Phryne wakes first this time stretching with catlike movements. Tucking a pillow under her head she watches Jack sleep, relishing the relaxed, youthful boyishness on his normally chiseled features. She takes these private moments to admire his body. Even with all the scars from his knife wounds he is still the most gorgeous man she has ever seen and she sees his scars as badges of honor; the price of his determination to make Melbourne a safer place to live and his concern for others that lead him into dangerous situations. She tingles as she thinks of what a lover he has proved to be. She knew his passions ran deep, but she hadn't expected this - such a delightful surprise. As she thinks back over the last days and the time when she didn't know if Jack would live or die she is both thrilled and contemplative.
These have been most exciting days and she isn't sure she can love Jack more than she does now and the thought that she nearly missed out on him because of her stubbornness and fear, well she doesn't want to think. She shudders slightly thankful that she got there in the end and a bit sad that it took such an experience to bring her to her senses. I am definitely not the marrying kind she acknowledges, but then Jack Robinson isn't just any kind of man. How did he slip past my defenses?, Case by case she recognizes, matching wits, challenging me, befriending me, saving me all the while determined to do the noble thing even if he wanted something very different. She smiles slightly at his sleeping form, his soft snores and the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest soothing her and igniting her desire to love him at the same time. Phryne gently strokes her fingers along his body, feeling his strong muscles beneath them her desire to wake him growing with every touch. She wonders if they will have time to make love again. She observes that he is already responding to her even though he is still asleep. She chuckles silently reflecting that her husband might be as insatiable she. How fun that will be she thinks a smile lighting her face. Unable to resist the temptation Phryne moves stealthily down to love him with her mouth.
Jack wakes enjoying her touch for a bit then he deftly rolls her over pinning her beneath him capturing her small hands in his larger one holding them over her head. "You are mine," he murmurs a growl in his deep voice, "all mine," all the while using his other hand to stroke softly from her temple down her side to her thigh. Phryne sucks in a breath and waits for the fear that normally fills her at such a statement, the sense of entrapment, the memories of Rene Dubois filling her mind, but his shadowy specter doesn't come.
Phryne marvels at this her violet eyes seeking Jack's lighter blue ones. She wraps her legs around his slim hips, her serious eyes locking on his and arching against him she says quietly, her eyes not leaving his, "Mine, all mine." Jack is completely undone. He presses frantic kisses to her lips and wanting to be completely hers proceeds to make that happen. Jack collapses beside her words of endearment falling from his mouth, "love you my Phryne," he says kissing her over and over. As he calms he can hear Phryne's gentle words, "I love you Jack," coming between his kisses. Suddenly they are laughing together.
Jack brushes Phryne's hair back from her face loving the look of satisfaction he sees there, her eyes soft and dreamy, her lips swollen from their lovemaking, her neck and chest rosy pink. He nips playfully at her neck, "I think we need another bath Mrs. Robinson." "Indeed Inspector, I am continually impressed with your observational skills," she responds her teeth grazing along his shoulder marking him as hers, "Jack, I fear you are no longer a single pillar of restraint," she sighs dramatically. "A strumpet's fool am I?" he asks in mock incredulity. "If you say so Inspector," she sniggers slapping his bottom playfully, "Let's get a move on Jack. The sooner we do the sooner we can return to more restful activities," she giggles merrily at him. "Very well then my strumpet," Jack gives her a delighted half grin kissing her very thoroughly before rolling off of her and moving to the bathroom.
They bathe together again washing each other tenderly and relaxing together in the warm water. The moment is broken by the loud growling of their stomachs. "Jack, I'm starving, let's eat," Phryne says with a laugh. Jack nods, "I am very hungry as well," he says with a grin, "I guess we shouldn't be surprised. We have been rather busy." Jack leaves the tub and towels off, pulling on a soft thick robe before leaving to order food.
Phryne quickly washes her hair and gets out of the tub to put on makeup. She slips into a robe and towels her wet hair to remove most of the water before she does anything else. Then as she is opening her bag to get her makeup, a round black case brushes her hand. She becomes completely motionless a look of shock on her face. She opens the case, there sits her diaphragm as she knew it would be when she first felt the case brush her hand. Tears sting her eyes. How did this happen? She never forgets her diaphragm, not even when she drinks too much. What does this mean? Her shock is palpable and she can't stop the tears now; they pour down her cheeks. She slides down to sit on the floor overcome by her emotions. She hears room service come, and Jack calling her but she can't move.
