This has got to be some kind of record for me. You all have inspired me to write like I have never been inspired before.

Enjoy~

I am lost.

If I am here for only this reason why be here at all? Why did I leave London? Why...

After they left I just sat there, staring at the wall. How could I have given up my life there only to come here to...to this?

London was no better then this.

I wanted to laugh at that. Was there really a part of me that thought that being here, like this, was better then being an empty shell? Was constantly being hurt, both physically and mentally really better?

The silence in my head was answer enough. This was better. I let out a bitter burst of laughter that quickly turned into sobs. Gut wrenching sobs, that only led to more pain in my back.

My mother came over some time later, only to find me a bloody mess, curled up on the couch.

I am lost.

Days past quickly and I was drowning in my own head. Time seemed to bleed into itself as I sunk lower and lower into a dark place in my own mind.

A place I didn't even know existed.

A place born of loneliness, self-hatred, and never-will-be's.

My back healed and I was on my own two feet in what felt like no time at all. My mom went back home and I was left to my apartment, to wonder around, blind to the world.

Axel contacted me every so often but our conjugal visits were down to zip.

Demyx and Zexion visited a lot. Just checking up on me...but their visits didn't last long. One such visit was in progress now...

"Rox..?" Dem asked me and I let my eyes focus on him even if half my brian was still sinking.

"Hm?" I asked as I shifted a little in my position on the couch, curling my legs up under me. Demyxs face said that he thought I was losing it.

"Did you hear me?" he asked, glancing to Zexion who was a mask of indifference as he watched me.

"No, sorry my thoughts drifted." I said with a small smile. "Whats up?" Demyx sighed.

"Axel wants you to come to the manner tonight." he said, his voice slow as if I would have trouble following him if he talked any faster. I kept up my smile and nodded.

"Alright, is he going to send a car or do I need to get there on my own?" I asked. Demyx's face fell and he looked shocked and a little worried.

"Rox..." he said. "Whats the matter with you?" I just smiled.

"Nothing Dem. Why do you ask?" I asked as I slid my eyes over to Zexion who was seemed to be studying me as if he would be tested on it later. Demyx just looked at me, his face a mix of confusion and maybe a little pity.

Not even that could reach me.

They left a short time later, after informing me that a car would be here at 5 to get me. I remained on the couch after they left, just staring at nothing.

How could I have stayed here...how could I have thought he could be who he use to be...

These were my constant thoughts these days, my constant companions. I had sunk myself into this problem but now I didn't know how to get out.

The real problem? The reason I was so screwed up...?

I knew I needed to get out, knew I needed to leave.

But knowing, isn't the same as doing.

I know I need to get out.

I don't want to get out.

Some, sick, twisted part of me liked this. Liked the games, and the pain, and the tears.

A knock came to my door, pulling me from my dark, downward spiral. I pushed myself to my feet and made my way to the door.

"Who is it?" I asked as I stepped into the kitchen and out of the direct line of fire of the door.

"Mom, sweetie. Open up." came my mothers voice. I unlocked the dead bolt and headed back to the living room with out waiting for her to come in. I set back on the couch as the door opened and she came in. "Roxas?" she called.

"In the living room." I said and looked up as she came around the corner. She was all smiles but I could see the strain on her face as she looked around at the silent room.

"I brought some one with me." she said as she stepped around the corner and into the room. I gave her a smile and turned as her 'someone' came into the room.

I was brought crashing back to the ground with a gasp as Namine stepped into my living room. No one said a word as I tried to work through the shock.

"What...what are you doing here?" I finally asked as I stood, shakily to my feet. She gave me her sad smile and I knew why she was here, even before she opened her mouth.

"Your family is worried about you." she said as she moved across the room and towards me. She looked so sad as she examined my face. "And I can't blame them Rox." she said as she read the anger in my face. She reached up and touched my cheek. "I haven't seen this look since we first met." I stepped back away from her and looked toward my mother.

"Did you call her?" I asked. "Did you bring her here?"

"Yes, I called her. But she was already coming to the states for an art exhibit, I just asked her to make a stop along the way." she said, crossing her arms. "And now I will leave you two to catch up." She turned and was gone before I could say anything.

