"You can't be serious. He said he's fine, let's stop with the mind melding for today." Ashley spat. She glared at the asari, and Shepard stared at her, shocked. What's gotten into her? Liara gaped at the human woman, totally at a loss for words.

"She's right, Ashley. If she can help make sense of the vision, we need to try." He reasoned. The soldier simply rolled her eyes and sat back.

Liara waited for a moment, nervous to continue, then stood. Shepard joined her. Her blue eyes met his.

"Relax, Shepard. Embrace eternity." Something pulled and pushed again, stretching him. Liara's eyes were bottomless.

He shook himself as the sound faded from his ears, trying to rid the vision from his mind. He shot out his hand to catch Liara as she stumbled back. "You okay?" He asked, watching the asari struggle to stand steady. She gave a weak nod.

"That was incredible! All this time…my research…but I never dreamed! Oh, it was so vivid." She gushed, her eyes wide with wonder and shock. Shepard stared blankly back. Is she serious? Get to the goddamn point. "I never imagined the experience would be so…intense." Her eyes looked to his, serious and somewhat frightened. "You truly are remarkably strong-willed commander." You've mentioned. "What you've seen…" Her voice trailed, her nerve wavering. "What you've been through… It would have destroyed a lesser mind."

Exactly what did you see from our little sharing session? Shepard watched her wearily, not savoring the thought that she may have picked up on more than the vision. The idea was invasive. Apparently, Ashley was just as uncomfortable.

"Come on, get to the point." Her words mimicked his thoughts. "What did it tell you about the vision?"

"The beacon must have been badly damaged. Large parts of the vision are missing. The data transferred into the Commander's mind is incomplete." Liara answered quickly, not daring to meet the intensity in Ashley's gaze.

"So there was nothing?" Shepard growled in frustration, a hand coming up to run through his hair. Something wet and sticky stuck to it. Oh great, Thorian hair gel.

"I can interpret some data from your vision, but there are missing pieces that I need to understand it. Another beacon may have transferred them to someone else's mind." Liara said ponderously. "Saren's mind. If we can get to Saren, we can recover the rest of the vision from him and finally make some sense of – woah." The asari gasped, and the commander watched, exasperated, as she stumbled. He caught her and steadied her. "I- I'm sorry, I'm afraid the joining has taken more out of me than I thought. It is exhausting. I should go lie down in the medical bay for a moment." Her hand raised to her forehead in true fainting fashion.

You have got to be kidding me. "This was supposed to help us find Saren." Shepard sighed, but nodded to the asari. "Go lie down. Make sure the doc has a look at you. Good job today." He murmured, half in his head as the asari nodded and smiled at him before leaving. "Alright. Any ideas on where we find the bastard, bring them to me. For now, you're dismissed." They stood and walked out, but not before he noticed Ashley send a glowering look over her shoulder. At this point, he wasn't even sure what it could be for.

"Feros report away. Want me to patch in the Council, bossman?"

"Do it, Joker." Deep breaths.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

"Goddamn fucking doucheburgers," Shepard growled, coming up to stand behind Joker.

"Wow Commander, such language! And doucheburgers, Shepard?" Joker craned his neck back at the commander. "Really?"

"Seemed to fit." He muttered, still shaking. "Set a course for Edolus."

"Will do." Joker chirped, his face then scrunching up in disgust. "Now go hit something. You're good at that when you're mad. Then shower. You smell like a moldy bag of spinach."

"Thanks for that." Shepard sighed, rolling his eyes and heading to the stairs. The shower was going to come first. He was covered in goo and dirt and blood from the normal scratches associated with heavy combat. Joker cast him a lazy salute as the commander turned and walked out of the cockpit. He glided quickly through the CIC and down the stairs to his cabin, only nodding to his crew and trying to ignore the way they looked around for the smell as he passed. He stripped down as soon as his door closed and stepped into the shower, delighting in the feel of the grime being washed away.

He dried off and threw on some gym clothes a short while later, having every intention of procrastinating on his mission reports in favor of working out what remained of his tension literally. He felt better, a little looser from the warm water, but his mind still throbbed from being pushed into by the two asari, from the deafening sounds of the beacon's vision. He rolled his neck slowly once he boarded the elevator, a heavy breath leaving him as he exhaled. He descended, only realizing he had closed his eyes when he heard rather than saw the doors open. For some reason, the first place he looked was to Ashley – the woman was seated in from of a vidscreen, probably on a call, wearing her casuals and looking relaxed. He heard her laugh, and something in him relaxed with her.

