I do not own That '70s Show or '70s related products such as bell-bottoms. This story is set sometime in season 6 or possibly 5. To me these two seasons blur together, it's really hard to tell them apart.

(This is the story about) shoplifting and something about a radio

For the past few months, Donna had been trying to get her boyfriend and her best friend to get along, but it wasn't working. There were moments when the two couldn't even be in the same room with the other without one of them stomping off in a rage. It seemed Jackie hated Eric and Eric hated Jackie and that was the way it would stay for the rest of time. But "time" ended on one particular day in 1978.

Everyone was down in the basement, as usual. Hyde was in his chair while Jackie sat comfortably on his lap; Kelso was in his lawn chair as he confidently bragged that he was positive his baby was going to be a boy; and Fez was sitting on the tricycle, switching the stations because he wanted to see Love Boat. On the couch, sat Eric and Donna- happily planning their wedding.

Donna nuzzled closer to her fiancé, "Do you think we should play ABBA?"

Jackie interrupted, "Why are you asking him? Of course! It's ABBA!"

Eric cleared his voice, "Because Jackie, she's marrying me not you."

Fez stopped changing channels to comment, "Maybe Jackie and Donna should get married. I would go to see that wedding!"

While everyone smiled and chuckled, Jackie snapped at Fez, "Shut up before I throw a lamp at you!"

Hyde adjusted his girlfriend on his lap, asking Donna, "Donna, why the hell do you even want ABBA? It's that disco do-da crap."

Donna shrugged her shoulders, eyeing Eric, "You know which song, don't you, Vanilla Milkshake?"

A smile spread across Eric Forman's face, "Fernando, My Strawberry Lemonade."

Jackie's mouth slanted sideways as she complained, "Fernando? That is like the worst ABBA song ever! If you're gonna play that- you might as well not even play ABBA at all."

Kelso smiled, "Hey Jackie, are you jealous 'cause Donna and Eric are getting married before you and Hyde?"

The brunettes eyes narrowed at him from across the room, "Do you want a lamp to the face, too?"

Eric took in breath, saying out loud, "Hey Hyde, I've noticed that ever since Jackie's started dating you, she's become more violent."

"True." Hyde sniffed before smirking up at his girlfriend, "You're coming along nicely."

When she heard it she wiggled her shoulders slightly, smiling proudly, "Thank you, Steven." She then announced to the gang, "The other day… I even shoplifted eye shadow!" Blissfully she waved an arm, "It's just such a rush, you know?"

Donna eyed her with much alert, "Calm down tiny felon."

Eric looked over at Hyde, "Um buddy? I know it's none of my business, but shouldn't you de-courage this type of behavior?"

Hyde peered over at Eric from over his aviators, "You're right- it's none of your business."

Eric couldn't help but sit up, gesturing toward Jackie, "Hyde, it's just that I don't think we should encourage shoplifting. Like today it's eye shadow tomorrow it's-"

Jackie interrupted, "A radio."

Donna raised an eyebrow, "A radio?"

Jackie nodded, "Yeah, that one by our dresser."

Donna had both eyebrows raised as she sat up quickly, "You stole a radio and plopped it by my dresser? Are you insane?! What if the cops show up looking for it?!"

Jackie rolled her eyes, "Oh come on, Donna! What officer is just going to hang out in your bedroom?"

Kelso raised his hand, "Hey, I'm a cop and me and Fez were there yesterday."

Donna was floored, "What the hell were you doing in my room?!"

Kelso stopped, his brown eyes widening. He then said slowly, "I plead the fifth."

Eric shook his head, telling Hyde, "All this insanity aside, I don't think Jackie should be some sort of outlaw, or for that matter you!"

Fez agreed, "Yes, you are Jackie and Hyde, not Bonnie and Clyde."

Ignoring them was Donna who was grilling Kelso, "No Seriously, what the hell were you doing in my room?"

Kelso shrugged, "I was doing tons of stuff, like listening to your new radio. Like, I even heard this report on WFPP that there's a string of shoplifting thefts at the mall."

Donna rolled her eyes, "Detective, it's Jackie!"

Fez stared at the TV screen, "Everyone, everyone be quiet! Love Boat is on!"

Jackie turned her attention to Eric, hotly telling him, "Hey, where do you get off telling me how to run my life? Is your dad in jail? Is your mother vacationing in Argentina? No, so you have no idea what I'm going through, so just be quiet."

Eric leaned toward her, "Look, I just think-"

She jumped out of her boyfriend's lap, she huffed, "I'm tired of being preached to! And I don't have to take it from Pasture Dave and I don't have to take it from you!" She then stomped upstairs, causing a lingering fog of tension. Meanwhile the theme song of the Love Boat awkwardly floated in:

Love, exciting and new…

Kelso looked up at the ceiling, "Yeeaaahhh, someone should go and comfort her."

Hyde sighed, "Know what, I got an idea. We'll all nominate someone to go up and listen to her hate Forman. The person with the most votes loses. And, I nominate Forman."

