For you me dear readers! I love you all!
I do not own Kingdom Hearts or any of the characters mentioned or used in this story.
My body felt groggy and sore as I rolled onto my side and tried to fight off the awareness that was threatening to pull me from the best sleep I had had in a long time. I snuggled deeper into the silk sheets and then froze as soon as the silk registered.
I don't have silk sheets...I've never had silk..and then the memories came flooding back. Each one like a painful blow to my stomach.
I let my eyes open slowly to the half lit room that I knew belonged to Axel. I slowly rolled over to find a sleeping Axel behind me, his arms stretched out towards me as if I had only just moved away from him. I set up very slowly and slid off the bed, my knees hitting the soft carpet. I stayed there, watching the red head sleep.
He looked so beautiful that it hurt. It hurt to know that I had been so weak to give in too him. It hurt to know that no matter what was said the night before, he would never love me the way I loved him, and it hurt to know that after five years of running it had happened regardless...
I was now his dirty little secret.
I stood shakily to my feet and begun the hunt for my cloths. I found my shirt first, and then my pants. I stood for a moment and tried to process what to do next when a loud banging came from the door on the other side of the large room
"AXEL! AXEL OPEN THE DAMN DOOR!" cam a woman's voice. I felt the blood drain from my face and I quickly ran to the opened door that was shedding a little light into the room. I closed the door behind me leaned against it. I was in a huge restroom, complete with spa sized tub.
I stayed very still when I heard another bang on the bedroom door. Fuck, fuck, fuck! I thought and then I heard the light thump of something close by and I knew Axel was up.
"Roxas, call your brother. He will get you out." came a whispered voice through the door and I bit the back of my hand to keep from screaming at him. At that moment so many emotions were playing through my head that I felt light headed.
"Ok." was all I could whisper back before I stood shakily to my feet and made my way to the other side of the bathroom and down a small hallway that led to the toilet area. I leaned against the wall and pulled out my phone. I hit Clouds name in my contact list and listened to it ring.
"Roxas, what the hell is going on? Leon says he can't find you and that Larxene is rampaging around the house for no apparent reason." his brother said.
"Listen, Cloud I don't have time. I'm in Axel's restroom, just off of his bedroom and Larxene is in his room! I need a way out!" I breathed into the phone in an urgent whisper. I heard Cloud cuss colorfully and the sound of him running and a door slamming.
"Ok, listen close. There are a lot of ways out of the bathroom, we have to have ways of getting Axel out in case of an emergency. Go to the bathtub area and stand in front of the tub." Cloud said, his voice sounding official. I stood up and pulled on my underwear and pants quickly as I made my way back to the tub.
"Ok" I whispered as I pulled my button up shirt on, leaving it unbuttoned and shoved my undershirt into my back pocket.
"Ok, walk to the left and reach under the ledge of the tub that is against the wall, there should be a small handle." I leaned over and felt under the ledge until I felt what could have been a piece of plastic, I pulled down on it and one of the wood panels on the front of the tub clicked open.
"Ok one of the panels opened." I said going to the panel and sliding it opened.
"Alright, just drop down and follow the hallway till you come to a door, there will be a light switch on the left side, turn off the lights and then wait there. Do not go out of that hall way. Vincent will come for you." Cloud said, his voice slightly stressed.
"Alright." I said as I set on the floor and scooted toward the opening.
"What have you been up to dear husband?" Came Larxene's sickening sweet voice from much closer this time causing me to freeze.
"Shit Cloud, she's in the room" I hissed.
"Get in the damn hall way Roxas and close the damn panel! Call me when your safe" he hissed back and the line went dead. I slid my legs through the opening to find that it dropped off almost instantly. I gasped but slid down till my feet touched ground. I let go of the ledge and looked back up through, what now appeared to be a window, looking into the bottom of restroom. I quickly pulled the sliding panel shut just as I heard the restroom door bang open.
"Sleeping, dear wife." he answered back, his voice bland of emotions. "Which, mind you, I was not done doing when you rudely starting banging on my door, don't you have some poor village to terrorize?" came Axel's angry condensing voice through the thin wood. I put my phone into my back pocket and took a shaky breath.
