I just want to start out by apologizing for this chapter. I want you all to know that this was a long time coming and it's the reason why I put off writing in this story for so long. I am sorry that you have waited so long but you'll understand once you finish this chapter.
I love all my wonderful readers and reviewers. You guys keep me going. Thank you.
The next morning came way to fast for me. One second I was laying on my bed the next my alarm was blaring. I pulled myself out of bed and made quick of my shower and getting dressed. I was pulling on my shoes when the dread settled back over me.
I really didn't want to go down stairs.
I stepped out into the hall way only to be greeted by angry voices coming from below. I sighed as I went to the stairs and made my way toward the yelling.
"I'm so fucking sorry I rained all over you stupid little training party!" Phystie was yelling in Variedys face just as I walked into the living room. Vincent was off to the side, his arms crossed but ready to intervene if necessary.
"Lower your voice." Variedy said his voice at its absolute quietest. If he had been talking to me like that I would have shut the fuck up and made a run for it but not Phystie
"Fuck you Variedy! You think you can just hide me away for months and not make any attempt to contact me?" he hissed and shoved his finger into Variedy's chest. I automatically took a step back, knowing what would come next, you never touched Variedy in anger (or at all really) unless you wanted to fight. Even with his arm in a sling he could take out the smaller man no problem...probably a whole room of men..
He just sighed and my mouth may have dropped to the ground.
"I realize that the situation wasn't ideal Phystie but I did what I had to do to keep you safe. Now if you could please find something to occupy yourself with, I have things I need to be doing." he said and I was most certainly staring in shook. Phystie simply huffed and stormed out of the room, pushing past me as he went.
"Good morning Roxas." Variedy said as his eyes landed on me. I gulped a bit but stepped forward to stand beside him, facing Vincent.
"Morning." I said and my voice managing to sound normal. "How's your shoulder?" I asked. His eyes were roaming over me, taking in my bandaged arms and hands.
"It is going to be a little bit of a recovery process. You will be sparing with Vincent today and then we will start the gymnastic training." He said as he turned away and stood at the corner of the mat. Vincent moved further onto the mat and I stayed frozen to the spot staring at Variedy. Variedy gave me a raised eyebrow. "Problem?" he asked.
"That's it?" I asked. "Just right back to normal?" His eye brow stayed raised. "After everything that happened yesterday?"
"What would you like me to do about it?" he asked. "Yes I am angry about what Axel did. No I do not blame you. Yes I would like nothing more then the break his neck for breaking our deal but as Vincent has so kindly pointed out, harming Axel would only put both Phystie and myself into more danger then I am willing to risk. So, the conclusion? We continue on as we were. Now get on the damn mat and fight!" the last sentence was said with just a hint of impatience which was enough to light a fire under my ass.
Two hours later found me a sweaty, angry mess. I was laying on my back for the second time that day, trying to catch my breath with Vincent leaning over me.
"You're enjoying this." I hissed to the unemotional man above me. I rolled over and got to my feet. "You're not showing it but I know you are."
"You're still not watching his feet." Came Variedy's voice. I glared over at him.
"Yeah well his fist are a little more worrisome when they're coming for my face." I hissed.
"All parts of your opponent are dangerous, there fore you should be watching every part of him." he said. "But enough of this for now, Vincent is going to help you learn some basic gymnastic moves that can help in a fight. We'll take a 10 minute break and pick up with that." he said as he moved toward his bedroom.
"Yes sir." I said. Vincent started to make his way off the mat as Variedy disappeared into his room but I caught his arm and spun him around. His left hand snatched my right wrist that had been heading for his face. We stayed frozen for a moment, just starring at one another before I launched myself at him, my arms around his neck and my legs wrapped around his waist, his hands went to my ass to support me.
I crushed our lips together, all the pent up adrenaline rushing into the messy kiss. I twisted my hand into his hair as we fought with our tongues. A noise from up stairs had us breaking apart, and me on my feet in seconds, my breathing heavy.
My eyes quickly scanned the up stairs banister but found no one there. A door closed up stairs and my heart sunk to my feet.
Phystie had seen.
