AUTHORS NOTE:
Hi ya guys! I just got a comment about the "update" I made and I just wanted to clarify that I only changed a few things to fit more with the plot line I had in store for this story. Nothing mayor but I do recommend rereading the chapters to understand this chapter better.
I really do hope that you'll like this chapter! It was insanely tricky to write and took a really long time to make! Yeah I know! I'm gonna get better at it ! I promise.
DISCLAMER! I DO NOT OWN THE TWILIGHT SAGA OR ANY OF IT'S CHARACTERS!
"Mr. creepy gangly guy." I screeched out for the thousand time, getting more frustrated by the minute."I know you can hear me asshole. Get your floating ass down here, or in here. Cause I don't really know where I am, and it's kind of freaking me out a little. And I don't like it" my screams bounced off the high trees and got lost in the big dark forest around me. I was on the cliff again. I don't know why this is the place my unconscious mind keeps dragging me back to. The Dream- Walker told me that it was a memory, but I couldn't seem to place it.
I felt hollow, worn and just plain tired. I sat down; defeated on the edge of the cliff overlooking the sea ahead of me. I let my feet dangle across the edge while the cold wind played with my hair. It would actually be quite a nice place if it weren't so dark and scary. I knew I needed answers and I would practically do anything for them, even get down on my knees and beg. I just need clarity for once in my very blurry life. Somethings happening, and I don't know why but I can feel it. But the scary part is that, I think I'm smack in the middle of it. And now I just need to know why or better yet how to get out of it.
I turned around abruptly after hearing a scratchy noise, and saw four pair of red eyes looking directly at me. I got up as quickly as I possibly could and stumbled backwards in a hurry to get away. I fell down and landed in a thorn bush. "Shit" I exclaimed. I placed my left hand to my side; pricking it in the process and pushed my way up, out of the bushes. The eyes had moved closer. Close enough so I could see they're twisted smiles. "Oh god, get away" I screamed frightened. I picked up a branch and started swinging it back and forth in an effort to get them to back off.
"Silly little child" One of them said so dark it sent shudders down my back. "You think you can stop us?" it hummed pleased.
"Stay away or I'll hurt you" I warned.
They slithered faster now to where I was standing.
"We're coming for you"
"What are you?" I whispered scared.
"We're your doom."
And that's when they swarmed me, slithering around in a circle. I tried fighting them off but they were everywhere all at once, so I did the only thing I could do. I screamed.
"Well aren't we simply famished today children?" A voice interrupted.
They stopped now. They all but one crawled away from me. The last one hovered over me and let it's nail drag across my skin, so hard it almost drew blood. I slapped it's nail away from me. "Jesus! get off" I snapped.
"Master? why did she call me Jesus? That is not my name." It uttered so confused I almost laughed, almost.
But the Dream-Walker did, it let out it's usual gurgling sound. "Humans, Alexion." It smiled crookedly. "This Jesus man is their god."
"He's not our god! He's gods son" I interrupted annoyed by the way it just disregarded that they were just about to eat me. Now that was just rude. "Plus, I don't even believe in god."
The Dream-Walker looked amused. " Clever child. You shouldn't" It regarded the four whatever the hell they were and said." What are you waiting for? Leave!" It uttered angry.
Wow, note to self do not piss off The Dream-Walker. Ever.
"B-but Mast-" One of the things started, quivering.
"But nothing" It snapped. " Leave or Die. Your choice." The Dream-Walker snarled at them.
The four of them left, but not until their gaze lingered on me with grudge and interest.
"Now. Back to buisness" It clapped it's hands together in anticipation.
"Where the hell were you!? I called and I called! And what in gods name were those things? They were trying to eat me!" I yelled at the creature.
I arched a warning brow and started. "I do apologize, but I do not believe that I have ever given you belief that my name was, what did you say again? Ah, Mr. Creepy guy?" There was an edge to his tone that made me take a few steps back.
"It was Mr. Creepy gangly guy" I mumbled. I quickly shut up when I saw his expression. "I'm sorry but I didn't know your real name. And I needed your help"
"My help you say?" It looked shocked. "What for?"
"I need answers. And I know you can give them to me."
It regarded me for a couple of seconds before finally speaking to me again. "I can" It nodded. "But I would have to gain something in return."
"What could I possibly have that you want?" I asked carefully.
"Nourishment" It licked it's lips and looked down at my hand.
I lifted my injured hand and gasped when realization dawned me. "Blood?" I whispered frightened.
"Those are my terms" It shrugged unaffected by my obvious discomfort. "Agree or you will get nothing from me."
I have to do it. I just have to. Remember what you are gaining in return. Remember the feeling of being kept in the dark, pushed aside and neglected. I can do this. It's just blood how bad can that possibly be? Sure, you're going to have to let this creatures tongue touch your skin, but that's not so bad. I shivered in horror at that thought and felt my legs twitching out of desire to run for the hills. But I stilled them and made my decision.
"I get to ask anything I want? and you'll have to answer truthfully?" I hesitated.
It nodded. "Those are my terms. Do you agree to them?"
"Yes, but" I stopped it from grabbing me. " How many questions do I get? And how much blood?"
"You are a clever one my dear." It smirked almost appreciably.
