Chapter Three
Flashback
Alex stirred awake, she was tired. Albeit from the best night she'd had in a while. She glanced at the blonde who lay beside her. Piper Chapman. A slight smile tugged at Alex's lips. Chapman was unaware of how devastatingly adorable she was. Alex studied the sleeping beauty, she caressed her cheek. Piper leant in to her touch. Alex pulled her hand away. A slight pang of guilt in her gut. She had played Piper like a harp.
Alex had charm and it always got her what she wanted. She had the god-given talent of figuring people out and understanding what made them tick. Waking up beside Piper was her intention from the moment she set eyes on the naive blonde in the bar. She just hadn't expected to feel so alive with her. But old habits die hard, and just like clockwork her eyes shot to the door. The same way they always did after a one night stand. She slowly climbed out of the bed, doing her best not to wake Piper. She pulled her clothes on, but couldn't help but glance back at Piper. Fully dressed, she headed toward the door. Few things felt as good as sneaking out after a one night stand, in Alex's books. Today felt different. And she couldn't peg why.
"Mmm..." Piper murmured, stirring from her slumber. Alex's finger tips grazed the door handle. For the first time, being in the same place with somebody else made perfect sense. It felt out of sync to go anywhere else. Alex turned and looked at Piper Chapman, taking in the sight of the first person to truly capture her heart. As her feet led her back towards the bed, Alex silently sat on the edge of the luxurious mattress. She ran a hand along Piper's bare shoulder. Piper groggily awoke.
"...Morning..." Piper muttered, equally exhausted from the night they had spent entangled in each other. Piper pulled the duvet up around her. She was effortlessly graceful. Soft. Alex couldn't help but gaze at her. No hesitation, no concern about coming across like a maniac. She let her eyes rest on Piper.
"That... was a good night." Piper declared gently.
"It was." Alex said in a low voice, making no secret of being lost in thought.
Piper frowned, "You going someplace?"
"To buy us some breakfast. How do pancakes sound?"
"Amazing. They sound amazing."
Alex headed for the door, her new objective was to bring pancakes.
"Hey, if you could be anywhere right now, where would you be?" Alex asked.
"Right here with you." Piper said.
That was all Alex needed to hear.
"I'll bring some maple syrup too." Alex said, as she pulled the door open.
Piper raised an eyebrow.
"For the pancakes!" Alex laughed, as she shut the door. Piper stifled a yawn, and clung to the duvet. An easy smile sat on her face. She felt at such ease with a stranger she'd only known for one night. She knew it wasn't smart, but she also knew she'd never felt more at peace in life, than she felt right now. With Alex
Parker lay on her bunk, she unfolded the note from the mute, 'Welcome to Litchfield '. Parker screwed up the note and tossed it aside. It was a sweet gesture, but sweet gestures only mattered to people who were soft enough to care. And the one thing Parker wasn't, was soft.
"I hear you're after the kitchen." A thick Russian accent spoke. Parker sat up and peered at the short, medium built, woman with short red hair.
"I can help you get it."
"Why would you do that?" Parker asked.
"Let's just say, I have a score to settle with Gloria." Red said with a sinister smirk, "But you must do exactly as I say. One misstep and you're finished."
"You don't scare me." Parker said.
Red held her gaze, "It wasn't a threat. It was a heads up."
"I don't need your help." Parker said, looking down her nose at Red.
"Oh, you will. And when you do, you know where to find me."
With that, Red walked off. Parker watched her go.
Morello put the phone down. She walked silently back to her bunk, absent-mindedly brushing past fellow inmates as she moved. She sat on the bed as the news sunk in. It felt like something inside her had broken. Something that couldn't be fixed... Her eyes scanned the hoards of inmates. She fought back tears, and drew her knees upto her chin. She sat utterly still.
Piper snuck into her room, Morello didn't even notice her. Piper peered over the edge of Morello's wall, and out at Pennastucky who was laughing and joking with Leanne and the others in her group. Her face was bandaged, and her eye bright purple and puffy. Piper's handiwork. Now and then, Pennastucky would cast a glance in Piper's direction, and then continue talking to her groupies.
What did it mean?
"Oh my god. She's going to kill me. I am going to die." Piper said aloud, accepting the defeat. She noticed Morello hadn't moved, let alone spoken.
"Morello?"
