Disclaimer: Not mine.

Chapter 4:

The Detour of Hats and Bells

Storybrooke, Jefferson Mansion

The evening after the Hat Burning...

"Jefferson, I need your help," Gwen stated quietly, as they both watched Grace pack for her weekend with "Paige's" parents.

"Ah," he nodded sagely, and with a bit of bitterness, "So this is why you offered to take me out for drinks 'to take my mind off things.' You need a favor." Turning stiffly to her, he hissed with intense resentment, "The answer is no. I am done 'helping people.' I just got Grace back."

Rolling her eyes, she snapped, "I'm not taking you out to butter you up. I'm taking you out so that you are a semi-sane man when Grace returns Sunday afternoon and she doesn't have tea with the Mad Hatter, you nitwit. And contrary to what you are thinking, what I am asking you to do doesn't involve you leaving this house."

She waited and watched, and when his shoulders relaxed a smidge and his body angled itself towards her, she decided that was as receptive as he was going to get. "I need you and your eccentric habit of spying on people with that fancy telescope of yours. That's all."

"That is never all," he noted acerbically. "And who would I be spying upon?"

"Right now, King George, if you can find him," was her immediate reply. "He nearly got Ruby killed."

After reminding Grace not to forget her toothbrush and to only bring one stuffed animal with her, he pointedly inquired, "And what shall I do with these observations?"

She shrugged, "Nothing at first. Let me know of anything of interest, things like his stealing magical red cloaks and such."

"Why do you care?"

She sighed heavily and then faced him, meeting his piercing gaze head on and letting him see the depth of her pain, "I don't want there to be another Billy."

"And I am tired of the pawns being sacrificed for the principals' happiness."

Jefferson looked pensively down at the stuffed rabbit in his hand, then over to his daughter, back to the rabbit, and then back up to her. When his blue eyes met hers, there was a quiet determination and grim acceptance to them. But all he said was a simple –

"Okay."

~0~

Storybrooke Woods, August's Trailer

Two days after Gwen & Hooks' night in jail...

"I don't see why you insist on meeting out here for this. It's positively unhygienic," Jefferson whined. "And you're my cleaning lady and friend, so no one would suspect us having a chat at my house."

"I won't risk it," was Gwen's curt reply. "I don't mix business with the personal, if I can help it." She shoved a thermos of hot tea into his hand, huffing, "And besides it is not unhygienic. I cleaned this trailer when Billy put it up for sale and again after August… regressed to real ginger-boy."

The ex-portal jumper giggled at her vehement self-defense and then asked with more gravity, "So what did you glean from those files of yours?"

"That although Regina and Rumpelstiltskin were exceedingly evil for creating and using the Curse, they had their limits."

"Which were?"

"Did you know that before time was returned to Storybrooke upon Emma's arrival, there was not one single house of pleasure in the whole town? Not even one little apartment with a red porch light?" She answered indirectly. When he shook his unruly head, she continued, "Yep, not a one. But afterwards, Graham arrested three women for solicitation."

"And now there's Agustino's strip club down near the docks." Jefferson added shrewdly. Mademoiselle Mayor had tried to shut down the establishment – not that there was anything wrong with erotic dancing per se, it was just that more than that was most assuredly going on behind the scenes. However, there was no proof and there were no provisions in the town charter against it and this was the land of the free, so it remained. The lawyer of the shell company that 'owned' the business saw to that. Jefferson was able to identify one of the silent partners as Agustino. They were still trying to find out who the others were. The problem with a town being behind the times was that everyone was still using the paper system and her newly acquired hacking skills were of little present use.

"And before the Curse was broken, there was never a hint of drugs. The only substance abuse charges were brought up against Leroy. But now," she slumped morosely into the worn sofa. "Now, they're pouring into town because people can't take the fact that they are trapped in this tiny corner of a strange world with little hope of getting back home or even that it is worthwhile to go back to with all the ogres."

"It's enough to drive anyone mad."

At this quiet and knowing remark, Gwen reached over and patted his hand sympathetically. They sat there in momentary silence, before he asked, "Anything else?"