"Thank you"
"You will get preciously ten questions. No more, no less. And I shall not take enough to cause you harm" It decided. "Agreed?"
"Will it hurt?" I whispered scared of the answer.
"I will try to prevent it as much as possible"
I nodded, feeling a bit better.
I inched my hand closer to it, so that it could reach and feed. I sneered at the last word. Disgusting, I thought. The Creature shook his head at my offering. I quirked a brow in questioning.
"It is not your hand I want." It smirked. "I want your neck. Your fragile, soft neck."
I nodded, my conviction wavering a little but fought the yearning to run away. I gathered all my hair into my hand; put it against my left shoulder and inched my neck sideways. I opened my eyes and saw The Dream-Walker staring at me, almost with yearning before closing the distance between us. It took my neck into one of it's hand; it's fingers stroking me softly while doing so. I shivered unwillingly from the sensation, and to my horror, I could tell by its satisfied smirk that it noticed.
"Don't be afraid child" It whispered against my now covered by goose bumps skin. "It won't hurt. Much" It gurgled before sinking its teeth in me.
I felt pleased that he hadn't lied, the sensation wasn't horrible but it wasn't what I would describe as pleasant or something I would do again. It did itch which was so frustrating that all I wanted to do was slap it off but I held my ground like a good little statue. Until I started to feel a little dizzy. That's when I started slapping it off. "G-get off." I choked out. "T-to much. P-please stop"
It backed away abruptly, looking horrified by it's actions. "I-I'm sorry my dear." It said apologetically with my blood smeared across it's face. "I did not mean to loose control of my actions like that"
"I feel weird." I muttered weakly.
"Blood loss." It started. "Please allow me to help" It let one of it's nails drag across the skin of it's wrist, puncturing the skin. "Drink, it will heal you."
"EW!" I exclaimed. "No get away from me." I said; stumbling away from The D-W. The blood loss had left me weak and dizzy. My head felt lighter and soon enough I couldn't even stand straight.
"Please." It gestured towards it's wrist. "I must insist."
I turned my head away but it grabbed my chin roughly.
"Enough of this nonsense! Drink. " It snapped."Stop fighting me, It will help"
Reluctantly I turned my head towards it's wrist and planted my lips on it's wrist. I sticked out my tongue, testing it out. Discovering that it tasted….good, almost like liquid sugar. I grabbed it's wrist and pushed it more forcefully into my mouth, sucking greedily.
"Good girl" It said; stroking my hair tenderly. "Now that's quite enough" It ripped it's wrist away from my grasp and took a few steps back.
"Wow that was incredible!" I uttered astonished, licking my lips while doing so.
The creature regarded me questionably, took another few steps back and mumbled something unintelligible under it's breath.
"What was that?" I asked. "What did you just say?"
It didn't answer me, it just shook it's head and shrugged.
"You have the oddest reactions to the strangest things" It mumbled to itself.
"Thank…you?" I said confused.
"I find it.. Refreshing"
I gave a little smile before asking it something that I thought was rude, but needed to know. "This question doesn't count as one of ten, agreed?." I asked slowly.
"Depends"
"On what?" I asked confused.
"On the matter of the subject."
"Oh" I exclaimed dumbfounded. "It's not a question of national security or which are the winning numbers of the lottery. More personal." I blushed.
"Then by all means my dear pursed." It grinned.
"You do not have to answer this question if you don't want to" I stuttered out in a nervous haste. " I just wondered if you're male or female. Again optional" I blushed once more.
The Creature took a few indecisive steps towards me, almost like it was unsure of itself. "Why are you blushing?" It whispered in awe; before letting its fingers slide across my crimson stained cheekbones in a gentle caress.
"Because it's not polite to ask those sorts of questions" It looked confused."It's a human thing" I shrugged.
The Creature took a few steps back again and regained it's dull expression once more. "To answer your question. I do not quite know what I am in this form but I was once a man"
"You were human?" I did a double take, and gasped.
It nodded. "It was very long ago."
"What happened?" I whispered. "I mean how did you become what you are now?"
"It is none of your concern" It growled, obviously upset.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you, I was just curious."
"Curiosity killed the cat."
"So what may I call you then?" I smiled, trying to lighten the mood a little. " I can't very well call you Mr. creepy gangly man now can I?"
It gurgled. "You may call me Amoz if you wish."
"Amoz" I tested it out and decided that it suited him perfectly. "It suits you very well, does it mean anything in particular?"
"It means strong." it answered. "Your name my little dove means ruler. A long time ago that name was given to those who showed ambition and independence."
"Huh" was all I could muster.
"You do the name justice." Amoz continued.
"Thank you" I blushed. I cleared my throat before continuing." Do you mind answering a few questions now?"
"Not at all my dear."
I nodded." You said something about someone being after me, after my blood. Why?"
"Your blood is the key to their salvation, It's supposed to break a curse that was put on their kind very long ago."
Curses? you've got to be shitting me. So I'm the salvation for something that happened ages ago? that doesn't make any sense. Why would the blood from a perfectly ordinary girl be some kind of key. I wonder if I belong in a luny bin, I shouldn't be believing this. But I am, and was does that say about me? Have I lost my head or got it back? I had this gnawing pit in my stomach, that could sense the honesty in Amoz words. I'm done fooling myself, I'm done with not trusting my instincts because I fear them. I'm ready to strike back and win.