He stopped himself from staring and strode purposefully across the hangar to the gym equipment, glancing at the punching bag longingly but opting for some weights. Chakwas probably wouldn't like him swinging his fist around while it was technically still healing. Shit. Jeong. That fucking parasite. He made a mental note to do some checking and see what he could do to make sure those colonists got back on their feet without further harassment from their sponsoring company. He glanced down at his hand, noticing the swelling vanished, leaving only slight bruising in its wake. Wonders of medigel. Still, he wasn't anxious to tell the doctor of his rough treatment of the ExoGeni rep. She would doubtless have words for him. He opted for some weights, just in case, and sat back on the bench to do some lifting.

The burning in his muscles and monotony of the movements calmed him, and he felt his mind clear. It felt good, his worries and fears and anger briefly set aside. A hand came through his hair, the compulsion soothing him further, and he glanced up to find Garrus heading his way.

"You do realize you've been running around in heavy armor all day, right?" The turian mused as he approached, surveying the commander.

Shepard smirked. "You go and get soft if you want to. It'll make kicking your ass that much easier."

Garrus barked a laugh. "Is that a challenge, Shepard? I'll have you know I was top-ranked in hand-to-hand." He grinned with wide mandibles. "And turian sparring is nothing like the swatting and stumbling you humans do."

"Oh, it's on. As soon as I know Chakwas isn't going to torture me for fighting with a bad hand, you're going down." Shepard's eyes grinned back at the turian.

"Take all the time you need to get ready. I'd hate to beat the glorious Commander Shepard too easily." Garrus chuckled, and Shepard rolled his eyes. "I actually wanted to ask you something, if you're done proving you can lift heavy objects."

The Spectre snorted. "Sure, what's up?"

"What happened with Ethan Jeong, the ExoGeni man..." Garrus stopped, studying Shepard shrewdly. "You were going to kill him, weren't you?"

Shepard shrugged coolly, sobering, reaching down to grab a towel and wipe the sweat from his face. "That's what my first intention was. He deserved it, and he was threatening those colonists and slowing our progress towards completing the mission."

Garrus nodded, staying silent for a few moments as he seemed to contemplate this. "My father doesn't like Spectres, you know." He murmured, glancing back to Shepard. "Says they have too much power, and too little supervision. No one controls them. It's dangerous."

Shepard nodded slowly. "He's right, in a sense."

"Is he? Do you think that?" Garrus questioned, a brow plate quirking. His voice wasn't challenging, nothing in his manner remotely accusing of the commander. Only curiosity, intrigue, was in the turian's grey-blue eyes. "It's dangerous, yes. Saren is an example of that. But the rules and restrictions can be dangerous too. They can keep us from doing our jobs." The turian sighed. "All the red tape in C-Sec prevented me from protecting people just as often as it helped me. Some of it may be necessary, but how can we save people if we're hindered by our own system?"

"Sometimes you have to do whatever is necessary." Shepard murmured, looking up at Garrus. The turian looked conflicted, but he nodded.

"I understand what you did with Jeong, Shepard." He said, mandibles twitching. "He did deserve it. The man was willing to murder his own people to protect a company secret. But why did you stop? ExoGeni could still take advantage of the colonists. Why should they be allowed to still have a presence there?"

Shepard's brow furrowed, not sure how to answer the question. Why had he stopped? He definitely hadn't begun to feel any sort of remorse for the man. He had wanted nothing more than to make sure Jeong couldn't be any further threat to those people. But that was it. Ashley had said he wasn't. She stopped him. He glanced towards the soldier, still on a vidcall with another woman. "The colony needs ExoGeni. Without them, they won't be funded. They won't be fed." He murmured. "It's too far out for the Alliance to provide regular support, even if the colonists would even take it. Not everyone trusts them." His thoughts were dark. He exhaled and continued. "Jeong won't be a threat, now that he knows he's on our radar. With the Thorian gone, they've lost their pet project. They're no longer dangerous to the colonists. And I wasn't just being a dick, ExoGeni could still stand to profit from being seemingly philanthropic. They could easily be subsidized by the Alliance, or given funding to further other projects." He growled. "Its bullshit, but hopefully it'll help the colonists."

Garrus followed his gaze towards Ashley, then looked back to Shepard, mandibles fluttering curiously. "Well, I respect you're willing to do what it takes to get things done." Shepard looked back to the turian, finding his gaze studying him once again. What is he looking for? "I think we'll need that to take down Saren. He isn't afraid to fight dirty, and we shouldn't be either."

