Chapter 6

[Smallville Cemetery—about ten minutes earlier]

The sun shone brightly on Lowell County's largest cemetery on that day. The prairie wind billowed gently through the trees' canopies. A few birds serenaded the slumbering residents within the cast iron fence.

As only a few visitors entered the necropolis on that morning, it was the perfect time to talk….

Martha parked the truck beside the gate and glanced toward Clark. She'd tried to coax more than a few words out of him during the ride over from the farm to no avail. "We're here, Sweetie."

"I know, Mom. Sorry." He raised his eyes skyward and fought to keep the tears from forming. "I'm scared."

"Scared? Scared of what?" She set the parking brake firmly. "Clark, you've got nothing to be ashamed of. You're an award winning journalist. You're a hero to the world over. What's wrong?"

"That's great, Mom, I guess." He let out a big sigh. "But…."

"But what?" she pressed. "Clark, what is it?"

"I'm scared….scared that Dad thinks I failed. I turned my back on the farm. I went off with Lois to Metropolis. I left you and him behind," he admitted. "And now my personal life's falling apart. I'm just waiting for him to show up and say 'I told you so.'" He bowed his head feeling shamed.

She hugged him tightly. "Clark Kent, you get a hold of yourself right now. You are not a failure! Your Dad would say the same thing right now. We both left the farm, remember? I went off to Washington to serve our country in Congress. You're in Metropolis serving as a journalist and as Superman. We all have our tasks. Your Dad and I knew we'd have to share you with the world. We accepted that a long time ago. You're more than a mortal! Your life has demands that most can't deal with much less share with you. Have more faith in your Dad than that, Clark. You're dealing with the breakup and preparing to move on. He's proud of you. Understand me?"

"Mom, I…." He shook his head. "I just don't….feel…"

"I know, Baby." She tightened the embrace. "I'm here. And Dad's watching us. Have no doubt about that. Let's go and talk to him. Okay?"

"Okay." He felt a little better but still depressed. He opened the truck's door and brought out the daisies from their back field with care. "I'll follow your lead."

"We both know the way but sure," she relented. I wish he'd see that he isn't a failure. Why, Lois, did you do it like this? She led them through the necropolis' layers of stones and graves until they reached Jonathan's site. As she did twice per week, she kneeled in front of the marker and wiped the dust from it with a rag. Then she inspected the grass around it for weeds. "Hi, Honey. I wanted to come for a visit to make sure you're okay. The farm's doing all right. And look! Clark's come home for a visit! We couldn't have anything better now can we? He's having a hard time. Maybe we might help him find his focus?" She stood and looked back expectantly at her son. "Clark?"

He nodded while offering her a somber smile. Then he slowly shuffled across the yellowing grass toward the marker. Doubt nagged at his heart and weighed down his leaden feet. How can Dad accept me like this? I can't even be a real man. Didn't he say a man isn't defined by his accomplishments? He set the bouquet at the marker's edge and wiped his eyes off. "Hi, Dad. Sorry I haven't been by more. I keep you and Mom in my heart every day. I know I'm not on the farm but I've served in other ways. The Planet's a great place to work. I try to help people as Superman. I just wish I had more personal time for myself. You always told me that I need to look to others. You said to help others first. I just wish…wish….someone could help me." He fell to his knees.

She watched but did not intervene. Clark, why are you so hard on yourself? It isn't your fault!

Clark kneeled for several heartbeats in that spot. The dew soaked through his pants. He didn't speak lest he break down into a maddening series of sobs. His heart seared with Breakup's pain. He felt paralyzed.

Have faith, Clark. You won't always be alone, a familiar voice told him.

Clark jarred himself from the reverie and stared at the surrounding cemetery. "Mom, did you hear that?"

"Hear what?"

"Dad! He just spoke to me!" Clark realized.

I know you think of us, Son. I'm always watching. As your mother said, we're both so proud of you. Be alert though. Your next test is upon you. It is coming as we speak. Be ready, Jonathan's voice advised before fading away into thin air.

"He did? What did he say?" she wondered hopefully.

Clark breathed heavily while fighting his disbelief. "Dad said what you said earlier about being proud of me. He was also talking about my next test. It's about to begin or something. What could he be talking about? I can't fight like this!"

She shook her head. "Clark, you've always risen above everything. You can do this too. Dad and I know this. So do your friends and fellow heroes. We're counting on you. You have to count on yourself now. You can do this!

He conceded a nod for her benefit even if he still felt like a 195 pound weakling at that moment. "What can I do? What will it mean? What…."

Before he could go any further, his cell phone buzzed in his jeans' pocket.

"What?" He glanced at the caller ID. "Chloe? What?" He answered it. "Chloe, if you're going to be late, it's okay. I understand…."