"Sit down Rox." Namine said as she sat on the couch. I lowered myself slowly into the cushion, my face still turned away from her.

"Why did you come Namine?" I asked. I heard her sigh and shift a little.

"I've been worried about you, and when your mother called and told me what had happened, about what Axel and Vincent..." I flinched a little. "did. I knew you needed someone to talk too."

"If I needed to talk then I would have talked to someone one here by now." I snapped and turned to glare at her. She glared right back.

"And yet, here you sit, in an empty apartment, staring off into space and completely ignoring the people around you." she said. I closed my eyes.

"I don't know what to say to them." I said, my voice soft. "This is my problem.." I felt her take my hand and squeeze. I looked back up at her.

"Tell me." she said, her face set in determination.

"There is nothing to tell." I said as I pulled my hand from hers.

"Bull shit." she said and she snatched my hand back. "Something is eating away at you from the inside out and I will sit right here until you tell me what it is." I glared at her once again and tried to pull my hand away.

"I don't know what you want me to say?!" I said, my voice raising slightly.

"Whatever is on your mind." she said, her eyes searching my face.

"Whatever is on my mind?" I asked, my voice near hysterics. "What would you like to hear about?!" I stood and started pacing. "How I don't seem to remember what the hell I'm doing here?! How I question my sanity every day because I stayed here with a man who clearly can't love me the way that I love him? Or maybe how part of me wants to stay here even when most of me knows that I need to get the hell out? Which would you like to hear?" I asked as I rounded on her, my hands in my hair. She stood slowly and took my hands in hers and set me back on the couch before she set next to me.

She looked me dead in the eye, her face set.

"All of it." she said, and I broke down into a sobbing mess.

A few hours later found me curled up on my couch, puffy and red eyed, a cup of hot tea in my hands and a blanket wrapped around my shoulders. Namine set next to me, digesting all that I had told her.

"I think its time to face the fact that staying here was a bad idea." She said after a lengthy pause. I snorted into my tea.

"I know it was." I said.

"Let me finish." she said and I waved her to go on. "As I was saying, its time to face the fact that it was a bad decision and move on from that. You can't go back and undo the mistake and you can't run away again, we both know that didn't work out the first time."

"What do you suggest I do?" I asked, feeling a little miffed. Running away was starting to sound good...maybe.

"Stay and make this work." she said. I just stared at her. She rolled her eyes. "Stop looking at me like I just told you to do the impossible."

"You basically did. You want me to stay here and try to make things work with Axel?" I asked, my voice and face clearly showing my disbelief.

"Yes." she said and I started to tell her just how crazy she was. "Listen Roxas." she said cutting me off. "You love him." I opened my mouth to argue but she placed her hand over it. "Don't argue. Yes, it was dumb to stay, but its done. Leaving now would only piss him off, and this time Rox, he isn't going to let you walk away. So stay and make it work. Do whatever you have to do to be happy."

"I can't stay just because he won't let me leave." I said as I pushed her hand away. "In fact that would be a pretty good reason to leave."

"There are other people here who you can't walk out on Roxas." she said and I deflated.

"I know." I groaned and let my eyes drift to the balcony door. A glint of silver in the fading daylight caught my eye on the opposite roof.

And then the rest of reality set it. I felt the blood drain from my face as I shot to my feet.

"Rox?" Namine asked, suddenly worried.

"You can't be here." I said as I dashed for the balcony door and pulled the curtains shut. "Why did you come here?" I hissed as I turned to her, she seemed to be confused and a little worried.

"Whats the matter?" she asked as she watched me move toward the door.

"What the fuck do you think he'll do?!" I said as I flew to the front door and slammed the dead bolt home. I came back to the living room and Namine was just standing there looking confused. I picked up my phone. "If he finds out your here Nam..." I looked to her and I finally saw realization set in and a little fear.

"Roxas..." she said and I held up my hand as I dialed my brothers number.

"It's good to hear from you Rox." Cloud said when he answered the phone.

"Did you know about Mom's visitor?" I asked.

"I'm doing good. How are you? Mom said you weren't feeling well these days."

"Fuck, your with Axel?" I asked as I started to pace.

"Yeah, well get better soon. You should call Leon, he asked about you this morning."

