Dotty's stood staring at the agency IDs being held up in front of her for a moment before snatching Amanda's from her hand to examine it more closely. There was no mistaking it. The ID portion had her daughter's picture on it, her name below the photo and her signature at the bottom in her familiar handwriting. "Is this some kind of a joke?"Dotty said incredulously.
"No, it's no joke," Lee answered. "In fact, it's deadly serious."
"Emphasis on the deadly," Amanda said. "That's why we've kept this from you."
"How long has this been going on really?"Dotty inquired still staring at her daughter's badge.
"Why don't we sit down and we'll explain everything. Give you the answers you want," Lee suggested. "I seem to recall someone promising us dinner while we talk," he said smiling at Dotty hoping to ease the tension a little.
"Right," Dotty said finally relinquishing her daughter's badge and handing it back to her.
The three of them worked in silence to set the table in the kitchen, not feeling the need to use the dining room table since it was just the three of them. They settled in at the table and began to eat in an awkward silence, none of them sure how to begin the long-overdue conversation. Lee was the first to break the stalemate. "This stew is delicious, Dotty," He said with an lopsided smile. "My compliments to the chef."
"Don't you suck up to me, Lee Stetson! You may be cute and charming, but I'm still mad at you! You promised me answers and I want those answers."
"I know," Lee said with a sigh.
"Where do you think we should start?"Amanda said glancing at her husband.
"Train station?"Lee suggested. "That's where this all got started."
"So, you two didn't meet at IFF?"Dotty questioned then realized how stupid that sounded given the new knowledge she had and corrected herself before either of them could say a word. "Of course you didn't. You don't even really work for IFF."
"No, Mother, we really do," Amanda said.
"Amanda, don't lie to me again. It's quite obvious from the badge that you showed me that you don't and that you never did."
"She's not lying, Dotty," Lee said. "If you look at our paychecks or W-2s any of our personnel documents, you'll see IFF listed as the name of our employer. We really do work for IFF, just not making films."
"Clearly," Dotty said.
"Mother, IFF is a cover, a front, a disguise for what really goes on there. If it were public knowledge that the building we work in were actually the home of a covert government intelligence agency we'd be under attack at the office on a regular basis and never be able to get any real work done."
"So, this assignment you've got tomorrow..."
"Not a documentary," Lee said. "It's an undercover assignment. We really can't say much more than that due to the sensitive nature of our work."
"That is not an acceptable answer! You've both been lying to me for four years and I need more than "we can't say!" she said her ire rising again.
Lee started to say something, but Amanda, sensing that he was about to lose his cool too, stopped him with a calming hand on his arm. "It's ok, Sweetheart." Lee smiled at her placing his hand over hers and squeezing it gently. Amanda turned to her mother and said, "We'll tell you as much as we can without jeopardizing national security, but it's best to start at the beginning."
"Ok," Dotty said.
Amanda launched into the story of how they met, the train station, the man in the red hat, the package. She told her mother every detail that she could leading up to the arrest of Mrs. Welch.
"After that, Billy was so impressed with her work, that he offered her a job as civilian auxiliary to help me out with my cases," Lee explained. "That was four years ago."
"Billy?"she said turning that name over in her mind. "Billy," she said again. "Billy as in the nickname for William, as in William Melrose?" she said the pieces suddenly started to fit together. "You work with him?"
"Actually, we work for him," Amanda clarified. "He's our supervisor and a good friend."
"And that Miss Desmond?"
"Billy's administrative assistant and a damn good friend herself."
"Is she's such a good friend, then what was that conversation last night all about? She didn't seem like much of a friend when she called you, what was it? A vile manipulator."
"That was her trying to be Amanda's friend. I told you that Francine and I used to date. Well, she's not the only one. I have a bit of a past with women, a past that I'm not particularly proud of and since she's part of that past and is all too aware to the bad reputation I built for myself, she was concerned for Amanda. That she'd become just another piece of my colorful past."
"I see," Dotty said.
"The thing is my past is my past. It's done and over with. Ever since Amanda and I got together, I realized how empty that life I used to live is and I can't ever go back to that lifestyle. I don't want to. Francine has had a little trouble accepting that I'm not the playboy I used to be. No matter what she thinks of me in that regard though, I know that she's still a friend and that she will always have my back, just like my amazing partner here," He said with a smile at Amanda.
"So, Amanda," Dotty said. "All those times you came home with your clothes torn or stained or the car in a million pieces..."
"Hazards of the job," Amanda said succinctly.
"Your amnesia?"Amanda nodded. "You following me when I dated Dr. Zernov?" Amanda nodded again. Dotty sat a moment processing information and it struck her that Joe had said that he'd found out without wanting to when he'd come back from Estoccia. "Joe's trouble?" Amanda nodded. "The destroyed hair salon?"
