Hi, let me just start by apologizing for the incredibly long wait... Would it be totally cliché if I blamed it on writers block?
Anyways, A lot of things have happened to me and I haven't really been feeling well enough to write. But I'm gonna start again, sort of like a healing writing therapy.
I hope you enjoy this really difficult chapter..
DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS!
"Okay." was all I could think of saying, and clearly by his expression it wasn't what he had imagined me saying. Maybe he thought I would scream at him, freak out, throw stuff at him or maybe even called him a liar. But as his words traveled through my mind, all I could think of was the word okay. On repeat, over and over. Like a crazy non stop loop. A broken record. And that's kind of how I felt, broken. Clearly something was horribly wrong with me. Why am I not running?
He sighed, and rubbed his temple. " Clearly, your mental state is perfectly stable, hm?" He arched one of those damn judging brows as he stared me down.
"Watch it buddy." I growled.
No reply, no change in his posture, nothing. It was like having a conversation with a lamp post.
I sighed, "You mind explaining?"
He shrugged, which he didn't use to do before. "It is simple really"
I glared at him, "Oh is it? You mind evaluating for us beneath your intelligence capacity?" I muttered, but left out the asshole part. Didn't really think he would appreciate it.
"You my duva, is what they call a siren."
"I thought you said I was a nymph?" I interrupted.
He shot me an annoyed glance, before continuing "As I was saying, before you so rudely interrupted me was that you are a siren but your father is a nymph. The king actually, fucking asshole in my opinion but the king non the less."
"Hey that's my father your speaking of" I said through gritted teeth.
He stared at me with a peculiar look, "The one who abandoned you?"
My stomach churned, and I had to look away before the tears came into my eyes. "Yeah, that one " I mumbled weakly.
He cleared his throat awkwardly before bending down and grabbing a branch to fiddled with it. He stared thoughtfully at it, sliding it between his slender fingers before snapping it entirely. "I miss it." he whispered so quietly I almost didn't hear it.
"Miss what?" I asked gently, he looked away and I pushed again. "Tell me"
He stared at the broken branch with longing in his eyes, tinged with sadness at the edge of it. "Being free"
"Me to"
"You are free Kimberly. You can do anything your heart desires"
"No I'm not, and no I can't." I chuckled sadly. "Sure my body is free, but my mind isn't. I have all these responsibilities now. I have to save my mother, save Jared, save you and myself." I looked away. " I miss the day where my biggest worry was about trying not to get mud on my clothes."
"I am already dead Kimberly, do not waste your breath on a man with his foot in the grave"
I shook my head, " I will find a way to save you, even if it kills me."
He chuckled so softly it made my lips quirk up, He stepped forward and dragged his cold hand along my cheek. "Min duva, so much strength. It will be your downfall"
"It won't. " I smiled, "It will be the cause of my victory"
He gazed into my eyes, his eyes so black and sad it made my heart clench. "You must find your father. He will aid you, and hopefully explain everything"
"How will I find him?"
"He is all around you, all you need to do is look and feel him"
"What does that mean?"
"Exactly what I said." He leaned forward and placed a kiss on my forehead," Time to awake the fire within you min duva, goodbye"
"Will I ever see you again?" I asked in a cracked voice.
"Perhaps." He smiled softly, "Maybe in another life time"
I felt the tear slide along my cheek, before one of his fingers brushed it away. "Do not waste your tears on me little dove, we will see each other again."
I nodded, before sliding my arms around his slender waist and buried my face in his chest. "I will come back for you, I promise."
I felt the rigidness leave his body after a couple of minutes, before he let one of his arms rest on my waist and the other one enclose in my hair. He muttered the usual spell into my hair, and I felt the usual enveloping of powers pull me away from him.
My mind, body and soul ached from the all consuming gut wrenching responsibilities weighing me down.
It's been 13 days, 5 hours and 26 minutes since I last saw my mother alive. 13 days since I last saw those horrible men. And 12 days since I last had a dream about Amoz.
It seems that you really have to be careful what you wish for, cause you might just get it. I wished for someone to sweep me off my feet and take me on an adventure, I guess I got it. Different circumstances though. Not entirely what I had in mind, but same nonetheless. Our adventure would have been considered an orthodox road trip, if it weren't for the constant fear lingering in the back of my mind. The nagging sensation almost drove me to the edge so many times, it was hard to keep track of it.
