Chapter Seven

"Look at you a regular little fashionista," Xena teased Eve when she walked into her office at the museum. Eve smiled as she held her pug in one arm.

"I had a very fashionable teacher."

"Oh I can't take all of the credit," Xena told her. Her own pug who she had affectionately named bête noire which meant black beast, it referred to his face since she had acquired a fawn colored pug and she felt no need to change the name she had decided on. Eve called her pug Esme, sat in her lap.

"Sure you can, in any case I'm sorry I'm late got tied up at school." Eve decided with Michelle's encouragement they both start at a school and than she wouldn't be so alone in meeting new friends. They had both thrived though Eve was struggling with her classes, she had not saw any point in learning everything any normal mortal would in school, but Xena helped her, it wasn't like she didn't have plenty of time to study. Eve was majoring in History.

"No, it's fine, it wasn't a particularly busy day today. We had to close down early because someone thought it would be funny to tag every room, they're still cleaning."

"Did you catch the bastard?" Eve asked.

"I caught him in the act I just happened to be surveying the Gabrielle exhibit. I fired the security guard things have gotten lazy around here to be honest. After the incident I actually took a look around and there were more markings than just the new ones that occurred today on glass and other surfaces we're going to have a hard time getting it off.

"What did you do with the old curator?" Eve asked.

"I took his pension, he doesn't deserve it." Bête noire jumped down and went to his bed as Eve put Esme down who joined her friend.

"Don't you think that was harsh."

"Harsh was when the little girl read her first word and it was fuck. The bad reputation this museum could get from something like that is a deal breaker. This is a place for children to learn and enjoy learning."

"Okay I got it," Eve said sitting down. "Michelle get here?"

"Oh no, she's at the pool today."

"Any update?" Eve asked.

"Hercules finally located a cave, I helped him move everything earlier this morning before I got in today. Now we just all need to figure out how to get him there. Right now however he's really preoccupied with the Vietnam War. Hermes was all too willing to do a little digging and spying about that. And it just seemed natural when you really think about it."

"I wondered about that, when you told me there was a war one of my thoughts was if he had escaped it was possible he was behind it." Xena nodded.

"He's somewhere in Vietnam and appearing in Washington as well influencing America's leaders."

"I suppose this is a good thing for us."

"In the sense that it's keeping him quite busy, so we have time to solidify our plan."

"Glad to hear that." Eve picked up a book and flipped through it. "So Hercules at home?"

"Yes, why?"

"Oh I'm just wondering should I wear ear plugs." Xena looked at Eve and she laughed.

"Have you been gossiping about me with your Aunt?" Eve shrugged.

"I may have been, has it really been years, because even I've you know." Xena chuckled that she was even bringing it up and yet seemed slightly uncomfortable with discussing sex with her mother. Xena stood up and picked up an old book and moved it to a side table before going to her bookshelf.

"Look when your with someone for longer than the average life span you just tend to not have sex as often, granted we've gone an unusually long time, its not uncommon. Even Aphrodite stopped sleeping with her husband at some point, she just began to sleep with other people. So don't be fooled by her that never happens talk."

"Yes, but centuries mother?"

"It has not been centuries and you can go tell your Aunt that while she's telling false information." Eve laughed.

"Really how long has it been. I'd say a month or two before we had to switch lives and I decided I'd like to be a guy and started this Museum."

"That's just over two and a half human life spans."

"I know, so it's been what a century and thirty something years roughly maybe a little more."

"Yes." Eve shook her head as if to say she would never do that. "That's a long time to go without sex, but than again I went like three centuries until the Elizabethan era here in England."

"Well you were pretending to be a virgin for the sake of religion, nobody was going to sleep with you for fear of God." Eve nodded. Xena walked back over to her desk and opened it. "Anyway here are those opera tickets you wanted and I even made reservations at that restaurant you love before the show at seven, so you two can catch the nine o'clock show."

"And with luck I'll be getting laid by tomorrow myself," Eve said winking at her mother before leaving out with the tickets in hand to go do her job.

"Very funny!" Xena called after her. Eve only knew because they had gone shopping for lingerie in Paris. When she got home after picking Michelle and her friend up from the pool and taking her to her friend's house for the weekend. Xena was looking forward to their night together, but she also wanted dinner. Hercules was no where to be found, but dinner was and it wasn't burnt.

"He may have actually learned to cook," Xena chuckled to herself. She finished dinner quickly before showering and putting on some of her new lingerie. When she walked out of the bathroom naturally just as she suspected he was waiting on the bed.

"Somebody went shopping while I was away," Hercules commented. Xena shrugged as she leaned against the bedpost. "Michelle at her friends?"

"Yep."

"And Eve?"

"Out all night and probably doing what I would like to be doing right now."

"Watching an Opera?" Hercules asked sounding quite serious, but a glint in his eyes told Xena different.

