Chapter Twenty
Piper sat at the table and picked at her food, she was joined by Nicky, Red and Amber. Somehow this was now the group. Morello was too pre-occupied with her wedding plans to even remember she had friends, well, sort-of-friends who missed her. And Nicky was happily keeping her distance. Or so it seemed. Piper suspected Nicky's stoic approach to the Morello situation was merely the calm before the storm.
And as for Alex? Piper stopped herself from even going there. Alex had done the unmentionable, she had simply up and disappeared a few days after Piper's heartfelt confession. She left Piper feeling exposed, pathetic and devastated. The news had crushed her, Mendez refused to fill her in. Nobody knew where Alex was. All they knew was she was no longer in Litchfield.
Having spent nights staring at the ceiling wondering where she was, why goodbyes were not said—the least she could have done was given Piper a good bye, and what her silence that day meant, Piper had realised that she needed to toughen up. She needed to be less heart and more head. The way Alex had screwed with her head was not okay, to not even say a good bye after Piper laid her cards on the table was absolutely not okay. Most of all, Piper was pissed. She pissed off that Alex just up and left like this. She fucking hated her for it. But it didn't matter, this place was a fishbowl and like all humans, Piper was finding small justifications for moving on and loosening her morals.
An example of that was the way she had gradually allowed Amber to move in closer over the past few weeks. No Alex, no problem, she had told herself. And now she was finally starting to believe it. Nothing of the adult nature had occurred just yet, Piper was easing herself into the idea. Gently opening herself up to the thought of somebody else in that way. It was a strange feeling, one which was both exciting and nerve-wracking.
But Amber was gentle and patient, things Alex never was. Amber was happy just getting to know Piper, and enjoying the small flirtations of everyday life, such as gently touching Piper's foot with hers under the table as they ate.
"I'm starting to like Mendez more than Bennett, and I hate it." Nicky grumbled as she chewed a carrot and glanced at the C.O.s as they supervised the inmates' lunch break.
"Why, what did he do?" Piper asked.
"The way he's stepping up for Daya and the kid. It's almost sweet." Nicky explained.
"That man is a monster. He's scum. Don't you forget it." Red said firmly, wagging a strict finger in Nicky's face. Nicky smacked Red's hand aside.
"It's just an opinion, relax. I'm not marrying the guy."
"No, marriage is for Morello and her guy." Red quipped. Nicky gave her a look that could kill.
"What? It's just an opinion." Red remarked, mocking Nicky. Nicky threw her carrot at Red, Red batted it away.
"Behave." She ordered.
"I'm gonna take a nap." Piper announced. Amber smiled at her, "mind if I walk you?"
"Not at all." Piper answered with a small smile. Amber and Piper excused themselves from the table and headed for the doors.
Red looked from the pair to Nicky, Nicky shrugged.
"People, fickle as fuck."
"She's acting out over Vause. We should keep an eye on her."
"She'll be fine."
"We'll see." Red answered.
"Any word on Alex's whereabouts?" Nicky asked.
"All silent on my end. But I've got my ear to the ground, you'll know when I know."
"Think we'll ever see her again?"
"No clue."
Nicky glanced down at her food.
"What happens when he lets Morello down again and she comes crawling back?"
"Whatever you choose to happen, kid." Red replied, the Russian had a way of saying very little but somehow managing to say it all.
"Real question is, are you and Morello ever going to deal with what happened between you two?"
"I don't know what you're talkin' about." Nicky muttered defensively, then stood up and walked off.
"Ai yai, you kids. Tut." She grumbled as she tucked into her own meal, now alone.
Piper and Amber walked shoulder to shoulder down the corridor, Piper could have sworn Amber had gone to hold her hand a few times, but Piper had accidentally pulled her hand away. She was sort of clumsy and oddly coy in situations like this one. She wondered if her nerves were more to do with Alex than Amber. She scolded herself, don't think about her. She isn't thinking about you. Don't be pathetic.
Piper stopped by her room and smiled at Amber, "this is where I get off."
"Is it?" Amber asked with a playful smile, Piper gave her a surprised laugh. She was impressed.
Amber stepped in closer, Piper felt herself freeze up. Her eyes fluttered shut as she willed herself to be open to how Amber was making her feel. It was the scent of Amber's strawberry shampoo that Piper noticed first, she leant in and seconds later she felt Amber kiss her tentatively. Careful so not to rush or be aggressive with Piper. Amber pulled away after the kiss and studied Piper. Piper felt her cheeks burn as her heart raced. Amber gave her a disarming look, "Next time that happens, you'll initiate it." Amber said softly, then stroked Piper's cheek before walking away.
Piper was glued to where she stood, processing what had just happened. She felt stuck, unable to go after Amber yet unable to walk away and close her mind to this desire to indulge and be selfish. She deserved a meaningless, sexy fling, didn't she? She fucking hated Alex for leaving her like this.
Shutting her eyes she ran her hands over her face and headed into her room. She sunk onto her bed and stared up at the ceiling, once again resenting Alex and resenting that somehow all roads still led to her. Even in her absence.
Piper had gotten over Alex once before, maybe she could do it again.
The buzzer sounded a second time, Alex waited for her door to be opened. Here in Mayfield Penitentiary, she was kept in isolation all day and night, the only human contact she received consisted of exercising with the other inmates every other morning for an hour. Whether it was hazing because she was new, or whether it was because her ex-boss had his people on the inside, Alex would get shoved around and aggressively brushed past during the laps. She was a tough person, she had experienced this sort of thing over and over throughout her life. It didn't phase her too much. What concerned her was what would happen if she wasn't transferred back to Litchfield soon. These things only ever escalated. There was only so much you could push someone around before actually harming them and keeping the fear real. And if her ex-boss was even ten percent of who he was when she ran drugs for him, then she was in real danger.
Her door reeled open, she stared up at the guest both relief and dread moved through her. It was Mendez, if she was being transferred back to Litchfield already it meant one thing, Kubra, her ex-boss, already had somebody in Litchfield waiting.
"I'm here to escort you back to the Litch, inmate. Glad to see you're well."
"This isn't over. You realise I'll be in more danger in Litchfield because nothing happened here?"
"He's behind bars now, Vause. Without your help. You didn't narc on the guy."
"He won't know that." Alex said, "he'll come after me."
"We run a tight shop in Litchfield, Vause. If anyone gets within ten feet of you, I'll see to it personally that they're dealt with. Just keep your head down."
"Mendez, I'm not fucking around here. I'm serious. Something is off, this is too easy and too quick."
Mendez nodded, "I hear what you're saying, but here's what I'm trying to say. I can protect you when you're on my turf. We can protect you, Red can keep tabs, we can make sure you're okay. But if you're out here, you're a sitting duck." Mendez sighed, "you gotta choose between the lesser of two shitty situations. It's your call, I can walk away and never look back. Say the word."
Alex fell silent for a beat, considering her options. She could stay here and face the music, or she could head back to Litchfield where she was promised to be safer, but it meant risking Piper and any of the other inmates who had gotten close to her this past six months. She thought about Nicky and Red. It would be good to see them again, it would be good to see them all again, but at what cost? Staying in this prison for the rest of her sentence seemed awfully appealing right now, she could swing it as a lone wolf. She could watch her own back... or she could return to Litchfield where it was safer, but the stakes were higher. She glanced at Mendez as she reached her decision.