I don't own the Big Bang Theory. But I do own a Bazinga shirt. Yeah, you read that right. I can feel your jealousy.

In the four years they had lived across from each other, they had unconsciously made certain allowances for each other. He never tried to give her strikes for stealing their milk anymore. She never said no when he needed a ride unless she was working. He never knocked on her door before 11am. She took care of him when he was sick. Perhaps the most unusual compromise though, was her apartment. Penny hated to clean. Sheldon loved to clean. So, after an initial dust up the first time he snuck in while she was sleeping, she decided to ignore it. Besides it wasn't like it was an everyday thing. He only did it when he had a particularly bad day at work. Every few months, she would wake up to a clean kitchen and living room, and he would be more relaxed.

Until that night.

He was frustrated. No matter how long he stared at the equations, they did not work. He had spent days working on them, willing them with his mind to unravel. He threw down his Expo marker and stomped to his seat. A glance at his watch showed it was 2:18am. He briefly considered going to bed to try and get a few hours REM sleep, but knew it was improbable at this point. He raked a hand through his hair and sighed. What he needed was a distraction. He sat up straighter. Yes, a distraction. He stood and started gathering what he knew from experience he would need. Gloves, cleaner, rags, etc. Once collected, he slipped across the hall and used the spare key to let himself in. He made his way over to the kitchen and turned on the small light above the stove. It gave off just enough illumination for him to see, but would not disturb Penny. He shuddered at the thought. He did not have enough hands to cover all the vulnerable places she could target if woken up.

He shuffled through the living room picking up clothes and throwing them onto the sofa. Usually she kept a small basket under the window for laundry, but it wasn't there. He looked at her closed bedroom door and wondered if he dared look for it. He looked back at the sofa and twitched. He needed that basket. He took a deep breath and edged the door open slightly. After a moment, when he heard no scream or threat, he pushed it open enough for him to slip through. A quick glance around the room and he spotted it at the foot of her bed. Sheldon tip-toed over and bent to retrieve it. The squeaking of bed springs made him throw himself down on the floor. Silence. He eased up to look across the bed.

His jaw dropped and he felt himself blush. She was utterly and completely naked. Her lower legs were tangled in a blanket. One hand rested on her breast, the other arm thrown over her eyes. Sheldon quickly averted his eyes, and tried to scoot back toward the door. He was halfway there when he heard her moan. His eyes shot up to her. She was still asleep, but now her hand had left her breast and was sliding across her stomach. He tried. He really did. He tried to leave the room, but his body refused to obey.

Penny shifted in her sleep as her hand stilled over her thighs. A soft sigh escaped her lips. One leg eased to the side and her fingers disappeared. He craned his neck, but her knee blocked his view. He turned his gaze to her face. Her lips parted and her back arched slightly. Sheldon slowly stood. He didn't even notice when he moved closer. He watched her nipples harden. Her breathing was heavier. He dragged his eyes down her body. Her fingers teased at a neatly trimmed patch of hair. His blush deepened and he turned to leave.

"Whack-a-doodle."

Sheldon froze. Slowly he turned back, expecting to see her emerald eyes flash with accusation. She was still asleep. He frowned. But if she was not awake then why did she whisper that ridiculous nickname she had for him. Unless…..

Sheldon felt his cock jump. She was dreaming of him! It was him she dreamed of as she touched herself. Sheldon felt his pulse speed up. He had always found Penny to be aesthetically pleasing. And if he was honest, she had played a frequent role during his weekly masturbatory fantasies. He felt himself lengthen and harden with each moan. He watched her fingers slip further down between her labia. The light from her bathroom illuminated the wetness in her fingers. He wondered what she tasted like.

"Oh, yes," she whispered. She slid her legs further apart and pushed two fingers inside herself. He eased a hand into his waistband and stroked his cock. He matched her rhythm unconsciously. She was panting faintly and her hips gave a small thrust. He leaned one hand against the wall to steady himself as he palmed his erection. He could feel his orgasm building. He thought about walking over and replacing her fingers with his. He wanted to plunge them into her tight cavity and make her moan himself.

His testicles tightened. He heard a raspy mewling sound in her throat. So close, he thought. So very close. He squeezed the head as he stroked, increasing the sensations. Her fingers plunged inside her faster. Her thumb stroked her exposed clit. He felt his heart thump with each moan. His hand stroked his aching erection faster. He licked his dry lips and watched her other hand roam down to her breast. She kneaded it gently and arched her back. He leaned his back against the wall and used his now free hand to palm his testicles. He was fast approaching completion. Her fingers made two more quick plunges and she pressed down hard on her clit.

"Oh god, Sheldon," Penny cried out in her sleep. It sent him over the edge and he exploded into his hand. He leaned his head against the wall and struggled to catch his breath. Seconds passed and he heard her gently sigh one last time. Sheldon ran.

He slipped back into his own apartment and hurried to his room. Sheldon was appalled at what he had done. He had betrayed the trust Penny had in him. He had spied on her during an intimate moment. Not only had he watched her uninvited, but he had used her actions for his own pleasure. How could he ever face her again?

Hours passed before Sheldon finally came to a conclusion. He would never enter her apartment again while she was sleeping. He did not trust himself. He could never tell her what he had done. She would never forgive him. He cared for her too much to risk losing her. Leonard knocked on his door at 7 to see if he was ready for work. Sheldon asked him to tell Gabelhauser he was not feeling well and would be taking the day off. The threat of a sick Sheldon made Leonard scurry out of the apartment quickly. That suited Sheldon. He needed to spend the day getting a handle on his emotions.

At 8:30, he heard the front door open. A few minutes later he heard Penny humming as she opened the fridge. She must need milk for her coffee, he thought. He decided his best option was hiding in his room until she was gone. A gentle tap on his door startled him.

"Sweetie, are you alright?" She sounded concerned. "Leonard sent me a text that you weren't feeling good."

Sheldon took a deep breath, thankful he had locked the door. The last thing he needed was Penny to walk in and see the erection her voice had just given him.

"I am fine, Penny. Just tired. I intend to take a nap. Please leave."

She was quiet for a moment. He strained his vulcan ears to listen for her footsteps. He stood and walked closer to the door. Her soft giggle startled him.

"Okay, Sheldon. I'll let you get some sleep. I'm still a bit tired myself. I think I'll go back to bed, too."

He leaned his forehead against the wall and groaned. His eidetic memory pushed the images from last night back at him.

He almost jumped out of his skin when she spoke once more.

"If you have trouble getting to sleep, maybe you can come over again. Only this time, you should really do more than just watch."

His eyes widened at the implications in her words. The sound of the front door opening and closing made him scramble to unlock his. He rushed across the apartment and into the hall. Penny's door was standing open. He stepped inside and closed it. He fumbled with the lock in his nervousness. Slowly he stepped into her bedroom. Penny was seated on the edge of her bed. Her nude body gleamed in the sunlight. She smirked up at him as he drew closer. His eyes asked what his mouth could not. She reached out and snagged his waistband. She pulled him closer and slipped her hand inside. Her voice was husky when she laughed softly.

"This time, let's switch. You touch me, and I'll touch you." Sheldon grinned at her proposal and leaned down to press his lips to hers. It sounded like a fine compromise to him.