Author's note: This chapter is a little longer than most because there was a lot that I wanted to get in it and couldn't find a good stopping point to split it into two separate chapters. On an additional note, for those of you not up on your 1980's history, the speech Billy references is a real speech made my President Ronald Reagan on June, 12, 1987 to Mikhail Gorbechev about tearing down the Berlin Wall and allowing more freedom to the citizens in the Eastern Bloc. The full transcript and audio of the speech can be found here if anyone is interested . . And on a final note, the song lyrics are from the song "Amanda" by Boston released as a single from their album Third Stage released in 1986. I thought it's use would be appropriate for this story.

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Shortly before noon, Amanda entered the kitchen dressed for work where her mother was just hanging up the phone. "Mother, can you look after the boys for me? I have to go into the office for a couple of hours. They're both asleep right now, so they should be ok for a little while. I think Jamie's is close to having run its course. He hasn't gotten sick in over two hours, but we still need to keep pushing the fluids to keep him hydrated. Phillip's still seems to be hanging on, so you may need to keep any eye on him."

"What do you think you're doing, Amanda?"Dotty demanded.

"I told you I have to go the office. I'd rather stay here until I know the boys are feeling better, but I have a staff meeting that I just can't miss."

"I'm not talking about your job, Missy. I'm talking about your life. What are you doing with your life?"Dotty asked crossing her arms waiting for an answer.

"I don't know what you mean, Mother," Amanda said evasively.

"Don't you?" When Amanda didn't answer, she plunged on. "Ok, I'll tell you what I mean. You and your love life."

"Not this again," Amanda said in irritation..

"Yes, this again. Amanda, what are you doing?"

"Mother, I don't know what you're talking about."

"Ok, fine. You want to play this game again, that's just fine. Do you want to know who I just got off the phone with?"

"Who?"

"Edna Gilstrap. She called me very concerned because she swears she saw a man sneaking out your bedroom window and climbing down the trellis around two O'clock this morning."

"Mother, you know how Edna Gilstrap is. She's the neighborhood gossip and if she can't find something good to talk about, she makes it up."

"Really? I find it very interesting because that was right around the time I woke you up to help me with the kids, only I don't really believe that I woke you. I think you were in bed, just not sleeping and I don't believe you were alone."

"Mother, no," Amanda began but couldn't even finish the lie. It was getting way too complicated living multiple lives.

"No? So, you're telling me that if I'd opened the bathroom door that you kept staring so nervously at that I wouldn't have found Lee Stetson behind it putting his clothes back on?" Amanda simply hung her head. She knew from the moment she'd let Lee in that it was a mistake. "That's what I thought," Dotty said. "I'm not judging, Amanda and I wasn't surprised a bit when Edna called me with what she thought was a shocking bit of news about my daughter. I figured it out myself last night before I left your room between the open window, the way you kept trying to rush me out of the room, the way you kept staring at the bathroom door, and oh, yeah, your underwear on the floor. That was a big clue too. That's all aside from the fact that I know that you and Lee have been lovers for some time now."

"Mother," Amanda began but was silenced by the ferocious look on her mother's face.

"Don't, Amanda! Don't even attempt to lie to me anymore. I've had all I can take of them! You must think I'm pretty stupid not to have figured it out by now. This has been going on for awhile now, bits of Lee's clothing turning up in our laundry, all the "work" weekends that just happen to coincide with the weekends that the boys are with their father, the way you two look at each other every time he's here, that's the way that only two people who have been completely intimate with each other look."

"Mother, please," she said tears welling up in her eyes.

"Let me finish! I want you to know that it doesn't bother me that you're sleeping with Lee. The two of you obviously love each other very much. You're an adult and God knows you've earned the right to some happiness in your life, but you've also got to think of your future. This love affair has been going on for months and months and the two of you don't seem to be getting any closer to making a permanent commitment. I know that you're probably a little scared to take that next step after what Joe did to you, but how long can you be happy in this state of limbo with the man you love?"

"I'm not happy with it now, Mother," Amanda confessed, tears now flowing down her face.

"Then what's stopping you from doing something about it? What is this big secret that I don't know about that's keeping you from moving forward?"

"Mother, I can't. I'm sorry. I would love to tell you everything, but I..I just can't," She snatched her purse off the kitchen counter digging a tissue out of it and wiping her eyes. "Mother, I really have to go. Can you please watch the boys for me?"

"Of course, Darling, but we're not done talking about this." Amanda nodded and ran toward the front door.