"Okay let's just say for arguments sake that curses actually excisted and that I believed in them. Why am I apart of it? I'm just plain old Kim."
"You are so much more than what meets the eye my dear." Amoz started. "Your father was the one who created the curse and that makes you very special" Amoz paused before pointing at me."You, my dear are one of the four last remaining who carry his blood line"
I felt my head nod a little but the rest of me just felt numb. I started shuttering from the cold or I think it was because of the cold but I couldn't tell, and I didn't really care. The cold was a welcomed distraction, It gave me time to think about what Amoz just said. I rubbed my arms trying to create warming friction while muttering over what my next question would be.
"Are you all right my dear?" asked Amoz without a hint of concern. Strange that the words left its mouth but held no actual emotion whatsoever.
I shook myself out of the pity daze I'd created for myself and replied. "Yeah yeah… I-it's just a lot to take in."
"Still want the remaining eight questions or do you regret your decision of craving knowledge?" Amoz smirked knowingly.
"Yes and not one bit." I snapped back, regaining my fire once more. I needed to know, I asked for this and it's simply giving me what I wanted.
"Next question" I said harshly. Amoz nodded and waved a hand to let me know that I could continue. Nice to know that he approved that asshole, I thought sarcastically.
" You said I'm one of the four last remaining, which are the other three?" I felt my heart sink when realization dawned me."D-do. D-do I have siblings?" I asked fearing the answer.
"You have three brothers." It nodded.
How was it that I didn't even know about them. Did my father have another secret family that we didn't know about? Did he lie to me my entire life, why would he do that? Sure he wasn't the greatest father but I never thought he would be able to do something like that to us. Or wait are they from my mothers side? No that's not possible, they had t0 be born out of his bloodline.
"Where are they? I mean are they safe, are they okay at least?" I asked worried over my newly discovered family.
"That's two questions. I couldn't find them my dear but yes I believe that they are well. They shouldn't need to worry, The Elders have you now after all. They are useless and therefor protected." Amoz looked sad while saying this but I felt only relief. "You have only five questions, choose wisely."
I gave a slight nod. I have three brothers. Three living, thriving and distant brothers. I'm not alone after all. I need to find them, and explain to them who I am. Or maybe I shouldn't. I paused. I would only create trouble for them, and something told me that they didn't need anymore of that. Maybe if I stay away, they'll be able to live a normal and happy life. Without me in it. A single tear escaped from my eye at that thought. I didn't even know them, but yet I knew I loved them. Well at least that I could love them, with all my heart. And that saddened me. I would never even get a chance to get to know them. Get to know their likes, dislikes or if they had girlfriends, wives or maybe even kids. I quickly wiped away my tear and plastered a small smile on my face.
Amoz looked slightly pained and remorseful. "Perhaps you should save the remaining five questions for another day?" he initiated carefully.
"Another day" I agreed in a shaky voice. "Promise?" I whispered, unshed tears lazing my voice making it crack slightly.
He nodded. "Yes, I give you permission to call upon me"
"Thank you." I timidly smiled. "You are very kind."
Amoz looked taken aback by my compliment but quickly recovered. "Until we meet again my dear." He took my hand into his and raised it to his mouth, planting a sweet kiss.
The next couple of weeks passed in a blur. Jared and I became much closer and hung out almost everyday after school, sometimes with his friends but mostly alone. I would be lying if I said that I didn't enjoy our alone time the best. But one thing was incredibly frustrating was that he never once made a move or even left a hint that he wanted to. I haven't quite figured out if I wanted him to. I was nervous and, well scared. I've never been with a guy before, never even had a best guy friend. It was all pretty new to me and that made me feel vulnerable. But I pushed those thoughts aside when we were together, I just wanted to enjoy it and not have over thinking Kim take over for once. Would it be pathetic if I said that these weeks have been the greatest time of my life? I've just learned so much about him. Somethings I didn't quite like but the good outweighed the bad. It wasn't even a fair a competition. He was just so completely perfect. It pissed me off from time to time, but it's not like I could be mad at him because he was sweet, funny and incredible charming. Or could I? Sometimes when he had one of his "perfect" moments, all I wanted to do was either kiss the hell out of him or run scared for the hills. I just didn't feel like I was enough. Not good enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough. I shut those thoughts out, I deserved to be happy and he made me happy. And if he wanted a platonic relationship, then well, I'll take what I can get.
I haven't dreamt of Amoz in weeks. I'm not fully sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing. A part of me rejoiced but the other was scared. Scared of not knowing what was real or not. I haven't felt this weak since I was a little girl. I feel powerless, cause I believe in everything he had said. Even my mind couldn't be creative enough to come up with all of these things. Maybe I was so desperate for something exciting to happen that I just made it up, but still.. My gut was telling me otherwise. I have pushed away the thoughts of Amoz for to long now. I needed to deal with it or move on with my life. But over the past few weeks, I have discovered that moving on wasn't an option. He just kept coming, unwanted and unappreciated. Entering my thoughts, only to make me doubt everything around me.