I quickly turned to find myself in a narrow hallway dimly lit by small light bulbs hanging from the ceiling. I made my way down the hall way till I came to the door and the light switch. I turned the light switch off and was plunged into darkness.
I slid to the bottom of the wall, my legs curled under me and let tears stream down my face.
How low have I fallen that I have to be snuck out so the man that I love's wife doesn't find me? I set for what felt like an hour but could have only been a short time when I heard the a faint noise at the door. I froze, staying perfectly still, waiting for some sign that it was Vincent.
"Roxas?" came a light whisper through the door. I almost didn't hear it.
"Yes." I breathed back, slowly standing up.
"I am going to push open the door and you are going to walk straight out and stay directly behind me, clutching my coat. Do you understand?" came the soft reply.
"Yes." I whispered back. I heard the door nob click and the door came open and I was momentary blinded by light. I stepped out of the door way and took a few steps till my hand met soft fabric. I squinted my eyes to find a black clad figure. I wrapped my hands in the fabric and he started to walk, me following directly behind me.
We made our way swiftly down the hallway, my hand never leaving his back. We turned a corner and took a flight of stair up and then down another hallway. We were approaching the end of a second hallway when I was suddenly shoved down into a crouching position, my back against a door. Vincent made a quick bow, throwing out his huge coat (almost a cloak) so that it was wide enough at the bottom to hide Roxas from view.
"Vincent! There you are!" Came Larxene's voice and my breath caught in my throat. I watched as Vincent slowly reached back and pointed to the door knob and then turned his attention to the women. I reached up and gently turned the nob, waiting till someone spoke so the click wouldn't be obvious.
"How can I be of service Lady Larxene?" My raven haired hero asked, his voice loud but not suspiciously so. At the same moment he spoke I pushed the door opened slightly to find a pitch black room. I went back to my crouch, waiting for some sign as to when to move.
"I was wondering if you knew who my husband had a meeting with this evening?" she asked, her voice sickeningly sweet.
"I haven't a clue." he said, bowing deeply and sweeping his foot back, pushing the door opened further and at the same moment I rolled into the room and pressed my back against the wall the door was in.
"Alright then Vincent." Larxene said before the sound of retreating foot steps was heard. Roxas glanced up to see Vincent enter the room and then the door shut, blocking out all light. Roxas slowly stood up and pressed his back to the wall.
"Roxas, don't move until I have turned the lights on." Came Vincent's velvety voice from everywhere and no where all at once. "There are many sharp blades in this room." I stayed frozen for a moment and then dim over head lights flickered on and I had to blink to adjust my eyes. I almost wish I hadn't.
The walls were covered in all sorts of blades...no not just blades, weapons in general. There was a large bed in the center of the room along with a large set up of computers on the right hand wall. Vincent was standing next to the computers, examining one of the monitor's.
I walked over to him and tried to see what he was looking at but it just looked like a bunch of lines to me.
"We have to get you hidden, if Larxene is suspicious and asking questions then she'll send Marluxia soon." The raven haired man said and swept to the other side of the room before I could ask who Marluxia was. He pulled open one of the three doors along the wall. I followed him over but froze when a knock came to the door. Vincent grabbed my shoulders and shoved me in the closet, my back against the wall to the left of the door. "Stay right here." he said, his strange red eyes gazing into mine. "Do not move from this spot, there are even more sharp blades in this space, and they are not placed on the walls for decoration. Do not move, do not sit. Stay right where I put you." he said and I nodded, my voice failing me. He nodded and closed the closet door and I was once again plunged into darkness.
I let out a small sigh and stayed very still against my wall and closed my eyes, letting my ears take over.
I heard the door to the bed room open.
"Hello Marluxia." came Vincent's smooth voice from further into the room.
"Why hello Vincent, how are you this fine morning?" came another voice, this one much more feminine then Vincent.
"I would be much better if I could get back to bed. What can I do for you?" Vincent asked. Light foot steps came further into the room and Roxas felt his heart pick up speed.