"Alright. I will." I said and hung up.

"What did he say?" Namine asked as she set back on the couch.

"Just that he's with Axel and to call Leon." I said as I dialed Leon's number.

"Hey kid."

"Leon I need help." I said as I glanced to Namine. I could feel him snap to attention.

"Whats wrong?"

"Mom brought Namine here. Axel can't know she's in town Leon. I need to get her to the airport." I said.

"Rox, my flight doesn't leave till tomorrow." Namine said but I held my hand up.

"Vincent is the one watching you today, if he knows, Axel knows."

"Fuck!" I swore as I started to pace. "We have to assume that he doesn't know yet.

"Alright, give me a bit to get there. Stay inside and keep the windows and curtains closed."

"Alright, Thanks Leon." I said before hanging up the phone.

"Rox what am I suppose to do? My plane isn't till tomorrow and my reservations at my hotel aren't until tomorrow." she said as she followed me back to my room. I turned on my laptop.

"Get online and find a flight that leaves today and see if you can get the hotel for tonight as well. I'll pay for it." I said as I went to my closet and started to look for something to wear. "I'm going to be picked up by one of Axel's drivers at 5 and I'll be with him all evening. Hopefully that will be enough to keep him distracted so that you can get to the airport without incident."

"Roxas this is ridiculous." she said and I rounded on her.

"Don't pretend that the conversation we just had didn't happen Namine." I said, my anger rising. "I just told you what he's done already, and there are no limitations or ways to predict what he'll do. You need to go." She looked a little hurt. "Don't get me wrong." I said, closing my eyes and trying to bring in my temper. "I am grateful that you came, but it's too dangerous."

"Rox..." she started to say but I closed the distance between us and hugged her.

"No, this time you need to listen to me." I said as I pulled back and gazed into her eyes. "This is my world. Yes it was a mistake, but like you said, I have to live with it and stop running away, but you don't. And you won't, I won't let you." She nodded, her face finally showing the fear that needed to be there. She set at the computer and I got dressed.

"I found a flight that leaves at 6." She said as I pulled on a pair of dark blue jeans. "The hotel will be a little trickier..." I pulled out a deep v-necked muscle shirt and pulled it over my head. I tied on my leather necklace that hugged my neck and called the outfit complete.

"Make it work." I said as I moved to the bathroom and brushed my teeth and hair. My heart was pounding as I grabbed socks out of the dryer and headed back to the room. I pulled on my socks and black converse just as a knock came to the door. I froze, as did Namine.

"Stay here." I said as I got up and went out into the hall. I closed the bedroom door behind me and went for the front door. "Who is it?" I called out.

"Leon."

I opened the door and let Leon in.

"Your ride is here." he said as he glanced toward my closed bedroom door. I ran my hands through my hair.

"Alright," I said as I led him to my room. We entered the room and I introduced Leon to Namine.

"Nice to finally meet you Namine." Leon said as he shook the small woman's hand.

"You too." she said.

"Okay" I said. "My ride is here so I have to go. Leon, Namine got a flight that leaves at 6, you just have to get her there. I'll be with Axel so hopefully it'll keep his attention on me. But you need to be careful still, take main roads and stick to public places. I want her on that plane and gone." Leon patted my shoulder.

"No worries. She's safe with me Rox." He said as he set on my bed. "We'll wait here till 5:30 and then head out, I'm on my bike so we should be able to get there quick." I nodded and picked up my phone from the dresser and slid it into my pocket.

"Text me when she's on the plane." I said to Leon before I turned to Namine. She gave me a shaky smile as I went and hugged her.

"Thank you for coming and I'm sorry for this." I said as she hugged me back.

"It's alright. I'll call you in a few days." she said as we pulled away.

"Alright. Talk to you then." I said as I headed for the door.

"Bye Rox." she said. I glanced back at her and smiled.

"Bye Nam." I said before I left the room and then the apartment.

I found the black car waiting for me just out side the building, but it wasn't the car that had me frozen on the sidewalk. The man I didn't recognized standing by the back door is what had me frozen to the spot.