Eric twitched, "Me?! Why me?!"

Hyde threw up his arms as if it was so obvious, "You pissed her off, man!"

Eric turned to Donna, "I'll pay you twenty bucks if you go instead."

Donna thought it over, "Eric, you know how hard I've been trying to get you and Jackie to get along. Would it be so bad to check on her?"

Eric nodded, "Yes! It would be!"

He then asked Kelso and Fez, "You two! Who do you nominate? Hyde?"

Kelso shrugged, "You. Yer interrupting Love Boat."

Fez nodded, "Yes you are. Go away."

Eric hung his head while Hyde smiled, "It's unanimous, Forman. Congratulations." Eric groaned as he trudged up the stairs.

When he reached the kitchen, he noticed Jackie at the breakfast table. She wasn't crying and didn't even seem mad. She was just reading Cosmo with a very bored expression on her face.

Eric approached her nervously, "Jackie?"

The cheerleader looked up, casually tossing the paper aside, "Yes?"

"Soooo…" A confused Eric asked, "You're not mad?"

"What do you think?"

Eric cautiously, took a seat next to her, "I'm sorry if I upset you, it's just that I think your too young to be running around Point Place, stealing things that don't belong to you! Like, jail isn't a fun place. There are no princesses in jail, only prisoners."

Jackie slouched, thinking over his statement as she sighed, "I know."

"Then why do you do it?"

She shrugged, "I don't know. It just makes me feel alive."

Eric stared at her for a moment before commenting, "Why don't you feel alive in an everyday setting?"

She laughed bitterly at that question, "Eric, my parents are gone. I reside with Donna, who's living my dream of getting married! Technically I'm poor. And in a few weeks, I'm graduating High School so even my popularity will be gone! Why shouldn't I feel the way I do?"

"You have friends here. We care about you."

She shrugged, "I know, it's just…"

He wanted to get his point across. He told her softly, "I care about you."

Not taking him seriously she nodded, "Sure you do."

He said loudly, "You bet your life I do. All you guys are my best friends and I love all of you."

She looked up at him, asking, "And Steven feels the same way about me that you feel for Donna?"

Without hesitation Eric nodded, "I know he does."

Jackie's smile brightened up a bit, "And he would fly to the ends of the world, swim bottomless pits, move mountains and travel canyons for me?"

Eric smiled, "Yes. And if he didn't, I would."

The brunette began a soft smile, her hand sliding next to his, "Thank you, Eric."

He couldn't help but squeeze her small hand, "The pleasure is all mine, Miss Burkhart."

"What the hell is going on here?!"

Eric and Jackie spun around to meet Donna Pinciotti's with her mouth dropped. Eric released Jackie's hand, rising to his feet and putting up his arms in defense, "Sugar plum, I can explain."

"The hell you are!" Donna shouted at her fiancé, "I turn my back on you for two seconds and yer moving mountains and swimming bottomless pits for my best friend?! I mean, What The Hell!? Eric, you can barely move the couch and stay afloat in a kiddie pool!"

Eric courageously stepped towards Donna, "Sweet pickle, you just came in at the wrong time. I swear!"

"Wrong time?" Donna snickered, "What better time was there to walk in and catch my beloved boyfriend holding hands with Jackie?! What? If I left you two alone long enough, the two of you would be traveling canyons?!"

Eric gulped, "You know perfectly well you are my only Redheaded Sunflower in the entire world!"

Donna marched right up to him so that they were nose to nose. She calmly, but angrily growled, "I want you to stay away from Jackie from now on. Do you understand me?"

Eric shook his head, confused, "But I thought you wanted us to get along!"

"Stay away. Got it?"

Eric again gulped, "But I was only-"

Donna than pointed at Jackie, "Stay. A-way." She then looked past Eric and right at Jackie, "So now what're you trying to do? Shoplift my boyfriend?"

Jackie pointed at her, "You need to calm down. We were just talking-"

Donna grabbed her boyfriend's hand, muttering darkly, "Talking my ass! You were holding hands!"

Jackie placed her hands on her hips, telling her roommate, "If I wanted to steal Eric, I would've. But obviously he's still with you, so it's plain to see I never even attempted."

Still upset she told Jackie, "I'll talk to you later." She turned to Eric, "I'm talking to you now."

Eric gulped, "You sure I can't switch places with Jackie?"

Jackie stayed in the kitchen, rolling her eyes while Donna pulled Eric out onto the driveway.

Donna shoved Eric in her bedroom and not in her sexy, playful way. She flipped on the lights, and locked the door behind her. While Eric toppled on her bed, Donna angrily shouted at him, "What was going on between you and Jackie?!"

Eric shook his head, saying as innocently as he could, "Nothing, Pink Lemonade."

Donna's green eyes narrowed suspiciously, "Eric! Focus! Stop with the lovey dovey nicknames! You only get to call me them when I am NOT pissed off with you! Now," Donna took in a deep breath, "why were you holding her hand?"

