Chapter Thirty Seven
"Red…!" Piper yelled as Red clutched Alex by the nape of her neck and slammed her into the wall. Piper grabbed at Red's shirt, Red didn't budge.
"You knew she was using and you didn't tell me?" Red seethed, Alex struggled against Red. Piper felt real terror pulse through her body, it was sobering.
"Red, no…I'm drunk-I say stupid stuff when I'm drunk, like-like, that song by Adelle, 'someone like you', why would she wanna find someone like him again…because obviously, he'd just leave her again…" The words failed. Piper winced as Red turned back to Alex, she headbutted Alex hard.
Alex dropped to the ground, blood gushed from her nose. Red kicked Alex in the stomach.
"Hey! Hey!" Piper got between Red and Alex, "isn't there like a code…"
This made Red pause for thought.
"You know, like you don't kick someone when they're down…?!" Piper asked, partially shouting partially panicking. Red seethed, giving Alex a long look, she warned, "If I ever catch you alone…" Red gestured at her neck, the message was clear, Alex was dead meat if Red ever caught her alone.
"Eloquent." Piper muttered at Red, she noticed a few inmates had gathered outside their cubicle.
"Careful whose side you take Chapman. I'm not someone you should fuck with."
"I don't really, I don't really," Piper had never felt so nervous in her entire life, but she had to stand up for Alex somehow. She cleared her throat, "I don't really fuck with older women."
A few inmates barked a laugh at Red, Red turned and shot them all a look that silenced them immediately. Red stepped closer to Piper, "that's strike one."
"Red, stop acting crazy, who knows what's happening with Nicky, and you know me and Alex are good eggs."
"Look around you, Chapman, this is where good eggs come to die." Red said, her words rolled off her tongue effortlessly. Laced in self-righteous disdain. Piper waited for Red to walk away before she turned to help Alex to her feet. If Piper had learnt anything in Litchfield, it was never to turn your back on a crazy woman.
Alex caught her breath, Piper took her sleeve and dabbed the blood from Alex's nose. Alex flinched, it was sore.
"Move out of my way, people." Piper ordered.
The inmates made a hole as Piper led Alex through the crowd by the arm.
"Brooke!" Piper called from the crowd, Brooke hid behind some inmates. Piper scowled, "oh, that's honourable…really honourable." Brooke shot her a helpless look.
"We're on our own. Come on." Piper grumbled, she was starting to feel a hangover coming on.
No one had the guts to speak out against Red, who held the title for toughest nut to crack at Litchield, despite her slocking. Piper had though, it was out of character for Piper to put her neck on the line like that.
Alex glanced at Piper, who was muttering something to herself. Piper had always been funny drunk. Strike that, Piper was funny sober, drunk she was hilarious. Alex's heart sank, so many memories and what of them? Resenting eachother out of stubbornness when they were stuck together? Life sucked sometimes.
"You did something stupid." Piper said.
"So did you. Just now, with Red."
"Red will calm down, Alex, but Nicky could be dead. Do you understand what that means? She could be dead and you could have prevented it."
Alex shook her head, she wasn't taking the heat for that. She knew she fucked up by not stopping Nicky but Nicky is an adult.
"Don't do that-don't shake your head and give yourself some twisted justification, Alex. You could have ended someone's life."
"I was gonna say thank you, but I think fuck you will do just fine, so…" Alex gave Piper a nod. Piper looked at her.
"Fuck you." Alex said firmly, "it's not my fault Nicky made her own choices. I'm not her mother."
"Oh, right, because you used to listen to yours so well."
"Don't you dare talk to me about my mom. Don't you fuckin' dare."
Piper inhaled slowly, summoning patience.
"The day you learn to take any responsibility for any of the fucked up things you do, call me." Piper said and got up to leave, but not before adding, "actually, don't." With that, Piper walked away. Alex watched her go, without looking back Piper called, "you're welcome by the way!"
Alex stuck up her middle finger at Piper. Sometimes there was just too much shit between two people for things to ever be okay again, it didn't matter how much they loved each other, that's just how it was.
Three days had passed since the Nicky debacle and Piper rarely saw Alex in the main hall at lunch, now and then Morello would disappear for a while and Piper assumed she was with Alex. Piper had bumped into Alex once, but Alex did an amazing job of acting like Piper didn't exist. She walked right past her. Piper thought it would have hurt less if Alex pushed past her. There was something so cold about seeing non-existent to someone.
Rose however, had completely abandoned Alex and been spending more and more time with Piper. Things hadn't really progressed, other than a make out session. It was harmless puppy love for now, Piper thought, comfortable with the notion. Alex was the only woman Piper had really gone down that road with. Rose was a few years younger than Piper and Alex, but she was worldly just the same. Piper was secretly grateful for the fresh blood in Litchfield, the politics between everyone else was becoming too much. It was as if everyone Alex and Piper knew, themselves included, were waiting with baited breath on whether Nicky would pull through.
Oxygen masks and tubes was the last thing Piper heard about Nicky. "What's on your mind, blondie?" Rose asked.
