BLD11

Forgiveness

(A/N: happy April fools day! even youtube got in on it. I'm sorry this took a while to get out, but i managed to write it in a day, so yeah. we get more on Alluka here, as well as Kurapica being self-reflective. so yeah)

A gentle breeze brushed a strand of hair across Kalluto's face. Feitan moves to brush it aside, a slender hand caressing his forehead. His eyes flutter open, squinting against the sun.

"What time is it?"

"Four, why?"

Kalluto closes his eyes and lets his head thud against the grass, "I'm not going back inside for a while."

Feitan moves to lie next to the younger boy, observing his through slit eyes. They had been out in the garden for a few hours, enjoying the sunshine. The day was mostly wasted, as Killua ad left with Gon to retrieve Alluka, and nothing was to be done in their absence. Kurapica was in the library with Kuroro, talking about nerd stuff, and everyone else was out. Most of the girls were shopping, save for Machi and Marza, and everyone else was either "working" (this is the Phantom Troupe) or goofing off somewhere.

It was peaceful without everyone else, and Feitan rather enjoyed it.

"We should buy a house." He says without thinking.

Kalluto rolls over to look at him, "a house? Like, just for us?"

He nods, "yes… somewhere to stay between jobs. Somewhere… ours."

Kalluto looks back up at the clouds for a minute, "yeah…" he whispers softly, "that'd be nice. We could pretend to be normal, for a while at least."

Feitan couldn't help but smile at the thought. Imagine how simple it would be, a little house, maybe with a garden. He'd wear t-shirts and jeans, maybe people would think Kalluto was a girl. They'd be the quiet neighbors, keeping to themselves just enough. No one would have to know who they were. They'd just be Kallu and Fei, normal couple in a normal house. Maybe they'd have a little black and white cat.

"You know Fei…" Kalluto murmurs sleepily, "your grammar's gotten a lot better lately. I think it's because I talk to you a lot."

"Has it?" Feitan thinks, "now that you mention… I've been talking more too. I guess that old saying is true, practice makes perfect."

Kalluto was improving Feitan in every possible way. He smiled, and opened up to people more. Most times, he left the mask sitting on his bedside table, because he knew Kalluto wanted him to stop wearing it so much.

"I never thought, going into this, that I'd slowly become a different person. Well, I didn't think we'd actually get married either. But now, looking back, I'm really glad this has happened. I wasn't even close to happy before. I hated life, and happy people. It wasn't enough that I succeeded, everyone else had to fail and suffer. I was very angry at this world, and I thought everyone was angry at me. But I was wrong, oh so wrong. I'm still a torturer, and I'm still a spider, but I'm now even more than that."

"do you think they'll be okay?" Kurapica asks, without looking up from his book, "I mean, they're probably the best match of any spiders, but still, I'm a tad bit worried."

Kuroro shrugs, "I'm not worried, but then again I know Feitan a lot better than you do. He's not just the freaky guy we let torture people, he's actually one of our most intelligent members. Not very good at showing it, and he has a lot of anger issues, but he's not that nuts."

Kurapica set the book aside, "I suppose I'm not really one to speak, as I really don't know these people, but Feitan is acting much differently here than he did upon our first few meetings. I think Kalluto is having a very positive effect on him, as well as everyone else in the troupe."

"Well," Kuroro adds, "This is affecting you too. But we've covered that. I think we all needed something like this. We've all been caught up in our own goals, our own emotions. It's time we all took a step back and look at the pig picture. We've all had shitty lives, but that's something that can change."

Kurapica leans back in the plush armchair and stares at the ceiling fan. Kuroro certainly had a point. What point was there in going back to how things were before? No one was happy. And as horrible as it sounded, if the Kurta hadn't been slaughtered, he never would have met Gon and the rest, or become a nen user and a hunter. He'd never have been able to meet Melody, or Neon. He'd probably still be in that forest, fearing the outside world. He'd be a different person.

"I'm not sure I want to be that Kurapica." He admits, "Yes, my life has had problems, but I feel better about who I am today than who I would have been. Yes, I'm a bit of a 'mom-friend' to Gon and Killua, but they need that. I'm a part of something much bigger than myself now, and I don't regret any of that. Without me, their lives would change, and others would as well. Who knows, my troubled past may have inadvertently saved the whole universe!"

Alluka looked down at the letters in her hands. The first was from Kalluto, explaining what had transpired in her absence. The second, arriving on the same day from the same address, was from Leorio. He was contacted by a friend of a friend, who was researching things beyond the Known World. And he had seen a case like Alluka and Nanika before.

"So…" she whispers, "Kalluto's getting married, and we're invited to stay, huh?"

"We've never been to a wedding Allu!" Nanika replies, "I've heard that the bride wears a really pretty dress. Kalluto wears dresses already, so I'm sure he will."

"Of course Nani." She nods, "we'll probably be asked to be involved in the ceremony. If the man Leorio wrote of can get to us in time, we might be able to be in it both."

Yes, the man had a way to separate Alluka and Nanika into their own bodies. Of course they didn't have to, but they had talked it over the night before and decided it was a good idea. Alluka would, as the dominant soul, stay in the body they currently shared. Nanika's would be made using Alluka's own DNA with some minor adjustments. The doctor said Alluka could get a new one as well, for reasons we're all already aware of, but she declined. Alluka insisted she's already invested in the body she has, and would rather go about things the normal way. Leorio had a contact for such things as well.

"Are you sure about this Allu? You're missing out on a really big opportunity here!"

"I'm sure Nani. For one, it's dangerous to transfer a dominant soul. Also… I guess it kind of feels like I'm taking the easy way out. And whether they like it or not, I'm a Zoldyck. We don't take the easy way on anything! Besides, I don't need a whole new body, just a few minor adjustments to the one I already have. The rest of it works just fine."

"I'm sorry Allu… this is all probably because of me. If I weren't here you'd be a different person."

"Nanika, I don't want to be who I would be without you! Yeah, sure it'd be easier and my family would like me more, but I'm proud of who you've helped me become." Alluka insists, "I'm happy like this. I'm happy now. The whole reason I'm even going through with this is to give you that opportunity. Right now it's my life we're both living. You deserve a life of your own."

"Thank you Alluka!"