He wasn't overly suspicious looking, he was wearing the same thing that Vincent usually wore, black pants and a black shirt. He had black hair that was tied back from his face so I couldn't tell how long it was. He wore dark sunglasses so I couldn't see his eyes but I had the feeling that they wouldn't have helped me a whole lot. No... not really suspicious but he sent off my creepy meter like a mother fucker. He was standing perfectly still, just watching me as I watched him, not saying a word.

I reached into my back pocket and he finally moved, just a shift of weight from one foot to the other but I could tell it was a shift that meant he was ready for trouble. I slowly pulled out my phone and unlocked the screen. I hit Axel's name in my phone and raised it to my face, the whole time I never took my eyes off the man in front of me. His lack of facial expressions and his silence was unnerving.

"Yes Roxas?" Came Axels voice from my phone and I snapped back to the here and now.

"Who did you send to pick me up?" I asked, keeping my voice suspicious.

"His name is Variedy. Get in the car, he's safe." I snorted a little at the name.

"What does he look like?" I asked as 'Variedy' shifted again, this time back to his other foot. I got the impression that it was his relaxed stance, which simply didn't make sense.

"Black hair, black cloths, silent, deadly."

"Axel you just described at least half the men that worked for you." I said with a huff.

"What the hell do you want me to say Roxas? He is Variedy! Just get in the damn car."

"And what if he's being impersonated?" I asked, trying to sound reasonable but probably coming off as paranoid.

"Roxas.."

"Ask him what color my eyes are." The man said and I suddenly didn't want him to talk. Ever. His voice was hard and empty and it scared the shit out of me.

"Wha...what color are his eyes?" I asked Axel and I couldn't help the quiver in my voice. I heard Axel sigh.

"His left is gold, his right is red." At the same moment Variedy took off his sunglasses.

Well that was all the proof I needed. His left eye was a strange sort of gold, yellow that would have been creepy all on its own but then the right was red, but not like Vincent's eyes. In the right light Vincent's eyes could pass as brown but this guy...his right eye was red, like blood had filled his iris.

"Okay, I'll be there soon." I said and Axel hung up. Variedy opened the back door of the car for me but I didn't move right away. I gulped as I moved toward the car, I paused as I was passing him and looked up. It was even worse from up close. Not only were his eyes strangely colored but they were empty, and not empty like cop eyes or Vincent's but like dead empty. There was nothing behind those eyes that was even remotely normal.

I wished I hadn't looked up at all. I slid into the car and the door was shut and I turned my head to watch him walk around the car and get into the drivers seat. He even moved like a predator. I buckled my seat belt as we pulled away from the curb.

Did you know that silence could be deafening? I didn't, not until that car ride with Variedy. I didn't know who he was to Axel, I knew he wasn't in the elite but he was someone. Someone important, someone dangerous.

By the time we arrived at the manor I was itching to get away from the strange man. He had said nothing on the way over here, not one damn word. He didn't even seem to breath. We pulled into the garage and I got out of the car and headed for the door to the kitchen but a hand on my upper arm stopped me. I froze and turned my head slowly to look back at Variedy, I glanced down at his hand and realized he was wearing black gloves. He just kept getting stranger and stranger.

"Not that way." he said and nodded his head toward another door to the left. I opened my mouth to argue but he silenced me with a glance. I gulped and followed him to the other door. Now that I was behind him I could see that his pony tail trailed all the way down his back and had strips of red through out it.

He reached for the door knob but froze. I glanced around his shoulder for a split second before he spun around and grabbed me by my shoulders and shoved me to the floor. "Under the car." he said and I rolled under the low sitting vehicle that we had been standing by.

I slid under a little further on my stomach as Variedy slid in next to me. A moment later the door we had been going through came open and a pair of red stilettos appeared followed by several pairs of mens shoe.

"Which car Mrs. DeNarro?" came a voice I thought I might recognize.

"One of the limo's is fine." she said as the group moved through the garage. "Something with room to move around in." I shifted a little and Variedy shot me a look that had me wishing I was a hundred miles away. An engine started and several car doors opened and then closed. I listened for the limo to back out and started to move to get out but was stopped by Variedy. I looked over to find him with the side of this face pressed to the cement floor, his eyes closed. He held up a finger telling me to wait, then a moment later a pair of mens shoes came back to the door and disappeared inside.