"No," Xena answered before crawling seductively onto the bed on top of him. "I would like to make love to you, fortunately for you, my husband's not home yet." Hercules grinned and played along.

"What time will he be home?"

"That's not your concern," Xena whispered. Hercules adjusted under her so she was more comfortable as she kissed her way down his neck. He rolled her over so he could taste her sweet flesh in his mouth. Every so often a piece of clothing would find itself being flung to the floor in abandonment.

"Let's not go two centuries not doing this again."

"Definitely." Hercules entered her and she groaned it had been awhile and she was no longer used to his size. Hercules paused about to pull out.

"I'm fine just let me get use to you, you're bigger than average." Hercules grinned.

"I knew you felt the same way." Xena chuckled.

"Oh great I'm going to have to beat your ego down again in the morning."

"I don't think we'll be done in the morning," he told her kissing her before he shoved it in as far as he could without hurting her. He felt a shiver run through her body. Once he was in they realized once again just how well they fit together like pieces of a puzzle. At first he went slow stretching her out further until he easily found his rhythm releasing centuries worth of hidden tension between them.

"Yeah let's definitely not wait so long, it's a sin." Xena chuckled and pulled a book out from under her pillow.

"So that took care of missionary, I'll be on top in the morning, but right now I have the strength for some more complicated positions." She flipped through the book.

"You were serious about trying that stuff?" Hercules asked.

"Yeah, there's so many to choose from."

"Xena we're not doing that."

"What?" Xena asked.

"We're not doing that, we can do it standing up and in the missionary position with you on top or me really doesn't really matter they're both always a pleasure. Oh and oral."

"What?" Xena asked. "No, why do we have to resign ourselves to being in a box, we need to think outside of the box, we're smarter than a box. Next your going to tell me we can't do it anywhere in the house."

"We're definitely not having sex outside of this bedroom."

"The first time we had sex was outside."

"It was different back than there's people everywhere now."

"Let me get this straight."

"Okay."

"You only want to do missionary, cowgirl, standing, and oral in this bedroom or our master bath. Correct?"

"Correct."

"So no outside in the open?"

"No."

"Not even in the car parked somewhere?" Xena asked which she had been contemplating for their next outing.

"God no."

"How about Doggy Style?"

"No."

"A threesome?" Hercules paused.

"No."

"Not even with another girl."

"No."

"Nothing that looks impossible?"

"No, nothing none of it."

"How about toys?"

"I was kidding about that, we don't need toys."

"Thomas Hayes you are absolutely no fun and after we finish here tonight we're not having sex again until you change your ways." Snoring filled the air.

"I don't believe this shit." Xena muttered hitting him awake. "Your job isn't done you promised me we wouldn't be done before morning." Hercules woke up and it didn't take long for Xena to just forget what he said until a more agreeable time to pick an argument with him.

"What are you doing back here, so early?" Xena asked walking into the kitchen naked. She hadn't been able to do that in a while. Here she had more privacy and if someone saw her naked in her own house it wouldn't be the talk of everyone.

"Wow you're very naked," Eve commented. Xena opened the refrigerator.

"My house, my habits, your not even suppose to be here." Eve laughed.

"Yeah I know, the guy turned out to be a total jerk, I was hoping you two were sleep, but obviously not."

"No, he's sleeping. I've been just lying there for an hour or so comparing just how hungry I was to just how comfortable I was." Eve chuckled. Xena warmed up some leftovers.

"You're really not going to get dressed?"

"No, I had no intention of ever getting dressed today."

"Do I even want to know what's safe to sit on, should I even be eating off this table?" Xena laughed.

"Oh don't worry its perfectly safe, he won't do it outside the bedroom. If I had it my way, you'd have walked into a very messy kitchen, he would still be up, and well let's just not continue down that rode." Eve nodded.

"So you got bored?"

"Of being in the same position most of the night, but I shouldn't complain, I got what I needed."

"Lucky you," Eve told her. "Honestly I'd have better luck sleeping with Ares."

"Maybe."

"I can't persuade you to put clothes on while we're talking about sex." Xena shook her head.

"I warned you." Eve shrugged.

"So, but I'm here now."

"Deal with it."

"Do I have to suffer with Hercules being naked?"

"No, he's such a prude these days that he'll get dressed before you see him." The swinging door opened with a bleary eyed and naked Hercules walking through. Eve watched him in shock and Xena watched him to see when he would notice them as he walked to the refrigerator. What really got Xena is that he took the time to scratch his balls and than proceed to reach into the refrigerator.

"No!" Xena exclaimed. Hercules jumped and turned.

"What?" Hercules asked looking directly at her completely still unaware that Eve was in the kitchen was now looking away with red cheeks.