"Well Larxene wants to know if you have any idea who your master has been meeting with this evening?" he asked, his voice sounding matter of fact.
"As I have told your mistress I have no idea who Axel has been meeting with. I am not his secretary or his main body guard. I am not privileged to all of this information." came Vincent, cool, yet slightly rude reply. The light foot steps came closer to the closet and Roxas placed a hand over his mouth to keep silent.
"I know, but Larxene thought that maybe you would talk to me, you know, servant to servant." he said, his voice heavy on the sarcasm. Vincent let out a snort.
"Well we both know that is a load of crap, so if you would be so kind as to leave?" he asked, his voice losing it's politeness all together.
"Sure, but first I was wondering if I could borrow your bow blade? I've been eyeing it for a while and I think the assignment I was just given would be the perfect time to try it out." came the feminine voice from much, much to close. I heard a hand touch the door knob and I clamped my hand over my mouth. Shit shit shit!
Thunk.
Thunk.
Thunk.
I flinched back and my arm brushed something sharp. A low chuckle came from the other side of the door. I let out a small gasped and clutched my arm with my hand.
"Alright, a guy can take a hint. I'll take my leave then." came the feminine voice and soft foot steps fading away from the door. I looked back to the door and saw three narrow points of light now in the door. I reached out and touched one, only to with draw my hand with a light hiss. They were blades.
I closed my eyes again and felt the now bleeding wound on my right arm. It didn't feel to deep but it was bleeding a lot. The sound of the door shutting and then the almost undetectable foot steps were the only warning as the door was thrown open and Vincent was staring down at me.
"Come on, lets clean the wound." he said in his smooth voice. He set me down on his bed and went into another door, presumably the restroom. He returned shortly after with his arms full of medical supplies. He set the supplies down on the bed side table and removed his coat. Underneath he was wearing black slacks and...well that was it really. I felt my cheeks heat up as he set next to me on the bed.
"Remove your shirt so I can see the wound" he said, his voice perfectly calm. I slid my arms out of the shirt and let it fall to the bed. He took my arm into his hands and examined the wound. "You are very lucky this is rather shallow. It could have severed your muscles." he said as he took a cloth and bottle of clear liquid from the bed side table.
"Well I'm sorry I wasn't expected the door to be ransacked with throwing knifes, caught me off guard." I mumbled as he pressed the now wet cloth to my arm. I hissed a little at the stinging sensation in my arm but didn't flinch away.
"Hmm, yes I can see that. Sorry, I was more worried about Marluxia finding you then anything else." he said as he cleaned the wound. Silence fell as he put a few small butterfly bandaids on the cut and then lifted my arm and wrapped it in bandages. "Here," he said, handing me a small bandaid. I looked at him questioningly. "For the cut on your finger." he said as he cleaned up the supplies. I looked down at my finger in shock and realized that it was indeed bleeding. I pressed it into my jeans and then wrapped the bandaid around it.
"Also, you need to call your brother. He is going to meet us at the back drive way. Normally I would wait for Axel to give the okay for you to leave the property but Cloud is insisting on you leaving now." he said in his soft, monotone voice.
I felt my heart hit my stomach at his words but I stayed still, the words frozen on my lips. I had to ask. He was looking right at me. He knew I had to ask.
"Do..." I licked my lips. "Do you do this often? Sneak out Axel's lovers, I mean." I said, my voice barely shaking. He stared at me for a moment longer, his depth-less red eyes simply staring, no judgements, no hate, no like.
"No, Axle does not have lovers." he said, standing and going to the restroom. "Normally, the people I am helping leave are simply those that Axel downs not wish his wife to know about. Simply for business purposes." he said from the restroom, his voice carrying in a strange way, though he never raised his voice. I felt my heart relax at that but shook my head.
Doesn't matter, I won't be making the same mistake twice. I told myself as I pulled my shirt back on and pulled out my phone. Cloud answered on the first ring.
"Fuck Roxas! What the hell is taking so long?" he hissed into the phone. Roxas couldn't help the small smile that formed on his lips at the worry in his brothers voice.