"Yes, all of those were Agency-related," Amanda said.
"Oh, God, Your shooting!"Dotty cried in horror. "That's what you meant when you said it was deadly."
"No, Dotty," Lee said. "Oddly enough, the one time that Amanda came that close to dying, we weren't even working. We were on our honeymoon and just ended up in the wrong place at the wrong time. We'd only been married a day when it happened."
"No wonder you were so nervous, so scared."
"I remember you being pretty scared yourself."
"But you, you were about to see your marriage end before it even began. That must have been devastating for you."
"I almost told you the truth in the hospital. I wanted to so badly that day that Amanda's heart stopped. I just kept thinking that if the doctors weren't able to revive her and she had died, no one would ever know that she'd been my wife."
"What stopped you?"
"You. When I put my arms around you, the way that you were shaking, the look of pure terror on your face, I knew that I couldn't do it. It wasn't the right time. It would have been too much to add to your already existing stress."
"Well, I wish you had told me the truth then. We wouldn't be having this conversation now if you had. I think I could have handled it a few days into your marriage better than a few months."
"What we told you earlier was still the truth," Amanda said. "We really did want to ease you and the boys into our relationship and not let on how serious it was right away, mostly to give the boys time to adjust to having a new man in my life, in their lives."
"So, Lee, there's something that I don't understand about that day you came to the house and finally introduced yourself to me. You told me that Amanda would be gone at least another day, but now that I know the truth that makes me wonder why you weren't with her if you're partners. I mean, I even commented on it that day that when she goes out of town, she's usually with you, but of course, I didn't know then what I did now. So, what was going on that you weren't together?"
Lee shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "Dotty...Um..."
Amanda once again laid her hand on his arm and said, "I've got this one." She took a deep breath before, saying, "The reason that we weren't together is because I was being held hostage and tortured by a terrorist."
"Oh, Amanda," Dotty gasped.
"I'm fine, Mother, he didn't really hurt me."
"Are you kidding me, Amanda?" Lee said in outrage. "He pumped you full of hypnotic drugs, deprived you of sleep and food, not to mention the bruises from him slapping you around like a rag doll. You had nightmares for a solid week after that!"
"Lee," She said in a warning tone.
"I'm sorry, Amanda, but if we're going to be truly honest with your mother, we need to stop sugar-coating things. She needs to know how dangerous this job can be. Maybe then she can understand why we kept the secrets that we did."
"He's right, Amanda," Dotty said. "I demanded the truth from you and that's exactly what I want, no matter how painful it is."
"Mother, there are things that you shouldn't have to know about?"Amanda said as she reached across the table for her mother's hand.
Dotty yanked her hand away from her daughter and said, "Stop it, Amanda! Stop trying to protect me from whatever it is you think you're protecting me from! When are you going to learn? I'm and adult! I can handle whatever truth you tell me, no matter what it is. Just start telling some."
"It was awful, ok! I was scared out of my mind! I was terrified I was never going to see you or my children again! He was going to sell me to the Libyans when I couldn't give him the information he wanted. I kept trying to be brave and kept trying to tell myself that Lee would get there to rescue me, but the longer I was there the more helpless I felt," By the time Amanda finished, she had tears pouring down her face.
Lee wrapped his arms around her and she buried her face in his chest sobbing."Shhh, Amanda," he said as he pulled her into his lap and held her as she trembled in his arms, "Oh, sweetheart, don't cry, you're safe now, I did come for you, remember?" He kissed the top of her head as he stroked her hair with one hand and her back with the other to comfort her. "I will always come for you. Always." While this was going on, Dotty couldn't help but tear up a little herself, not only at how much her daughter had been through, but it really struck her how deeply Lee cared for her and how good he was to her.
When the shaking subsided and her sobs had ebbed, Amanda raised her head looking into her husband's eyes and softly said, "I love you."
"And I love you,' He said as he brushed the remnants of her tears away and softly kissed her.
"I must look a mess," she said with a soft chuckle.
"Uh-uh," Lee said. "You're beautiful."
'Well, you're kinda' biased. I think I'd better go clean myself up," she said as she kissed him lightly before heading to the kitchen sink to splash water on her face.
When Lee looked across the table at her mother-in-law, he saw that she had tears in her eyes as well. "Are you ok?" he asked her.
Dotty nodded and said, "I just can't believe my baby girl has been through so much and I never even had a clue. She kept it all to herself and put on such a brave face. That's why you came back a few days after that first time you visited to tell me she'd be gone longer?"