It's been three days since I last saw Jared. Three, slow and excruciating days. It's hard being apart for him, I miss him so much when he's away. I don't really know where he goes or what he does. I asked him once but he deflected the subject and became really quiet. I got really mad and ignored him for two days, before he vieseld himself into my heart again. I told him I would drop it, but still. You can't kill curiosity once it's there.
One thing I've learned about him is that he really seemed to love my hair. He's always gliding his fingers through it in history class, tugging it when he reached the end. I'm certainly not complaining at all. It's nice and comforting. I would blush and he would smile and stroke my cheek. Did I mention how much I miss him? History was just so incredibly boring without him making me laugh with his silly jokes. Without him stroking my hand while I'm writing, or whispering in my ear how pretty I was. Nothing felt dull when he was around. I didn't feel dull. It's hard to imagine that only three weeks ago, we were practically strangers. Now, I can't imagine him not being there, him not being my friend. Of course I want more, but at the same time I like what we have. I just think it's better to be friends first, get to know each other to see if we're right.
It's friday and I'm sitting in my favorite spot, by the window in history class. Wondering, and hoping that he will show up today. The bell had rung three times now, and I could feel the hope just diminishing by the second. He's not coming. My whole body kind of shrunk and my face fell, disappointment painfully obvious for everyone to see. Just as I was about to advert my eyes from the door, he walked in. My heart literally skipped a beat, and my stomach did a flip. His gaze searched through the crowd before it finally rested upon me. He grinned so widely that I was sure his cheeks would be sore tomorrow. I returned his grin with one of my famous blushes, he gave a slight nod and laughed.
When he finally reached our table. Yes ours. I turned to him. "I thought you weren't coming." I grinned.
"I told you I would. Three days, tops. I promised" He smiled
I nodded. "I'm glad you kept your promise."
"For you. I always will." and on cue he reached out and grabbed a strand of my hair. He followed it until he reached the end, by my waist and gave it a tiny tug before releasing it.
I stared at him with such wonder and admiration. God, how I've missed him. No, ached for him. I broke out of my daze when he spoke again.
"Did you doubt me?" I think he meant it to be teasing but there was an edge to his voice that sounded worried.
"No" I said determined. "But you had me going there for a second"
"Miss James. Would you and your boyfriend like to share to the class what was so important that you just couldn't wait for the end of the class to discuss it?" Mr. Shaw looked over at us, obviously very annoyed.
I blushed when I saw everyone staring at us. Some were laughing, while others just grinned.
"I was just telling her how pretty she looks today ." Jared answered, grinning the entire time. Then he turned to me with a heated gaze and said. "You really do Kim."
I mumbled a thank you under my breath and gave him a tiny smile. Mr. Shaw scoffed and returned to his teaching. But the students didn't. One girl, I think her name was Michelle glared at me with such contempt that I was surprised I wasn't a blood stain on the wall by now. Then I noticed that almost every other girl in the room was staring at me exactly the same. They were jealous, I realized. Of me. Now that was just silly. Jared was like this to everyone, or I think he was.
We kept quiet and tried our best to focus but every now and then we would steal glances and smile at each other. He would stroke my hand and I would play with his fingers. For the first time in days, I felt happy and whole.
After the class ended, he motioned me to wait. "Meet you at lunch?" He asked so adorably shy that I just had to smile. Didn't he already know that it was a given that I would wait for him.
"Sure, I'll see you later. Have fun with math" I teased him.
"Don't remind me." He made a gagging face before rolling his eyes and walking out the classroom.
Lunch couldn't come fast enough. Halfway through english, I felt myself twitching in anticipation to leave the freaking classroom already.
"Hey, you're Kim right. Jareds girl?" said the boy beside me. He had long brown hair, sparkling brown eyes and an easy smile.
I cleared my throat and replied in a hushed voice. "Yeah I'm Kim" I hesitated before I added. "But I'm not Jareds girl."
He only smiled. "Oh I'm sorry, I just thought-. Never mind" He shook his head." I'm Jacob by the way, but call me Jake."
"It's nice to met you Jake." I shook his hand, before sending him a smile of my own.
"Like wise."
"Are you as bored as I am?" I asked.
"Yes! Please end my suffering and just kill me now."
"I have a really sharp pencil, just tell me where to jab it."
He laughed. He had a really nice laugh, so easy and contagious.
"I see why he likes you. You have a good sense of humor." he winked.
I blushed but couldn't restrain myself from asking. "How do you know that he likes me?"
He let out a sigh. "He can't stop talking about you." he uttered utterly annoyed. "No no! Seriously I mean it." he continued after he saw the disbelief on my face."He's like Kim this, Kim that. Kim, Kim, Kim. It gets pretty exhausting after a while. It was cute at first. You know, because he's never liked a girl before. But still! Jeez"
To say that I was beyond chocked was putting it mildly. He's talked about me to his friends? To the point of them wanting to stab him in his sleep. After the chock wore of, new emotions rolled in. First there was happiness over that he liked me. Then there was embarrassment that his friends knew and lastly there was anger because he didn't tell me himself. And that's when realization over what he had just said dawned me.
"Wait, what? Never liked a girl before?" I asked chocked.
He shook his head. "Not to this extent." he started to turn towards the board before he quickly met my gaze agin."Shit! you didn't know any of this did you?" He exclaimed.