"Sorry..uh Marluxia..? I think that was his name, was poking around but everything is good now." I said. "
"Alright let me talk to Vincent." my brother said. I handed the phone to Vincent who gave a small bow before taking the phone from me.
"Cloud." Vincent said and then paused. "Yes...yes I understand...I do not agree with removing him before Axel gives the clear, but seeing as he is your brother I will allow it...yes...I will have him there...goodbye." he handed the phone back to me and I slid it into my back pocket. Vincent grabbed a black muscle shirt and slipped it on, then, what I thought was a belt...but turned out to be a sheath for a small...well...sword really...went over the undershirt and then a black leather jacket went over that. He pulled out the blade and examined it before re sheathing it.
"Alright, we are going to make our way back down stairs. Once we get out of the residential part of the house and into the business we will meet Leon and he will take you to Cloud." Vincent said moving to the door and motioning me to stand behind him again. "Move quickly and keep your head down." he said and then flicked out the lights. The door opened and I quickly followed him out into the hallway.
We flew down the hallway at a fast jog, Vincent almost as silent as a shadow in font of me. We came to the end and flew down the first flight of steps and into another long hall. Here Vincent grabbed me and pulled me under the stairs, just as a pair of burley looking men walked by. We waited for a moment before he pulled me up again and we ran for the next set of stairs.
After what felt like endless flights of stairs and hallways we finally came to the front entrance that I recognized from the day before. We came down the stairs and Vincent took a right into the small room were the men had been playing cards the day before.
Leon materialized out of the darkness and took me by the arm, making me flinch.
"Thank you Vincent, we owe you one." Leon said, Vincent just gave a nod before slipping out of the room and back up the steps. Leon paused for a moment and then glanced around the corner, never letting go of my arm. "We are going to walk, quickly and quietly to the kitchen and then out the back doors, then we will sprint for the back drive way were Cloud is waiting." I nodded and he pulled me out of the room and into the entrance hall. We walked quickly, Leon never once letting go of my arm, toward the kitchen area.
"We only have a few minutes at best, before Vincent goes to Axel." he mumbled as we finally made it to the kitchen.
"What?" I hissed, tripping over my feet. "Why would he do that?" I asked as Leon paused at the door and glanced out over the yard.
"Because Vincent is as loyal as they come and if he thinks that he has crossed Axel in any way then he will immediately report what has happened. Our only hope is that if Larxene is with him then Vincent won't be able to tell him." He said and then pushed the backdoor opened and pulled me out behind him, softly closing the door. "Ready?" he asked, glancing around again. "Stick to the tree's and follow me." he said and I nodded. "Go" he hissed and took off at a full sprint toward the trees. I easily followed trying to make as little noise as he was but failing miserably. We made it into the trees and thats when I started having trouble keeping up.
"Damn it Leon!" I hissed but just as I was about to yell at him I saw him stop a short distance up a head. I caught up to him to find Cloud waiting on a motorcycle. Leon grabbed me and placed me on the bike and shoved a helmet in my hands.
"Go! Hurry up!" he hissed as Cloud kicked the bike to life and I pulled the helmet on. We sped out of the gravel drive way and I clutched at my brothers waist. We made quick time getting back to house, weaving in and out of traffic. I slid off the bike and pulled off the helmet, a wave of relief crashing over me as my feet touched the pavement. I turned to give Cloud back his helmet only to find him glaring at me.
"What the hell were you thinking Roxas?" he hissed as he got off the bike and took the helmet from me. I looked away from him, too embarrassed to say anything. "Do you have any idea the amount of trouble you have just put me and Leon into? I thought this is why you left damn it?"
"I'm sorry Cloud." I whispered. "I know its no excuse and you'll probably just laugh but...I can't tell him no. Even after all this time I love him so much. It kills me that he doesn't feel the same way...but last night.." I felt my face heat up at the thought. "Last night it was almost like he did.." I whispered, my arms wrapped tightly around myself. Cloud sighed and rubbed his face.