"He gave up on me." Morello managed, after a beat. Her voice was softer than Piper was used to. Piper felt a pang of sympathy toward the New Yorker.
"I'm sorry, Lorna."
Tears slid down Morello's cheeks.
"He's been fucking my best friend." Morello said, "My best friend. Why aren't people loyal anymore Chapman? Why doesn't it mean any thing...It should MEAN something." Her voice shook. Piper pulled Morello into a comforting embrace. Morello caved in, letting her sobs erupt. Piper held her firmly. She did her best to help, and in typical fashion, failed.
"You did have sex with Nicky..."
Morello stopped sobbing abruptly. Piper's eyes widened with nerves, "But how dare he?!" She then uttered the one thing she had learnt in prison, "it doesn't count if it's with another woman. Right? What he did? That's messed up."
"I know, right?!" She returned to sobbing in Piper's arms. Piper spotted Caputo. There was only one thing on her mind, helping Alex.
Alex.
"Morello, I have to go, but I'll be back in ten minutes, okay?"
Morello sniffled and nodded.
"Just... here." Piper handed her a box of tissues that sat nearby, "use those. Don't do anything stupid. Fuck it, we're in prison. Don't kill yourself. Okay?" Morello didn't respond, Piper spoke loudly, "OKAY?"
Morello nodded, "go, go. I'll still be here when you get back." A sudden burst of tragedy swept her up, "Crying like the fool I am!" She sobbed.
Piper gave her an odd but mildly alarmed look, and crept past Pennastucky's room and towards Caputo.
"Psst...!" She managed to whisper. Caputo stopped mid conversation with a CO and glanced at her. She whispered again, but urgently this time, "psst!"
Caputo caught her eye, she gave him a nod, then walked out of the main hall and into the lobby. Caputo followed, curious and concerned.
"What is it, Chapman?"
"I have a proposition for you."
Caputo studied her, "What kind of proposition?" He enquired.
"The kind that benefits us both." Piper answered.
Parker stepped out of the shower and wrapped herself up in a towel. As she headed over to the mirrors, she couldn't help but notice the number of women in the shower. They were all from the Spanish gang that existed in the prison. More of a group than a gang, but still a group who stuck together. It gave her the impression something wasn't quite right. She kept her wits about her. One brunette, with a tear drop tattoo beneath her left eye shoved past Parker. Then another shoved past her. Parker almost lost her footing. A third woman swung at her, but Parker blocked it then punched her hard in the face.
"Tell Gloria it'll take more than this to scare me off." Parker ordered. The women threw her a dirty look, then helped their fallen inmate to her feet and escorted her out of the bathroom.
Parker stood alone in the bathroom. The experience hadn't spooked her, but it had made her realise that in this place, it's not about how ruthless you are, it's about who you know. She would find the Russian and make a deal.
Two days had passed since Piper's talk with Caputo. And there was still no sign of Alex. Piper had spent the two days watching over Morello. Morello had barely eaten, and refused to see Nicky or even speak to anyone. They'd sat in silence for what felt like endless hours.
Nicky appeared in Piper's room. Piper didn't even have to wait for Nicky to speak, she knew what was coming. So she pre-empted it.
"She doesn't want to see you Nicky. I can't make her change her mind. I've tried to reason with her. But she's just... she's in the middle of agony right now."
Nicky sighed, "I don't like that she's hurting, Chapman."
"I know. Give her some time." Piper advised.
"No sign of Vause yet?"
"Nope." Piper said, sadly.
Pennastucky entered Piper's room, Nicky glanced at Piper, who threw her a panicked look.
Pennastucky cornered Piper, and held her gaze. She then extended a hand. Piper stared at her, astounded.
"Call it a truce for now, blondie." Pennastcuky's annoying voice was still just as annoying, despite the broken pride and bruised face.
Piper glanced at Nicky, who gave her a look. Piper gulped and shook Pennastucky's hand.
"Because... once I'm better. I'm gonna hit you stronger, faster and harder..."
"Easy kanye..." Nicky quipped. Pennastucky through Nicky a disgusted look. Then turned and walked out.
"Don't forget to change your bandages, Frankenstein." Nicky called after her. Piper elbowed Nicky.
"Can you just stop?" Piper demanded.