I was fading and he. He was noticing.
We've been moving around a lot, never staying in the same place for more than a couple of days. Jared, he was my rock. He kept me grounded and at the brink of sanity. Always coming to the rescue, having bright ideas of how we were going to get by. Making money wasn't an option, so we became creative. Which apparently meant stealing and doing whatever necessary to survive. We changed cars every other day, far apart enough to not raise any suspicions. The only thing worse that could happen now, that would be the cherry of this crap-tastic sunday would be having the law on our tail. So we learned how to become sneaky, smart. It's kill or be killed.
I've kept count of how many cities we've been in, and now we were up to 5 if you included our current position, Roseburg. Oregon's timber town, with a total of 21, 181 naive residents.
I missed my mom. The hole in my chest wouldn't fill, couldn't. I felt lost and defeated. Each day my sadness grew and a little part of my hope disappeared into the ever growing darkness. I saw her everywhere I looked. In the high trees, in the women I passed on the street. Everywhere I turned there she was, looking a little bit worse than she did before. A little more beaten down and worn.
"We can't give up. If we go down, we go down fighting." Jared's words ringed in my ears. His words made perfect sense logically, but emotionally I just wanted to crawl up inside a corner and die.
Nobody ever told me that emotion and logic didn't co-exist in harmony. And that, was only one of the harsh truths I've had to face in a small amount of time.
One thing I didn't dare to face yet was, were our time already up?
There was this raging war inside of me. Every side had their strengths and their weaknesses. One wanted to give up, go back and beg for mercy. And the other wanted to kick their teeth in and watch them all burn to the ground.
You have to be strong, you have to be brave, you have to get up and fight. This is survival of the fittest. There's no second try, no do over. If you fail than it's game over. For everyone.
We were sitting in a secluded diner, on a route called god knows what, eating two perfectly bland burgers and fries. It's nutrition, it keeps you going, was all I could think of while shoving a french frie into my mouth. Chew, chew, chew, swallow, take a sip of coke, repeat until the plate is empty. Jared didn't speak as much anymore, part of it was my fault. I told him everything about what Amoz had said about my dad, and ever since then he's been hell bent on figuring out what he had meant. Me? I simply couldn't find the urge to care anymore. Seemed pointless.
My breaking point happened four days ago. Jared and I had been trying to figure out what Amoz meant for 9 day straight at that point. And coming up with shit to show for it. Instead of giving into the sinking feeling in my stomach, I plastered a smile on my face and went out to gather supplies with him. Before we made it to the wall mart across the street, we took a short cut through the cemetery.
The bag strap digging into my shoulder couldn't even keep me grounded, when I saw the tombstone in front of me. It was just. fucking. there. Staring at me, taunting me.
Loving mother, 1947 - 2005
Numb, I whispered to no one in particular. "That's gonna be her soon"
"Don't" His voice sounded clipped, but distant at the same time.
"You know it's true, and there ain't nothing you can do about it. This is her future. And me? I'm gonna be lying right next to her"
"Stop" He snarled, before grabbing me roughly by the shoulders and turning me towards his heated gaze.
His fingers dug into my shoulder blades and made me realize. "You should leave."
His whole posture froze and flinched away, as I had slapped him. "You don't mean that"
"Yeah I do. I don't care anymore. I just - " I sighed and looked away. "I just want it to be over"
He reached out and grabbed my chin, forcing my gaze towards his. "Don't ever say that again! Especially not to me."
"You just don't get it! I'm a freak!" I snarled, "And we've been trying so hard, so so hard Jared. But do we have any other solutions? huh? No. It's down between two choices. Me dying, alone. Or all of us dying, together. If I had to choose, I'd pick option number fucking one" I screamed. " We can't keep running, no matter how far or how fast. It's inevitable. They. Are. Going. To. Find. Us. " I punctuated each word with strength I didn't even know I had left in me anymore.
"Then we fight!" He objected just as roughly
"Fight!? We don't even know what we're up against!"
"Will figure something out, just- " He sighed "Just give me some time to think before you go storming off and doing something stupid, like getting yourself killed."
"I'm tired." I uttered pathetically, ending further conversation about it.
And that's how I not only just broke myself, but him in the process. I felt such an anger in that second at them, the whole world, at my father. Such injustice. They ruined everything. There were no loving touches anymore, no blushes, no gentle pecks or hungry kisses. Only defeat, sadness and raw fear.
