BLD5

(A/N: I'm supposed to be doing math right now but instead I'm writing. Lol. We've got a Russian sub-teacher today, and she kind of reminds me of my seventh grade English teacher. And that isn't a compliment…)

Ch.5: promises

The moment Kalluto walked in the door, Marza was pulling him up the stairs, to her father's office.

"Illumi knows. He confronted me this morning. And he's… well, I guess he's trying for irony here," Marza explains, "He wants the wedding to happen, as a punishment or something. Or he just wants you to marry Feitan I don't know."

Kalluto groans, "With Illumi it could be anything really. Shit… what is Feitan going to think? And this was his idea… I don't want him to feel guilty! I don't want to ruin his life!"

Kuroro gets up from his chair, and kneels down to Kalluto's height, "Calm down, we're in a better position than I thought we'd be in. He doesn't want to take you back. In fact, I'm pretty sure this whole fiasco convinced him that you're in good hands here. I mean, going so far as to fake an engagement? Sounds like some pretty good friends to have, right?"

The boy shrugs, and looks down, "but still… Feitan doesn't want to marry me. He just wanted me to stay here. It's just work, right? He doesn't care about me, especially not like that."

"Kalluto," Marza replies, "if he wasn't totally okay with going through with the wedding, he wouldn't have announced it in the first place, spur-of-the-moment decision or not."

Machi nods in agreement, "Feitan may seem pretty weird, but inside that shell he's got a lot of pride. He takes promises very seriously. And my gut is telling me he likes you more than you think. He's just not good with communicating."

Kalluto shakes his head, "That's not the point guys. He doesn't love me, and yet we have to get married. I don't want to do that to him."

Kalluto excuses himself and escapes to the garden again, this time to a corner of the garden they had yet to explore. Eventually he finds himself in a corner by a rose bush, and plops down to rest.

Somewhere in his mind, a voice he long ago silenced had risen up, telling him to run back to where Feitan was, and pull him away. To lock themselves in the library again, in the peace and quiet they shared. But that voice was weakness, or so Silva said.

The voice wanted to hold hands, to feel the pulse of another life. Kalluto was scared. Scared of Illumi, of Feitan, of himself. Scared of the future, of the wedding… of having to open up to someone who didn't seem to like him. Of living.

"So you give your brother to thieves?" Feitan replies, "Some brother you are."

"You're the one that started this lie. Given time and effort, a lie can become the truth. A torturer like yourself should know why I'm doing this. I want to watch you slowly destroy him. You couldn't really love Kalluto, even if you tried. He'll fall apart, tormented by the very people he trusted so deeply. I told him he'd regret joining the troupe, and now he will."

"How I destroy him?" Feitan growls, "I show nothing but kindness. I never hurt an ally."

"Not physically, no," Illumi coyly retorts, "But the very idea of being married to someone who doesn't even consider him a friend will kill him from the inside out. One day you'll wake up and he'll be… gone."

Rage builds in Feitan like nothing he's ever felt before. The audacity of Illumi's statement leaves him reeling. Even to a torturer, that is cruel.

"…no."

"What?"

"No! That won't… NO!" Feitan growls, "You are wrong! WRONG! … But what would a Zoldyck know…"

"Kalluto's a Zoldyck."

"Not after this."

They remain there for a moment, before Illumi breaks off.

"Well, I guess we'll see who knows Kalluto better."

"If you knew Kalluto, he never would have left you. If any of you gave half a shit this wouldn't have happened. It's too late, the deed is done. And love or no love, I won't lose this fight. Not with a prize this precious."

Feitan was a runner, it was common knowledge. He out sped Illumi easily, and went in another direction. He had noticed Kalluto running deeper into the garden earlier, but Illumi's back was turned. That gave him a little bit of time.

The raven's mind was going a mile a minute. That man was convinced that Feitan would be such a horrible husband Kalluto would die slowly, painfully, and silently. But Feitan knew better. He knew Kalluto so much better than Illumi ever could.

He knew Kalluto already died inside once. That's what happened to all the Zoldyck children. That happened to most, if not all, of the troupe members. But Kalluto had the strength to get back up; something Illumi was never capable of. Feitan and Kalluto were strong. The Phantom Troupe were more than thieves; they had staying power. They knew how to hold on, even when all seemed lost. Kalluto belonged with them, and Feitan was never going to give him up.

Especially not to someone so broken and weak.

It didn't take long for Feitan to find Kalluto. He was sitting under a rose bush, wig off and contacts out. His eyes were a little red, as were his cheeks.

"Kalluto…"

"I know. They told me. I'm so sorry. This is my fault."

Feitan kneels down next to him, and lifts his chin to lock eyes. They remain like that for a minute as Feitan searches for the right words.

"I promise. I promise to protect you. Please… please promise to live."

Kalluto looks up at him, confusion etched in his face, "to live? Feitan what are you-"

"He says you die! He says I kill you, from inside out! I say he lies! Please… please promise."

Kalluto then had a profound realization. Sitting there under a rose bush, with Feitan looming over him, desperate and worried, he suddenly knew why.

Feitan cared. Feitan cared more than he could understand, or even say. The very thought of losing him drove the torturer to insanity. It was more than pride, it was more than a job… Feitan cared.

Upon this thought, Kalluto leapt up, throwing his arms around Feitan's neck, "I promise. I promise to live. I swear by the sun and the moon and every star I won't ever leave!"

Fresh tears sprung in his eyes, and for the first time in years, he listened to that voice in his mind and let them fall. Big, messy tears that made all the makeup drip down onto his cheeks. Years of pent up emotion, fear, and anger spilled forth in a deluge of tears.

And then, a miracle happened.

Feitan's arms slowly moved, not to push Kalluto away, but to hold him. The torturers slender arms wrapped around his waist tightly, as if he could be ripped from the embrace at any moment.

And they didn't move until Kalluto fell asleep, exhausted from crying. Feitan took the slender boy in his arms and walked back toward the house.

It began to rain.

Feitan locked the bedroom door behind them and laid Kalluto down on his half of the bed. Feitan tucked him in and went to close the blinds.

And out in the garden, a long forgotten wig and contact lens case sat in an ever growing puddle.

(A/N: oh no I'm like almost crying in math class help. My babies! Ugh I love them. But TBH, if I were there, Feitan would be ALL mine.)