Author's Note: Smut alert ahead, I should give you all fair warning, this chapter does absolutely nothing to advance the plot of this story. It's just Lee's memories of the past and thoughts for the future.
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Lee stepped into Amanda's room and noticed that the bedding was still rumpled from when Amanda was lying down. He knew that was a sure sign she hadn't been feeling well. She always straightened the bed as soon as she got out of it. Even the nights she'd spent at his place, she'd done the same thing. It was part of her routine. He removed his bag from where Dotty had laid it on the bed and tossed it onto the floor before stripping down to his boxers and climbing into bed. As he laid his head on Amanda's pillow, the scent of her invaded his nostrils. He recalled what he'd said during their fight about how hard it was sleeping on sheets that still smelled like her. This time he didn't mind though. He wanted to be reminded of her right now. These were the same sheets they'd made love on less than twenty-four hours ago. It may have been less than a day, but with all that had happened, it felt like a lifetime, between climbing down the trellis and barreling out to his car, to waiting anxiously for her to show up at the office and the ensuing argument, wandering the aisles of the grocery store looking for the right items to bring home for this kids.
Home, he thought. It wasn't his home, but it sure felt more like home than any other place he'd ever been, a hell of a lot more than the emptiness of his own place. He needed Amanda to fill that emptiness, not just in his home, but in his life. If he could get through to Amanda and persuade her that they needed to live together like a normal husband and wife, he knew this house wouldn't be able to be home for long. It was too small for their growing family, especially now that the boys were getting older. Phillip was already a teenager and Jamie soon would be. The time was coming when they would each need their own space. And then there was the baby. All three bedrooms in this house were occupied, so where were they going to put the baby? No, they'd have to start talking about shopping for a bigger place before the baby came.
The baby. They were going to have a baby. It hadn't really had time to fully sink in yet. It was completely unplanned, but no less of a miracle. He got to thinking about the day the baby had been conceived. Amanda had been so angry with him over that stupid list and he had done everything he could to make it up to her. He drifted off to sleep with those memories in his head.
Lee walked into his apartment, legal pad behind his back in one hand, keys in the other. He'd started to walk past the entry table, then thought about one of the little stupid things that has started the fight to begin with, glanced at the table and tossed the keys there.
"Hi," he said to his wife who was sitting in the armchair opposite the couch. When she didn't even look up, he continued. "Uh, I just saw Harry. He has been discharged from the hospital. He is looking great," he said awkwardly. She looked up, nodded curtly then looked back down again. oh, yeah, she's still pissed, he thought. "What are you doing?"He asked.
"I'm writing you a note," Amanda replied without looking up.
"Uh, Amanda, I realize that making that list was a very stupid thing to do. I mean, everybody does sill little things that bothers the other person."
Finally she looked up and made eye contact. "Do you have flowers behind your back?"
"No," he said with a slight smile that at least she realized he was trying to make up. He pulled the tablet from behind her back and approached her now that he felt it was safe.
Amanda forcefully capped the pen she'd been writing with, looked up at him and sarcastically said, "More complaints?"
"No, It's a list of all the things I love about you," he said as he knelt down in front of her.
"Aw," she said and finally rewarded him with the smile that he loved. He started to lean in to kiss her reaching to put his arms around her, but was stopped by her hand on his chin. "Better be a loooong list," she said with a grin. When he smiled back at her, she then used the hand on his chin to pull him in for a lingering kiss bringing her hands up to stroke his face.
When their kiss ended they just smile at each other for a moment. "Let me recite some of this for you," he said.
"I'm listening," she said.
"Well, first and foremost, I love that you love me, flaws and all, even when I do stupid things."
"That is not number one on your list," she teased. "You're just trying to butter me up."
"No, it is. See?" he said as he pointed to the list.
"What else is on that list?" she said as she tried to grab it from him. He pulled it away from her.
"Uh-uh, No, I'm going to read it to you." he said as she tried to grab it from him again.
"Let me see it!"she said as she made another grab for it propelling them both onto the floor her landing squarely on top of him causing them to both burst out laughing.