"Leon was right." he mumbled as he looked skyward, his arms crossed over his chest.
"About what?" I asked, my voice going defensive and my own arms crossing over my chest. Cloud looked at me, his blue eyes soft in what looked like pity.
"You and Axel are like gasoline and fire." he said, his smile sad. "He wants you more then anything in the wold but he doesn't need you. When he finally gets you, everyone around him is in danger of the explosion. And he is everything to you, what you fear, what you love, but all he'll ever do is burn you up till there is nothing left but vapors." I stared at Cloud for what felt like several minutes, not saying anything, just thinking about what he was saying and trying to deny it.
"I don't want to get burnt" I whispered, tears leaking down my face. My arms were no longer crossed but wrapped tightly around myself, as if I could keep myself from falling to pieces. Cloud took the few steps that separated us and wrapped his arms around me.
"Then don't play with fire Rox." he whispered back. An abrupt bitter laugh left my lips.
"I am gasoline Cloud. I may not have a choice." I said. Cloud squeezed me, his body hunched over mine.
"You're right, I know you're right, but its not what I want for my little brother." he said as he pulled away and gazed down at me. "You need to go back to London." he said.
My stomach dropped as I gazed at him, my jaw clenched. Namine...what have I done? I shook my head and stepped back from him.
"I don't know if I can go back." I said, my arms around myself once again.
"Don't say that Roxas!" Cloud said, his face pained. "You can go back! You have a life, a job, a girlfriend. You had everything you need!" I shook my head again.
"I was a ghost of my self in London, I was on autopilot. I was in a relationship with a beautiful women who loved me but I could not return her feelings. My job was pointless, I drew side characters for a video game company that most of the time didn't even make it into the final video game. I was useless there." I said, my eyes gazing at the sky that was slowly getting brighter and brighter as the sun pulled itself up over the horizon.
"And you think that staying here is better for you? Do you think here your life will suddenly have some new purpose?" Cloud asked, his voice trying to sound reasonable. I felt the laughter bubbling up in my chest before it spilled out of my lips and I doubled over as it racked through me. I finally got myself under control and stood, wiping my eyes. Cloud was staring at me like I had lost my mind but I just gave him a soft smile.
"Purpose?" I asked as I smiled at my brother. "I am gasoline to Axel's fire Cloud. That is really all the purpose I need."
"Roxas, this isn't going to end well. He is going to hurt you." Cloud said, taking a step toward me. I smiled and turned to the house.
"Until there is nothing left but vapors." I whispered, a sad smile on my lips as I crossed the yard. I got to the porch before Cloud caught up with me and grabbed my wrist. I turned around to face him to find his face filled with worry.
"Where are you going?" he asked. I smiled and patted his hand.
"To take a shower. I am covered in body fluids." I said still smiling but I knew it wasn't reaching my eyes. Cloud let me go reluctantly.
"Let me know if you need help redressing your wounds." he said. I nodded and went inside. Now that the adrenaline was fading the soreness and pain was starting to set in. I made my way to my room and got some clean cloths. I got into the restroom and closed the door...
I pressed my back to the door and slid to the floor. My eyes shut and small helpless noises came from my lips but my face was surprisingly dry. I hadn't lied to my brother, I wasn't going to be able to go back to London. London held nothing for me, not after last night.
No matter how many times I reminded myself that it didn't mean anything to Axel, it still meant everything to me. I couldn't go back to the empty, shell of a life that I had built around myself in London. Not after I was reminded what it felt like to be full again.
"Explosion's be damned." I mumbled and stood, pulling myself up with the edge of the sink. "I don't care if I get burned up till nothings left." I said as I looked at myself in the round mirror above the sink. "Fire take me." I whispered as I watched my eyes fill with one emotion after another.
Determination. He will love me like I love him.
Fear. Hurting Namine and the danger I will pose to my family.
Love. He can have me, all of me till I am vapor in the wind.
Pride. He wants me. Needs me. I am the gasoline to his fire.
So I know its not as long as some of the others but I really wanted to end it there.
REVIEW! XD