"Now." he said and I slid out and got to my feet. He followed close behind and pushed me toward the door. "Get inside, take a right. Go into the first door you come too." I looked back for a moment but was met by his empty gaze. I quickly turned back to the door and went inside.

I was in a hallway. A stark, plain hallway that could have been in any house anywhere. I took a right down the hall and took the first door that I came too, slipping in silently and closing the door gently behind me. I pressed myself to the wall beside the closed door and looked around. I was in what might have once been a bedroom but was now just an empty room. Well mostly empty, there was a single bed against the wall to my left. It was kind of unnerving.

I wasn't sure how long I was suppose to stay there, or what I was waiting for. I was just about to open the door again when the door knob turned and the door was pushed open slightly.

"Let's go." came the dead voice of Variedy. I slipped back out the door and closed it behind me and then proceeded to follow the strange man down the hall way. We seemed to not be in any more danger as we were currently walking at a normal pace down the hall. We came to another door at the end of the hall way and Variedy paused and glanced back at me over his left shoulder, giving me the view of his gold eye. "You know the rules?" he asked me and I nodded. He muttered something that I didn't catch as he reached for the door nob.

"I'm...I'm sorry. What was that?" I asked as he pushed the door opened. He looked back at me again but this time from the right.

"I hate the rules." he said and then something akin to a smile might have ghosted across his face and it scared the shit out of me. I gulped but made no reply as he started forward again.

We were now in the main entrance hall with its grand stair case. I kept close to Variedy as there seemed to be quite a few more people around today then at my previous visits. Better the devil you know then the devil you don't, right? Wrong. We didn't make it ten steps before we were stopped by a blond man with piercings lining his ears.

"Well, well, well." the man said, his british accent was thick. "Look who's been allowed back inside, had your nose rubbed in your piss a sufficient amount dog?" I thought the man must have some kind of mental disorder. Sure he had a few inches on Variedy but my black haired escort was sending off waves of violence and he wasn't even trying.

"Move." was all Variedy said as he stared the blond man down. Blondie simply folded his arms and lifted his chin. He opened his mouth to say something (probably something regrettable) but another voice cut him off.

"Luxord, unless you have a wish to lose a large amount of body parts. I suggest you step aside." Vincent had materialized from somewhere and was now standing a few steps away from the two man currently facing off. I took that as my cue and took a few well chosen steps back as well.

Then it happened. One second the blond man (Luxord) was standing there, glaring down at Variedy, then Variedy shifted his weight (much like he had done back at my apartment) but this time the movement was followed up by action. His left leg shot out and took Luxord in the stomach, sending the man to his knees. Luxord tried to swing but Variedy had a hold of his forearm. He stepped back, spun slightly, pressed his knee to the back of Luxords elbow and a loud crack filled the hall way, followed by an earsplitting scream.

The blond fell to the floor and Variedy bent down by his head and grabbed a hand full of his hair. He pulled the blonds head up and said something in his ear, I had the pleasure of watching Luxords face. Whatever Variedy said to him washed his face clean of color.

I saw Vincent sigh and motion over a few of the on lookers. He spook to them and then they went and picked Luxord up off the ground and started to carry him away.

"It's good to see you again Variedy." Vincent said as he moved towards us. I instinctively moved closer to Variedy again, Vincent was still on my shit list. Variedy seemed to pick up on this as he glanced from me then to Vincent. His face seemed to change slightly after a moment, almost like some wall went down. He didn't seem as...dead.

"You haven't kept your men in shape I see." he said as he glanced around the hall. "Axel is letting you all go soft."

"Everything is soft compared to you." Vincent said with a smirk. Variedy seemed to consider this for a moment and then smiled. Not like a normal smile, but his eyes lifted slightly and the ends of his mouth relaxed...well it was kind of a smile. The closest he could get anyway.

"I'm the best at what I do." he said. I cleared my throat and suddenly I had both pairs of eyes on me. It was unnerving as hell. (Unnerving was becoming my new favorite word). I shifted uncomfortably on the spot.

"Could we maybe get to Axel now?" I asked, making sure that my question was directed at Variedy. He just stared at me for a moment and then motioned for me to go first. "Thank you." I said, slightly relieved.