Shepard nodded sullenly. "We'll catch him, Garrus. Don't worry about that." The rogue was a monster, with what appeared to be a complete disinterest in how his actions were affecting innocent lives. First Eden Prime, with the slaughter of colonists, soldiers, and Nihlus. Then Noveria, and all those scientists in the hot labs. Now, Feros. He was prepared to take down an entire colony to prevent Shepard from getting the Cipher. Is that what I am? Am I that ruthless? "We will get it done, but we won't stoop to his level. We're out here fighting for those who can't defend themselves. I'm not about to forget about them." His eyes stared at his hands.

"And when we find Saren?"

"Saren is a traitor, a murderer, and is trying to bring back a race of machines who want nothing more than our total annihilation." Shepard's green eyes came back up to Garrus. "When we find Saren, he's dead."

The turian nodded. "Good. He's too dangerous to be allowed to wriggle his way out of custody through the limits of Citadel laws." His voice was hard, his eyes dark. After a moment, his mandibles clicked resolutely. "Alright, good talk, boss. Let me know when doc says you can come out and play. I'll show you what hand-to-hand really looks like." He grinned, and Shepard mimicked the gesture, about to reply when he was cut short by a girlish voice.

"Oh, and sis? Before I go, you said you're serving with Commander Shepard? He's cute!" Shepard's brows shot up, stunned and amused. The woman speaking on the vid giggled. "Later, sis!"

Ashley spun around and gawked, red-faced, at Shepard and his turian companion. Shepard, for his part, had the grace to look away, pretending he hadn't heard a thing. Garrus, however, barked out a laugh, before seeing Ashley's expression and covering it with a casual cough.

"Oh, god." Ashley sighed, and Shepard stood up, kicking a tittering Garrus and walking towards the soldier. He smirked and she rolled her eyes. "Tell me you didn't hear that."

"Afraid I did." Shepard grinned at her, and she groaned.

"Shoot me now." The woman grumbled, though an amused smile teased at her lips. Her hand came up to cover her face as she leaned back against her desk. "That was Sarah, one of my sisters. She's never really gotten the hang of shutting that big mouth of hers." She risked a glance through her fingers at the commander. He was still grinning childishly, arms crossed as he watched her embarrassment. Ashley glared back at him, smile vanishing. "Surprised to see you down here, Shepard. Figured you would be getting checked out by T'Soni."

The bitterness in her tone confused him. What? What does Liara have to do with anything? "Huh?" His ineloquent response slipped from his mouth before he could stop himself.

"I saw how you two were attached at the hip down there. Kaidan had mentioned something about her being interested, but I didn't figure her for your type. Guess it makes sense though." Her voice was cold, cutting. What the hell is she talking about? "She's not really part of the Alliance, so there are no rules about fraternization. And at least an asari looks like a woman."

Shepard's eyes widened as he gaped at her. "Wait." He stepped towards her, his voice lowering. "You think I'm interested in Liara?"

Ashley glared at him. "I get it, a man has his needs. But I'd appreciate if you kept it a little more subtle in front of the rest of us, sir. The whole brain-bonding thing is a little much for public." Her voice dripped with contempt.

"Ashley." Shepard spoke sharply, enduring to make his voice calm. "Liara is the farthest from anything I'd ever be interested in." He said slowly, green eyes searching her brown. "She might be over a hundred, but she's a child." Ashley's brows raised. "And I may be a man, but any 'needs' I have come second to my mission. Even if I did see her as anything but my subordinate, I'm not about to start something with someone who's already emotionally fragile. This job has too many risks."

"She's been all over you." Ashley said firmly, her stubbornness obviously not allowing her to back down just yet. "And you don't exactly discourage it."

"I haven't noticed it, Ash." He sighed, and she glanced at him in surprise at the use of the nickname. "If I see it happening, I'll be sure to inform her it's not wanted. She's not the one that interests me." Shit. Ashley's mouth opened fractionally, and Shepard cursed himself for being such a dumbass. I don't even know what I meant by that. "I mean…" He attempted to backtrack, a hand rubbing the back of his neck anxiously. "So, Sarah's just one of your sisters?" Ashley had an all-to-knowing smile on her face. "How big of a family do you have?"

