Chapter 5

We kept going until the early morning hours. Eventually we wore each other out and they fell asleep around me. I was smooched between the two in a protective sandwich of people who cared about me. One I knew for years, one I knew for a night.

I sat there thinking back to how things happened. How I got here? How I got here?

The day I met Jax, he was glowed in front of me. Literally, but that was only because he was standing behind a swarm of paparazzi.

I was coming out of court for a civil suit where my client was accused of laundering money from the IRS via an off shore account in the Caribbean. We had just finished settled. My client had pleaded guilty to taking $4.5 million dollars from the state of Florida and the US Government over nearly two decades. He would have gotten away with it, except he had a small cocaine habit that he hadn't been paying on.

That cocaine habit was provided to him by a deal who worked for another dealer, who worked for another dealer who ultimately lead me to seeing Jax in his suit being those flashing lights. The fact that my client hadn't been paying on his cocaine habit had led him to being behind bars and in court that day. But while in prison, my client revealed where he got his cocaine from which lead to an international man hunt which ultimately lead Jax into court that day and us.

He looked painfully uncomfortable but smart. He didn't speak to the camera but had a grin on his face. When I passed him, we tapped shoulders and I looked at him for an instant to apologize. I was about to when he pulled down his black tinted Ray Bands and winked at me.

I was acted like a schoolgirl and giggled and blushed. Not one of my greatest moments but all I had known was male rejection mostly to that point.

Growing up I had been the 'second fiddle twin'. I had braces, glasses, a flat chest, and bad acne. Eve didn't have those things. She was well developed, had good straight teeth, and a boyfriend for every month. During football games, I was on the sidelines in the pep band playing clarinet while Eve was shaking all she had on the cheerleading quad. It wasn't out of place for a few football players to run into the sidelines. Some said they tripped but I know some just wanted to see up her skirt. She always out did me when it came to men. I guess that made up for the fact that I always out did her in academics. When I got into Yale I was the toast of the house. Eve didn't get into Florida State like she wanted to and she sulked for weeks about it.

That was until prom came.

I was all ready to go in my long royal blue dress with a matching shawl. I was spraying another layer of hairspray on my head when I heard the car horn beep. Eve said she wasn't going to go but I guess she changed her mind. I raced to the door to see her waving outside of the roof of the limo with my date, Wilbur King, a golfer and trombone player with a scholarship to Tulane making out down the street.

I cried like a baby on the floor that night. My Mom said get over it, my Dad brought me ice cream and gummy worms. Apparently he found Wilbur later and chased him on the golf course with his shot gun.

That made me laugh.

Eve never apologized, even after I confronted her about it. I felt like I wasn't competitive with her. Like no matter what I did, she would always take men from me.

Even my own fiancé.

48 hours ago, I had been in the church I was to be married in for my rehearsal dinner. I should have known something was up even then.

Jax was sweating profusely. His long black hair was glued to his head and his hands were shaking like leaves. We were standing at the alter, not in our fancy clothes but just in sweats and T-Shirts, much to my mothers dismay. She lamented about how we should have been in khaki's and polo shirts because it would have been more proper for the guests except the only guests at the rehearsal dinner were her, Dad, Jax's parents, three of my cousins from my Mom's side of the family who's purses combined cost more than my rent, and Eve, who was supposed to be my Maid of Honor but was running late, as usual. I knew I wasted $20 dollars on the watch I got her last Christmas.

"Are you ok?" I asked him.

He shrugged it off as he always did with any question I asked him and said, "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. It's just hot in here," He said as he opened up his sweatshirt from the neck. He had been acting very strange that whole week. On Monday, he took a plane back to Jacksonville for a sudden emergency hearing, on Tuesday, he wouldn't tell me where we were supposed to go to for our honeymoon, and on Wednesday we had gotten into a huge argument regarding the marriage license. He wanted to wait and sign it after we were actually married in person on Friday. He said that it was something that his family did, became married in sight of the court and the Church on the same day.

I was thinking about this as I held his quivering hands.

Did he really want to marry me?

Did he really love me?

Then she came in: my sister Eve. Only an hour and a half late.

"Sorry guys," She said as she came in. She had on large white sunglasses and a bright turquoise and gold dress that barely came below her waist. She strutted herself up to the front where Jax and I were standing on she wore platform sandals.

"Am I supposed to stand here?" She asked Jax cutely in the face bumping me to the side breaking us apart and putting her hands in Jax's where mine were.

"Umm," Jax began.

"Oh Jax," Eve began. "Your hands are so cold. Here let me warm them up," She said as she began rubbing her hands over his.

"No you don't!" I said pushing her out of the way and putting myself back into my then fiancé's hands. "You stand behind me, Eve," I said.

"Alright, alright," Eve said as she slunk back behind me.

The rest of the rehearsal seemed to go well but then again maybe I was just shallow. Maybe I was naive. Maybe I should have done more. Checked more. Followed him to Jacksonville if he even went there. Just been more attached.

There were too many maybe.

They were over.

The past was the past.

The present was now.

I could not change who Eve was and I could not change who Jax was.

However, I as a person had changed. I was sharing a bed with 2 people. One was a legit stranger, the other a long time friend who I hadn't seen in forever.

How did this happen? How did? Did I think? Maybe that's what it was?

Maybe I thought too much all the time and maybe this time for once, I just went with the flow. It felt nice to do that: to have control of my own life and do what I wanted, unafraid and uncaring of fitting a certain mold. It felt…good.

It was the first time in a long time that I felt safe and secure in both body and mind. Like I had done something both positive as well as exciting.

A threesome again…eh…not so much. Dating again, yes definitely.

And as for men and marriage, well maybe next time, I'll just marry the guy instead of bringing him back to Florida. Maybe Rick and Catherine had it right with eloping and not sending out announcements. It wasn't anyone's business except for the people involved.

But the night was over and the sun was beginning to rise in the east and shine through the windows.

I slid out of bed and grabbed my clothes from the floor and snuck into the power room downstairs. As I put on my clothes, I looked at my face and hair. Both messes but instead of pulling myself down, I smiled.

I was going to be ok in Jacksonville. I would protect myself and there were people around who wanted to keep me safe and remind me of my own abilities.

Before I left I saw the white board on the kitchen. I looked upstairs to where my friends were sleeping and wrote them a note on the board before quietly leaving outside the front.

Thanks for a great wedding present. Catherine, you were right about Rick. He's not your typical Texan at all. Rick, you're a nice guy and defy all of my stereotypes and preconceived notions. Thanks for keeping me safe and for giving me comfort and for teaching me that nothing is guaranteed except for the here and now. Thanks-Judith