Nicky was distracted by somebody else, "No way...!" Nicky exclaimed as she leapt to her feet and hurried out of Piper's room. Piper followed Nicky out of the room, "No fucking way, Vause!" Nicky hugged Alex. Alex hugged her back. The sensation of another person against her was comforting. Piper stepped forward and smiled at Alex warmly. Alex stared right past her and went over to Tastyee, Red and Poussey.
Nicky cringed for Piper. Piper stood dumbfounded.
"Welcome back kiddo," Red said, giving Alex a firm hug and a pat on the back.
A moment later, Daya's furious footsteps approached. She shoved Piper into the wall, "Do you realise what the fuck you've done?!" Daya cried at Piper. "They're gonna transfer him!"
Piper looked to Alex for help, but Alex didn't move. Nicky helped Piper to her feet, but Daya shoved her again. Much to everyone's surprise, Parker stepped up and shoved Daya aside.
"Wait!" Piper exclaimed, after all Daya was pregnant. There was more than just Daya's life at risk in a prison scuffle.
"Back off've Chapman." Parker ordered. Piper stared on in a stunned silence. Daya glared at Piper.
"I hope you get what's coming to you, you selfish bitch." With that Daya stormed off. Diaz, Daya's mother threw Piper a disapproving look.
Piper turned back to look at Alex, but Alex wasn't there. She had simply turned around and walked away.
"Meet Parker," Red said to Piper and Nicky, "Consider her the hired muscle for my favourites."
"A bodyguard? You're the best mom ever." Nicky smirked. "Red, do me a favour, check in on Morello for me...?"
"No time, kid. Me and Parker got a kitchen to reclaim."
Parker and Red walked away. Nicky sighed. She cared for Morello, moreso than she'd allowed herself to care about any one. Now Morello was hurting, and Nicky couldn't check in on her.
Gloria walked across the lush green prison yard, "well?" She asked Red, without looking at her.
Red kept her eyes trained on the outside world through the fence. On the endless fields.
"Parker is in my pocket."
"What do we do next?"
"I need some time."
"For what?" Gloria persisted.
"Somebody is supplying my girls with drugs."
"They're 'our' girls now, Red. How can I help?"
"Keep an ear to the ground. No doubt Parker will sniff them out."
"Can we trust Parker?"
Red scoffed, "Absolutely not. But we can nail two birds with one chalk."
"Stone." Gloria corrected.
"chalk." Red repeated.
"You aren't making sense." Gloria grumbled, finding herself fed up of Red's roundabout hints.
"I don't need to make sense just yet. But you'll see. And when it happens, our girls will be safe. And the kitchen will be mine."
"Ours."
Red gave a stubborn sigh, "Ours." Gloria smirked to herself. Smug.
Alex settled onto the bed beside Morello.
"I'm sorry, Morello." She managed. Morello nodded. She glanced at Alex, "How was SHU?"
"It was...lonely." Alex said with a shrug, "mind-numbingly odd. Felt like a really bad nightmare. Sometimes reality feels too real, you know? You start to wonder how it all led to this point."
Morello nodded, "I know exactly what you mean."
"I'm sorry he broke your heart."
"Me too." Morello mustered.
Alex managed a bitter smile.
"Life's too short. You're better off alone, with the odd fling to keep you satisfied. No strings, nothing. Just two adults, comforting each other, then moving on. Find a vice, enjoy it, explore it, then let it go. That's my theory."
Morello's eyes met Alex's.
"At least it used to be, until I met Chapman." Alex said with an air of defeat.
"Think I was right the first time round. Don't give them your heart to break, Morello. Because if they can, chances are they will."
"No strings attached flings, eh?" morello said aloud, as if she was exploring the option.
"Those are the most words you've said over the past few days, or so I've been told."
Morello sighed, "We all have needs, Vause. I needed to just... unplug."
"Amen to that, Morello."
Morello slowly slipped her fingers into Alex's. Alex glanced at her. Morello wore a slight smile on her lips.
Alex tried not to roll her eyes at how fickle the concept of loyalty seemed in this place.
"What about Nicky?" Alex said.
"What about Chapman?" Morello answered.
Alex cocked an eyebrow at her.
"I'm working on falling out of love with that one."
"I appreciate your honesty." Morello answered. Alex pulled her hand away from Morello's.
"Nicky will kill me if we do this." Alex she explained.