"No…" I said slowly.
"Please don't tell him that I told you all this. Please I beg you, he's gonna kill me." he looked at me pleadingly with those puppy dog eyes of his.
"Cross my heart and hope to die"
"Thank you" he sighed in relief.
After the bell rang, I couldn't wait to get out of the classroom and meet Jared. Jake was sweet enough to follow me to the cafeteria. I didn't feel like talking but he had no problem speaking for the both of us. Jake told me about a girl that he liked named Bella Swan. She sounded like a real bitch, but I kept that to myself. I knew Jake wouldn't appreciate me saying that about "his girl". So I simply smiled and nodded. He told me about his dad and his sister, about how sad he was that she'd left for college and didn't visit often. I dragged my fingers through my hair and spaced out when he started talking about Bella again. It made me want to see Jared so much more. I kept thinking of that smile of his that always left my heart fluttering, the cute shrug he makes when he's nervous and even that little frown he makes when I do or say something strange.
"Am I that boring?" He asked chuckling.
I snapped out of my trance sheepishly. "Oh god no! I'm sorry, I just kind of spaced out for a moment."
He laughed at my awkwardness."No worries. I guess I'm just as bad as Jared is" He shrugged.
"Hard to believe."
"Believe what?"
"I mean, I just don't get where you got the idea that he likes me from. Sure we're friends and all. And friends do usually like each other, but still" I rambled on.
"You'll just have to ask him yourself." He replied mysteriously.
I didn't take us long to reach the cafeteria or to find Jared. He was sitting by the table closest to the window, cause he knew how much I loved it. I don't know how he does it, but every time I enter a room he seems to sense it. It's both thrilling and unnerving. His whole face lit up when he saw me and my heart melted. I blew him a kiss, which he captured. I couldn't help but laugh at our silliness. Jake just stared at me with both approval and annoyance in his eyes. I gave Jake my best "mind your own goddamn business" face in return. We made our way over to where Jared, Paul and Embry were.
"Saved you a seat."
"Oh. Always such a gentleman." I said to Jared with my best "sugar" voice.
"Only for you princess." He smirked.
Jake, Embry and Paul groaned while rolling their eyes at us. But I couldn't care less and either could Jared, cause his eyes never wavered from mine.
"Just get a room already!" Embry exclaimed in disgust. Before I had a chance to make a witty comeback, Jared smacked him across the head.
"Hey! That hurt" Embry complained.
"Well stop acting like a tool then" Jared mimicked a singing voice.
"Stop acting all lovedovey and I don't need to be!" he retorted.
Jared was beginning to get out of his seat, towards Embry's when I heard a voice calling me.
"Kim! Hey Kim"
I turned around, searching for the noise. My eyes landed on Adam, the guy who hung out with Liams crowd. I was a little confused. I don't think I've ever talked to him alone. Sure I've said hi when he was around Liam, but other than that, nothing. What would he want with me?. He made a waving motion for me to come over, I nodded and mimed the words "give me a sec" to him.
I turned back to Jared and saw him eyeing Adam with such a heated glare; I found myself taking a few steps back.
I nodded towards Jared. "I'm just gonna see what he wants"
His mouth was in a thin smile, which was not like him at all. But he nodded and sighed. I turned around and headed towards Adam, rolling my eyes along the way.
Adam was actually a very good looking guy. Anybody would have to be blind not to see it. He had dark blue eyes which were framed by long black eyelashes, his hair was curly and brown, and his body was lean and muscular built. He even had dimples, I've always been a sucker for dimples.
"Hi Adam, whats up? " I greeted him politely, glancing back while doing so. Jared was staring at us, gripping the table for some reason. Embry was leaning into his ear, whispering something, which seemed to calm him a little. Thankful for that, I directed my attention towards Adam again.
He scratched his neck sheepishly before clearing his throat and looking at me. "Yeah so, uh there's this party at my house tonight. You should come, you know if you want to of course."
I hesitated with my answer. What if Jared wanted to hang out tonight? Maybe I should bring him along? Or what if he doesn't want to go, should I still go? I'm not even asking myself the right question. Do I want to go? Yeah, I've never actually been to a party and it could be fun. I wasn't Jareds only resources of fun, he could hang out with the guys or something.
"Yeah sure! It sounds like fun. But I don't know where you live"
He let out a sigh of relief and laughed. "It's fine, I can pick you up around 8?"
"Sounds great, but do you need directions?"
"No, no my uncle fixed your pipes not long ago, so I know where you live."
"I'll see you later then" I smiled.
"Great! glad you could come. The guys miss you."
"I miss you guys to. It's just been pretty hectic. But you know you can just call me if you want to hang out!"
"Yeah I know, but still " He looked at me, sadness etched on his beautiful face. It made me feel bad, bad enough to say something I didn't mean.
"But we can hang out all night at the party and you can teach me how to drink properly." my smile feeling slightly forced.
"Great! I like teaching you stuff" He winked.
I gave a short nervous laugh at that and reluctantly hugged him goodbye. I don't know why but the end of the conversation made me feel strange, almost like I was betraying Jared somehow. I made myself snap out of it and told myself that me and Jared were nothing anyways.