I turned back to Vincent but he was no where to be seen. I took a deep breath and sat down on the mat, my head in my hands. This probably wasn't a big deal, Phystie wouldn't tell Axel, he hated Axel. I took another deep breath and looked up as I heard approaching foot steps. I looked up to find Vareidy. He stopped at the edge of the mat and tossed something at me. I caught it and turned it over, it was my phone.
"I figure since we've broken all the other rules you might as well have contact with your family." He said I gave a shaky smile as I fiddled with the phone.
"Phystie saw Vincent and I kissing." I blurted out, my eyes on the edge of the mat instead of his face. I hesitated before looking up to find his face carefully blank.
"You need to keep these things behind closed and locked doors Roxas." I bowed my head, fully reprimanded.
"Sorry." I mumbled.
"Phystie!" Variedy called up to the second story. A door opened and he appeared at the railing.
"What?" He asked, his eye brow raised.
"What ever it is you see in this house stays in this house." Variedy said to which Phystie simply nodded.
"Who the princess screws is none of my business." he said with a smirk at me before he disappeared again.
Some how I didn't feel any more relaxed. Vincent appeared shortly after and I didn't have any chance to give it much thought.
As it would turn out I was incredibly flexible and it came in handy when trying to do a back hand spring.
"Just bend your back and fall back, I'll catch you." Vincent said. He was kneeling on the mat behind me, spotting me as I attempted once again to do a back bend. "Don't let your feet come off the mat, just put your hands over your head and bend your back." he instructed. I followed his directions, I slowly lowered myself back wards, I felt his hands gently on the middle of back as my hands came into contact with the mat. I smiled up at him as he stood and gave me an approving nod.
"Now kick your feet up and bring them over your head." he said and my smile fell away just as I collapsed onto the mat.
"You've got to be kidding me!" I hissed at him as I rubbed at my sore wrist. I looked over to Variedy. "He's kidding right?" I asked.
"No he's not but lets call it a day." he said as he pushed away from the wall and headed for the front of the house. "I'm going to speak with Phystie." I chuckled as he disappeared down the hallway.
"I guess that's my warning to stay away from upstairs unless I want to hear some raunchy noises." I said as I pulled myself to my feet.
"You can use my shower to clean up." Vincent said as he started for his room. I smirked but said nothing as I followed him. I grabbed my phone from the table on my way past. He pushed his door opened and went to the closet and tossed me a towel. "Bathrooms through there." he said pointing to a door to my right.
I pulled my shirt off and let it fall to the floor and threw the towel over my shoulder before I turned and headed for the indicated door. I could feel his eyes on me as I hooked my thumbs into my shorts and boxers and pulled them down. I stepped out of them and kept walking for the bathroom door. I paused in the door way to the bathroom and glanced over my shoulder to find Vincent standing right where I had left him.
"You're welcomed to join me." I said as images of our last shared shower sent shivers down my spine. His eyes racked up my body before they met mine and I could tell he was enjoying the view.
"I think I'll take you up on that." He said as he moved toward me. I left the door opened and went and started the huge stand up shower. I turned around and found myself face to face with a very naked and very horny Vincent. I let out a breathless laugh as he pressed into me, my back against the cold glass wall of the shower. His mouth attacked my neck while his hands roamed over my sides.
"Maybe we should get in the shower." I said with another laugh. He growled against my neck but pulled away just enough to let us stumble our way into the glass enclosure and under the steaming water.
I manage to close the door before he started in on me again, his hands and mouth exploring my body as if he had been with out it for so long. I gasped as his fingers wound their way into my now soaked blond hair and jerked my head back, exposing my neck to his rough lips.
I know that we had been here before, same situation, but this felt so different from that time in my apartment shower. Maybe it was the fact that I was no longer the same person as I had been back then; maybe it was because my motives were different; maybe it was because his motives were different, whatever it was it felt so much more real.
Every touch had a little bit of a desperate edge to it that hadn't been there before. It made me feel slightly crazed as my hands explored his body, trying to touch as much of his as I could. When he pressed me up against the shower wall and sank to his knees in front of me I almost out right sobbed at the sight.
The sight of this man, this strong, silent man, kneeling before me, wanting me, taking me; it had my knees weak and my heart weaker. I had never asked for this. I had never asked to love Vincent in this way but it had been forced upon me none the less. As I watched him slide my erection into his mouth and felt the pleasure rock me to core, I knew, I knew I was in so much trouble.
