BLD17

(A/N: one month and I'm out of school! I'm gonna try and finish this up before then, but I can't make any promises.)

ch.17: love

The dress had arrived at last, and everyone was excited. Well, almost everyone. Kalluto hadn't seen Feitan all day! Shal told her not to worry, that Feitan was probably just torturing some small animal, but he was still worried.

Kalluto hadn't been having second thoughts, but he was thinking Feitan might. Yes, even after all those speeches, the gifts, and the kiss… was there love there? Kalluto wasn't sure of his end, but he knew he felt something.

He gently let his fingers drag across the soft smooth fabric, eyes wandering to each shadow. It was the most beautiful thing he had ever laid eyes on.

Killua sat down next to him, hands in his pockets. "Hey…" he murmured.

"Hey," Kalluto replied, "have you seen Feitan today?"

Killua nodded, "he went out early to the garden with that weird box of tools he has. I'll bet we're down a rabbit or two."

The younger let out a shaky sigh, "Killua, do you think he loves me? Just a little bit?"

The white haired boy looks off, deep in thought.

"How the hell should I know? I've spoken to him twice!" Killua thought, "Though, they haven't been too touchy-feely. I highly doubt he's an outwardly emotional guy, so he's probably just holding his feelings back without realizing it. He thinks he's being clear, when really no one knows what he's feeling."

With a nod, Killua looks back up, "I think he does. A bit, at the very least. He probably is hiding it subconsciously. Feitan isn't trying to be distant, that's just his personality."

Kalluto takes a deep breath and nods. Killua, knowing his brother had a lot to think about, left the room.

Kalluto curled up on the plush couch with the dress laid out on one side. His head rested gently on the edge of the skirt, cool fabric soothing his mild headache from all the stress.

"Pink roses or white? What sort of candy in the desert bar? What color should the ribbon on the bouquet be? Does my fiancé actually love me? One of those things is not like the other…." He rolls onto his back, "I know Feitan wants to get married, but is it because he cares, or because he cares about his pride? I trust Killua, but still…"

The door creaked open and Kalluto sprang up, dizzying from sudden movements. Machi stood in the doorway, her normal outfit replaced with shorts and a tank top, much similar to
Kalluto's current outfit.

She smiles warmly and walked over, placing two paper coffee cups on the table on front of them.

"Dark chocolate mocha, your favorite," she announces, "I heard you were having a stressful day, so I brought you one."

Kalluto smiles, and takes a long slow sip of the bitter-sweet drink. Letting out a content sigh, he leans against the cushions, "thanks Machi."

She makes herself comfortable, sitting on the arm of the couch, "So, I heard you were worried about a certain tiny ball of sadistic fury…"

Kalluto couldn't help but giggle at the rather accurate description.

"And so I came to alleviate your worries. You know I'm always right. And let me tell you, whether that little shithead knows it or not, he's madly in love with you. He's only killed like, five animals since we've been here! That's a miracle."

Kalluto stared at his coffee, contemplating. Feitan had been acting different. But not a bad different, he was simply more present, more involved. Like he'd rather be with Kalluto and the others than torturing a small animal.

"And Kalluto…" Machi adds, getting up to leave, "I think you love him too."

Feitan was indeed torturing a small animal, a rat in this case. He wasn't going to kill something Kalluto liked, like the rabbits or sparrows. No, a big ugly rat like Illumi would work just fine.

He liked no being so dependent on torture. Sure, it was still fun, and great stress relief, but it wasn't like it was all he thought about. Yes, there was a time where if Feitan went three hours without causing someone or something physical pain he'd start to lash out at the other Spiders. And he was much happier now that he had something to focus on.

13 days. Less than two weeks until the wedding. And it'd be a lie to say he wasn't nervous. No, Feitan wasn't nervous, he was utterly petrified.

So here he was, sticking pins in a rat in a desperate attempt to curb the tempest in his heart. Nervous, anxious, excited, confused, bloodthirsty, humorous, he was all over the place. If you old him six months ago that he'd be getting married, to Kalluto of all people, he'd kill you on the spot. But here he was.

Next to him on the bench sat an opal ring, and a silver one with black designs next to it. He took them everywhere now, out of habit more than anything else.

Giving up on the rat, he left it to struggle and die. Instead he started working on his latest drawing, a suggestion from a fan. His gift to Kalluto more valuable than any engraved stone of ring. A portrait.

But it was coming along slowly. He kept erasing things and going back, futilely trying to capture Kalluto's beauty. But even though most others would call it a perfect likeness, it wasn't enough for him. He wanted to see the light in his eyes, feel the heat of his blush. He wanted to let the world experience even a tiny fraction of how amazing Kalluto was.

But not too much, he wasn't fond of sharing.

Meanwhile in Heavens Arena, Hisoka was ordering airship tickets. Too bad he'd miss a fight, but the wedding was much more important. He'd went to see the guy in person and told him why he had to reschedule, and the guy was totally okay with it.

Hisoka was infuriated, if you can't tell by the oddly polite behavior. To think that his own best friend, or the closest thing he had to one, would be so mean to Kalluto and Feitan. It wasn't just because Hisoka was obliged to side with the spiders for work reasons, he truly disagreed with what Illumi was doing. Conjuring up a stupid wedding for the sake of killing your brother just because he doesn't want to be an assassin? Even in Hisoka's book, that was too far.

The kid was growing up to be successful. Kalluto, Killua, and now little Alluka were exploring the world, chasing their dreams, and growing into wonderfully ripe fruits! Why would anyone want to stunt the growth of someone they cared about? Shouldn't Illumi be proud of all the things those kids accomplished?

"If it were my brother, I'd cry happy tears! A match made in heaven, those two are~. Illumi's probably just jealous that they get to have dreams, and he keeps being held down." Hisoka frowns, a sudden idea flowing into his mind, "Wait, is he being held down? By who? His parents have already given up hope of their children obeying them, why doesn't he just leave if he wants to? The only one holding him back is… himself. I get it now…~"

(A/N: Yay, Hisoka's smart, as usual. He's a creep, but he's a really intelligent guy. It only took him like a paragraph of internal-monologue to figure it all out. But will he help? Will Illumi listen to Hisoka, the Voice of Reason? Probably not, let's be honest here. Even when Hisoka IS right, Illumi will do the exact opposite just to be a shithead

Also whatever happened to that cool OC I had in here earlier? Marza, where you go? She'll be a bridesmaid or something, I'll make up an excuse as to why she disappeared…)