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Lee had been fuming all day. Amana hadn't come to work yet and when he inquired, Francine has said that she had called and said that she'd only be able to come in for their daily briefing meeting scheduled at one, but then she'd have to leave because the kids were sick. He felt like a complete ass because he hadn't even thought last night to ask about Jamie, but at the same time, he thought Amanda was being a complete ass too by not even considering the option to talk about where there future was going and how to be a normal married couple. He was sure he must be wearing a hole in the floor of the office he shared with Amanda with all the pacing he'd been doing for the last hour while he stewed about their situation. He'd asked Mrs. Marston to call him the second Amanda walked in the door because he wanted a chance to talk to her in private before their meeting. He couldn't stop reflecting back on their conversation last night and how every time he'd broached the subject of coming clean about their marriage. What was so wrong with a man wanting to live openly with his wife and live together like a husband and wife should? He was jarred out of his thoughts by the phone ringing. "Stetson... She's here?" Thank you, Mrs. Marston." He said throwing the phone down, running out the door down the hall and taking the stairs two at a time to get to Amanda before she hit the elevator. "Amanda," He called causing her to turn as he descended the last step.

"Where's the fire?" She said as she stepped into the elevator.

"I need to talk to you."

"Let's talk in the elevator. We're going to be late for the meeting."

"Screw the meeting. I need to talk to you in private," he halted when he saw Mrs. Marston peering at him sideways form her perch. Reluctantly he got into the elevator. As he looked at her, he couldn't help but notice her puffy eyes, but he couldn't quite tell if it was from crying or lack of sleep from caring for sick kids all night.

"I'll be fine," She said. "What is it you wanted to talk to me about?"

"Not here, please. Can't we go someplace private and talk?"

"Not right now, Lee. We have a briefing to attend, remember?"She said as she stepped out of the elevator toward the bullpen.

"This can't wait, Amanda," he said and caught up with her just as she was entering the bullpen.

""Whatever it is, Lee, it's going to have to wait until later," She said raising her voice as she turned to walk toward the conference room.. She'd already had a fight with her mother today. She didn't need one with him to.

"No, Amanda, not later, now!" he said as he grabbed her arm and spun her around to face him only not in the seductive way he'd done it last night. He was through putting off having this much needed conversation.

"Lee, this isn't the time or place, people are staring." It was true. The occupants of the bullpen had stopped their chatter and their attention was solely focused on the two of them.

"Let them stare! I don't care what any of them think, anyway. I'm tired, Amanda. I'm dam tired. I'm tired of hearing that we'll talk about it later, because that later never comes!" He knew he was getting everyone's attention but didn't give a crap. He only wanted Amanda's and to hell with what anyone else thought. "I'm tired of hearing it's not the right time or place because it never seems to be the right time or place. I'm tired of being alone, I'm tired of all the lying and sneaking around! God knows we do enough of that on the job. Mostly, I'm really damn tired of trying to pretend that I'm not crazy in love with you!"

Billy barreled out of his office and shouted, "What the hell is going on out here?"

Francine leaned over and said softly. "Looks like Lee is trying to win Amanda back, from what I can tell. I never would have believed it if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes."

"Lee, stop it! You're making a scene!"Amanda exclaimed looking around the room.

"Don't look at them! Look at me!" He said reaching out and grabbing her shoulder to turn her focus back to him. "if you would have given me just ten damn minutes of your time in private, there wouldn't be a scene. I'm going absolutely crazy without you! Don't you get that?"

"Do you think it doesn't hurt me too?" she fired back at him. "Seeing you at the office every day and then going home alone?"

"But you don't go home alone. You have your kids and your mother to go home to. Do you know what I have to go home to? Nothing!" He shouted. "Nothing but an empty apartment where all I can see is memories of you, your clothes in my closet, your toiletries in my bathroom and then I go to sleep alone every night in a bed draped in sheets that still smell like you. Don't you understand that this is torture for me?"

"Don't you think I hate it too?"she said in a softer tone reaching up her hand to rest on his face.

"No, I don't," He said pulling back from her touch. "I want to believe that and I used to, but now I think you get some kind of thrill out of sneaking around! I saw the excitement in your eyes when we were making love last night with your mother in the next room and your kids down the hall. I think you get off on the danger of getting caught!"

Amanda gasped. "What?! I can't believe you would say something like that to me? Is that really what you think of me?"

"Hey, come on, you two, break it up," Billy said trying to intervene.

"Back off, Billy!"

"Whatever you may think, Lee, we made a decision and we have to stick to it!"

"Well, it was the wrong damn decision! In fact, I'm thinking now that this whole damn thing was a big mistake right from the start!"

"OH? Is that what you think? Well, then it's a good thing I know from experience exactly how to rectify that kind of mistake," She said hotly as she yanked the chain with her rings from around her neck and shoved it into Lee's hand. She turned o her hell and stormed into the conference room.