"Forget the list," he said tossing it aside and wrapping his arms around her. "I'll just tell you what I love about you." He reached for the clip holding her hair up. "I love your thick, dark hair," he said as he released the clip letting her hair fall to her shoulders. He tossed the hair clip aside. "Especially when it's down and you have all these wild curls framing your beautiful face," He softly stroked her face as he said this. "Which brings us to the next thing on the list. Your face. I love you face, everything about it from your cute little nose to your warm brown eyes, to the smile you smile when I walk in the room. That special smile that you reserve just for me. Your soft lips, the way I can't get enough of kissing them," he said as he pulled her head down to his and captured her lips in a more passionate kiss that the one before. During this kiss, he felt his wife's hands loosening his tie. "I love how you straighten my tie for me when it's crooked," he said with a grin.
She laughed as she got his tie loose and held it up for him to see. "Like this?"she said as she tossed the tie aside.
"Yeah, just like that," he said with a laugh. "I love how soft your skin feels," he continued as he slipped his hands beneath her shirt running then up and down her bare back beneath it before lifting it over her head and tossing it away.
"I love the feel of your strong hands when they touch my skin," Amanda said getting into the act, all traces of her anger gone as she began working on the buttons on his shirt.
"I love how you like to undo the buttons on my shirt one at a time and kiss me on the spots you uncover," he said as she was doing just that. "I love the way your warm lips feel on my skin."
"I love the hard muscles you keep so well hidden beneath your suit and tie," she said as she went back to her task. When she got to the last button, she yanked the tails of his shirt from his pants.
Lee pulled her to him again only this time not for her lips, "I love this little beauty mark on your neck" he said as brought it down to his lips and gently began to suckle the tender skin beneath it making her gasp.
"I love how you know the right places to kiss me," Amanda said just before he flipped her over onto her back.
"I love the way you feel beneath me," he said once again kissing her soundly.
When he released her lips, Amanda was too breathless for coherent thought. "bedroom..."she gasped out "...now."
Lee smiled as he stood shrugged out of his jacket and shirt and in one swift move, scooped her into his arms walking with her to the bedroom unfastening her bra along the way, dropping it in the hall. When they reached the bedroom, Lee stepped out of his dress shoes while Amanda kicked off her flats. He sat her on the bed and reached for the button on her slacks then the zipper before sliding them down her legs revealing the black lacy panties beneath them. "I love how you dress so conservatively in public and save the sexy stuff for my eyes only," he said as he bent to kiss the scrap of lace that was the only thing left covering her. Amanda laid back on the bed inviting him to do more. He slid the panties off of her then resumed his position. "I love the way you taste," he said flicking his tongue against her center.
"Lee," she cried out. "Oh, I love how good you are with your tongue .ohhhh" when he dipped his tongue inside her she was lost and couldn't form another word as her breathing became ragged. She held his head there running her fingers through his hair while he slid his hands under her hips bringing them up to meet his mouth as he continued his onslaught until he heard her crying out her release and felt her shuddering beneath him.
He raised his head finally to look at her and said, "I love the way you call out my name when you climax," he said softly.
When her breathing had slowed enough to speak, she turned herself around on the bed so that she was lying on the side she normally slept on. "Get in here," she said.
He stripped out of his pants and boxers before crawling into bed with her. He had only laid down a second when she was on him, trailing kisses from his neck to his collarbone, his chest, his stomach, his hip, then with nor warning took him in her mouths. "Oh, God, Amanda," He cried out as she began to suckle him. "I love the way to do that." He was about to lose himself in her mouth and he wasn't ready for this moment to be over. "No, no more, Amanda,." He said stopping her. When she looked up at him a curious look on her face. "It's great, but I need to be inside you." He flipped her over again like he had in the living room, driving himself into her before she could protest. "I love being inside you," he said.
"I love feeling you inside me," she replied as she spread her legs wider to opens herself up more for him.
Lee kissed her fiercely as he moved within her. He release her lips and once again lifted her hips to allow him deeper penetration continually driving into her. He looked into her eyes. "I love making love to you," he said.
"Oh, Lee," he cried out. "I love the way you make me feel." She cried out his name again as another climax hit her.