"Phryne?" Jack calls coming into the bathroom. He takes in the tears falling down her face and comes immediately to her side. "What's wrong?" he asks gently concern lacing his voice as he kneels beside her to look into her eyes. She raises her eyes to his in mute horror. What will he think? "Phryne," he asks tenderly taking her hand in his blanching at how cold it is, "are you regretting allowing me to tie you down?" his voice holds an edge of fear his blue eyes uncertain. She looks at him her eyes wide with fear and shock her voice quavering, "No Jack, it isn't that exactly." Jack is growing really concerned now, but waits patiently sensing he needs to be quiet. "I, I f-forgot my, my d-diaphragm," her voice breaking with the admission. "We, all those t-times we m-made love, all th-those times I l-let you..." hiccupping she trails off tears leaking down her face again. Jack says nothing. Sensing she is in shock, he scoops her small frame up into his arms and takes her to the living area sitting down with her in his lap and just holding her his mind racing realizing with a jolt that his child could be growing in her right now.
He loves the idea of a baby he realizes, but wisely says not a word. He holds her as she cries understanding that the idea is overwhelming to her. She acquiesced to marrying him knowing he wouldn't have her any other way and loving him enough to sacrifice her freedom, for no matter how much freedom he allows her, she is still a married woman. She can no longer take a man any time she fancies; he has forced her into monogamy. She can no longer only think about herself. Jack makes soft soothing noises telling her he loves her desperately, softly stroking her wet hair and rubbing her back as she sobs, "I love you Phryne. You are going to be ok. We will get through this. I love you so my darling, don't cry". They sit this way a long time until finally her sobbing ceases and she lies hiccupping against him, sniffing from time to time her body quivering violently. She finally speaks her voice shaking uncontrollably, "Are you angry with me Jack? What if I'm pregnant? I will be a horrible mother. I could never abort your child Jack, but I am so frightened that the thought is crossing my mind. I can't believe I forgot my diaphragm. I have never once forgotten it. What will we do? You must hate me right now. I am not sure I can be married much less a parent."
She falls silent more tears streaming from her eyes to track down her cheeks. She is small and vulnerable something few see as she keeps the walls built up and keeps most at arm's length. He continues to stroke her making strong yet gentle circles on her back. "Phryne look at me please," he implores quietly. She raises her tortured eyes to his, her anguish evident. "Answer some questions for me please," he says his voice calm and pitched low. She sees his gentle look and nods. He takes a breath softly asking his voice husky, "Do you believe I love you?" She gazes into his eyes thinking back over the course of their relationship, a myriad of emotions flickering across her face. His eyes never leave hers; his comforting touch continues to soothe her. In light of all the evidence she says in a low broken voice, "Yes, I believe you love me." Jack asks the next question his voice still pitched to be soothing, "What did I tell you about children when you asked me about babes of my own?" Phryne answers softly but promptly, "That you were never blessed."
Jack continues the questions, "Why do you think I had a word to Welfare about you fostering Jane?" "I don't know. I thought you were completely against the idea at the time," she responds in a whisper her voice tight with the effort to control it. "I did it because of how you took her in, protecting her and treating her as your own child from day one." He continues, "I remember when I asked for your help and when you saw her you said No, I don't do children, especially uncooperative ones. And when I said it was off to Welfare, you said we both know that won't help, and even though you don't do children you kidnapped my suspect because you had her best interests at heart from that first moment." He pauses to gather his thoughts treading carefully, "Darling do you think the same caring and eventual love that took in a street urchin won't translate to a child our love creates?"
Phryne has no answer for this, but she drops her head no longer looking at him, her body continuing to shake. Jack continues his voice breaking slightly, "How could I be angry with you for carrying my child? I would consider that sacrifice by you to be the ultimate expression of your love for me." He stops talking for a moment swallowing hard, "Phryne, I understand you are frightened and that this will be a game change from what you think you signed up for in agreeing to marry me. I know you never wanted marriage, but I give you my solemn word that I will do my best to be a husband you don't regret, and Phryne," his deep bass voice breaks overcome by emotion himself, "if, if you want me to let you go, I will. My heart may not survive it, but on my honor, I will free you if that is what you decide you want or need."
Phryne looks up to see tears in his shadowed eyes as he makes this pledge to her. She knows it cost him a great deal to say those words, but she also appreciates he is a man of honor and he means every word. "Thank you Jack," she says softly her voice grateful for his understanding. She places a hand on his cheek looking slightly less afraid, her thumb rubbing gently across his lips. He kisses her allowing his tears to leak down his face as he deepens the kiss. The kiss is bittersweet neither knowing for sure what is going to happen next and it is salty and wet from the tears they shed, but Jack deepens the kiss determining that he will fight for her and that she will know he cherishes her to the end. When they are both breathless and he can't hide his body's response to her nearness, the robe doesn't hide much he realizes ruefully, he forces himself to stop kissing her and whispers, "I love you, always my darling, but I have some more questions." She nods, "Ok Jack."
"Do you believe I am your friend?" he asks her holding her face in his hands his thumbs brushing across her cheeks wiping her tears away. She nods staring mutely at him, her blue eyes swollen from her crying. "Do you believe we are true partners," he asks, "partners in life as well as crime solving?" This time she searches his gaze looking into his soul, her expression very serious searching for any sign of deception. "Yes," she whispers burying her face in his neck, breathing in his scent, feeling calmer. "Do you think we will be any less partners where children are concerned?" he asks lifting her chin to look into her eyes searching her soul for reaction to his words.
