Chapter Forty – Confiding pt III
Alexa stared speechlessly at Keith as he conflicted with his despair and his budding infuriation, pacing around a small area of the carpet and running one hand through his vibrant and freshly washed crimson hair.
"...y-you...you have NO idea how lucky you are to have the family that you have!" Alexa tried her very hardest to understand why Keith was fixated on her making peace with her family, but, alas, the reason she sought failed to reach her understanding, which worried her further.
"...Keith, I-"
"And to risk losing all of that because you're scared!?" Keith bellowed in frustration. Alexa winced at his blooming rage. "That's what's pissing me off right now! You've been blessed with this wonderful family, yet you've put that at risk!" Alexa looked up at him in shock.
"B-But you told me to-"
"I told you that you should tell them, Alexa; I DIDN'T TELL YOU TO JUMP SHIP IN THE MIDDLE OF IT ALL!" Alexa withdrew as Keith raised his voice at her, feeling a familiar sense of fear returning to her; she held her arms as she tried not to succumb to the sensation. "...I bet it feels nice..."
"Huh?" Alexa glanced at him in confusion and, to her surprise, found that he looked envious.
"To be the apple of your Dad's eye...your Mom's little angel...the influential older sibling...bet that feels nice," he grumbled as he looked slightly away from her. Alexa lowered her head shamefully.
"...if the apple's tainted..." Keith faced Alexa with perplexity. "...the angel's fallen...and the influence is bad...then, yeah...I'm all of those things... ...and...my Dad hates apples..." Keith felt hurt, hearing Alexa turning his hidden compliments into something much more morbid than they ought to have been, but having heard how negatively she thought of Hayden hurt him even more.
"...but...you have something special with him, Alexa...!"
"Keith-"
"I've seen the way the two of you interact...why would you let that fall into ruin...?!" he asked tearfully. Alexa felt even more lost than before.
"...y-you're scared of my Dad...but...what we had makes you jealous...?!" Keith felt mildly offended by Alexa's use of the past tense, which implied that the bond Alexa had with Hayden had ceased to be. "I-I don't understand..."
"Of course you don't, Alexa! Y-Your Dad actually BOTHERS to give you the time of day!" Alexa was startled by Keith's sudden outcry, but she began to feel guilty about her own outburst again; she held onto her arms for comfort, though doing so proved fruitless. "Why can't you see that he loves you?!" Alexa clenched both of her arms so tightly she felt her nails almost scratching her skin.
"B-Because I'm scared he hates me!" she cried. Her answer only served to infuriate and enrage Keith further.
"It's not YOU he hates! It's what you DID that he hates!" Silence quickly dawned on the room as both teens fought against their tears, seeking comfort from themselves rather than each other like they used to do.
"...a-and how long I took...t-to tell him..." Alexa finally whispered in a pathetic and feeble little voice. Despite how quiet she was, Keith had heard her loud and clear.
"...a-and what I did to you..." he added in a voice just as mousy. Alexa dared to look up at him in confusion, but Keith hid his eyes from her under the shadows of his fringe. "D-Did you hear what he was yelling at me..?"
"N-No..." Though Alexa wasn't sure if she actually wanted to know.
"...h-he thought I destroyed you..." Alexa showed no reaction to Keith's reply; having seen his explosive anger point blank, she felt he might as well have demolished her entirely. "...t-thank Arceus your Mom stepped in..." Alexa looked up at Keith in confusion; she picked up a sense of longing from him when he brought her mother into the topic of conversation. She simply stared at him, not knowing what she could say, if anything, to lift his spirits, though such a feat would have been difficult while her own spirits were starting to plummet all over again.
"...I-I..."
"...I miss that... ...having a Mom around..." Now Alexa had a vague idea for why she felt Keith's yearning.
"...w-where is she...?" Alexa asked delicately. "...d-do you know...?" She felt horrid when Keith tilting his head even lower than it was.
