chapter 8

Draco's POV

Did Harry really hate me that much? Why did it have to hurt so much? What's on my face? It makes my eyes hurt. It can't be tears. I'm a Malfoy, Malfoy's don't cry.

"Your a disgrace. If your mother was capable of bearing me another child then I would've disposed of you long ago. Love bah. That's just a silly dream that causes the downfall of many a great wizard. It turns the body against you. Fills your mind with poison." My father leaned in close, so that his nose was practically against mine. "Love makes you weak because no matter how powerful or safe you keep yourself, it will rip through and destroy you far worse than anything even the Dark lord could think up."

The memory came hard and fast. For a minute I even forgot where I was, why I was sad. A single question beat a racket on the inside of my skull even as the memory continued .'did I love Harry? Was that why I can't seem to stop crying?' Denial tried to drill a permanent home in my mind. NO I am not crying ;I'm not hurt; I'm just tired, just so tired. Besides Malfoy's DON'T cry! Malfoy's can't cry.

His lips pulled back in a sneer. " Wipe your face and never allow those tears freedom again. It's not proper for a Malfoy to cry Draco. It shows weakness and We. Are. Not. Weak." It was the first moment that I realized my punishments were not natural or given because they cared; because they loved me enough to bother to fix my mistakes, to make me a better person. Was I even human in their eyes? It was the moment were I promised myself to never be what they were trying to make me even if ,for now, I had to pretend otherwise. Down there in the dungeons of Malfoy Manor, Draco created Malfoy.

" Come on Draco, It's not that bad. So you have wandless, honestly that just means your way more powerful than most every other wizard." Pansy attempted a smile.

" No it means that I'm a freak, a disgrace. What type of normal, respectable wizard had the ability to do wandless?" My smile was bitter even as my eyes remained blank, dead despite the tears. I rested my head on my knees suddenly feeling very tired. Outside the door Harry stiffened, shocked recalling Petunias' sneers and Vernons venom laced words 'freak'.

" That's bullshit and you know it."

Blaise had sat sown with me, immediately starting to rub my back in soothing circles and a cursory glance showed his face to house the scowl of the demons as we liked to call it. Blaise is usually laid back and kind, literally to any person; so when he got mad or actually if someone did something that manages the rare feat of gaining his disfavor or 'god have mercy' hate; Well, you'd know. It's like he's a different person. Dangerous with one hell of a lot of power. The scowl is the safest thing you can get really if you somehow managed it. Though, being so hard to anger or antagonize really he rarely scowls. The ones unlucky or stupid enough to do either just happens to get into an accident that could end or change their lives forever, depends on the amount of hate or anger the particular person manages to make him feel. He reserves the scowl for those that have 'special' circumstance that makes it impossible to harm them. My father is really the only one who is known to have that immunity, consequently he is also the only one that Blaise hates with a fire that really is too dangerous to continue. Taking that into consideration I wisely decided to not intervene and just let him talk.

"That's Him talking and he's nothing but a dipshit who really needs to get a fucking clue. He's a Bastard Drake. A stupid one that's gonna get him fucking bloody killed one of these damn bloody days." Another thing to know bout Blaise, when he starts to curse this regularly and with that much venom, run. Run the other way as fast and as stealthily as you can, after you hastily apologize first of course. He sat up and looked at me making sure I'm listening and not just letting him talk. " That man was not your dad. Sure he helped create you but you don't owe him anything for that. A dad is someone who loves and cares for you and no matter what the document says or how you look like him, He. Was. Not. Your. Father. He lost the right to that title the first time he laid a hand on you. Loyalty even in family is earned not automatically given and He didn't earn it. He was jealousy given life. Your more powerful, you could've killed him any time you wanted and he knew that. He was a coward, praying on the knowledge that you wouldn't dare to harm him while he still had your little sister. You are not worthless, and your wandless is a part of you. You don't have to be ashamed that your proud of it."

There was a thick silence and then...

" And crying isn't a weakness, if anything its a strength. As long as your with your true family Draco then you'll never be alone." Theo's quite voice broke the tension and Pansy nodded. Blaise just grunted, clearly agreeing yet still to vexed to say anything. I smiled slightly, they were right I was never alone; They never let me be alone, even if I asked for it.

I sighed "guys," Theo stiffened abruptly and straightened, turning and yanking the door open in a fluid move just made for nymphs. Harry tumbled in, somehow managing to catch himself and not look like a fool.

sorry for the very late update but its getting harder to figure out how to figure out the exact way I want to continue so it ends up with the story line I want. ever see a story play out too fast that you have trouble writing it? yeah that's really the only way I can explain it sorry if I made any one wait to long.