Many expressions flit across her face, but her eyes do not waiver from his as she lets him see her fear giving way to belief. She shakes her head slowly her voice still thick with emotion, "No." Jack looks down into her eyes again kissing her tear streaked face softly and then placing an even softer more delicate kiss on her lips before saying earnestly, "Phryne if you are pregnant, I will walk every single step with you. I promise to let you continue to work cases if you like – even murders, as long as Dr. Mac says it is acceptable," he pauses and then says in a shaky broken voice, "and if, if you really don't wa-want to be a mother when the time c-comes, we will give the baby away to some- someone else who really wants a child. Wills and Nora would take our baby I am certain, he or she could grow up with our new niece or nephew. We would be assured the baby would be thoroughly loved and cared for though that might be difficult for us during family gatherings. It is also possible they have friends who would love our baby. I am sure we could work things out so that they wouldn't know the baby is ours. Babies are often left at or close to the station."
Phryne draws in a sharp breath and raises her eyes to search his. She finds only sincerity and deep love in the blue eyes looking back at her. She ventures an opinion, "I don't deserve you Inspector." Jack places soft kisses along her jaw, "I think that is my line Phryne. I am blessed to call you my wife. So blessed you walked into my crime scene at the Andrews. I am so grateful you didn't' take no for an answer when I tried to push you away." He holds her quietly for a few moments rhythmically stroking her back feeling her trembling hoping she will begin to calm.
"Do you know what I think?" he asks her his voice a low rumble. She shakes her head in the negative looking up at him for his thoughts. "I think you forgot the diaphragm because your heart knows what you really want and that your mind needs time to catch up. A lot has happened to you, to us in the last few months. We have been on the emotional equivalent of the Great Scenic Railway." She ponders this and can see potential truth in the statement. Feeling it is time for absolute honesty she says very softly, "I am afraid." She gulps burying her face in his neck again. "What if I lose our child like I lost Janey? I lost her, Jack." She begins to sob again, "I couldn't bear it."
With this admission from Phryne so many things click into place for Jack. He remembers her confession to him after going undercover at the circus, when the memories she suppressed came crashing back to haunt her. Jack really has no words. What can he say to her? He has already told her it wasn't her fault and that he finds her not guilty. He does the only thing he can think of to comfort her. He carries her to their bed and loves her. Holding her close, giving her as much skin to skin contact as he can whispering his adoration into her ear, pulling the covers over them hoping to ease her shaking with additional warmth. He holds Phryne there under the covers her sobbing continuing for what seems like hours before her crying slows and then finally quiets and her shaking eases and she begins responding to Jack's careful attentions.
She puts her arms around him holding him as close as he held her, covering him with kisses, tracing his scars with her fingers and lips. Eventually she takes his face in her dainty hands murmuring to him her voice rough from her crying, "Love me please Jack, no diaphragm, my deliberate decision this time. You are my choice Jack. I love you. I choose your child, our child. I am your partner for life and no matter what happens you have me on your team." Even more softly she whispers, "I am ready to move out of the shadows with you." Phryne kisses him then her lips as delicate as a flower petal against his. Jack, his eyes glittering with unshed tears rolls her onto her back looking deeply into her eyes for long moments seeking assurance finally speaking, "You are certain? I'm willing to wait."
Her gaze doesn't waiver and she nods, "I'm sure Jack." With her assurance Jack begins making very slow, very deliberate love to her. This union is filled with their belief that the past will no longer keep them in the shadows; that together they can move forward into the light. They hold each other after, snuggling together face to face, not talking, sharing occasional kisses; each of them thinking about what has transpired. Jack provides soothing, calming touches as they rest, Phryne feels the beat of his heart under her fingers and both of them wonder if a baby will be the result of their first night of marriage. Phryne eventually dozes off her emotional exhaustion winning over any other thoughts. She turns over to press her back against him tucking her hands under her cheek. Jack gathers her close his body curling protectively around her, his arm resting across her waist his hand splayed tenderly across her stomach and he too gives in to the tug of sleep.
Jack wakes and pushing up on his elbow he watches Phryne sleeping. Even with her tear stained face and swollen eyes she is still beautiful to him, all the more so for the revelations they shared today. He can't help but think of The Song of Songs, "There is no flaw in you my love". He knows that the shadows will try to encroach again, and he plans to be there with Phryne shining a light for her as he knows she will for him. He notes that her hand has moved down to rest on her stomach. He smiles softly allowing his mind to stray to thoughts of a girl her braids tied with blue ribbons her hand held in his and a boy learning to ride a bicycle, shrieking with delight, "Again Daddy". Time will tell if these daydreams come to fruition. In the meantime Jack is very glad he booked a second night at the Windsor. He doesn't believe Phryne is ready to continue on to Gippsland yet. For one thing, they still haven't eaten!
The End