We took our time in the shower, me first, then him. I took my time, my mouth on his body, I made sure he felt what I knew now. I made sure that with every nip, suck and lick he knew, would always know. No matter what happened to us in the future or what had happened to us in the past, that right then, in this borrowed shower, in this borrowed house on our borrowed time, I loved him.
It was something I could never say to him, never wanted to say to him but something he would know none the less.
After the shower we went our separate ways, me back up to my room and him into his own. I ascended the stairs silently, keeping my ears opened for any noises coming form the up stairs but nothing seemed to be going bump. I quickly got into my room and pulled on clean cloths before going back downs stairs to sit at the dinning room table.
I sat my phone on the table before me and stared at it. I really wanted to call my mom, I hadn't had any contact with her in two months now. She was probably worried sick about me, but that conversation would be rocky at best. I could call Cloud but I doubt he'd be pleased to hear from me. I picked up the phone and scrolled through my contact list and settled on Sora's name. He answer after only a few rings.
"Roxas?" He asked, sound hesitant.
"Hey Sor." I said with a smile. "How are you doing?"
"I'm doing alright I guess." he said and he was very hesitant still. "What's up?" I chuckled a bit and rubbed at my face.
"Nothing really. I got my phone privileges back and just wanted to catch up with the outside world." I said.
"Ah, well the outside world is a bit rocky right now." he said, his voice soft, like he didn't want someone to hear him. "Listen Roxas, now isn't a good time, Axel is really pissed with you and he has all the elite on alert about something but what I'm not sure. I can't talk, Riku just got home."
"Sora?" I asked, confused.
"Gotta go Rox." he said and then the line went dead. What the hell was going on? I stared at my phone till the screen went dark and then decided my mom was the next best bet.
"Oh Roxas." She said as soon as she answered the phone. "its so good to hear from you."
"I know Mom, I'm sorry I haven't been in touch. How are you?" I asked as I stared at my freshly bandaged hand on the table.
"Oh you know us old ladies, we get by. I'm just keeping busy with the house work and things like that. Your brother and Leon come by pretty often still but I miss seeing you here." She said and I could tell there were other things she wanted to say.
"I know and I'm sorry Mom. When I get done with this you'll be the first person I come to see." I said with a smile.
"How are you doing Roxas?" she asked and I could tell by the change of her tone that she was going to say something I wouldn't like. "I heard that the baby is Axel's after all." I felt my throat squeeze close.
"Yeah, yeah it is. But its no longer my problem." I said as I took a deep breath to calm myself. "Axel and I are no longer together." I heard her sigh.
"I can't say I'm sad about that but I just want you to be happy. Are you happy Roxas?" She asked. I paused for a moment.
"I'm on my way to it." I said as I thought about the shower I had just taken and the body I had just taken with it.
"Good." she said before she changed the topic to what our neighbors were doing and how it was all wrong.
After a good hour on the phone with her I finally convinced her (with many promises) to let me go so I could call Cloud. I set the phone on the table and let my head fall into my hands.
How had my life gotten so far our of hand? Not all that long ago I had lived in London with a stable job and a beautiful girl.
"I guess we're on our own for dinner?" Came Physties voice from behind me. I glanced over my shoulder to see him pad barefoot into the kitchen. He was wearing lose, flannel pajama pants and a t-shirt that fell off his shoulders. If I didn't know any better I'd call him cute.
I knew better.
"I thought Variedy was with you? Normally he makes dinner." I said as I turned back to my phone.
"He was with me, he went to his room a bit ago." he said followed by the sound of the fridge door opening.
"Get out of the fridge, I'll have dinner ready in a bit." Variedy said as he entered the dinning room. I rolled my eyes as I scrolled through my contacts to Clouds name.
"Alright." Phystie said and I had to look over my shoulder. Variedy had moved into the kitchen and now had Phystie attached to his arm like he was 12 years old and Variedy was his first boyfriend. "What are you going to make?" he asked and his face was completely void of all the bitter emotions had seen earlier. He was looking at the taller man like he made the world go round. The strangest part? Variedy was letting him, he didn't even look uncomfortable by the other mans clingy-ness!