"Oh, yes, Amanda, I love feeling you tighten around me," he said as his own climax began and he kept moving inside his wife clinging to her, kissing her again and again until had completely emptied himself within her and collapsed on top of her.
Amanda wrapped her arms around his neck and cradled his head against her shoulder, running her fingers through his hair and kissing his face. "Boy when you want to butte me up, you really want to butter me up," she said.
He laughed heartily as he rolled over pulling her with him to his side of what he now considered to be their bed."The question is, did it work?" he teased.
"I don't know yet," She said as she drew lazy circles on his chest with her finger. "Tell me more of the things you love about me."
"You need more?"
"Mm-hmm, you came up with six pages of things you didn't like about me. I don't think we've come close to matching that yet," she said with a wicked glint in her eyes."
The look in her eyes told him that while she was no longer mad, she wasn't quite ready to let him entirely off the hook yet. "Ok, how's this? I love that you don't put up with my bullshit, I love that you call me out on it."
"That's a good start, but keep 'em coming."
"I love your strength. You've been through so much crap in your life, but you still fight. I love that you fight. It's the strength and that fight that kept me from losing you on our honeymoon. It's what brought you back to me." He traced the scar on her chest with his finger. "I love this scar and how it reminds me every time that I see it how close I came to losing you and makes me love you and appreciate you even more. I love how you always look for the silver lining even when we're staring down death together. I love your passion. I love how you love life. I love how you're fiercely protective of everyone around you. That's what makes you a good agent. I love how you love Phillip and Jamie, how you go out of your way to be the best mother you can be. I love how you love a cheery kitchen. I love how you make a poppy seed cake."
"Ok, I think that's enough," she said as she softly kissed him.
"Are you sure, 'cause I've got a lot more."
"Yeah, I'm sure. You've buttered me up enough.
"Just one more then. I love that you were so patient with me waiting for me to be ready for you. I think we both know by now that we had feelings for each other long before we ever admitted to ourselves, let alone to each other. I love that you waited so patiently for me to say I love you first."
"I had to. There were so many times when I'd catch you looking at me with that expression of pure love in your eyes, but as soon as you caught me catching you it was gone. I knew from that that if I said it first and you weren't ready to say it back, that we'd be right back where we started."
"When you're talking about love you have to be patient. You said those words to me once."
"I remember. I was talking about poor Agnes and her heartbreak, but I was also talking about myself waiting for you. I knew even then that I was in love with you and you with me, but you still weren't ready then. I was hoping by saying those words out loud, it might give you some kind of clue."
"It did."
"Then why did it take you another three months to really kiss me and ten months to tell me how you felt?"
"Fear, mostly. Fear that you'd tell me to go to hell. But you know something, you were the only woman I was seeing at that time."
"I know that. I knew that from the night you broke your date with Leslie to take me out about a month before that. That's why I couldn't understand it. You had made a decision to only date me which was a pretty big commitment for you and yet you were still afraid to let the words out. You should have been smart enough to know that I wouldn't tell you to go to hell. If that was what I was thinking, I wouldn't have kept going out with you."
"Well, I know that now and I'm not afraid anymore. I'll demonstrate. I love you, Amanda Stetson," he said with a kiss to her lips.
"mm," Amanda said contentedly. "Say it again."
"I love you," he repeated with another kiss.
"No, the other part," she said.
"Amanda Stetson." He kissed her again. "I love you, Mrs. Stetson."
"I love hearing that and I don't get to hear it often enough."
"Mrs Stetson," he said one more time before locking his lips to hers. As she kissed him back ferociously, pressing her body against his, he felt himself growing hard again. He couldn't explain it, but no other woman had ever produced that level of desire in him. All it took was a simple kiss from her and he couldn't wait to have her again. He could never get enough of her. It didn't take her long to notice what her kisses had done to him. He was delighted when she took full advantage of it pushing herself against his erection until he was inside her again. She shifted her legs so that he had one knee on each die of him to use for leverage moving back and forth slowly leaning forward to kiss him while she took him in and out of her over and over again. until he felt himself spilling into her again.
