Chapter Twelve

Piper was staring blankly at the ceiling when the sirens rang throughout the prison. She sat up, curious, just like everybody else was. She glanced across at the empty cot opposite hers. She hoped to god it wasn't another new inmate. She could barely stand herself, let alone another potentially psychotic inmate.
As the inmates all peered at the exit doors in wait, Piper noticed how much and yet how little every woman in this place had changed since she got here. Her eyes locked with Daya's, the baby could pop out any day now, she gave Daya a nod. There was gossip, was it Bennett's or Pornstache's? Rumour had it she was playing both, but who knew? Truth was often stranger than fiction, or so Piper had observed. Her eyes landed on Nicky and Red, Nicky had her head pressed on Red's shoulder, in a mother-daughter way, it was sort of beautiful to see such a naturally occurring bond develop in circumstances like these. Then there was Morello, who was stood alone by her cot, and was glancing wistfully at Nicky. It seemed Nicky was no longer interested in pursuing Morello as she once had, and frankly it had made Morello realise what they had and what she lost because she insisted on being her fickle self. Piper tried not to shake her head at the women, she was nothing like them and yet they were all exactly the same. They all possessed certain resilience. It was the same quality that probably landed most of them in here, Piper mused. It was when her eyes landed on Alex that she found herself drowning in that sensation of miserable nothingness. The distance between love and absolute hate were surprisingly close, though she suspected this was more to do with how angry she felt at Alex.
Alex didn't meet Piper's gaze, but laughed with Pennsatucky without a care in the world, it was something Piper never thought she'd witness. She wondered what they were laughing about. Piper wasn't bothered by the fact it was Pennsatucky, but she was more bothered about how Alex managed to even smile when things were so bad between them. It just didn't make sense. It pissed her off. It made her feel worthless. Alex noticed Piper watching. Alex's smile faded, Piper threw her a smirk then turned her eyes back to the doors, they reeled open. In marched Pornstache and Bennett, but no new inmate. The inmates all murmured amongst themselves. This wasn't normal.
They marched over to Alex, Pornstache turned back to everyone and barked, "Nothing to see here. Get a move on!" The inmates returned to their usual activities, all except for Piper, Red, Morello and Nicky. The four exchanged inquisitive expressions, but each drew a blank.

Alex stared at Pornstache, "What?" She asked, unable to stomach his orders.
"I said, pack your things. You're headed down to Farfield."
"Why?" Alex demanded, "I haven't done any thing—"
"We're running out of space, and Farfield specialise in drug types." Pornstache retorted. Bennett stepped in, interjecting firmly, "Do as the C.O tells you, inmate. It's not permanent. It's just while we sort a few transfers out."
Alex's eyes landed on Piper. She allowed herself one last look at the blonde who had her by the heart, then slowly began to nod. Accepting that fate had finally chosen to part them.
"Okay."
Pornstache was already packing her things, Alex did her best not to glance at Piper, Morello, Nicky and Red. Piper's eyes were bursting with questions and concern, but perhaps this was a blessing in disguise, Alex figured.
Maybe it was a sign or something, because whatever they had been doing here in Litchfield had proven to be nothing more than self-destruction. Alex felt tears sting her eyes, she silently scolded herself as she folded her vest tops. She was stronger than this, and she was right. She had to take this as a sign to move forward.

Piper and the women stared as Pornstache and Bennett emerged from Alex's room with her things boxed up. Alex followed them out, she looked at Piper, as if she had a thousand things to say, but her lips remained still.
"Wanna say goodbye to any one?" Bennett asked softly.
Alex gazed at Piper, then simply said, "No."
"Let's go."
Bennett and Pornstache marched Alex out of Litchfield, inmates gasped and whispered in confusion, Nicky's objections echoed through the prison as she followed Pornstache all the way to the door. But Piper remained transfixed. She couldn't move. She didn't think to. Her world had temporarily stopped. All she could do was watch as Alex walked out those heavy doors. It was as if life had punched her hard in the sense, she felt it all and yet nothing simultaneously. To feel numb and to feel everything at the same time was almost dizzying. She watched the doors slowly slam shut behind Bennett. She shut her eyes as they thudded shut. Alex was gone. So quickly. So unapologetically. Alex was gone.
"Don't worry," Nicky was saying, "They're always shuffling me to Farfield and back here again..." but Piper didn't care to understand. She was preoccupied feeling the agonising blow. Alex didn't even say goodbye.

As Alex climbed into the truck, her eyes drifted to the window. A part of her silently hoped Piper would appear at the window to the prison, but right now, in all their faces, she couldn't see the one face she needed to see. Piper hadn't bothered.
Had Alex hurt her so much that one final glance didn't mean a thing? Her heart sank. She mustered a teary eyed smile at Taystee and the other distressed inmates as they watched her go.
It was finally over. The pleasurable anguish Piper subjected her to, was over. She should have felt as if she could finally breathe... then why was it, that as Litchfield shrunk into the distance, Alex found herself feeling more and more suffocated? She was free now, wasn't she? Isn't this what she needed? Isn't this the sort of clean break away from Piper she had prayed for?