"I don't know." was Variedy's response. Phystie let go of his arm and jumped up to sit on the coutner, his back to me as he watched Variedy move around the kitchen. The whole scene was just far to weird for me. I stood and headed for the back door.
"Where are you going?" Variedy asked me.
"To make a phone call." I said as I pulled the back door opened. "Don't worry I'll be careful of crazed gun men out for revenge." I shot over my shoulder before I closed the door with a click. I moved further into the back yard till I came to the make shift obstacle course. I climbed to the top of the big wall with the rope and sat at the top. I pulled my phone back out and hit the call button.
"Hello?" came my brothers voice after a few rings.
"Hey Cloud." I said, my voice soft in the night air around me. "How's it going?" There was a slight pause.
"Everything is fine but you shouldn't have called me." he said. There was something off about his voice that had me tense.
"Whats wrong?" I asked.
"Do you really think that none of this would have consequences Roxas?"he asked me and I felt my heart drop.
"What are you talking about?" I asked.
"Sora was right. You've put us all in danger and now..." he cut himself off with a deep breath. "I can't speak with you right now. I'm under strict orders." And then the line went dead. I pulled the phone away from ear and stared at it as if it held all the answer that I needed.
What the hell was going on out there? I pulled up my contact lists and tried Demyx and Zexion but only got their voice mails. I even tried Riku but he had answered and then just hung up on me.
Axel was taking them from me. I thought they had been my friends but once again I was on the outs with Axel and that meant I was on the outs with everyone else as well. I squeezed the phone in my hands as my anger rose up like bile and I fought to not chunk the device across the yard.
"Hey Princess!" Came Phystie's voice from the house. "Dinner is ready!"
"Alright!" I shouted back as I tucked my phone away and started the decent back down the wall.
As it would turn out dinner was just some salad with some microwaved chicken breast. It was good all and all but the atmosphere at the table was thick with unasked questions and unresolved fights.
I excused myself as soon as I finished and slunk off to my room. I closed the door and fell into my bed. My thoughts were going a mile a minuet and were miles away. I needed to find out what was going on, what had Cloud meant by consequences? There were a number of things had done just with in the past two months alone that Axel could be bringing down on my head now but I needed it to be more specific so that I could prepare myself for it.
I started the list of all the things I had done to piss him off and drifted off to sleep somewhere between 'Slept with Vincent without his knowledge' and 'told him to fuck off'.
The next day brought with it more stretching and more falling. Vincent had me doing all sorts of flips, starting with just rolling across the mat to cart wheels. We had just started on the back bend again when Variedy joined us, followed by Phystie.
"Roxas with me." Variedy said as I collapsed onto the mat for the umpteenth time.
"Thank god." I grumbled as I pulled myself up and followed Variedy into the kitchen and the out to the garage where he and Phystie had set up a make shift gun range.
"We're going to work with different types of guns. Teach you how to load, clean and maintain a hand gun and any other type you may every need." Variedy said as he led me over to a table where he had several different types of guns laid out.
Now this, this was exciting. I was completely absorbed in everything that Variedy was saying. After he went over the basic we got to shooting. I knew I had pretty good aim, hell I had killed two people in less the 24 hours so I had some handle on shooting but Variedy showed me how to be better (as usual). After that I just started picking up each gun he had set out for me and opening them up, loading them and then shooting. Variedy left me to it and took a seat with Phystie by the back wall.
I liked the hand guns but the rifles were fun as well. The sawed off shotgun was super fun but impractical all and all. After a while of me just playing with the guns Variedy came back over and tapped my shoulder. I took of the head phones and turned to him.
"This one has the most comfortable grip as far as practicality goes. But the sniper is even more comfortable." I said as I started to break down the browning in my hand.
"You're a natural. If you weren't already in league with a branch of organized crime I'd have them lining up to recruit you." he said as he took the browning form me and had it back together in seconds flat. He handed me the gun and scoped up a holster that was on the table. He handed them both to me. "Keep it close. Learn to live with it, breath it and sleep with it." I simply nodded and took it from him.
"Thank you." I said.