"What did he want?" Jared had an edge to his voice that almost sounded a lot like jealousy. Instead of answering him right away; I sat down beside him and shrugged.
"He was just wondering if I wanted to come to a party tonight"
"And what did you say?"
"I said I'd come" I shrugged.
"Oh, I mean okay. Sounds fun I guess."
"Yeah I think so to. He's gonna pick me up at like 8, so we'll see I guess." I mumbled before I caught myself. "You can come if you want!"
"No, no that's okay. I was gonna hang out with the guys anyways" He shrugged, but he was still tense.
"Oh? What are you guys gonna do?" I asked interested.
"Nothing much, just heading out"
"Please do spare all the details" I mumbled annoyed.
"You'll be careful, right?" He asked nervously.
"I'll be fine" I reassured him. "Nothing is going to happen, promise."
He nodded but he still looked tense so out of instinct I leaned in and planted a soft kiss on his cheek; and whispered relax. It seemed to do the trick, because his mood shifted from worried to happy in an instant. His grin was infectious and I found myself smiling back at him. I got lost in his eyes again. I found myself intrigued by their color. How right around the pupil there was a gold speckle, that gave his eyes such warmth. I shivered unexpectedly from the heat in his gaze and blushed, which only made his grin became even wider. He was just about to touch my cheek when the sound of someones throat clearing behind us.
"Are you two finished soon? We have to get to class" Paul looked impatient and slightly annoyed.
I started fidgeting with my shirt. "Um, yeah. I'll see you guys on monday I guess." I shrugged half out of sadness and the other half out of embarrassment.
"You don't want to hang out tomorrow?" Jared asked saddened. I realized what I had just said and remembered that Jared wanted to do something with me tomorrow, he hasn't said what but still I had promised.
"No! I mean yes of course I want to hang out. I was just talking to Embry and Paul." I stammered nervously.
"Oh. Well I mean, okay." Jared scratched his neck again.
"Well see you tomorrow, and you guys on monday." I waved and headed toward the A building where I had english.
The rest of the day passed in a blur. I was stressed out about the party, going through my closet in my mind; searching for something appropriate to wear tonight. I decided that tonight I was going to go all out. Curl my hair and even put mascara on. I was a little nervous. I've never gone to a party before, I don't really know what I'm supposed to say, should I dance? Should I even drink? I gripped my hair in frustration on my way to the parking lot. I jumped into my car and headed home.
Oh god! Why haven't I bought party dresses over the years? Oh that's right, cause I don't go to parties. Stupid, naive little Kim. And that's when it hit me. Mom. She has to have a few dresses. She's a horder, she ought to have some few old dresses lying around in her closet from her "glory" days, hopefully none from the 80s. You see my mother was once, how you call it "a party girl". She was popular, stunning and extremely intelligent. She had the world in the palm of her hand, but when she met my dad something changed. I guess love happened. She did a 180 and became a whole different person, someone who was respected and a little feared. I wonder if it was the influence of my dad, or maybe something else.
I sprinted up from the pile of clothes on my floor and practically ran so fast I stumbled to my moms room. I rummaged through her closet, snatching each dress she had; feeling the fabric of each and every one of them. My hand stopped when I found the perfect dress. It was a deep V halter dress, which showed just enough cleavage to leave them guessing but also wanting more. It was a sexy red color, which didn't stick out all to much. And even though the dress was as tight as a second skin, it was elastic enough to make it comfortable. It was absolutely perfect. I snatched it and closed the door behind me when I finished putting the mess I made away.
The clock was already six and Adam was picking me up in two hours. To say that I was stressed was an insult to how anxious I actually was. I flung the dress on the bed and began stripping myself. I had to get in the shower now and wash my hair if I wanted any time to curl it. So I hoped in the shower, washed myself quickly and dried myself. I blow-dried my hair, brushing it while doing so. It was a curse having long hair, It always tangled into an unfixable mess if not treated properly, I began curling each strand of hair with perfection and persistence, making sure they were bouncy and shiny. When I finished with my hair approximately an hour later, it was perfect. I twirled around in front of the mirror, admiring the way each strand of hair shined in the light, it looked like a chocolate river flowing down my back in creamy waves.
It was hell putting on mascara, I poked my eye at least five times. But the end result was totally worth it, my eyelashes were tripled the amount and twice as dark and long. I batted them and smiled while I put on some lip gloss for good measures. Now it was only the dress left. And I had a good 15 minutes before he was supposed to show up, so I took my time. I slipped into the black nylon stockings before I put on the gorgeous dress. I had to give myself credit, when I wanted to clean up, I really clean up good. I looked beautiful. My legs looked long and slender, maybe it had something to do with the dress high cut. My breasts looked perky and gave a nice illusion of a somewhat cleavage. My ass looked plump and nicely shaped. This dress did wonders for my hour glass shaped body, hugging it in all the right ways.
I broke out of my admiring daze when I heard knocking on the door. He's here.
"Wait a second" I yelled trying to slip my hand into the old leather jacket. I grabbed the converse and quickly put them on. I smoothed the hair down before I opened the door.
Adam looked nice. He was clean shaved and his hair was styled gorgeously. He had a pair of jeans and a nice dark blue shirt on. He was looking at me from top to toe, a smirk slowly spreading across his face.