Pushing the files towards him, she answered more briskly, "Yeah, the three ladies charged with solicitation were bailed out by Foxworthy. Graham suspected him of being their pimp."

Jefferson scanned the file, quickly picking up on what she had. "His known associates are the dollar theater and strip club owner Agustino and the arcade owner Driver?"

"Nice little operation they got going, don't you think? Driver introduces some poor depressed adolescent to the wonders of euphoria, and then when they are good and hooked and can't pay for their habit, they can work it off directly for his supplier Agustino, who I suspect is that puppet show owner Stromboli." She cynically theorized.

"So which of your do-gooders are you going to pass this on to, now that Swan and Co. are back?"

Gwen carefully considered this. She wanted to keep her anonymity, and she just knew suspicious Swan and Prince David wouldn't respect that. They would gnaw on the mystery until they were satisfied that the source was trustworthy.

She could give the information to her former co-worker Ashley (a.k.a. Princess Ella) or her hairstylist Giselle (a.k.a. Rapunzel) and both of them would pass on the information to Mademoiselle Mayor no questions asked, but she did not want to keep using them. Ella had a daughter, and if it was ever discovered by these vile men that she might know the mayor's 'Concerned Citizen'… well, she would not risk it.

What she needed was a go-between. Someone who had connections to both the do-gooders and the underworld. Someone who could defend themselves and didn't have any innocent dependents to fear for. Someone that she could trust. She just hoped he was up for the job.

"I'll put it all on a flash-drive and then slip it into the mayor's stack of mail. She'll keep Swan focused on the true threats." She finally asserted.

Jefferson snorted, "Lord knows we have enough of those to go around."

"You could say that again." Gwen sighed despondently. There were enough villainous heads on this beastie to rival Medusa's serpentine tresses.

"Lord knows – "

"Don't."

She had snapped at him, but his childish, Hatter-reminiscent antic had put a smile on her face.

Why was it that it seemed that only men with questionable tethers to sanity were able to do so?

~0~

Storybrooke, Office of the Mayor

The next morning...

"How can you trust a faceless person? How do you know that these names are even accurate and not just people that the 'Concerned Citizen' has a vendetta against?" Emma challenged. "Or that it isn't the guilty party and/or Grandpa George trying to waste our time sending us on a wild goose chase?"

"I don't," Belle stated matter-of-factly, shocking her almost daughter-in-law into silence. "And I'm not asking you to either. What I am asking you to do is to look into these people to verify this tip."

As Emma scanned the list again, Belle mentally went over it herself:

- Agustino, a.k.a. Stromboli?, dollar theater and strip club owner

- Driver, a.k.a. 'the Coachman'?, arcade owner, host of underground poker games?

- Frank Foxworthy, a.k.a. 'Honest John' W. Foulfellow?, accountant for above businesses, bookie?

- Charlie Harlequin, a.k.a. Gideon 'the mute'?, arcade employee, frequent strip club customer

"These are all Pinocchio villains," the blond sheriff noted incredulously.

"I know. I have read a book or two, Emma," she dryly replied. "And from what I've read about criminal behavior, people gravitate to who and what they know. So why wouldn't they reconnect with each other after the Curse is broken and then repeat offenses?"

Emma had no answer to this, but there was still an exasperating amount of mulishness to her posture. 'Intractable woman' was right. Curse Regina.

The former mayor had not been overly gracious when she learned that in her absence the town held a re-election for her position and that upon her return no one wished for her to resume her duties. Her parting shot as she collected her personal effects from the office had been to wish her the 'joys of a Sheriff Swan-induced headache.' Beastly woman.

Resisting the urge to rub her temples, she confronted the Savior head-on, "Look, Emma. I know you don't like how I run things. I know you prefer to go back to having you and your parents be the leaders of this town." She held up her hand to silence the woman's protest, "Don't deny it. Before you left for Neverland, you did not have to consult with or be accountable to an entire committee of royals, and now you do. I do too, and I sympathize with your frustrations completely – because I am the one who has to do the explaining to Prince Thomas and Eric, Princess Ella and Abigail, and her consort Frederick."