"Yeah," Lee said.
"Was she a hostage that whole time?"
"No, she was with me at my place for a week after we got her out of there. I knew from experience, having been in that situation before myself, that she'd need time to heal before she could face you and the boys again. I knew she'd probably have nightmares that you wouldn't be able to deal with. She'd need someone who's been there."
"You know, it just occurred to me that that was the longest stretch of time that we were ever able to sleep in the same bed and fall asleep in each other's arms," Amanda said as she sat back down next to her husband who draped his arm across her shoulders. When Dotty gave her an inquisitive look, "Don't give me that look, Mother, there was nothing sexual about it."
Dotty gave her another look and said, "So, after an ordeal like that, you just felt comfortable sleeping next to Lee?"
" Ok, Ok, it wasn't the first time I'd slept in his bed, that's why I felt comfortable, but that's not what I was there for. It was like Lee said, I needed healing and having him there to hold me when I woke up from a nightmare was just what I needed. Somehow he always knows what I need," She said with a smile at Lee as she reflected on their lovemaking that afternoon. Lee took in that smile, knowing exactly what it meant. He blushed slightly for the thoughts he was having with her mother sitting right there.
Lee and Amanda's silent interaction was not lost on Dotty. "So, that explains why it took you two hours to pack and get back here, doesn't it?"She said with a knowing grin. "I thought that was kind of strange when Lee only lives a 10-15 minute drive away."
"What?"Lee said a little startled.
"Let's just say we took a little detour from packing..."Amanda said with a sultry smile at Lee and added, "...twice."
Lee blushed furiously at Amanda's candidness in front of her mother. "Now, Amanda, cone on. Let's not give away all our secrets, huh?"
"Well, I just thought it my help my mother to accept our marriage if she knows that I have a men who makes me very, very happy."
"Ok, first of all," Dotty said glancing at Lee, "The two of you are having a child together so it's not like I don't already know that you have a physical relationship and second," she said turning to Amanda, "I never said that I have a problem accepting your marriage, it's the secrecy of it that I have a problem with."
"So, you're ok with me being your son-in-law?" Lee said.
"Of course, Lee. I realized the first time that I saw you and Amanda together that she was crazy in love with you even thought she didn't tell me about it," Dotty said with a glare at her daughter.
"Have I mentioned that I'm sorry?" Amanda said.
"I understand, Amanda. Really, I do," she said reaching for her daughter's hand. "I can't believe that you've basically been living three lives all this time and it hasn't made you crazy. I was just so angry, I didn't see how rough this has been on you."
"You mean, you're not angry anymore?"
"No, but I won't say that I'm not still disappointed that I didn't get to be there for your wedding."
"That reminds me," Amanda said as she released her mother's hand and headed to the den to the couch where she had tossed her purse containing the wedding photos. She headed back to the table with them handing them to her mother. "I thought you might like to see these."
"Oh," Dotty said as she flipped through the pictures. "You looked so beautiful and so happy."
"We were both pretty happy that day," Lee said as he again draped his arm across her shoulder and kissed the top of her head.
"Thank you, Amanda," Dotty said. "It's getting late an it's been a long day. I think should save the rest of my questions for another time. You two should get to bed, Amanda needs her rest, especially if you're going to be working on some undercover assignment for the next five days."
"Mother, we can't leave you with this mess," Amanda protested.
"No, I've got this. You should be able to spend at least one uninterrupted night sleeping next to your husband before you start whatever this big case is. I need some time to think anyway. You know how I am, Amanda. Doing housework helps me focus my thoughts."
"I'm sure, Darling, now go," she said as she kissed her daughter's cheek. She then turned to Lee and did the same. "Thank you, Lee for loving my daughter."
Lee was pleasantly surprised by this gesture. He turned to his wife smiling. "Shall we, Mrs. Stetson," He said as he rose from hid chair and held out his hand to her.
"Absolutely, Mr. Stetson," She replied taking his hand.
Dotty sighed as she felt a lot of the tension of the day drain as she watched them ascend the stairs together, smiling at the knowledge that her daughter was finally happy.
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About an hour or so later, Lee descended the stairs alone wearing only a pair of pajama pants and was surprised to find the kitchen light still on. Dotty was sitting on one of the stools at the island gazing once again at the wedding photos.
"Can't sleep?" He said startling her.
Dotty started. "Oh, Lee, I didn't hear you come down here."
"Sorry, didn't mean to startle you. Fourteen years in the intelligence community has taught me how to be quiet."
"What are you still doing up or should I even ask?" she said with a smirk. Lee blushed a little at the knowing smile on Dotty's face. "Oh, don't be embarrassed, Lee. That's why I stayed down here. I thought you and Amanda could use some privacy and since my room is right next to Amanda's..."