"...I should..." Alexa was about to protest against him finishing his sentence. "S-She...she died when I was seven..." Alexa felt deeply heartbroken for him, but, at the same time, a hint of understanding started to eat away at her; she began to see why Keith was fixated on her reconnecting with her family.
"I-I-I...I-I'm so sorry...!" Keith showed no reaction to her heart-felt sympathy. "...a-and your Dad...?" Keith scoffed.
"What Dad...?" he asked tearfully. The horror Alexa felt seemed stronger than before.
"Y-You're an orphan...?!"
"...felt like it sometimes..." Alexa was lost. "L-Like I said...your Dad bothers to acknowledge you; mine...mine didn't..."
"What...?!" The very thought of a parent being completely negligent with their own child was unheard of for Alexa, having a father who put his family above his own enterprise. "...h-how...?!"
"H-He worked long hours...a-as an electrician...but...e-even with my Mom around, he... ...l-looking back on it, I-I'm surprised he knew I was even born..."
"B-But...I don't understand..."
"Long hours...I...I was in bed when he came home, so...yeah..." Alexa stared sadly at Keith as he fought against his tears, which threatened to slip through his tightly closed eyelids as he regaled her of his estranged family background. "...h-he gained custody after my Mom died...but...we-we only grew further apart..." Alexa held a hand close to her lips in disbelief and devastation.
"...Keith-"
"I-I don't want that for you...!" Keith said sorrowfully, his voice starting to crack. Alexa would have felt mortified if she wasn't already experiencing half a dozen other conflicting emotions. "...I-I've...I've seen how close you and your family are..." Alexa dared to take a single step closer to him. "...yeah, it-it's no lie that I wish I had that with my family, but...I...I can't; it-it's too late for me..." Alexa choked back her sobs. "...y-you still have a chance..."
"Huh...?!"
"...talk to your Dad...!" Keith said, almost pleadingly. "...b-before what you have is lost forever...!" Now Alexa fully understood Keith's obsession with her salvaging her familial bond, emphatically with Hayden. Though the insight only made her guilt even heavier for her; her tears began to slowly drip down her face.
"...K-Keith...!"
"...I..." Alexa could hardly hear Keith's voice; he was completely lost in his emotional pain. He sat down on the bed and buried his face in his fists...as he began to cry. Without even a speck of hesitation, Alexa hurried over to him, quickly removing her belt bag from her waist and tossing it behind her as she dashed towards the bed. She virtually launched herself onto the bed, kneeling slightly behind him as she gently pulled him towards her, resting his head just above her chest. The very instant she felt Keith wrapping his arms around her and clinging to her clothes, Alexa felt her own sobs returning to her; the overpowering anguish and heartache Keith was expressing made her empathise with him as well as sympathise...and, for once, she was experiencing exactly how Keith felt in all the times he coddled her in her times of emotional vulnerability. She ever so slightly tightened her grip on him as she rested her cheek on his head and cradled him while he wept.
"...I-I'll do it...! ...I-I'll talk to my Dad...!" From the comfort of her bosom, Keith glanced up at her with watery eyes. "...I...I-I know how much my family means to you...a-and I... ...I-I don't want to lose it either...!" Keith closed his eyes as he cried into her chest.
"...Alexa-"
"Shhhhhh..." Alexa slowly and lovingly stroked the top of his head; his hair felt as soft as velvet as it ran through her fingers, while her soft touch seemed to settle his sorrow with each stroke. "...it-it's all right...I'm here..." With her soothing, albeit somewhat shaky, voice added to her soft strokes, Keith's sobbing was ultimately extinguished; even then, he continued to feel Alexa's fingers gently sliding across the top of his head. During the calming silence, Keith could hear Alexa's heartbeat; it was slow, but steady. He began to wonder if this was how Alexa felt whenever she was the one nestled in his embraces; warm and cosy, yet secure in the arms of a supportive lover. For the very first time, he had an idea of what his cuddles felt like...and understood why they never failed to put a smile back on Alexa's face. His grip on Alexa softened as he slowly lifted himself from her chest and, for the first time since he invited her into the room, established eye contact with her; both of their eyes were sore from their tears.