"Amanda, wait," He attempted to follow her, but was stopped by Billy.

"Lee, stop it. Let her go, Man. Give her a chance to calm down." He then turned to address the bullpen. "Show's over, people! Get back to work! We've got a briefing to get started! Move!" At the sound of their boss' angry voice people returned to their work and those who were scheduled for the briefing began filing into the conference room.

Francine strolled up to Lee saying, "My, my"

"Whatever you've got to say, Francine, just stow it!" Lee said as he shoved Amanda's rings into his pocket and made his way into the conference room. He noticed that Amanda had taken a seat across from where she normally sat next to him She was sitting in the last chair toward the head of the table with Efraim Beaman beside her, so he reluctantly took the seat across from her and Francine slid into the chair next to him. "Great," he muttered. He knew everyone was staring at him and whispering amongst themselves. He supposed he deserved it for the chaos he had caused but he was beyond caring at this point. He didn't return any of their stares or listen to any of their whispers. His focus was only on his wife across the table who stubbornly refused to make eye contact with him. He knew that she'd misunderstood when he said they'd may a mistake, but he hadn't meant their marriage was a mistake, only the secrecy of it. If only he could get her to look at him, he knew he could let her know that without words. Sometimes they didn't need words to communicate.

"Ok, People, let's get down to business!"Billy said as he entered the room immediately silencing the whispers as everyone straightened up in their seats ready to pay attention to their section chief.

The meeting droned on for what seemed like forever. Amanda wasn't paying attention to anything that Billy was saying just staring down at her legal pad in front of her nervously tapping her pencil against it. She knew Lee would be staring at her, but she couldn't bring herself to look at him or she knew she'd break down in tears again. His words kept running through her head. This whole damn thing was a big mistake right from the start! A mistake? When they'd said their vows four months ago, she would never thought it would have come to this. She thought she'd finally found a man who would live by the for-better-or-for-worse. Lord knows they'd been through more than their fair share of the for-worse part. She couldn't believe that just a few hours ago she'd felt closer to him than she had in a long time. Now not even twelve hours later, they couldn't be farther apart even though they were sitting in the same room. She was pulled from her thought by Billy's voice saying her name. "I'm sorry, Sir. What were you saying?"

Billy glanced at her, then at Lee and shook his head. Lee had just asked him the same thing. It was clear neither one of them had their minds on work after the major blow-up that had just occurred. "Ok, people meeting adjourned. Desmond, Beaman, get down to fabrications so they can start working on your covers, Stetson, King, My office! Now!" Everyone rose from their seats.

Beaman rushed to catch up with Francine and said, "Well, this should be an interesting assignment."

"Just don't you get any idea, Efraim. This is strictly business," Francine fired back as they exited the room.

Soon Lee and Amanda were the only ones left in the room. Amanda slowly rose from her seat with a sigh careful not to look at her husband. Husband? He hadn't really felt like her husband since they'd been married. She was starting to feel like she was reliving her failed marriage to Joe King all over again, only this time it wasn't her husband that was causing them to live separately, it was her. She just kept thinking about the danger that having Lee around all the time with all the enemies he'd made over the years would put her children in. She was terrified that they'd be caught in the crossfire, although is she were truly honest with herself, she would have to admit that there was a bigger fear that was keeping her from fully embracing Lee as her husband. When she walked by where Lee was still sitting he stopped her with a hand on her arm.

"Amanda," he said softly.

She pulled her arm out of his grasp still refusing to look at him. "Billy wants us in his office," she said as she forged her way out the door.

Lee sighed having no choice but to follow her out of the conference room and into Billy's office where his boss was already closing the blinds for privacy and his wife was already seated across from Billy's desk. He dropped wearily into the seat next to her.

Billy didn't sit at his desk as normal instead he leaned against the front of it, having a feeling that before this meeting was over, he may have to play referee. "Ok, Just what the hell is going on here?"he demanded. When both agents remained silent, he said, "Ok, You don't want to talk, the how about you listen! What happened out there today will never happen again. I told you a few months ago that I supported you personal relationship. Don't make me regret that decision. I don't care what you've got going on in your private life. Just keep it out of this office. If you don't, I'll be forced to assign you both new partners."

"NO!" Lee and Amanda said simultaneously.

"Ok, well, that's at least one thing you seem to agree on," Billy said. "I don't want to have to split you two up. You're the best damn team I've got. You work together better than any team I've ever seen, but if you can't keep it professional, I'll have no choice but to separate you." He picked up a file from his desk. "Now, I know neither of you heard a word I said in this meeting, so I'm going to break it down for you and I want both of you to pay attention this time. If I have to repeat it a third time, I'll write you both up!"