"Oh," he said. He shifted a little uncomfortably as he noticed that Dotty was staring at his bare chest. He glanced down and said, "I'm sorry if this is making you uncomfortable. If I'd known you'd be down here, I'd have put a shirt on. I only came down here because Amanda asked me to get her a glass of milk and her prenatal vitamins. She forgot to take them earlier with everything that was going on." He reached across the counter for the prescription bag that had been left there earlier.
"You're not making me uncomfortable, Lee. It's not like I haven't seen a half-naked man before. I'm sorry for staring. I just couldn't help noticing your scars."
Lee extracted the pill bottle before turning his back to Dotty to get the milk out of the refrigerator."Oh, occupational hazard," he said. When he turned, Dotty couldn't help but notices that scar on his left shoulder went all the way through to his back.
"I see," Dotty said as Lee pulled a glass out of the cupboard and filled it with milk for his wife. "Do you feel like talking about it?"
Lee sighed, returned the milk to the refrigerator and turned back to face Dotty. "Do you think it would help you come to terms with this to know?"
"Well, You were telling me earlier that the whole reason for your secrecy was the danger involved in your work, so it might."
"Ok, This one," he said gesturing to the scar on his right side just below his ribs "is the most recent one. It happened a few days before our wedding. I was tracking down an old acquaintance of mine who'd previously been busted for selling secrets and he had a penchant for also messing around with married women. I got caught on the wrong end of a jealous husband's gun."
"We had to get a little inventive on our wedding night to work around that," Amanda said with a laugh from the bottom of the stairs. "Didn't we?"she said as wrapped her arms around her husband from behind.
"Amanda," He said with an backward glance.
"What about that one on your left shoulder? That one goes all the way through doesn't it?"
"Yeah," he said.
"This one?" Amanda said lightly touching it with her finger before placing a soft to the puckered skin there. She spotted the glass of milk Lee had poured for her and released her husband to retrieve it and take her vitamins. "That's leftover from the crazy actor three years ago who thought he was a spy just because he used to play one on TV. He tried to slice you up like a Christmas ham."
"You were involved in that?"Dotty asked.
"Yes, she was," Lee said. "He not only stabbed me. If you recall, Amanda, he also tried to blow you to bits."
"Yeah, but you saved me from that."
"Just like you saved me from this one" Lee said pointing to the one on the opposite shoulder "And got me the medical attention I needed."
"I remember. Christmas Eve, three years ago."
"I don't know how I feel about all this," Dotty said. "The danger."
"Honestly, Mother," Amanda said. "While it can get dangerous, we're not in danger every day. A lot of it ends up being boring stakeouts, surveillance jobs, interviews, not the stuff you see in James Bond movies."
"Don't forget long hours doing endless, mind-numbing paperwork. The main concern is for the times that it does get dangerous, like the hostage situation we were telling about earlier. The guy that took her did it to get to me. It wasn't about her at all. Something like that could happen to Phillip or Jamie or you."
"It's been hard, Mother. Harder than I ever imagined it would be for us to be married, but living apart."
"Amanda, that's the thing I don't get at all," Dotty said. "You should have known it wouldn't work. That's exactly why your marriage to Joe fell apart. You were married, but living separate lives.. What on earth made you think you could make that work a second time when it didn't work the first time?"
"I didn't think it would be as bad since Lee and I at least see each other at work every day."
"But then work started becoming torture, being together, but not being able to really be together, trying to pretend to our co-workers that we're not in love," Lee said. "That's why I blew up at the office the other day. I just couldn't take it anymore, not being able to live any semblance of a normal life with my wife," he said as he wrapped his arms around Amanda and she leaned into him.
"I think I understand," Dotty said. "I think I've had enough of this for one day. I'm going to go to bed and I suggest you two do the same. You need to get some sleep if you're going to be alert to do whatever investigating you need to do for your secret mission tomorrow."
"Yeah, you tend to get killed less often that way," Amanda said with a smile at her husband recalling the first time she'd seen his chest bare like it was now. Lee laughed at this and remember how uncomfortable she'd been at the prospect of spending the night with him. How times had changed.
"Is that supposed to be funny?"Dotty said.
"Just a private joke, Mother," she said. "Like Lee said earlier, we can't give away all our secrets." Amanda took lee by the hand and led him toward the stairs. "Good-night, Mother."
"Good-night," Dotty said watching them until they were out of sight. She picked up Amanda's empty milk glass and rinsed it out in the sink before heading to be herself secure that she'd sleep better than she had in years knowing that her daughter was no longer lying to her.