"To much?" I whispered nervously, fidgeting with the hem of my dress trying to pull it down over my thighs a little.
He looked at me shocked before clearing his throat. "No" He squeaked. "I mean y-you look netty." He slapped his hand to his forehead. "I mean I was going to say that you look nice, but then I started to say that you look pretty." He blushed.
"Netty" I laughed. "I guess I can deal with that."
"Your hair." He quirked his eyebrow in wonder. "It looks different."
"Yeah. I curled it." I smiled.
"It looks so soft" He mumbled in amazement before reaching out to grab a strand. He let his fingers glide through it before finally releasing it. I didn't mind Jared touching it, but when he did. It just felt wrong, not nice, not comforting. Just plain wrong.
"Let's go shall we? We wouldn't want you to miss your own party now do we?"
"Huh?" he snapped out of his trance."Um yeah. You're right, let's go." He said, while leading me towards his car.
It didn't take us long to reach an enormous house which was almost vibrating from the noise it was emitting. I stared in awe at the beautiful mansion. It had such elegance and grace that I was sure his parents worked in some fancy businesses. He seemed to sense my admiration and questioning. because he answered.
"My parents are lawyers who take their jobs way to serious and don't give a rats ass what their kid does with the place. " He scoffed unimpressed.
"My mom would kill me if I had a party like this" I uttered speechless. There were kids everywhere. On the street, on the lawn even on the balcony. The music was so loud I could feel the base all the way from the house.
"Well luckily for all the kids in La Push and Forks, they're always away on business trips" He rolled his eyes, obviously not pleased with the lack of attention from their part.
"I'm sorry"
He shrugged. "No big deal. Maybe if we trash the place they'll finally care enough to ground me."
"Still it must be tough. No offense but you're parents sounds like, pardon my french, a bunch of assholes."
He laughed and his former stoic expression gone and replaced by an easy smile. "Thank you"
He put his arm over my shoulder and lead me towards the enormous house, greeting each kid who stuttered out the words "greet party" in a drunken haze.
The inside of the house was even more amazing then the view from outside. It wasn't very well lit but it was stunning. The furniture were spread out across each corner of the room to make room for the hundreds of kids that danced in the middle of it. But he didn't stop the tour there. He lead me to the kitchen, to get a drink and told me to make myself comfortable while he poured them. I had just slipped off my jacket and sat down when no other than Liam, Dean and Gabriel entered the room. To say that they were shocked to see me was putting it mildly, but nethertheless they looked pleased.
Liam headed straight towards me and scooped me up into a bear hug, which I polity returned. "Hi ya there little temptress." he smirked after he set me down.
"Hi Liam, I missed you." I smiled before turning around to address all of them. "I missed all of you actually."
On cue they all chuckled. "Especially tweedledee and tweedledum here." I said referring to Gabriel and Dean, who always spoke in sync.
"Hey! we resent that"
"Well cry me a river or come over here and give me a hug." I spoke boldly. They happily obliged and swept me up in a nice embrace.
"Kim. Can I just say that you look beautiful" Liam winked.
"I do, don't I?" I chuckled and did a twirl, my hair bouncing all over the place. "So are we drinking or what?"
They all looked kind of spaced out, staring at me like I'd groan another head over the few weeks we've been apart. "What?" I finally snapped after a few minutes of staring.
It took them a while but they snapped out of it and mumbled "nothing" under their breaths. Strange but okay.
The party was still after three hours, hell of a lot fun. I'd lost count over how many shoots me and the boys took," me and the boys" It sounded so strange that I actually giggled out loud. We've been dancing almost the entire night, only stopping to get some air or another drink but other than that, nothing. It was fun and the boys had made themselves into a little cocoon forming around me. A few guys had made a pass at me, but I had made it very clear to them that I wasn't interested and if they wouldn't let me go, both Dean and Liam came to my rescue and slapped them around. It was comforting to have them there to support and protect me. But they weren't they guy I wanted to be there, holding me. I wanted Jared. And when I came to that realization, the party wasn't that much fun anymore. I didn't exactly help that someone spilled a drink on me or that my feet were killing me. When the clock turned one all I really wanted was to go home and snuggle up in my comfy bed. So on that note I went to find Adam. It took me sometime but I finally saw him talking to a cute brunette upstairs.
"Hey Adam. I need you to take me home" I slurred. The words tasted bad in my mouth and my head felt foggy.
He broke away from the girl long enough to say. "Sure just give me a sec and I'll be right with you."
I managed to nod at his words before the nausea kicked in. I hated to barf so I pushed it down and tried to breath evenly, as hard as it was. It only took him a couple of minutes of reassuring the girl that he'd be right back to come over to me.
"You okay?" he asked slowly.
Scared that talking would make me even feel worse I nodded.
"C'mon I'll take you home" he chuckled, obviously enjoying my discomfort. He put his arm around my shoulders and lead me outside to his car. The bumpiness of the car ride made my stomach churn in protest, until he suddenly pulled to a stop.
"What are you doing?" I asked when he made his way over his seat to mine with his hands and mouth.