Lee awoke with a start, the memories still washing over him. He recalled that they had napped for about an hour after their second round then had risen to shower and that's where round three had happened. After showering they had only put on their robes knowing it wouldn't be long before they were in bed for the night. Lee then went to fix them some dinner, while Amanda picked up the apartment, gathering up their scattered clothing and putting it away, the notepad and pen she'd dropped when knocking him to the floor and the legal pad containing his list. He remembered vividly that he'd walked into the living room to tell her that dinner was ready found her reading the list with tears streaming down her face. He had then knelt down in front of the armchair much like he had earlier and wiped the tears away. She gave him a loving smile as he leaned to kiss the rest of her tears away. That began round four in which they didn't make it to the bedroom and their dinner got cold.
They lay on the living room floor wrapped up in each other. "You know, thanks to you, I'm gonna have some serious rug burn on my ass," Lee said with a chuckle.
"You're blaming me for that?"Amanda said in mock horror.
"Well, you did tackle me," he said with a chuckle.
"Well, if you don't stop being so sweet, I'm not going to be able to walk straight for a week," she countered.
"Is that another complaint, Mrs. Stetson?"
"No, Mr. Stetson, that is another thing I love about you."
"You know, I think this is most we've ever made love in one day before."
"That's not really true, if you count our wedding night and the following morning since it was within a twenty-four hour period.'
"Right," he said. "Twice that night and twice in the morning. So, we tied our wedding night."
"Wanna set a new record," she said in a sultry voice.
"Well, I don't know. I wouldn't want to keep you from walking straight," He teased.
"I was just thinking since we didn't have a real honeymoon, maybe now would be the time to make up for it."
"We really should eat, you know, to keep our strength up," he replied with smile.
Lee rolled over in bed and glanced at the clock. 6AM. He didn't realize he'd slept so long. He needed to get up if he was going to get back to the hospital to see his wife and stepson and check on their progress. He hauled himself out of bed, picked up the wrinkled suit from the day before, grabbing a hanger from Amanda's closet to hang it on and hung it on the door handle of the closet. He knew Amanda would hate it if he left her bedroom a mess. He then made the bed before rummaging through his overnight bag to find a change of clothes. He pulled out a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and laid them on the bed before jumping in the shower.
As he showered, he recalled how the rest of that evening had gone. They had indeed set a new record. After he'd reheated their dinner they talked about the case they had just wrapped up and Lee had told her how Harry and Christina wanted them to have dinner with them sometime and he told Amanda how Billy had dropped more hints in his office about them getting married and had make jokes about how big a heart attack the poor man would have it he'd found out they were already married with all the not-so-subtle hints he'd been giving Lee about it. After the dinner dishes had been washed, dried and put away at Amanda's insistence, they had cuddled together on the couch watching some mindless show about two divorced women sharing an apartment with their kids. He didn't remember much of the details of it, just that he had his wife in his arms. They'd gone to bed for the night after the show was over and had slowly made love one more time this time lying on their sides facing each other sharing long slow kisses and whispering words of love to one another until they both fell into and exhausted sleep.
Lee finished his shower, dried his hair and dressed quickly before returning to the bathroom to blow-dry his hair. He chuckled a little as he recalled that Amanda was bugged by him singing while drying his hair. Thinking back to the events of the day they'd made up from that fight that had been caused by little things like that, he couldn't help but wonder which time was the magic one in which they had created their baby. Was it the first one? the second? The shower? The living room floor? Or was it the last one? He knew he'd never know, but still couldn't help but wonder.
Lee finished drying his hair and walked back to the bedroom to retrieve his watch where he'd tossed it on the nightstand the night before wondering what he was going to say to Amanda to stress to her the importance of letting everyone in on their secret. As he thought this, the words of the song his co-workers taunted him with popped into his head. I'm gonna take you by surprise and make you realize, Amanda Boy, did that fit how he felt right now. I'm gonna tell you right away, I can't wait another day, Amanda. That part was definitely true. He didn't want to wait another day. He'd heard the song before and had always felt that it perfectly fit how he felt when he first told Amanda he loved her and that was what the song was really about but today he found new meaning in the lyrics of the chorus. I'm gonna say it like a man and make you understand, Amanda. That was the key right there, saying it like a man and making her understand. He hoped that would be enough.