"Just…thinking." Piper mustered, she couldn't help but feel melancholy about Nicky and Litchfield. She didn't want to discuss it with Rose, or anyone else for that matter. She was doing her best to keep it together because moving forward was hard. Somehow Piper was standing still and everything she cared about was running into her and ricocheting off in all directions, like Larry, Polly, Piper's own parents and god, Alex. Freakin' Alex. The irony of being physically the closest and somehow emotionally and mentally the furthest from the person you can never abdicate from your heart, was not lost on her.
A warm hand found Piper's waist, it grabbed her attention. Rose had slid her hand beneath Piper's shirt and lowered it to her waist, enjoying Piper's soft skin. She Piper close. Piper didn't breathe, she simply looked at Rose like a deer caught in the headlights. Being wanted wasn't the worst feeling in the world, but …but…Piper wracked her mind for any excuse not to give in, to stop things from progressing, but the fact it terrified her so much angered her. She hadn't pledged her life and soul to Alex. Piper was a free woman…right?
Piper placed a gentle hand on Rose's cheek, "it's…too soon." Piper whispered, not wanting to disturb the fragile pleasance between them. Rose gave Piper a wink and shrugged it off, pulling her hand away.
"My bad." Rose confessed. Piper cleared her throat, her cheeks were burning red.
Get a grip. Man up, Piper lectured herself, Or you're gonna lose another good thing because of Alex.
"I'll see ya," Rose said with a one-sided smile. Piper straightened, "w-where you going?"
"For a walk…I'd ask you to come, but I don't wanna rush you." She smirked at Piper, who flinched at the gorgeous inmate. After Rose left, Piper slumped onto her cot and thought about Nicky.
It had been four days since Piper had put the brakes on things with Rose, she hadn't really seen her since, except for the lunch line. The good news was Nicky was out of danger, the inmates were all waiting on hearing when she'd be back.
As Piper left the main hall, she bumped into Red.
"If you're headed to the showers, tell Vause I thought about what she said…and we're even."
Piper raised an eyebrow, "oh…okay. Sure…" Whatever Alex had said had worked. She was in the all clear. Piper altered her direction and headed for the showers, it was strange Alex was using the shower in the afternoon. Normally inmates showered first thing.
As Piper rounded the corner, she heard a moan, what made it worse was that it was a familiar moan. It was Alex. Piper couldn't work out if she was hurt or furious that Alex was fucking someone when Piper couldn't even take Rose touching her skin. She headed for the shower cubicle and knocked on.
"Alex?"
There was a pause, Piper crouched, seeing two pairs of feet.
"Open up." Piper ordered, "now." It was as if Piper wanted Alex to open the door and confirm her worst fears, how much more could Piper hurt, she figured.
"Now's not good." Alex tried.
"Open the fucking door, Alex."
Another long silence. Then the door unlocked and creaked open. Piper had to blink back tears, it wasn't sadness, it was like being punched hard in the face. Rose and Alex were hooking up.
"Hey Blondie," Rose said, as charming as always.
Alex didn't move a muscle, it was as if she was waiting to determine Piper's reaction. Piper nodded, not speaking, she backed away.
"Fuck…" Alex muttered, she grabbed a towel and wrapped it around herself, "Piper…" Alex began, but Piper started walking away, not fast. But a slow, stunned walk. As though she was finally waking up to some awful truth.
"Piper, she said you guys weren't a thing." Alex explained as she followed Piper into the chapel, Piper didn't respond. A tear streamed down her cheek and she couldn't even bring herself to wipe it away for the sake of pretending to be tough.
"Are you mad?" Alex asked, as if she was clueless to the destruction she always seemed to cause. Piper continued walking, not bothering to respond. Now Alex was really worried.
"Piper, hey!" Alex said, grabbing Piper's arm, "she said you guys weren't a thing-"
"We weren't a thing because you and me? We were a thing." Piper said, her voice catching in her throat.
Alex drew a blank, "what?"
"I just realised something…" Piper smiled, blinking back her tears.
"Piper, don't cry," Alex said sincerely, "please don't…" She touched Piper's cheek. Piper didn't move to brush her hand aside, which scared Alex even more.
"Pipes."
"I've just realised that I love you so much that I can't even stand someone else touching my skin unless it's you…but you? You love me so little that you can't wait to fuck the brains out of anyone," Piper's voice cracked, "I don't even cross your mind when you're making those choices." Piper's mouth hung open as if she herself were dangling off the edge of that thought, deciding whether to jump or not.
"Piper, it's not like that at all…" Alex said heavily.
Piper finally pushed Alex's hand away from her cheek, "Alex, you have spent so long reminding me that we're over, and how worthless I am to you, and how I'm not good enough for you, you've been telling it me from day one, since I stupidly chose Larry over you. You gave me so many signs, and I just didn't get it…" Piper shook her head in disbelief, "I'm pathetic."
"Piper, shut up." Alex warned.
"You were the one for me. You always are." Piper whispered sadly, "but I'm just as good a fuck as anyone for you."
"You don't know what you're talking about Pipes."
"This is that moment. The one where everything changes forever." Piper whispered, her heart caving in her chest, "and the story's over, but hey… think of the story we'll have." Piper gave Alex a sad smile and walked away. Alex remained stuck where she stood. Piper's words hung in the growing distance between them, paralysing Alex.
This is that moment. The one where everything changes forever.
Game over.