Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Marvel or any quotes you might recognise.

NYCTOPHILIA

Chapter 4

"I have love in me the likes of

which you can scarcely imagine

and rage the likes of which you would not believe.

If I cannot satisfy the one, I will indulge in the other."

-Mary Shelly, Frankenstein-

Over a thousand years ago in Vanaheim…

Loki stared at his reflection in the mirror and adjusted the collar of his coat.

"Loki, what in the nine realms are you wearing?" His mother asked as she entered his room. "You can't meet your future betrothed dressed like that!"

He sighed and turned to face his mother.

"Mother, she already refused to meet me when we arrived yesterday. And unless her mother drags her here by her hair, she is not going to do so today. Contrary to believe, it's not every girls dream to be married to the second prince of Asgard, especially not when she is forced into it."

"Loki, my son. Malia is just a little shy and overwhelmed, she'll come around. In a few years when you both come of age she will be more susceptible to the prospect of your betrothal. She is well suited for you and I know in my heart that you will grow to love each other deeply." Frigga said as she gently laid her hands on his shoulders.

"How do you know this? What if she hates me and can't stand to be in the same room as me?" He asked as his eyes shone with uncertainty.

She laid her right hand against his cheek and smiled softly up at him.

"I have seen it. Your love is written in the stars. Together you will concur all and be unstoppable. She's your soul mate." She brushed a stray lock of his ebony hair behind his ear before she continued. "She is in the gardens, go to her.

He sighed again and with a nervous heart he left for the gardens.

He found her sitting cross-legged on the grass in the shade of a big willow tree with her back to him. Her dark brown hair fell in soft curls to her waist. He slowly sneaked closer until he stood directly behind her and peeked over her shoulder. She was holding a small white flower in her left hand and trying to conjure a replica of it in her right hand, but with each attempt she failed horribly and he couldn't help but smile at the words of annoyance that she whispered to herself.

"Don't force it, just let it flow gently." He said as he stepped around her and sat down across her on the grass. "Let me show you."

He rubbed his fingers together until a green mist covered them and slowly opened his hand and an exact replica of the flower appeared in his palm. He heard her draw in a breath of amazement and slowly looked up at her.

His heart stopped as he stared back into the most beautiful luminescent green eyes. His eyes travelled over her perfect complexion and lingered on her slightly parted full pink lips. She was the most breath-taking sight his eyes have ever beheld.

"By the Norns you are exquisite." He breathed out and a light blush coloured his cheeks as he realized that he said it out loud.

A shy smile formed on her lips and she looked down at the white flower in her hand.

"Will you teach me how to do it right?" She asked softly as she nervously played with the hem of her dress.

A huge smile formed on his lips as his heart raced with excitement.

"It will be my pleasure."

They spent the rest of the day talking about magic and laughing at her many failed attempts to copy his illusions. He didn't tell her his name in fear that she would somehow reject him. It became a guessing game, and after what felt like a hundred names and their faces hurt from all the laughing, she still didn't know who he truly was. Loki's heart felt as if it could burst and never in his life have he been so happy and felt so appreciated. With every new spell he showed her and watched her eyes lit up and shine with admiration his heart jumped in his chest.

After they parted with a promise that they will meet again the next day he felt like he was floating on a cloud over the high towers of Asgard as he walked back to the palace. Not even his brother's oafish behaviour or constant teasing could wipe away the happy smile on his face. His mother just gave him a knowing smile and he returned it with glee. That night he fell asleep with the image of beautiful green eyes and the sound of the sweetest voice in his mind.

The next day he found her under the same willow tree, but as soon as their eyes met he could sense that something was wrong. Her smile didn't reach her eyes and she seemed distant and troubled. He told her about the golden city of Asgard and promised that someday he would take her there and show her the pulsing rainbow bridge. After many failed attempts to lift her mood he couldn't take the uncertainty any longer. He gently took her hand in his and rested his other hand's fingers under her chin, forcing her to lift her head and look him in the eye.

"Malia, please tell me why you look so troubled? Is it something that I said or did? If so let me apologize.."

Her finger pressed against his lips stopped him mid-sentence and he just stared back into her sad green eyes. She took a step closer to him as she removed her finger from his lips and placed her hand against his chest. He swallowed hard as his heart began to race. She was so close that he could see the small specks of gold that sparkled in her eyes. Her hair smelled like apples and a lock gently blew across her lips in the breeze.

"I fear I have not been honest with you." She whispered and her eyes fell to her hand on his chest.

He suddenly felt as if he couldn't breathe as panic rushed through his whole body.

"I am promised to be betrothed to a Prince of Asgard. I have been hiding in the gardens like a coward ever since he arrived with his family. I know it sounds childish and very unbecoming of a lady, but…but I always dreamed that the day I would marry it would be for love, not for some inane political purpose. My mother is very disappointed in my behaviour and excused me this time, but when they return in a month I will have no other choice but to meet him. I… I don't even know your name, but… I am very fond of you. And it wouldn't be fair to you or Prince Loki if I kept meeting you like this. I am so sorry."