Eric stood on his feet, speedily explaining, "She was sad and I was just trying to be nice. Y'know? Like how you wanted me to be around her! I mean, going up to see her wasn't my idea! You all sent me up there to begin with, or did you forget?"

Donna thought about it for a second, trying to calm down. He did have a point there.

She then snapped, "Well you didn't have to be that nice! For god sakes Eric, you were seconds away from Frenching!"

He tried distracting her, pointing at her dresser, "Look! The radio! Don't you want to return it?"

She narrowed her eyes, "Be quite." She then glared at the radio, "And don't mention that thing. First chance I get- it's out of here."

Eric gulped, "I love you."

She was pacing up and down, but when she heard him she angrily told him over her shoulder, "I love you, too."

He took that as a good sign as he dared stepped closer to his girlfriend, "Donna, please don't be so protective."

She glared at him, "Sit."

He took in a breath and like a dog sat at the edge of the bed. He was super quiet as she paced in front of him, thinking aloud, "Okay. We sent you up there because she was upset-as usual. So, that's okay….but then you both started talking about moving mountains and swimming bottomless pits for each other and were holding hands and were looking at each other so…so…so…"

"I love you, Donna. Not her. I only said those things because she doesn't have someone who's there for her. Not like you have me."

Donna whirled around to face him. After a long pause, she asked him very quietly, "You promise that was it? Nothing more?"

Eric shook his head, deadly serious, "Nothing more, My Lady."

A small, hopeful smile broke on her face. After staring at him for a minute, she sat next to him, sighing dejectedly, "I am so sorry I acted like an idiot. It's just that I can get so mad sometimes, especially when I see with other girls."

Eric smirked, snaking an arm around her, "Afraid they're gonna steal me away?"

Donna rolled her eyes, "Maybe I'm selfish, but I don't want them to see you the way I do, because if they do…well, yeah. I'm going to have to fight them off with a stick." Eric laughed, "Well you can take 'em."

She playfully pushed his head, "Shut up, my horny nerd boy."

Hearing this made Eric beam. She was using her lovey, dovey nicknames for him, which meant that she was no longer mad, though a little hurt, she was no longer hostile.

His head rested near hers as he sighed slowly, "Now that we're through with the fighting, what do you want to do, Strawberry Cream Cake?"

She shrugged, adjusting herself so she could look at him better, "I dunno. What do we usually do after a fight, Dutch Apple?"

Eric looked around the room innocently, "Usually? We fight some more, Cherry Slurpee."

At that Donna chuckled a bit, "We do, don't we, Vanilla Milkshake."

Eric politely planted a kiss on top of her forehead, "But we're not gonna fight tonight, are we?"

Donna nodded, agreeing, "I'm too tired."

Eric yawned, "Perhaps we should take off our clothes, turn off the lights, and see where we go from there?"

Donna nodded, grinning, "You get naked first."

"Hold up. You know I'm a firm believer in the old 'Woman and Children First', and you are a woman."

"I know, and yer a child."

Eric smiled, "Fine. I'll go first, my lady."

Donna lay on her bed, giggling hysterically while Eric hummed Johnnie Taylor's Disco Lady. He yanked off his belt, humming the line, "Move it in, move it out, shake it in, shake it out, Disco Lady."

With a very provocative wiggle, his jeans slipped off his legs. Donna shook her head, still laughing, "I cannot believe you are my fiancé."

Eric stepped out of his pants, still humming as he slowly unbuttoned his shirt. Donna couldn't control herself as her hands flew around his neck and collapsed both of them on her bed. After attacking his mouth in a series of violent kisses, Donna climbed on top of him as she took off her own shirt.

Eric sat up so his head could be eyelevel with her breasts. He panted, "I dunno what the guys are talking about when they tell me that marrying you would be a mistake."

Donna stopped cold, "Those idiots tell you that marrying me would be a mistake?"

Eric shrugged, "Well yeah, but it's nothing-"

"Do you believe them?" She demanded.

Eric licked his lips, pausing before saying, "Uh…no."

Donna got off him sensing his lie, putting back on her shirt as she sneered at him, "Get bent."

Eric leaned forward, shaking his head desperately, "No, no, no, no, no! Please Donna! Don't leave!"

His shouts were vain, as she had already left. He sat back down on her bed, something piercing his kidney. It was a small case of eye shadow. Upset, he muttered under his breath as he yanked his clothes back on. Sometimes, as much as he loved her, Donna could simply be impossible. Did he hesitate? Yes. But only she could zap the fun out of a good make-up.

He was on his way out when he saw the radio. He knew turning it on would agitate Donna- so he did it just to get her back.

There was something in the air that night,

The stars were bright, Fernando,

They were shining there for you and me,

For liberty, Fernando

"On second thought," he grumbled, "I don't want ABBA playing at our wedding."

I also don't own "Fernando" from Abba.