Thankfully, Ashley seemed to forget her anger over the asari's advances. "Yeah, three sisters. I'm the oldest, then there's Abby, Lynn, and Sarah." She said fondly, her eyes regaining her usual warmth. "They're great. Major pains in my ass, but great." Her smile was infectious. Shepard found himself grinning back at her. "With Dad gone on duty so much, I had to help Mom out raising them a lot. We're all pretty close."

"You mentioned your dad served before. Where at?" Shepard asked, leaning beside her against her desk.

"Any crap assignment he could take that offered space time." She shrugged, her voice a little bitter. "He worked his ass off to get recognized, but he never made it above serviceman third class…" She shook her head, and Shepard frowned. She looked at him, and smiled a little weakly. "He was real proud when I made chief. First thing he did was salute." Her voice was wistful as she smiled at the commander.

"Your mother wasn't enlisted though?"

"Nope, military wife, through and through. She's strong, the strongest woman I know. She gave up her career, everything so she could raise us while Dad was away." She said fondly, the admiration clear in her tone.

"Grow up on Earth then?"

"A little. We transferred all over, wherever Dad was commanded. You know how it is." She shrugged. "Guess that's part of why I'm so close to my sisters, too. We were all each other had." She smirked suddenly, shaking her head. "Here I am rambling on about myself though. What about you? What's your family like? Military brat too?"

Shepard froze, his breath stopping. Fuck. He loosened his fists and forced himself to exhale, trying to take steady breaths. After his little fuck up on the Citadel, the last thing he wanted to discuss was his family. Ashley watched his reaction and stilled, concern edging its way onto her face as she parted her lips to speak. He stopped her. "I don't have a family. They're gone." He said simply, trying to keep his voice smooth. "I grew up on Mindoir. Slavers raided the colony."

Her eyes were wide and regretful. "Oh, shit. I'm sorry, Shepard… I read something about that, but I didn't put two-and-two together. Crap." The soldier's eyes widened further. "So that woman you were called to help, the slave, she was…?" He nodded. "Crap. I'm sorry, Shepard. I shouldn't have pushed you on that…" She looked at a loss, and he held his hand up.

"Don't worry about it, Ash. It's in the past. I'm dealing with it." There wasn't much energy behind his words, the sincerity of them questionable. Dealing with things had never been his strong suit. "Really, there's no reason you would have known." She nodded sadly. I don't want your pity. Shepard sighed, a hand running through his hair. A few moments past in silence, and she edged closer to him.

"Your crew is your family now, right?" She said quietly, trying to catch his gaze. He stared back at her in surprise. "I get it. I mean, the way you check in on everyone, get to know us all, you spend more time with your subordinates than other commanders I've had. And you'd think by the look on your face when one of us gets hit that you're about to have a coronary."

Shepard blinked, struck speechless. Obviously, he was easier to read than he thought. Ashley laughed then, seeing his stunned look. "Oh, come on. I might be a little rough with words sometimes – "

"There was that conversation where you commented on my needs as a man being understandable as long as they were directed at things that looked like a woman."

She slapped his arm. "Shut up." He laughed a little, the action cathartic. It was easy around her. "I'm just saying, you might not say a lot to everyone, but it's easy to see you care. We're your family now."

He nodded, offering a small smile. "Guess you are." He said quietly. He looked over at her, green eyes meeting brown. She was close, watching him with intensity. He suddenly became a little too aware of his arm brushing against hers. Her eyes didn't back down, just stared right back at him. Stubborn as always. He started to move, but a hand came around his wrist as he pushed himself from the desk.

"Shepard." She said quietly. His skin crawled with the feeling of her hand still lingering on his arm and the way she said his name. "I just wanted to say thank you, for what you did for those colonists. Saving them I mean. I thought after the way you handed it to Jeong, you might not care about more than getting the job done. But I get it. You were just trying to protect them. You went out of the way to save them. It's good to know you'll still look after your own, even as a Spectre."

"Ash, I'm not just trying to look after my own." Shepard frowned. "I didn't help them just because they were human. They were innocent people. They didn't deserve what happened to them. I would have done the same for a turian colony, or elcor." He watched her quietly, and she watched back. Her hand slipped from his arm. "Someday, I'm going to get the real reason why you hate aliens so much out of you." He said, smirking then. She rolled her eyes. "But for now, I need to sleep." He started away, then stopped, looking back. "Ash, about my family… I try not to keep that public knowledge. It usually gets out anyway, but do me a favor and don't spread it around? I'm not big on oversharing."

"Of course, Shepard." Ashley smiled. "Scuttlebutt's the gossip, remember? I wouldn't dream of it." Shepard laughed and walked towards the elevator.