Chapter 1- A Day in the Life of King Stephen
A long time ago, in a faraway kingdom, there lived an elderly king pondering alone in his study. His face looked downcast as he thought sadly, "I am King Stephen of Pines. The people think of me as a wise and good king. Here is the captain of the guard, standing tall and strong by the castle gates. Here is my son, Alexander, my heir to the throne, a growing boy whom I am proud of. But…the people are wrong. I am neither wise, nor good, for if it hadn't been for me…she would still be alive."
One year earlier
Three trumpeters tooted their horns as a pageboy announced, "His Majesty of the Kingdom of Pines, King Stephen!" In came King Stephen, with an air of regal dignity. Up the red carpet he strode, until he came to his throne, and there he sat. Beneath the red ermine cape, the king wore a royal purple jacket with gold trim, a red tunic with a leather belt, a gold chain, and a golden bejeweled crown on the top of his head, which was covered with silvery flowing locks of hair.
The three trumpeters again tooted their horns as the pageboy again announced, "And now, the Royal Twins, Prince Alexander and Princess Mabel!" In came the two children, in all their gaiety. Princess Mabel, the older twin by five minutes, wore a pink dress and hennin, with some light yellow on the hennin and skirt and a lavender veil on the hennin. Prince Alexander, the younger twin, wore a blue jacket with red-striped puff sleeves and a white collar, blue pants, black boots, and a golden crown on his brown hair.
After the royal twins had approached their old father, a town crier with the face of a toad, who kept passing himself as a royal messenger, came to the royal family. His name was Toby of Determined, and he said to the family, "Smile for the camera."
King Stephen was not amused and pointed out, "Your camera's a cinderblock, Toby."
Toby sighed, "I just wanna be a part of things."
Presently, a real royal messenger, and a very attractive one at that, appeared to the royal family and introduced herself, "Shandra of Jimenez, a real royal messenger. Smile for the real camera."
Princess Mabel, always the cheerful one, said to her father and brother, "Everybody say something stupid!"
Stephen and Alexander then joined her in saying, "Something stupid!" And Shandra of Jimenez snapped a picture of the royal family.
Afterwards, Stephen exclaimed, "Bring on the random banquet for no reason!"
And the banquet began. Ah, what a marvelous banquet it was! It had everything from roast beef to whole capon, from mutton to swan to peacock. It all looked quite tasty, especially to the royal family, and they and the people sat down to eat.
Following the random banquet for no reason, King Stephen announced to his people, "Everyone back to their places! It is now time for me to prepare for my monthly jousting tournament."
A few minutes later, the old king was having his armor put on by Soos, his captain of the guard. After a little while, he mounted his pony, which bore a passing resemblance to Rainbow Dash from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Once on his pony, Soos presented him with his shield, which had a golden Pac-Man fez symbol on a field of red, and his lance. King Stephen was ready for the tournament.
His opponent came from an enemy kingdom, the Kingdom of Gleeful. His name was King Robert. A big fat king with a receding hairline, he rode upon a great big horse with a big toothy grin.
Prince Alexander, sitting between his sister and Soos, commented, "Wow, the Kingdom of Gleeful is like a bizarro version of our kingdom. They even have their own Soos."
Upon seeing King Robert's captain of the guard, aptly named Deuce, Soos glared at him angrily.
As King Robert approached his old opponent, he laughed at him, saying, "How can you hope to beat me when your horse looks so girly?"
This made King Stephen feel embarrassed and indignant at his rival. "So you think I'm girly, huh?" he retorted. "I'll show you 'girly' in the joust!"
"Oh, yeah," taunted Robert. "Well, I've still got my queen, and my son Gideon is the most remarkable boy I ever knew."
Stephen promptly bluffed, "I'm not bothered by that."
As soon as the two kings got to their positions, the trumpets sounded, and there they went!
Both Stephen and Robert were moving at a furious pace. It was going to be ghastly! As the kings charged at each other, Alexander and Mabel shouted, "Go, father!" And Soos cheered with the children. With that encouragement, Stephen found the courage to smash his lance into his enemy's shield, striking him down to the ground. King Stephen had won!
The crowds cheered as their king accepted his trophy, and snapshots were taken.
Later, King Stephen took his two children, Mabel and Alexander, out into the fields for some bonding. "Now, children," Stephen said to his children. "I feel the need to teach someone to hunt and hawk. Eenie-meenie-miney…" He then pointed at his son Alexander and declared, "YOU!"
"Oh, what?" groaned Alexander. "How come I have to do all the dirty work?"
"Because life's not fair," Stephen answered. "Now stop complaining and take the hawk."
He then handed Alexander a blindfolded hawk. The young prince sighed as he removed the blindfold from the hawk and let it go find some quails and rabbits.
Afterwards, Stephen would teach his son to hunt for pheasants, partridges, and ducks. "Now, my son," he said to the boy. "When you see the target, all you have to do is aim your arrow at the game bird, and shoot. But be quiet so as not to scare it."
Alexander then pointed the arrow at the pheasant, pulled the bowstring, and shot the arrow at the pheasant.
When Stephen saw the pheasant fall to the ground, he said to Alexander, "Not bad, son. Not bad."
Meanwhile, Mabel was picking flowers with Wendy, her lady-in-waiting. As they laughed, they little realized that they were being watched…by young Prince Gideon and his father King Robert of Gleeful.
King Robert said to his son, "What a lovely little lady Princess Mabel is."
Prince Gideon sighed, "Father, I love her. I wanna marry her."
That night, King Stephen bonded with his two children, watching Bambi on the Disney Channel with Soos. They all had a really good time, laughing at the scene where Bambi was learning to talk and where Thumper was trying to teach Bambi how to slide on the ice. But then, at that one point in the movie, Bambi's mother raised her head, looked around, and said to her son, "Bambi, quick! The thicket!"
The royal family gazed in apprehension at the TV screen as Bambi and his mother raced to the thicket. "Faster! Faster, Bambi!" the mother cried out. "Don't look back! Keep running! Keep running!"
Then King Stephen, knowing the worst, covered the ears of the twins just before the gunshot was heard. As Bambi started searching for his mother, the old king thought to himself, "I'm never going deer hunting again."
Stephen's own captain of the guard was crying as Bambi was met with the Great Prince of the Forest, who said with characteristic solemnity, "Your mother can't be with you anymore."
Stephen then noticed that his own children were crying over the demise of Bambi's mother, and, realizing that the scene was hitting too close to home, he bowed his head sadly. Tears were rolling down his face. The very fact that his own queen, who bore him his children, was no longer with them just broke his heart.