"Nicky's an idiot, she doesn't know the first thing about being an adult. Besides, are you gonna chicken out after that big speech? I say fuck my ex. Fuck the world. Chapman and Nicky don't need to know. Ever. Let's go."
Alex studied Morello, she had the expression of a woman who had made up her mind. Morello led Alex by the hand out of her room and down the corridor. Alex was still reluctant.
"You better get me drunk first." Alex said, only half-kidding. Morello grinned, "I have some rum hidden in the laundry room... And what I have in mind, is something you aren't expecting. Escape with me... come on." Alex sighed, curiosity had always gotten the better of her.
The women headed into the laundry room. Morello playfully reached around the back of a machine, and pulled out a clear, small packet filled with white powder. Alex stopped in her steps.
"A line each, come on."
Alex studied Morello, considering the offer.
"What's the worst that can happen, right?" She asked, letting herself embrace the dangerous rebel she once was. Perhaps the only way to fall out of love was to fall into other things and lose yourself entirely.
Morello poured the powder onto a counter top, and used a piece of card to make lines. She did a line. Her eyes slammed shut, as it kicked in. Just watching Morello get a kick was all Alex needed. She felt the urge too. Abandoning all reason, she did a line too. The hit was instant. A sudden lack of emotion teased her head and her heart. The loose fitting sense of freedom, which for once wasn't restricting her. She felt like she was adrift. Entirely engrossed, entirely unattached, and entirely high. She didn't need Piper. She didn't need anything. The kick alone was good enough for her. How she'd missed it. The thrill, the rush, the excitement. How vivid everything her senses detected felt.
She shut her eyes and lay down beside Morello who was gaping at the ceiling.
"You see the spaceships? I like space ships." Morello said.
She reached for Alex's hand. Alex pulled her hand away and instead reached out at the light on the ceiling, from her spot on the floor.
"I feel like I'm floating. Are you floating?"
"I like space ships." Morello replied.
"Floating spaceships?" Alex asked.
The two had begun a dangerous affair with the illicit substance.
"Where did you get this stuff, Morello? It's good stuff."
"I got... from places. Things."
Alex let a small giggle escape her lips. Morello was no longer sober.
"What was the worst thing about SHU?"
"The worst thing, was how loud reality is. The reality of where I've ended up. And how I got here."
"I've never been to SHU."
"It can break you. It didn't break me, but I can see how it can destroy people."
"Did you face your demons and all that?"
"No such luck. My demon got me out of there. And is waiting for me in prison."
"Fuck."
"Yep." Alex sat up, "How about some of that rum?"
"That's too dangerous."
"Ok, then you just watch, and be a chicken shit. And i'll have some." Alex said with a mischievous smile. Morello chuckled and lay back down.
Alex and Morello laughed hard as they stumbled back into Morello's room. They both sobered up upon seeing Piper and Nicky waiting in Morello's room.
"What's going on here?" Nicky asked.
"What're you, stalking us now?" Morello asked. Nicky glared at her.
"We were fucking worried about you, Morello." Nicky eyed Alex, "Wait a second, are you two fucking high?! That's it Morello. You're coming with me." Nicky took Morello by the hand and led her out of the room, despite Morello's protests.
Piper stared at Alex.
"Is she right? Are you high right now?"
Alex sighed, "Who knew Nicky could be such a buzzkill?" Alex avoided Piper's eyes. Piper stepped closer, determined to break through.
"Look at me. Alex, look at me. I know you can be reckless, but you aren't this stupid, are you?" Alex glared at her.
"Back off, Piper."
Alex tried to walk past her, Piper grabbed her by the arm and studied her. Alex watched as Piper's expression turned from concern to dismay.
"You're better than this. Don't become a fucking junkie in here, please."
"Leave me alone." Alex ordered, unable to look into Piper's eyes. Piper reached for her but Alex stepped back.
"Please, just leave me the fuck alone." Alex said clearly.
Piper nodded, confused and hurt but ready to accept that this was what Alex wanted. Piper gave Alex one last look, "You want me to stay away from you... consider it done. Because you are not the Alex I risked my ass to get out of SHU. You are not the Alex I fell for."
"They call it falling for someone, Chapman, because it sucks."
"Fuck you." Piper managed, she seethed with frustration.
"Fuck you too." Alex declared.