Belle let that sink in before continuing, "Before Neverland, everyone was content to let your parents lead because they are exceptional at it. But when they were gone, there was a vacuum to fill – which King George was quick to point out."

Emma's paternal grandfather had been the one to call for the re-election, seizing the chance like any skilled opportunist, and he had the support of quite a few businessmen and women who wanted stability. This, of course, had led to the mad rush to find a suitable opposing candidate. Thomas' father had no desire to have that kind of responsibility again. He was enjoying being the doting grandfather too much. Thomas and Ella had very little actual ruling experience, and neither did Abigail and Frederick. Prince Eric had more experience, but he was consumed with his search for Ariel, who had disappeared around the time Ursula and Maleficent had resurfaced.

And then Ruby had opened her big fat mouth and revealed that Belle – "Rumple's Girl" who had protected the town with her lover's spell – had ruled her father's domain in his stead while he, Gaston, and the men had been off fighting the ogres. A fact which she had only learned from a tipsy Belle on girls' night. This revelation led to her being nominated and then eventually being elected. Her persuasive skills, the ones she had been using to keep Rumple on the slightly straight and nearly narrow, had come in handy in the debate, but even more so when dealing with a cabinet/council/committee of opinionated royals, who all want what is best for their people.

"And," she concluded, "I am the one who will have to explain to them why I didn't have every lead investigated or why I thought the exploitation of their youth was not considered a priority."

"How about the more immediate concern of Ursula, Maleficent, and His Majestic-Assness?"

Ah, yes, the Terrible Trio. Like she needed to be reminded of them.

How to describe the problem of Ursula? Well, she is the combination of power-hungry Cora, revenge-seeking Regina, and the deal-making Dark One. Her cursed persona was Mrs. Octavia Bay, owner of Storybrooke's seafood cannery; a persona, which she maintained until Regina and Rumple left town. As soon as they were gone, she let everyone know that she was open for magical deal-breaking business.

Her first customer was Maleficent. The Sea Witch restored the sorceress to her former glory for the low, low price of promising to stay out of her way and of gifting her the curse that would return the Little Mermaid to her natural state. It had gone downhill from there.

Maleficent's first step was to acquire herself a magical beasty companion – and only a certain werewolf would do. Princess Abigail's Frederick and her appointed interim-sheriff had been able to rescue Red with the help of the fairies, but the poor dear was still recovering from that ordeal.

And as for the once-upon-a-time king, she wished he would just go back to the rock he had crawled out from under. Ever since defeating the 'upstanding Mr. Spencer' in the election, she had been putting out his fires. He had been using his influence with the town's businessmen to raise their prices, cut their employees' benefits and pay, evade taxes, and cease their donations to charity; all in order to demoralize her support base. She would not be surprised to learn that he was helping and being helped by the criminals that her 'Concerned Citizen' was after.

"By all means, Emma, make them your top priority. All I am asking is that you not become so obsessed with them that you don't take the time to look into this too, or that you are so suspicious of my source that you ignore valuable information, which could save someone's life – like it did for your godmother."

Emma could say nothing to the latter claim, as it was a well-known fact that without her mysterious source's information, they would never have been able to locate where Maleficent had chained up Ruby. And so she (finally) nodded in acceptance and picked up the list before making her way at the door.

Belle stopped her just as she was halfway through, calling out, "Oh, and Emma? Try accepting help from your peers. I know Abigail and your parents have a mixed history, but she and Frederick make a great team of Brains-and-Brawn. And the others have proven themselves capable as well."

She nodded her head again and then left, for once letting Belle have the last word. A feat which the mayor had thought would not happen – at least not before her beau dropped his 'I-know-best' attitude and manipulative ways and/or more likely hell froze over.

But this was just further proof that miracles could happen in this modern world. How…inspiring.

A/N: Questions? Comments? Concerns?

The next chapter: The Crusader and the Pirate