"He's in the second floor dinning room." Vincent said from behind us as we started up the stairs. I pulled out my phone as we reached the second floor but didn't have any new messages. I really hoped that Namine had made it to the airport already. Variedy stopped me at a door and he reached out and knocked.

"Come in." Came Axels voice from inside. Variedy nodded to me and I opened the door and went inside. The room was a large dinning room currently set for two. Axel was seated at the table and on his phone. He looked up and smiled when he saw me. "Hello love." he said as he stood and moved around the table. I went to him and wrapped my arms around his neck. I inhaled his scent and felt my body relax. Dumb, huh?

"Hey." I said into his chest. He gave me a gentle squeeze and then pulled away slightly, keeping me in his arms but his attention was now on the other man in the room.

"Variedy, it's good to see you." he said. I shifted slightly so I was under one of Axels arms and could see the other man. Variedy was still standing by the door, his left hand in his pocket and the other hanging by his side.

"I'm only here because you asked nicely." Variedy said and Axel laughed.

"You know me Variedy. I only ever ask nicely." My red head said. I might have been seeing things, but I think Variedy rolled his eyes.

"So I'm guessing the blond is the one you called me about?" The black haired man said and his eyes flickered to me for a moment. I frowned a little and looked up at Axel.

"Yes, this is Roxas." he said and he squeezed me slightly and kissed my temple. My heart fluttered a little but I was trying to concentrate on where this conversation was going. Variedy's eyes were on me now and I wished they weren't.

"I've got my work cut out for me then." he said.

"Alright, not that this isn't fun, but lets clue me in to what were talking about here." I said as I pulled away from Axel and crossed my arms.

"Roxas, this is Variedy. He is the man that trained my elite, and he will be training you in self defense." Axel said and I about gagged. I had to spend alone time with this man and let him beat the shit out of me?

"Uhhh, Axe..." I started to say but was cut off.

"You promised me." he said as my eyes met his. I closed my mouth as we gazed at each other for a moment. I finally sighed and hung my head.

"Fine." I muttered. I looked to Variedy and scanned him up and down like he had done me. "This should be interesting."

"Hardly." the strange man said before he turned and was gone. I stood with my mouth opened for a moment and Axel chuckled.

"Sit, dinner should be ready soon." he said as he moved back to his chair that he had been in when I had come in. I took the chair across from him.

"You really are going to trust me to that man?" I asked. "He seems a bit unstable." Axel picked up my wine glass and poured me a glass of red wine.

"I trust him with me." he said.

"No, you trusted him to teach the people who protect you. Now your not only trusting him to teach me but also not to brake me..." I trailed off as I thought of all the contained violence that man seemed to have and shuddered. Axel took my hand and squeezed it. I looked up at him and he gave me a soft smile.

"You'll be fine. Vincent is going to over see your training to make sure that things don't get out of hand." he said and I felt my heart drop. Great, just what I need.

"Why can't someone else teach me? Like Riku or Leon or anyone else?" I asked, starting to sound a little desperate.

"Because none of them are Variedy." he said, as if it were the most simple fact in the world. I gave him a skeptical look.

"What qualifies him?" I asked. Axel gave a soft smile that kinda creeped me out.

"Variedy is the thing that all little assassins are taught are waiting for them in the dark if they fucked up. If your smart you fear him because fear is healthy and will keep you alive. If your even smarter you respect him, because he has skills that make most people run screaming. He had a sparkling clean record before he retired but even being retried, he is still the boogie man of assassins." Axel said. Not one word of that helped reassure me. AT ALL.

"Alright." I said, trying to sound a little less nervous. "So, how come I haven't seen you?" I asked, deciding to change the subject. He let go of my hand and set back in his chair.

"Things have been rocky around here with me and Larxerene. I didn't want to take the chance of her trying to follow me." he said. I held my breath for a moment, just a moment. I was going to get better at this. I had too.

"Where is she tonight then?" I asked, my voice perfectly normal. Axel had his eyes glued to me, watching for a slip up.

"Visiting her parents in California." he said. "She'll be back Monday." I picked up my wine and took a sip.