"Clark! Glad I got a hold of you! I figured you'd be somewhere like Outer Mongolia or Tibet dealing with things! We have an emergency here! I need you here at the Ledger now!" Chloe replied urgently.

Through the connection, he heard her voice fluctuating and her heart beating furiously. "Chloe, are you okay? What's going on?"

"It's not me." Chloe glanced down at Lana who spasmed on the floor in front of her. "It's Lana. Clark, she's having some sort of seizure. I'm sorry….I know you're having a hard enough time right now but she needs a hospital in Metropolis."

He stared at the phone in disbelief. He'd thought that Lana had long since left the country. Now she's back? "Chloe, I can't…touch her. You know she's deadly for me."

"Clark, come on! Okay. You don't know she got rid of the suit a few years back. She's not infected with the kryptonite any more. Problem is she has cancer from the exposure. She needs you! Please!" Chloe clarified while trying to keep her patience. She understood that bringing Lana into the picture really pretzeled Clark's guts right now. But she had no choice.

His jaw dropped. She has cancer? He recalled how Lana had saved the Daily Planet by absorbing the radiation from the Toyman's bomb. He remembered how she'd never hesitated in doing so…even if it meant losing their time together….

…even if it meant sacrificing their love….

"Clark? Clark!" Chloe demanded.

"I got it. I'll be right there," Clark told her before closing the phone. He turned to Martha. "Guess we know what my test is. Lana needs me."

"Go to her, Clark. Dad and I both understand. I love you, Sweetheart," his mother affirmed.

"I'm on it." He turned toward the grave. "I'll do my best by her, Dad. I promise." He flashed the marker a firm smile before running off at super speed for Smallville's downtown.

Martha watched the blur disappear into the surrounding trees. Then she turned toward the grave herself. "Clark's about to rediscover something vital. Let's hope this time it will be real." She blew him a kiss. "Sorry the visit's short but Clark may need me." She headed for the truck and drove off into the morning scene.

The show was about to get underway…..

[Ledger—about a minute later]

Clark ran as hard and fast as he could manage from the graveyard toward town. He wanted to fly but didn't know if he'd be seen by somebody. Frankly his mind and guts were in such knots he didn't know if he could.

All he knew was that Lana was in pain….pain from cancer…pain from her sacrifice….

She needed a hero. She needed one now.

He'd failed her so many times before. He'd denied her faith and trust during their high school and college days. He'd come up short in helping her to redeem the darkness following the wedding to Lex. He couldn't give her an even relationship when she'd only wanted him and his warmth.

Even if it was still damaged by Lois' selfishness, his heart felt a sliver of the old warmth. It beat a little more regularly.

The recalled visage of Lana's eyes sparkling in the country sunshine and her hair billowing in the prairie wind melted Pain's ice. Her smile beckoned him like the north star in his night of despair….

Even if Hell and Kryptonite are in my way, I'm not failing her again! He set his jaw and jogged from the alley over to the Ledger's entrance. He barged in without knocking. "Chloe! CHLOE!"

"Clark, I'm right here," Chloe indicated from where she kneeled over her struggling friend. "Thank God!" She hugged him tightly. "I'm so sorry that this morning is going to Hell…"

"Thanks, Chloe." He gave himself a second to accept her condolences. Then he reminded her, "Lana needs me though." He forced his clashing emotions down into a controlled place. He looked his former girlfriend over with grave concern.

By now Lana was growing pale. Her skin glistened with sweat. She shook vehemently. Her breathing was shallow.

"Lana, it's me. It's Clark. I'm here," he told her. "Lana, please hang in there. Can you hear me?"

For a second, Lana opened her eyes. She managed a brief smile. "C…Clark. I'm…sorry…."

"Don't worry about that now. You've done nothing to me." He felt his heart rushing.

As if he'd reentered our galaxy from Krypton's, his strength rushed back into his limbs. His heart beat with purpose once again. His eyes met her weak glance with support and protectiveness.

"There's a cancer institute outside of Denver. I've done some benefits for the doctors there. They'll help us," he informed the pain wracked woman. He walked into the bathroom and shut the door.

"Clark! What the Hell?" Chloe demanded.

"Relax. I need to fly her there, Chloe," Clark pointed out while striding across the room in his Superman outfit. He gently swept Lana up in his arms. "I'm not failing her again."

"Have…faith," Lana gasped. "My…hero." Then she closed her eyes.

"I'll call when we get there, Chloe." His brain and heart surged with panic. Yet he made himself concentrate. His knees flexed along with his lower torso before releasing him skyward in a burst of supersonic speed toward the northwest and the Rockies.

Seconds behind him, the trailing sonic boom and wind rush provided testimony to the urgency of his mission.

He wouldn't fail Lana…Not this time….Not ever again….