"Go get cleaned up. Dinner in an hour." he said and I just nodded and went into the house. I held the gun at my side, the holster over my shoulder as I moved through the kitchen. I paused in the living room where Vincent was sparing with Phystie. I watched for a minute as he Vincent swept Physties feet out form under him in one fluid movement, knocking the smaller man on his ass.
"Damn it!" Phystie swore before he was on his feet again. I chuckled, shaking my head as headed for the stairs. I paused for a moment at the foot of the stairs and just listened to the sound of Vincent's voice coming down the hall way. I couldn't understand what was being said but his voice was in instructor mode and it was soothing to me in ways it hadn't been before. I sighed and rubbed at my head before I started up the stairs.
I closed my door and collapsed onto my bed. I hadn't heard from Axel in awhile and I didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing. Thinking about him always made my head hurt and my chest ache. I missed him, like crazy but I was serious when I told him I wasn't going to keep being his side fling with out some end in sight. Besides that, he was about to be a father.
I shook myself off and stood. I was digging for clean cloths when I heard my phone beep from the bed side table where I had left it the night before. I picked it up and saw I had a text from Axel.
My heart was immediately pounding in my chest. I hesitated over the open button for a second before pressing down. The first image that filled my screen had me seeing red. I kept scrolling and the second picture had my phone falling from my hand to clatter to the ground.
I was out of the room in seconds, running. Running faster then I had ever run in my life but I knew I wasn't fast enough.
I try to call out his name as I rocketed down the stairs but nothing would come out. I grabbed the banister as I turned, keeping myself standing as I slammed into the wall of the hallway. I looked up and could see him standing on the mat still, Phystie next to him. I yelled his name and they both turned to me looking confused. I threw myself toward him, he took a step toward me, his face contorted into confusion.
I made it to the edge of the mat, grabbed his arm, our eyes met, my mouth opened and then there was a ping. Just a ping, no big bang, no thunderous crash, no shattering glass, just a ping.
Time seemed to stand still, our eyes were locked. One minute his eyes had been filled with confusion, light, emotions, the next- nothing. I watched as all the life drained from his eyes as I felt something splatter across my face from the hole that appeared in the center of his forehead. And then he was falling toward me and I wrapped my arms around him, clutching him to me, one hand on the back of his head the other wrapped in the back of his shirt. I was vaguely aware of someone yelling but I could feel the blood.
He was dead.
Vincent was dead.
I clutched his body to me and didn't even try to stop the sobs that rocked through me.
Hands were prying him away from me but I just held on tighter.
"Roxas! Roxas you have to let him go! We have to get out of here!" Phystie was saying in my ear.
"Vincent!" I sobbed, clutching at him. "Vincent please!" I screamed, my face in his shoulder. "Don't do this! God damn it! I fucking LOVE you!" I sobbed as Variedy pried my arm from him and took the body off of me. Phystie got me to my feet but my knees gave out as I watched Variedy turn Vincent over and check his pulse.
His eyes had never looked so red.
"Vincent." I whispered and Variedy just shook his head. He set the body on the mat and came over to me and Phystie.
"Roxas we have to leave, now. Go with Phystie, get packed." he said but I was beyond listening. My eyes were stuck to the growing puddle under Vincent's head and his very empty, very dead eyes. "Phystie! Get him moving!" I felt Phystie wrap his hand around my wrist and he slowly pulled me toward the stair case.
"Come on princess. We gotta move, we don't know who else is on the damn hit list." he said as he tugged me up the stairs. We went into my room and Phystie pulled out my bag and started throwing cloths into it. I went to the bed, on auto pilot and pulled on the holster that was on the bed and slid the browning home. I pulled on a t-shirt over it and bent down to retrieve my phone that was were I had left it.
The screen lit up as I touched the center button to the picture of me and Vincent in the living room, our lips locked, my legs around his waist. Under it was a single message.
because if I find out who...Heads will roll.
I sank onto my bed and clutched the phone in my hand, my other hand over my face.
"Roxas?" Phystie said from the other side of the room and suddenly I remember who had taken this picture. I looked up at him and something in my face had him backing up, my bag clutched in his hand. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, right now I just needed to get out of here. Stones could be thrown later.