"...thank you..." Keith said softly, in a low and gentle whisper.
"...for what?" Alexa asked, matching his tone of voice. Keith gently raised a hand and began to pull some of her golden hair away from her face to get a much better view of her face; he smiled lovingly as he felt her smooth complexion against his fingertips.
"...being here..." Alexa raised her own hand to delicately wipe away what tears Keith had left from his eyes as she additionally matched his smile.
"...w-why wouldn't I be...?" she asked quietly.
All of a sudden, their smiles faded as they stared into each other's eyes, their hands halted and almost hovering over their cheeks. Keith, however, was the first to move; his hand gently rested on her slightly damp cheek. At the same time, Alexa's arm went limp; her hand slipped away from his cheek. They felt their hearts beginning to race as they gradually drew closer to one another, their eyes closing lightly as their lips were reunited once more. As soon as they made that first kiss, Keith found himself unable to remove himself, nor was Alexa able to push him away from her; rather, they embraced the warm and tender atmosphere around them as, steadily, their passion grew stronger. Alexa wrapped her arms around Keith as she fell backwards onto the bed, while Keith loomed over her, using one hand to stroke his lover's silky smooth hair.
The darkness of the night had almost completely dominated the Unovan sky by the time Hayden and Lily made their way near the centre of the Village Bridge and leaned against the wooden railing. Lily looked up at the glittering stars that were beginning to shine in the sky above, while Hayden looked down at the stars' reflection in the river below...sadly.
"I'm...I'm sorry I ruined the evening..."
"It's not ruined, Tiger...it's just on pause, that's all," Lily said comfortingly. She tried to admire the twinkling lights above her, but the feelings she felt in the restaurant tormented her. "I'm...I'm sorry I-" Her attention was suddenly drawn to Hayden when she heard something from him she hadn't heard in years; his sobs. Hayden held a hand over his eyes, but his tears trickled down his face for Lily to see. "Aw, Hayden...!" Lily shuffled slightly closer to him as she placed a hand on his shoulder and used her other hand to carefully draw him closer to her. However, not even a tender kiss on the top of his head could ease his woes.
"...I-I...I thought she trusted me...!"
"...she does-" Hayden sharply pulled himself away from her loving hold and confronted her, much to her disarray.
"So why didn't she tell me a-about ANYTHING she told us...?!" he asked despairingly. Lily worried for her emotional husband.
"She was scared to..."
"B-But-"
"Not of you, Hayden...of what she wa-" Lily halted herself as what she was about to say reminded her of those few moments prior to the crushing truth of Alexa's travels through Sinnoh finally made itself known to her. "...needed to tell us..." Her answer, though momentarily interrupted by a thoughtful silence, crushed Hayden further.
"...I-I... ...n-now she's...she... Oh, Lexie...!" Hayden returned to the bridge railings as he hid his eyes in the heels of his hands as his sobbing steadily returned to him. Needless to say, seeing her husband of all people in such a vulnerable state saddened Lily. "...what have I done to you...?! ...my little Lexie...!" Lily carefully walked over to Hayden and ran her fingers through his well-groomed brunette hair.
"...you were hurt..."
"...t-that didn't mean I had to hurt HER!" Hayden cried as, for a fleeting moment, he pulled his hands away from his eyes. He almost slapped his hands back onto his forehead, his fingers slightly pushed into his fringe.
"...you couldn't help how you felt..." Lily appeared reluctant to resume her sentence. "...yes, you could have handled the pain better than you did-"
"Didn't..." Hayden said abruptly. "...I-I didn't handle it, I-I took it out on Lexie...!"
"...but the revelations were hard to swallow...even for me," Lily said sadly, concluding the sentence Hayden interrupted. Hayden gritted his teeth as he tried, and failed, to hold back his tears.
"...Keith k-knew before we did...!"