Now here we were, across from each other, yet miles away. Both of us in different directions, where the other couldn't go. Four days and all we've said to each other were simple, Good morning and good night. Do we need more supplies? Do you want anything? Did you come up with anything? No? Okay.
It didn't feel right seeing him like this. Like he was powerless, weak and useless. He didn't think I could see it, but I felt it. Every time he spoke, every time he faked a smile, when he tried being positive but failed. This was killing us. I couldn't have that, he didn't deserve it. Mom and Amoz didn't either. I made them all a promise and I intend on keeping it. Even if it would be the death of me.
"I think you were right" I broke the eternity silence between us.
He looked up at me dazed, and then a little hopeful? Was I really that bad? Obviously I was.
"About what?" He treaded carefully.
"About fighting." I took a huge bite out of my burger, " I want you to teach me"
"You want me to teach you how to fight?" He repeated doubtful.
I gave him my best dull face, that clearly said duuh, "That's what I said?"
" I don't know.." He bit his lip thoughtfully.
I rolled my eyes, "You were the one who suggested that we should fight."
"Well I didn't mean we." He frowned, " I meant we as in I fight, and you watch from a very safe distance."
"Yeah that's never going to happen" I scoffed, "If you fight, then I fight."
I shushed him with my hand before he could protest. "Will you teach me?" I asked again harder.
He removed my hand gently from his mouth, but didn't release it. Rather he dragged his fingers along my palm, gently caressing it.
He nodded, and I did something I hadn't done in days, smiled. It wasn't what it used to be. A little forced, but yet still a little sincere. It was a start, for the both of us.
"We'll start fresh tomorrow morning."
"We're staying in Roseburg?" I asked bewildered. We usually moved on to another place by now. We were already on our third day here.
"Yeah, I kind of like it here. It reminds me of home, don't ya think so?" He smiled softly. It was the first smile I've seen in days, I was surprised by how the sight of it eased a little of the weight on my shoulders.
"Yeah it does." I agreed softly.
The exchange wasn't much, but it was a start.
We made it back rather quickly to the shabby one floored motel, which we paid for with a stolen credit card. I promised myself that I would pay back every cent to the people we robbed when we make it back. If we make it back.
The room had two singles, neither of us really felt like sleeping next to each other these past couple of days. But now, I craved it. I looked at the beds begrudgingly. And sighed before making my way over to the tiny bathroom. Jared was taking of his shoes by the door before making sure it was locked. He had a special routine he developed a few day into the wild goose chase, that were currently our lives. First he would take of his shoes, locking the door was next and then he would make his way over to the windows, checking the area for any sign of trouble, and finally he would close the blinds completely. Paranoia was his new best friend . Which thankfully kept both him and I alive for this long.
"I'm just gonna freshen up" I broke his worried stare trance out the window.
"Okay"
I changed into my pjs, a simple white T and a pair of cotton pants. Brushed my hair and combed it back into a high pigtail before starting with my teeth. I was beat, not just tired, exhausted. I felt like sleeping for a thousand years, but also for the first time in forever I felt a tiny glimmer of excitement. I had a purpose tomorrow. Becoming better never seemed more important. I had something to keep my body and mind occupied with. I left the bathroom with a tiny smile on my lips, and saw Jared form resting on the bed closest to the window. He was just as exhausted as I was. Not giving a damn anymore, I snuggled down under the covers besides him. I inched my body closer to his, pressing my face into his back before finally letting out a sigh of contentment.
He stirred softly, "Kim?" He murmured sleepy
"Hmm?" I mumbled tired with my eyes still shut.
"C'mere" He ordered, instead of his bare back I was now met by his bare chest. He slipped his arm around my waist, pulling me flat against him. He slid his other arm around my neck, his hand weaseling itself into my hair. "I don't like this ponytail" He grumbled before removing it and letting my hair cascade around my shoulders. A second later both his hand and his nose plunged itself into my hair. "I missed you"
"Never again" I promised, knowing he would understand what I meant.
"Good"
And that's how I got the most peaceful sleep I've had in days. Crushed against him, warm and safe.
So I know this was a very short chapter, but I actually think it's my favorite one.
I hope you enjoyed it as much as I liked writing it!
Please review any of your thoughts, ideas or just your opinion.
Sincerely, Feelexplosion