Regina was too close, her face about an inch from Emma's. She felt Regina's warm breath on her cheek, the scent of her skin drowning Emma in apples and cinnamon and … a touch of lavender? I smiled contentedly into her flashing dark eyes.
"Good night …"
And that's when it happened. Her boss, her friend, her obsession - Regina Mills - kissed her.
And it was hot.
Regina was too close, her face about an inch from Emma's. She felt Regina's warm breath on her cheek, the scent of her skin drowning Emma in apples and cinnamon and … a touch of lavender? I smiled contentedly into her flashing dark eyes.
"Good night …"
And that's when it happened. Her boss, her friend, her obsession - Regina Mills - kissed her.
And it was hot.
In that moment, she opened. It was just like those lame depictions in old movies and in romance novels. Apparently, they're lame because they're true. Emma unfurled like a fucking flower under Regina's skilled lips and tongue.
Emma dropped her purse and heard the shoes clatter out of her coat pockets as she reached for Regina's waist. Regina was leaning into the kiss, but when Emma slid her fingers into the soft hair at her employer's neck and pulled gently, she came closer. Emma's heart pounded. Regina had offered, and she was taking. She felt the tears prickle at the back of her eyelids.
Emma had never been so ecstatic. So … yes … grateful.
"Oh yes," Regina groaned against Emma's pink lips. Her warm hands snaked under Emma's red raincoat. As busy as their mouths were, Regina's hands began to move on Emma in patterns that threatened her sanity. She told her conscience to shut the fuck up and explored Regina's warm mouth as if the very secrets of existence were laid bare there. Emma's eyes tightly closed, she didn't want to wake from this dream if that was what it truly was. God knows, she'd had enough dreams featuring Regina Mills that left her wanting and hot and alone in the dark.
Emma moaned into Regina's devilish tease of a mouth and sucked her plump bottom lip, nipping with her teeth. She grew brave and opened her eyes, watching Regina's surprise at her play. In that instant her dark eyes were quicksilver, and Emma saw them shutter even as her right hand was on her left breast. Regina's thumb was on her nipple, and it felt as though her flesh was on fire.
It was on fire. For her. For Regina's touch, the only one that would relieve Emma of the burden she carried. The love Emma felt for Regina was painful. She was on fire. She was bruised and beaten and loved the feeling as Regina trailed her flaming kisses down the blonde woman's neck. Emma imagined she wanted one more taste before dragging her inside to bed where a warm cocoon of requited love was about to be created.
"I'm sorry …" Regina whispered. Her hands were still on Emma's body, and she felt the husky hardness in her employer's grip loosen. Emma knew she wasn't sorry. Even as she pulled away from Emma there on the porch of the guesthouse, the motion sensor picked up the movement and a light clicked on. It was like being doused in cold water. Emma was shaking, still quivering like an abandoned, rain-soaked pup - just from the power of Regina's kisses.
Her apology didn't make Emma feel any less of a fool. A confused fool, but a stupid fool nonetheless. A warm cocoon, Emma thought. Yeah. As if that was ever going to happen, she thought, backing away and closing in on herself to protect her sensitive, soft parts.
Regina, her eyes confused searched Emma's pale features, but the blonde's darkening eyes slid from her and looked out into the darkness. It had suddenly gone even colder. "It's alright," she mumbled, pushing back a mass of wild blonde curls as she reached down for her purse. The encounter had gone from mindblowing to crap in the space of a few moments. Emma knew what would happen. Regina would pretend it never occurred, while she never could forget. The kiss would eat at her every minute of every day she spent with her employer, and Emma would never have any peace.
"I'll see you in the morn…er, in a few hours?" Regina attempted that reassuring smile that always seemed to do things to her. It didn't meet her eyes, which were still somewhat clouded with wanting, even as Regina brushed a finger against Emma's arm.
Work. Of course. How stupidly naïve to think she might speak of anything else.
"Yes. Work…" Emma said as she let herself into her brightly lit temporary home.
"Emma …" her eyes asked a question to which the blonde didn't have an answer. Emma knew Regina would want to go back to what she saw as a perfect working relationship, what they'd had before what Emma was already thinking of as The Kiss. Capital letters. If it had been hard for Emma before, it was now impossible. Her stomach dropped, and she felt the sharp pressure of disappointment somewhere behind her sternum.
Regina's response definitely put a hairline fracture in a heart where there hadn't been one in before. And to think I had been so careful, guarded it so diligently by refusing to care for anyone, Emma thought. By thinking herself unlovable and unworthy of another person's love or regard, she protected herself from such overwhelming notions and emotions. The trick hadn't worked this time, though, and the reality was crashing down upon her that her so-called trick was truth. I sound pathetic even to myself. I am pathetic.
Emma looked at Regina, hoping her stupid eyes would keep the tears imprisoned just a few moments longer. A few more minutes and Regina would be gone. It would be over, and Emma could pack and leave. It was what she did best.
"I'm tired," Emma said, her voice an octave deeper than usual. She gently pulled further away from Regina and her dark beauty - far enough that even a casual touch would be unlikely. Emma needed the cold, the opposite of the warmth her body offered but her heart and mind did not. She needed it as a way to bring her back to her reality. To remind her. And she was tired, in so many ways. Tired of loving a woman who would never love her back, or allow herself to. Tired of wasting her life waiting. Tired of living a life she knew wasn't going to enrich her any further than what it already had.
She ducked into the small cottage and closed the door with a click, shutting Regina out for the last time. Emma couldn't bear to be in Regina's presence anymore; she had been laid so bare, splayed open for all to see with the power of just one kiss.
Emma had learned what she needed to in this situation. She was not loved in return. Regina had apologized for The Kiss, for making her think things that were impossible.
Now Emma Swan was thinking it was time to move on.
Regina stood on the lovely wraparound porch wondering what to do. It seemed she sat there forever in a wrought iron chair, even after Emma had closed the door with a soft click. Emma watched Regina from inside after she turned off the lights in the cottage. Just sat and watched Regina from the other side of the picture window as she seemed to contemplate her world. After a while, Emma saw her slowly rise from the chair and walk toward the main house. When Regina's figure faded into the dark outside the boundaries of the lighted walkway, Emma dared to move and flipped the lights back on.
The brightness of Regina's world would never admit someone like Emma Swan, homeless orphan and one-time jailbird. Regina's world hurt her eyes and promised things that would never happen. It was time to make the decision for Regina, who was too kind to pull the plug on their relationship … whatever it was at this point. But Emma knew that in the light of day, they would never discuss The Kiss. It was best this way.
Soon after Regina left for the main house, Emma packed everything – which was ashamedly little, mostly clothes and the odd books (mostly those by Regina) – and called a taxi to meet her at the driveway gate.
Emma Swan was long gone before the workday started.