"Aw, honey...!" Lily once again took hold of Hayden in her doting embrace. "Sometimes, it's easier to confide in someone outside the family... ...you know that." One of Hayden's arms suddenly dropped onto the railing.
"...so...I-I felt betrayed...for nothing...?" Lily began to stroke Hayden's hair, though it proved ineffective in cheering him up, much to her chagrin.
"I can understand why you'd feel that way...but trust has nothing to do with it; Lexie was just... ...it...it was like Keenan said...she was so scared of what she told us...like it was only a recent event..." Hayden felt himself unable to contain his growing despair.
"...I...I-I should have listened to you...!" Lily looked at him helplessly as he fought a losing battle against his anguish. "...I-I shouldn't have pushed her... ...e-even worse...I-I attacked Keith for nothing...now I'm scared she hates me...!"
"Hayden-"
"She ran away because of ME, Lily!" Hayden cried as he suddenly glared at his startled wife; though his demeanour was of anger, his eyes only showed his turmoil. "I-I felt her hatred when she pointed the finger at me, all because of how I treated her and Keith!"
"You can still fix things, Tiger," Lily said sweetly as she wiped one of his many tears from his eyes. Hayden wanted to believe her, but his guilt prevented him from feeling any sense of hope.
"...you still think that...?" he asked sadly as he looked away from Lily, staring soullessly at the distant reflection of the bridge beneath him.
"I know that you'll give it a damn good try if Alexa's really that important to you," Lily said reassuringly. Hayden quickly looked at Lily with a small glint of frustration in his eyes.
"Of COURSE I want to try!" he yelled. He stared sorrowfully at the river running beneath the bridge again. "...I...I'm just...I'm afraid that I've driven her away for good...!" The pessimism Hayden presented gave Lily cause to fear for him once again.
"Hayden..."
"...w-what I did to her..." Hayden looked up at the sky woefully, hoping to find comfort in the stars themselves as opposed to their reflection, but whatever was in his line of sight made no difference; no matter where he looked, his tears refused to cease. "...looking back on it...I...it makes me feel...putrid..."
"...if that's how you feel..." Hayden gave her a slight nod to properly confirm his lowly feelings regarding his earlier behaviour. "...then Alexa's bound to feel even worse than that...they were her tribulations, after all." Hayden looked across the horizon directly in front of him as the afternoon's events played in his mind; if anything remained constant, it was the look of utter trepidation and overwhelming heartbreak in his daughter's eyes, both of which were partly caused by Hayden himself. Knowing what damage he inflicted on his dear daughter pained his own heart as his remorse consumed him. Lily waited anxiously for any response from Hayden and she felt on edge when he lowered his head in shame.
"...you're right..." He choked back more sobs, but didn't bother to hide his face this time. "...I-I'll do it..." Lily was confused, even as Hayden looked up at the brightest star he could find. "...I'll talk to Alexa..." Lily smiled warmly. "I...I don't want her to think she can't confide in us...I-I want her to know...I don't hate her...I love her...!" Lily wrapped her arms around him, prompting Hayden to fling his around her as he held his beloved wife close to him. Resting one hand on the back of her head, Hayden finally found his sought-after comfort. "...I love her, Lily...! ...I love her...!"
"You don't have to tell me, Tiger...you've loved her even before we found out she was a girl..." Hayden breathed a small chuckle as a smile finally returned to his face.
"To be honest...I was hoping she was a girl..." Hayden loosened his cuddle as he looked into Lily's warm hazel eyes before he lightly touched foreheads with her. "...thank you, Petal..."
"...Tiger..."
Before Hayden and Lily could properly relax in the peace and quiet of the night, a sudden flash of light and a thunderous crash behind them alarmed Hayden and frightened Lily; Hayden barely heard his wife's petrified scream as she flung herself into his arms. Hayden looked over at the other side of the bridge in puzzlement; the weather was picturesque – where did the lightning bolt come from?!
To be continued...