Chapter 77

He tucks me under the covers, and looks into my eyes, I feel like a misbehaved child. His expression is of worry with a mixture of anger there. He closes the curtains on the window and secures the lock on it. I see him walk to the dresser and remove some items, but I can't tell what they are from where I'm laying down.

I see him walk into the hallway and close the door, but then it's like he realizes something and then opens it just a crack.

-"I'll just be in the living-room; Alice took the kids for breakfast so that you could have some quiet time to rest. She'll be back soon. Sleep, Bella; we'll all talk and everything will be better, honey"- He smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes.

I know that she won't come back with the children. She's not stupid. She'll just make up an excuse and pretend that they're probably staying with her friend or something. I know she'll be scared of me. Just like in Forks. It's frustrating, but at the same time I understand. I know this is her way of dealing with my bag of crazy. And if it makes her feel better to have her children away from me, then I'll just have to deal with it.

I actually want to leave but sleep overtakes my body and a doze on and off for a few minutes, I know this because I keep staring at the digital alarm clock set on the little night table next to the bed.

After almost 45 minutes of sleep I stand and get my things ready. I've packed everything already so there is no excuse to just walk out. I hear the door bell. Alice wouldn't ring it, she has keys. There's someone else coming, the fear of the unknown spikes a shot of adrenaline and I walk to the closet and grab the large rolling luggage. Opening the window, I throw it outside, it lands on the grass. I take my red messenger bag and trapped to my body and jump outside the window. I land on my feet and proceed to guide the large black rolling bag through the backyard and to the side walkway to get to the front of the property.

I walk slowly and careful not to make noise, I can hear from an open window the male voices. It's Jasper and another man. I think its Dr. McCarthy. They seamed frustrated and unsure, I can hear Jasper's voice trying to be calm, but there's and edgy panic to it.

I come to the entrance gate of the front of the house and open it careful not to make any loud noises, when I'm safely outside I close the latch on the gate and walk down the street.

I look behind me so make sure I'm not followed but there are several cars now, parking by the house, a large black SUV and an ambulance.

I keep walking quickening my pace, trying to look natural but at the same time moving faster away from the house. I watch as a red beat up pick-up truck makes a u-turn right in front of me and the man inside wearing an Chargers baseball cap, he smiles at me and asked me if I need a ride. I smile back and move to the back to put the bag in the truck bed. As I sit in the passenger seat, with this man with deep chocolate colored skin, I thank whatever power out there helped me get out of the trouble I was just about to face.

The truck moves towards the Mexican-American border line now. Alex -the nice man that's been giving me a ride has asked me general stuff. I know by our talk that he lives very far away from the boarder, and that he works in construction in San Diego. He's nice and polite; he's married to a Mexican doctor, they have 2 little girls, he's actually from Atlanta but met his wife while she was on a convention in Las Vegas, and they soon married.

He seams very nice, fatherly even. He's offered me a ride to cross back to the US, as soon as I finish my visit to "my sick friend". Yeah, I had to make up an excuse on the spot.

Because a young woman with a large bag should definitely not be accepting rides from strangers, now a days; as he's politely indicated.

I shrugged and have smiled apologetically. I offer to pay for gas. But he refuses and gives me his cel phone number as soon as he drops me off on the sidewalk in front of my apartment building. I thank him and grab my stuff quickly, trying to get in as soon as possible. I just hope that the land-lord hasn't evicted me while I was gone.

I walk up the stairs slowly trudging the heavy rolling suitcase, it's almost six in the afternoon when I finally finish cleaning the apartment, it still has a moldy smell that I'll probably never get ride of. The paint looks cracked and stained but my pictures are still there.

I feel worried and sad that I had to leave like that from Alice and Jasper's place. Not leaving a note, not telling them I'm sorry, or even telling them thank you for caking care of me. It just seams sad and wrong.

I grab a sweater, the temperature has dropped since I got here -this always happens during the evenings, I look into the now clean refrigerator, but I don't have any food. I grab my wallet and pick out some money to go to the corner store.

As I walk out I hear the little old lady that lives under me. She cracks her door just a tad –she's a nosey one but nice, she washes and irons clothes for a living, she also cooks meals and sells them on the street, her young granddaughter helps her out, they walk around the neighborhood selling tamales and champurrado, sometimes burritos and agua de arroz, those are very good. She sometimes used to feed me when I was low on cash, she's a nice lady, but now that I see her, she looks very angry. Her eyes show disapproval and desdaine.

I know I've fucked up, I really don't need her judgement. But she still feels like she needs to show it. She doesn't understand a word of English, but still I get her –Muchachita estupida"- she practically spits it out, and the way her eyes narrow and her nose turns up just a tad, I know she's cursing me.

I walk out with my head low, and sad that I've lost another one.

Why do people leave me?

It's been awhile since I felt this.

The street is dark, the streetlamps have been flickering on and off the whole afternoon, this city is beautiful at night but dangerous.