"Lets go." I said as I pushed up from my bed and headed out of the room and back down stairs. I stopped by the front door, there was no way I was going back in that living room. Variedy joined us after a moment.
"Alright, I've got some gas cans in the garage. We're gonna lite this place up and burn it to the ground, give Vincent one hell of a funeral and in the process erase all evidence of us being here." Variedy said and turned to go through to the kitchen but I grabbed his arm. He turned back to me and I handed him the phone.
He gave me a skeptical look but one look at the screen had his face shutting down, tight.
"We'll figure it out after we're in the wind Roxas." he said, handing me the phone back. I just nodded and slid it into my pocket. I took my back from Phystie and slung it over my shoulder before I followed Variedy into the kitchen and then into the garage. We all took two gas cans and went back into the house and started to douse everything.
It took us longer then I had thought it would. I avoided the living room like the plague but found myself in Vincent's room. I set down my gas cans and set on the bed for a moment and just let it all soak in a little more.
He was dead.
Axel had him killed.
I stood from the bed and pulled open the closet and grabbed a few of the articles of clothing that were hanging there and stuffed them in my already full back. Then I grabbed the gas cans and covered every inch of the room and cried silent tears the entire time. I met the other two back in the living room.
Vincent was laying right where we had left him, staring at the ceiling. Variedy knelt down next to him and covered his eyes with his free hand and when his hand fell away Vincent's eyes were closed.
"Rest in peace my friend." He said as he set both gas cans next to Vincent. I turned my eyes away to stare at the wall behind us. I felt Variedy take one of the gas cans from me and I watched as he started to trail the gas to the dinning room and out the back door, Phystie right behind him. I turned my attention back to the wall were there was a hole in the plaster.
The bullet.
I picked up a vase that was on the table and smashed it on the ground, I picked up a big piece of the glass and dug the bullet from the wall. I examined it for a moment before I dropped it into my pocket. I stood still for a moment before I turned back around to face the body on the mat.
"I won't tell you to rest in peace." I whispered to the empty room and empty body. "I'll make this right. This is rock bottom and I will claw my way up from here Vincent." Tears blurred my vision. "You told me once that this would make or break me well you were wrong. It did both. You made me and you broke me and by god I loved you." I took a deep breath. "Good bye Vincent." I whispered.
"Roxas, we gotta move!" Came Variedy's voice. I headed for the dinning room and stopped in the door way and looked back, for just a second before I went out the back door. We were standing way back by the obstacle course. Variedy knelt down and flicked his lighter opened and touched it to the grass.
I don't know how long we stood there, watching the house go up in flames but it didn't feel like very long before Variedy spoke.
"We're going to get to down town from here, take a car and get out of the city." Variedy said as he lifted up his bag. "Roxas you're coming with us until you can decided what to do." he said and I nodded.
"Of course I am. I need answers and the best place to get those is from the source." I said, my eyes sliding over to Phystie who was standing very close to Variedy, his arms wrapped around himself.
"I understand." Variedy said. "Stick close. Shoot first and ask questions later." He handed a hand gun to Phystie and I pulled out the browning. "At this point, no one is a friendly." I nodded and we headed toward the back fence. I paused as a crash sounded from the fire behind us.
I turned and watched as the roof gave out over the living room. The house was groaning under the distress of the fire, it was dying.
Vincent was dead in there, lying on that ugly blue mat and part of me was laying right there with him. An important part of me never let go of clutching at that body.
And it was the part of me that loved. The part of me that had still been trying to love.
Suddenly I wasn't there, I was laying on my couch back in my apartment with Vincent on top of me, his red eyes playful as he told me that the person that had been watching us was gone. Then I was in my shower, begging for him, then we were in the car, his small smile telling me he was listening even if he didn't answer me.
Then I was sitting in his room at the manor while he doctored my cuts, then I was watching from a screen as Variedy cut him out of that chair. And with each memory came a wave of emotions that shattered me bit by bit just as the windows on the house each shattered and crumbled away.
Axel had finally done it, he had burnt me up till there was nothing left, just this hollow shell that was now trained and dangerous.
I can tell you, there is nothing like the view from rock bottom.
As I said, I am sorry. I'm still crying.
Review, for my sanity, please, I beg you.