"Mmm, well then, we have the whole weekend then." I said with a smile. He waited a moment, watching me, and just when I thought the strain of smiling would become to much, he smiled back.

"Indeed." was all he said. The door opened again and a man dressed in a butlers uniform came in.

"Mr. DaNarro, dinner is ready." the man said with a deep bow. Axel nodded his head and a few more people came in carrying trays.

"So Roxas, have you thought about looking for a job here?" Axel asked me while the waiters laid out our plates.

"I haven't given it much thought but I suppose I will have too eventually." I said as I examined my food.

"Have you thought about just keeping your Dad's business?" he asked as he picked up his fork and started in. I followed suit and found the food was delicious.

"I considered it, but I have no interest in it really. Mom thinks I should sell it to Cid but I haven't spoken with him yet." I said after I swallowed my first bite.

"Cid would be a good candidate, if any. I think we could get along nicely." he said. My phone buzzed in my pocket and I pulled it out to find a text from Leon

Have a good evening kid.

I was very careful not to seemed to relieved as I sent back a quick, thank you.

"Who was that?" Axel asked as I picked back up my fork.

"Leon." I said. "Just telling me to have a good evening."

The rest of dinner was really nice, we talked and ate, we even laughed a few times. By the time the plates were cleared away I was as relaxed in Axel's presence as I had ever been since coming home.

"Thank you for dinner." I said as I sipped my wine. He raised his glass to me.

"My pleasure love." he said before he sipped from his glass but kept his eyes on me. "So how was your visit with Namine?" My heart stopped and I chocked on my wine.

"Wh...what?" I asked, sputtering a little. My mind was going a mile a minute, trying to come up with something to say. The only thing I could think was, Of course this evening couldn't go well. Axel set his wine glass down and set back in his chair, the picture of calm.

"How was your visit with Namine?" he said again, his voice level. I searched his face but found no trace of any emotions, one way or the other.

"Uhh It was...uh unexpected." I said, as my hands clutched at the arms of my chair.

"Hmm, not exactly an answer." he said. A knock came to the door and he smiled. "Lets ask her shall we?"

"What?" I asked but my attention went to the door as it came open. Vincent came in, leading Namine by bound wrist and followed by Variedy. I stood up and slammed my hands on the table. "What the fuck is this Axel?!" I asked. Namine had a cloth around her mouth and she had clearly been crying. I moved around the table to go to her but found my path blocked by Variedy. I spun around back to Axel who was still seated at the table. "What the fuck is your problem?!" I yelled.

"Lower your voice Roxas." He said as he stood. He waved and Variedy moved to the side. "She isn't hurt, just a little shook up." I quickly went to her but Vincent held out a hand to stop me. I slapped his hand away and he back handed me across the face. Everyone in the room seemed to freeze.

I slowly turned my head back around to look at him and something inside me snapped. My leg shot out and my foot connected with his stomach, he hadn't been expected it so he collapsed to one knee as his breath whooshed out of him. I balled my hand into a fist and it collided with his jaw, snapping his head back. He stayed turned away from me as I panted and tried to control the anger coursing through my veins.

"Do not EVER touch me again." I snarled and then I jerked Namine away from him. I untied her hands and the cloth around her mouth. As soon as it was off she started babbling.

"I'm so sorry Rox! I tried to get on the plane but they were waiting for me! I didn't know what to do!" She said, in damn near hysterics. I set her in the chair I had been in previously.

"Shhh, It's not your fault Nam." I said and I turned to Axel. Vincent had regained his feet and was standing next to his boss. I was happy to see he would have a nasty bruise on his pretty face. The red head was watching me with calm eyes. I took a step toward him but Variedy appeared in my peripheral vision.

"Don't." was all the man said and I stopped right where I was. Vincent was one thing, but I was terrified of this man.

"Start talking Axel. Because I am seconds away from walking out of here and never coming back." I snarled. He shrugged.

"I simply wanted to talk to her." he said. I stared at him, my mouth opened.

"There is something called a phone Axel! You could have just asked me and I would have let you talk to her!" I said, throwing my hands in the air. "But no! Your option is kidnapping?"

"Possibly not the best decision I've made today but I was angry when I found out she was here." he said and I shut my mouth. He was being honest with me? Maybe even apologetic?

