Chapter 79
I walk up the street to my building, there are some young kids playing with an old almost flatten soccer ball, they're kicking it around and talking in loud voices, there smiles are bright, and they only wear shorts and ragged t-shirts. To me it's still cold, the wind still whips my hair but not to violently against my face.
As I enter the lower level of the building I hear some crying and the smell of cooking food is in the air, I also hear male voices speaking angrily as well as some female whimpers. I know what's happening but I have to concentrate to walk up the stairs. I still feel it close to me, it's following me every step. I open the door to my apartment and as soon as I close and lock the front door, I feel ensconced in to this swirling heat and the tingling in my body intensifies, I can feel the fluttering behind my skin. There is a longing... a lustful longing.
I know this is strange and kind of messed up but I wake up early today and make my breakfast, I walk around the apartment looking at the images on my walls, I feel happy to be back here, it's like it's were I belong, it's where it is. I'm still I little frighten about this whole thing, but I want to understand it more, I want to communicate with it, maybe it will leave as soon as I get it's message, or maybe it wants me to do something for it.
Today I'll be going to the club to see if I still have a job to go back to and to know what's been going on while I was in the nuthouse.
Of course I won't be telling them anything, I'll just say that I was ill or some shit like that. Aro will be pissed and I hope Heidi can cover for me and be on my side.
After painting almost the whole morning on the supplies I'd bought in Chula Vista, I finally have some stuff on the canvases. I mounted 9 on the wood I still had.
I paint and paint.
I feel like I can't stop.
I've done 5 already and still my paint covered hands move rapidly against the canvas, the brushes and the rags aid me in discovering what's behind this.
The dark hood makes several appearances, I find hands that are so delicate and soft but still masculine and strong at the same time. I find a pair of lips that are stained in red, almost bloodied. The tip of the nose that picks from the hood also angular and prominent. I fell a strange anxiety, an almost euphoric need to finish this, as if painting until I can decipher the images.
After awhile I need some air, so I open the window, it's almost 3 when I realize I haven't had lunch, but this compulsion to mix the colors and uncover the images hidden on the canvas is too much. I feel a draft against my back and the tingling sensation against my cheek. My hands tremble and my body almost boats against the heat and the desire I feel.
I walk towards the canvas again and poise my hand on the side of the face I've been working on. I have the outline of the features this is a male, his eyes are almost feline, the eye brows are bushy and give an expression of masculinity but also delicate almost feminine.
His nose is straight and long, the tip a little crocket but still very angular. His jaw is strong, his lips are pouty, and they almost look soft.
I'm surprised at how every detail of this face is so defined and as I see the almost finished painting I try to think of someone that he may resemble, but I'm lost.
I sit on the floor on the side of the window, I look outside and try to write in my small journal, but nothing comes out.
I see the old trees swinging in the breeze. The sandwich I made for lunch still sits half bitten on the small night table. The water glass that always sits there is half empty. I can see the little dust particles swirling in the water as if they are dancing to an unheard rhythm.
I look at the small watch on my nightstand and notice that I only have two hours to get ready. I stand from my place on the floor, and walk to the bathroom.
The clothes are on a pile on the floor and I'm soaking in hot scented water, I even drooped a few cinnamon teabags to the water, I have almond oil covering my skin to soften it. After sitting there for a while thinking about everything that has been happening in the last months, I feel myself shiver a bit. It's here sitting in the corner of the bathroom, I can almost see him. I know now that it can't stay away.
I sit up a little, the water sloshes it covers the floor. I feel the heat coming from the corner of the room, and it almost burns my skin.
After everything is ready I put on a pair of skinnie jeans and an old soft tshirt, my hair is up in a messy bun and the sunglasses I'm wearing will cover my gaze from everyone.
After a few minutes I'm totally pissed, my keys are missing and I'm late.
I had cleaned the apartment, but now it's a desaster area, I've even turned the furniture upside down looking the the damn keys, but nothing is there.
FUCK! I scream my frustration to the universe.
After sitting on the floor and pulling at my hair, I get the idea to call the supper and ask for an extra pair. He seams to be pissed and a little frighten of me, since Demitrie talked to him about me, and payed my way overdue rent he gives me the extra keys and gets off my case about the water damage to the apartment below mine.
I go back to my apartment and grab my messenger bag and pissed I mumble to the figure sitting on the far left corner of the room. I can see the shadow but not really the figure. He's here.
I know he is, yeah, it's a he, I know I heard the long sigh when I got out of the tub.