"Don't you dare scratch yourself and than reach into the refrigerator and put some clothes on your embarrassing Eve. For the first time Hercules noticed Eve. He looked at her.

"She was warned not to come back all weekend."

"Put some underwear on at least," Eve told him. Xena waved her hand and Hercules was dressed.

"Hey, what happened to we're not getting dressed today, so we could just have sex whenever."

"I told you last night when morning hit we weren't having sex again until we get to do what I want."

"What you wanted seemed to happen last night."

"Last night it had been a couple of centuries since we had sex and don't flatter yourself this time, I went to sleep about an hour before you did and I was faking it by dawn, which I shouldn't do its too encouraging." Xena wasn't going to pretend like he had done a good job, this wasn't like any other time.

"I'll see you later, I'm going to change and take the dogs out." Xena and Hercules only nodded without taking their eyes off each other. They waited for her to leave.

"Now that she's gone let's go have sex after I finish eating." He washed his hands than turned back around to the refrigerator.

"No, I was serious, I want to be able to have sex with you in the kitchen and do any other kinky activity at least once. I'm sure there will be things we're both uncomfortable with and won't repeat."

"You can't not have sex with me forever," Hercules pointed out.

"Sure I can, I can have fun all by myself these days," Xena told him in all seriousness.

"You wouldn't."

"Oh but I would Thomas and you wouldn't even get to watch, I know how much you love watch, no matter how much of a prude your turning out to be."

"Why are you calling me Thomas."

"Because if you were my husband we'd still be upstairs having sex and eating breakfast off each other if we even had a mind to stop and eat." Hercules stared at him in disbelief, but realized she was serious as he sat down with his quickly prepared food. "What happen to you, before tonight you were all ready to make love to me on a plane with a cabin full of people."

"I was joking, I knew you wouldn't agree."

"See me when your ready to do things differently."

"What so its your way or the highway?"

"On this particular issue yes." Xena left out of the kitchen, she was halfway up the stairs when Hercules caught her.

"Fine you win, I was just having fun with you, I was going to let you have your way with me and do everything in your little book. I didn't think you would take it this far." Xena was very aware of his lack of clothing again as his moist lips caressed her shoulder.

"Your not just saying that so I'll sleep with you again are you?" Xena asked moving her neck to the side as he moved up.

"No, and to prove it to you we can have sex in the garden."

"Hmm…the garden sounds like fun." Xena turned around and kissed him before she broke their kiss. "You wait right here I have to get something." Hercules nodded and watched her go upstairs. She came back with a liquid substance.

"What's that?"

"Oh just a little something to double the pleasure." Hercules grinned and kissed her again, but than he pulled back. "What?"

"Did you really fall asleep on me?"

"Yes, I got a little bored, I did orgasm though if that makes a difference?"

"A little, but I'm just going to have to make sure that never happens again." Xena nodded her agreement. They were just returning from enjoying themselves in the garden and having lunch on each other in the kitchen when a car pulled up.

"Whose car is that?" Hercules asked as he stopped kissing her and looked out the window on the side of the huge double doors. Xena turned slightly to see who was interrupting their fun.

"Oh shit."

"What?"

Move from the window and be very quiet." Hercules did so. The doorbell rang.

"Michelle I don't think anybody is home," Michelle's friend's mother told her.

"There's always somebody home," Michelle replied. "I'll just use my key, the Heinz is probably upstairs or something and he can't hear the doorbell." Xena and Hercules made a face.

"Get her a key he says," Xena muttered as he dressed themselves before they both opened the door.

"Sorry we kept you waiting we were upstairs in the music room," Xena told them. "Hey honey what are you doing back so early?"

"Marlene didn't believe me about the house, so we had to come see it. Come on Marlene we can start with my room and work our way down to my swing." Marlene and Michelle ran into the house.

"So should the slumber party just continue over here," Marlene's mother said handing them two bags, one was obviously for Marlene.

"Sure, how can we say no," Xena told her taking the bags with annoyance.

"Thanks buh bye." She hurried to her car as Xena and Hercules glared at her and her husband and shook their heads. They drove off quickly and were soon out the gates.

"Bastards," Hercules muttered. "Suppose to be our weekend." There was a flash on the side of him and he looked at Xena, who was dressed in a bikini and a wrap. "Uh where are you going?"

"There's a spa in Bath I've been meaning to try, tootles love," Xena told him disappearing while waving in an Aphrodite like manner.

"Oh that's not cool!" He yelled after her. "I'm getting you back for this!"

"Daddy where did mommy go?" Michelle asked coming back downstairs.

"Oh she had to take off to Bath for the weekend, business you know," Hercules told her. "So what do you want to do?" He didn't know what little girls liked to do.

"I want to go shopping Daddy," Michelle told her. Marlene nodded her agreement. Hercules groaned.

"You're too much like your mother, well come on let's all go get in the car."

"Yay!"