"What do you want to talk to me about?" Came Namines voice. I turned around to find her standing, her face was clear of tears and she looked determined. I went to her and grabbed her hand.

"You don't have to do this Nam. He's an ass, we'll go." I said but she just pushed me out of the way and stepped past me.

"Want to know how many times we slept together? Want to know if he screamed your name instead of mine?" She asked as she took a few steps toward him.

"Namine..." I said but she ignored me, her eyes locked on Axels.

"Want to know how I found him a broken, heartless mess in a pub in the middle of London? Want to hear how I had to clean up the god damn mess YOU made of him? How I tried and tried to bring life back to him and just when I thought I might have been making some progress, you come sweeping back into his life and snatch him up?" She was damn near yelling and was only a few steps from him. Vincent made a move to block her path but Axel waved him down, his eyes still locked on Namine's. "Or maybe you want to know how I came to the states today and found the same, miserable, broken mess that I had found in a London pub all those years ago." She was so close to him now, he could have reached out and grabbed her. I moved toward them quickly ready to intervene if I had too. Axel still didn't say anything, he just stared down at her.

Something in his eyes had her laughing bitterly.

"You don't deserve him." She said "You feel guilty about it but not enough to change the things that you could."

"There is nothing I can do about this situations." he said.

"Oh please. That's such bullshit!" She hissed. "You have the power to do whatever you damn well please, don't pull that crap on me because I'm not going to buy it." She reached out and poked him in the chest. I grabbed her hand and stepped between them.

"That's enough." I said, gazing at her but she kept her eyes locked with Axels. I couldn't see his face now but I knew it hadn't changed.

"You are selfish, controlling, manipulating, and an all around ass hole." she said and I heard someone in the room move but I didn't dare take my eyes and attention off of Namine and Axel. "And you have the most beautiful thing right at your finger tips." she whispered. "An unwavering, devoted love. I just hope you can appreciate it before someone else comes along and gives him the things that you 'can't'" She spat the word can't like it was vial. I felt my heart squeeze painfully as she turned away finally and pointed to Variedy. "You, take me back to Roxas's Mothers house." she said. Variedy simply nodded.

"Whatever the lady wishes." he said and I got the distinct impression that he was impressed with her. She turned back to me for a moment and touched my cheek.

"I love you Roxas." She said, and made eye contact with Axel, daring him to say other wise. "I know that you don't love me like I love you but I want you to be happy. If he makes you happy then do as we talked about and know that I'm only ever a phone call away." I gave her a soft smile before she turned and left, followed closely by Variedy.

"Boss..?" came Vincent's voice.

"Let her go." Axel said. I turned to face him and found his face carefully blank. "Vincent, if you could excuse us." he said. I glanced over to Vincent just in time to see him hesitate, glancing from me to Axel, then he turned and left, closing the door behind him.

I took a step back, giving Axel a little space, and waited. I didn't know what would happen next but I knew it was coming. But what happened was not something I had been expecting.

Axel's face melted and for a moment I was able to see several emotions flash across his face before I was suddenly crushed against his chest. His arms held me tightly as his face was buried in my shoulder. I felt his body start to shake and he held me tighter. I gently wrapped my arms around his neck, a little confused and hugely shocked.

"I don't want her here ever again." he said and I felt my heart squeeze. His voice sounded so broken that I would have given him anything he wanted.

"Okay Axel." I said, still in shock mode. He pulled away and I came face to face with a very distraught Axel.

"Tell me that you love me." he said, his eyes searching my face.

"I love you." I said, my voice still confused. He shook me a little.

"Mean it!" He yelled. I reached up and grabbed his face with both of my hands and held it still.

"I love you Axel." I said, my voice final. "I have always loved you, I will always love you." He pulled me back into the bone crushing hug.

"I have never doubted myself." he whispered. "But looking into her eyes and seeing how much she loved you, suddenly I doubted everything." I hugged him back, feeling dazed, confused and hugely grateful to Namine. "I love you Roxas. I have always loved you, I will always love you." he whispered.

I felt the tears streaming down my face as I allowed myself to hold and be held. Things would get better now.

Maybe if I said it 10 times fast it would come true this time...

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