Instead of answering he laid soft kisses to my neck and shoulders, his fingers laid dangerously close to my breast, right below them. I pulled his hands away in shock and pushed him off as an attempt to make him stop. But when he didn't stop, but rather took it as an indication to touch my breast I snapped back.
"Stop Adam! I don't want to do this."
But still he continued, murmuring against my skin how much he wanted me, how sexy I was. I grabbed his hand roughly and shoved him aside. He squirmed in his seat in an attempt to come closer and placed one of his hands on my knee. He was sliding it up along my thigh pushing my dress up a little and that's when it got serious. He started grabbing my dress strap with his other hand to pull it down.
"Get off! Don't touch me" I slurred out.
"C'mon Kim. I can make you feel so good. Don't you want to feel good?" He looked at me, his eyes hooted and glazed.
No, my mind shrieked. This was wrong, I felt disgusting and scared. What if he wasn't going to stop? You have to try Kim, you have to make him stop.
"No" I shrieked determend. I pushed him off once more and deflated his advances to get closer to me again. "Let me out Adam!" I said sobbing.
Now he looked down right pissed. He grabbed my strap again and pulled hard enough to rip it, I squealed in fear. "You're such a fucking tease Kim. Parading around in that skimp little dress of yours all night, making me want you, hard for you. Only to deny me?" He glared at me with such anger, my fear choked me.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to." I stuttered out through each nerve wrecking sob.
"Well I'm not going to let you" He gritted through clenched teeth. "Want me! Love me!" He whispered angrily.
This time he didn't just stop with the touching but rather lifted himself of his own seat to mine. He trapped me under him, hitting me across the cheek in the process. I was sobbing so hard, tears clouded my vision. I'd lost control over my limbs, which were shaking uncontrollably. Didn't he see that I didn't want this? Was he gonna do it anyways? Did he even care what he was doing to me? When he attacked my lips with his, grinding them against mine almost painfully, something inside me cracked. And I got back the strength I needed. I pushed him off me, knead him right in the groin and grabbed the door handle in haste. I squirmed my way from under his hunched figure and crawled out the door. Sobs ranking my body the entire time while doing so. I could hear him groaning loudly in the car, muttering fucking bitch under his breath. This only made me even more scared. I willed myself to stand up and when I finally did I ran as fast as I could through the open road. I could hear him screaming my name in the distance behind me, yelling "I'm sorry Kim. I didn't mean it. Please come back" But I didn't. I kept running and running until I couldn't hear anything at all. And only then did I stop to catch my breath.
Out of sheer exhaustion, I sat down on the empty high way and cried. I cried so hard my whole body shook. I didn't know where I was or how I was supposed to get home. So I cried out of fear, exhaustion, relief and frustration. I tried fixing my neck strap that held the dress up, but I couldn't so I just gave up. I was just about to cry again when I heard a noise from behind me. Fearing that it was Adam, I quickly got up and was just prepared to run if necessary. But it wasn't, In the shadow I saw the figure belonging to the man I gave my heart to a long time ago, Jared.
"Kim?" He whispered chocked, moving closer until he was standing a few feet away. Unable to handle the distance between us, I ran into his arms, crying along the way. He gathered me up in his arms, stroking my hair soothingly.
"Kim, honey? Please you're scaring me. What are you doing here? what happened?" He asked trying to get a good look at my bruised face, stroking the hair out of the way. Rage clouded his vision when he saw the red finger prints along my cheek. "Who did this to you" He growled lowering his gaze, shaking with fury.
I choked on the words and the tears trying to tell him what happened. Each word came out followed by panting and sobbing. " H-h-he -sob- t-tried -sob- t-to -panting- R-r-ra -choking- " I couldn't get the last word out, and I could tell that it didn't matter, he understood anyways. He saw my ripped strap and stared at it for so long, I worried about his sanity. It wasn't until I saw his eyes, I saw how furious he was. No furious was an insult to the aggressive he was.
"I'm going to kill him." He said it so calmly, I believed him and became scared.
"N-no !" I stammered. "P-please don't go. P-please don't leave me."
"It's okay honey. I got you, you're safe. I'll protect you. I'm so sorry Kim. It's all my fault. I'm so so sorry. So sorry" He choked on each word. I wanted to tell him that it wasn't his fault, but I couldn't get a single sound out. "He's going to pay. He messed with the wrong guy's girl. He is fucking dead."
"P-please Jared, I'm cold. " I uttered exhausted. "I wanna go home" I said weakly, feeling my eyelids drop slightly.
He pulled me up into his arms, as if I weighed no more than a feather. "It's okay baby, I got you. You're safe, I'm here. Sleep baby sleep." He repeated it until he lulled me into a dreamless sleep.
This one was especially heavy for me to write, since my sister went through the same thing a couple of years ago. It still aches deep inside, what this monster did to my sister and how it affected her. And that's why I chose the title "Blured Lines" for this chapter. TO CLARIFY that there is no such thing as blurred lines! If a girl says no! She means no! And that you should back the fuck off. Not that she's playing hard to get or in this case is a "tease"!
For anyone who's ever been through this... I don't really know what to say other than that you are beautiful, strong and a fighter. I hold so much respect for people who fights and know that no matter where you are or who you are, I will always be here if you ever want to talk.
I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I'm completely exhausted so Imma sleep now.
Nighty night!