When his name fell from her lips it felt as if the gates of Valhalla opened for him. She stared back at him, her eyes swimming in unshed tears and in that moment he knew he loved her. He loved her with every cell in his body, with every breath he took. He knew that from this day he would love her for eternity.

He caressed her soft cheek with his other hand as a single tear silently rolled down her cheek.

"Malia." He whispered and leaned closer to her until their lips were only a breath apart. "I love you and I will love you for eternity."

He closed the distance between them and pressed his lips softly against hers. A spark ignited between them and coursed through their bodies like a wild fire. He moved his lips against hers and her fingers curled into the material of his coat as she returned his kiss. He pulled her flush against his body and pressed his tongue softly against her bottom lip, begging permission to deepen the kiss even more. She opened her mouth and granted him entrance and as he pushed his tongue into her mouth she shivered in his arms and pushed her body even closer to his. A strange sensation rippled through him and he could feel his seidr being pulled to her and hers to his. Stars exploded behind his closed eyelids and he groaned into her mouth as the most wonder feeling he had ever felt washed over him.

They pulled apart both gasping for air, just staring into each other's eyes. He never wanted to let her go again. He wanted her by his side every day for the rest of their lives. He captured her lips again and poured all his love into the kiss.

"Malia! Malia!"

A girl's voice rang through the garden and she hastily pulled away from him, panic dancing in her eyes.

"Malia, I know you are hiding here somewhere. Mother is looking for you and I am not covering for you again. We are leaving the palace in five minutes and you better be waiting in the carriage when we get there."

Malia rolled her eyes and Loki had to stifle a laugh that threatened to escape from his chest.

"Malia? Did you hear me?"

They listened in silence as the footsteps of the girl faded away and when they were certain they were alone again they both let out a sigh of relief.

She smiled up at him for a second, but then her smile fell and a sad look crossed over her futures.

"I have to go." She whispered and he didn't miss the sad tone in her voice.

"Malia, I have to tell you something. I have also not been honest with you. I hope you will not be too angry with me. My name is… My name is L…" He started, but the sound of nearing footsteps stopped him just as he was about to tell her his name.

"Malia! We are leaving and I will not tolerate your bad behaviour any longer. If you don't show yourself right now I will take away your magic for a whole month."

Malia stiffened in his arms and her eyes went wide as she peeked over his shoulder in the direction of the woman's stern voice.

She quickly leaned forward and whispered in his ear.

"I will never forget our time together. I love you!"

She planted a quick kiss on his lips and darted away in the direction of the woman. He just stood there for the longest time as their voices faded and all he could hear were the leaves whispering in the breeze.

That night as he lay in bed all he could think of was her soft lips under his and her soft body close against his. Her sweet whispered confession of love and when he closed his eyes he could see her beautiful green eyes floating before him.

An urgent knock on his chamber doors tore him out of his sweet thoughts. He quickly sat up in his bed as the door swung open and he looked in to his mother's grieve streaked face. A frown formed between his brows as panic clutched his heart and he immediately jumped out of bed and rushed over to her.

She threw her arms around him and hugged him tightly to her body.

"Mother! What's wrong? What happened? Is it father? Thor?"

She shook her head against his shoulder and slowly pulled away from him and when their eyes met his heart stopped. Tears ran down her cheeks and she had trouble to calm herself enough to speak.

"Oh Loki, my lovely boy. It's Malia…"

He felt like he couldn't breathe and his whole body started to tremble.

"What… What about Malia?" He choked out as his grip around his mother tightened, as if he needed her to keep him upright.

"They were attacked at their home. They… they burned them… they burned them all alive!" His mother choked out between sobs. "Loki, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."

He felt it. He felt his heart break into a million pieces. His legs gave away under him and he fell to his knees, clutching his mother's dress in his hands.

"No!" He whispered as he shook his head from side to side.

"No, no, no, no!"

"NO!" He screamed and pushed his head into his mother's abdomen. Tears stung his eyes as he let out a shuddering breath. His whole body shook as he looked up to see his father stand in the doorway.

Like always Odin wore his stern expression and Loki's eyes fell to his father's hand where it gripped Gungir and he frowned at the small black spot on his hand, but before he could think any further on it his brother burst into the room.

When he met his brother's eyes it shone with sadness. If he only knew then that it will not be the last time Thor would look at him in that same way.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

The present…

Red

It clouded his vision as he clenched his fists so tight that his nails duck into his palms, threatening to draw blood. His chest heaved as he fought to gain control over his raging emotions. The hatred that burned through his veins for a man he once called father, a man who took the most precious thing from him and ruined it. A man he was willing to sacrifice everything for, just to be accepted, to be worthy, to be loved.

"I could have done it father! I could have done it, for you! For all of us!"

"No, Loki."

He unclenched his fists and released a blast of magic that threw the furniture in his cell against the walls and shattered them into pieces. He stared down at the destruction around him and a wicked grin formed on his lips. This was what he craved, chaos and destruction.

He was raised in a lie and he became a liar. He was born a monster and now he will become that monster.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

A/N: Thank you for everyone that followed and favourite this crazy piece of my imagination. Please let me know if I should continue of what you think of the story so far. I would really appreciate it to hear what your thoughts are.

Lots of Loki love.

R