"We're listening," Lee said glancing over at his wife who as staring straight ahead. He reached for her hand that rested on the arm of the chair in an attempt to get her to look at him so he could make peace.

She yanked her hand away from him, "Don't touch me,' she hissed through clenched teeth.

"Funny, Not what you said last night," he countered. "In fact, I recall you begging me to keep touching you!"

"Well, that was before you started-"

"Enough!"Billy shouted silencing both of them.

"Go ahead, Sir," Amanda said while Lee just grunted and folded his arms tightly across his chest.

"All right, You two have an undercover assignment starting the day after tomorrow. We have some intel that a major coup is pending that could disrupt years of our efforts in keeping some semblance of peace in the Eastern Bloc. I'm sure I don't have to tell you that after the president's speech about tearing down the wall ten days ago, things have been in an uproar over there. There's a group called the Eastern Freedom Brigade..."

"I know them," Lee said. "I ran across a couple of their members last time I was in West Germany."

"Then I'm sure you know that they are the most radical group supporting freedom for the East Germans and their members will use any means necessary to achieve that. While I support the president's proposal to end the communist reign in east Germany, this intel we've got comes at a very delicate time. His speech seems to have earned Gorbechev's respect, but that could all go to hell if we let a bunch of crazies start blowing things up. The information we've got says that this brigade is planning to do just that, sometime between now and Sunday. The president's "tear down this wall" bit has them riled up in a way that we've never seen before. There's a group here in DC called the Marriage Survivalist Group that we've suspected is linked to them. We don't know all the details. We just know that there's supposed to be some major exchanges of weaponry at some couples' survival retreat at Hungry Mother State Park in Marion."

"Marion," Amanda said thoughtfully thinking back to the last time she'd been in Marion. That was the day she'd vowed to be with Lee forever. Who knew forever would be so short?

"You know it?"

"Um...Yeah..."she stammered. "I've...um...taking the boys camping there before." Lee snorted at Amanda's lie. He knew that's not why the mention of Marion had gotten her flustered.

"Well, the retreat is starting on Wednesday which is suspicious enough because the park isn't officially open to the public yet since it's been undergoing extensive remodeling since it was purchased by the state last year so the only way to get our people in is to sign them up for the retreat. The hang-up is that since it's being run by this Marriage Survivalist outfit, it's only open to married couples."

"What's the deal with this retreat?"Lee inquired.

"Well, from what I understand, they really put the for=better-or-worse part of a couple's marriage to the test, giving them all kinds of tasks to complete together that require teamwork. I don't know all the details, but supposedly it's to help couples connect with each other and test their commitment to one another by putting them through the ringer."

"Great," Lee said with a shake of his head. That's all they needed. One more thing to test their already rocky marriage.

"Do you think you two can handle posing as a married couple until Sunday with what's been going on in your personal life? If you don't think you can, I can always rotate the assignments and pair you with Francine and Beaman with Amanda."

"NO!" both Lee and Amanda answered.

"Good, so you can both be professional?"

"Absolutely, Sir," Amanda said with more confidence than she felt. "As long as Mr. Stetson can control his temper and his penchant for making scenes in public," she snarled.

"Well, I can keep my temper perfectly under control as long as Mrs. King..." He cringed a little at calling her that knowing she was really Mrs. Stetson, "...can put a lid on her need to always be in control and remember what it's like to be a team player." he fired back not looking at Amanda anymore.

"All right, you two, knock it off. I want you to get down to fabrications to get your cover started, then take the rest of today and tomorrow off to work on whatever started this feud. You're going to have to work as a team for five days and you can't do that if you're constantly sniping at each other."

"Yes, Sir," Amanda said rising from her seat. "Will that be all, Sir?"

"Oh, here," Billy said handing her the file before stepping back behind his desk. Amanda rather than walking in front of the chairs to get to the door, purposely walked out of her way behind them to avoid contact with Lee as he was sitting in the chair closer to the door. She walked out of Billy office with Lee hot on her heels.

As they entered the bullpen, a group of their co-workers burst into song, "I'm gonna take you by surprise and make you realize, Amanda!"

"Shut the hell up!" Lee snapped at all of them as he and Amanda made their way through the crowd but they didn't stop

The group didn't stop though, "I'm gonna tell you right away, I can't wait another day, Amanda."

Billy hearing the commotion, stepped out of his office and bellowed. "You heard the man. Shut the hell up! Get back to work, all of you, or I'll write everyone up!" He watched his favorite pair of agents with a deep heaviness in his chest as he observed Amanda walking as fast as her legs would carry her and Lee racing to catch up with her. He hoped they'd be able to repair whatever rift was between them soon.