Chapter 14: Clint's Farmhouse

"You didn't do this? You honestly expect me to believe that?" Bucky shouted as he pulled dozens of tiny magnets off his metal arm.

Tony couldn't stop laughing long enough to muster up his own defense. He just held his hands in surrender. In an endless, winding loop someone had used tiny strips of word-magnets to spell out a very naughty joke indeed. Banner just shook his head, content to stay out of the line of fire, "I warned you against napping near this guy, it's your own fault."

Bucky looked around, glaring into every corner of the room looking for evidence. Tony was the obvious choice for a culprit, too obvious maybe? It would have taken a very long time to put the words in order, then constantly lift his arm and turn it to attach the phrases. Maybe Tony was the wrong one. Steve? No, Steve's sense of humor was still frozen in the Arctic. Thor? Thor knew dirty jokes, that was for sure, but this sounded like one from this era, not the 1400s, so probably not. Natasha, Clint, or Sam seemed like the most obvious choices. It had to be one of the assassins- they could move carefully and quietly enough to keep from waking him. Clint liked dirty jokes, but Natasha had more finesse. "Dammit, which one of you did this?"

"Which one of who did what?" Steve came in from the front porch, soaked. He saw the magnets on Bucky's arm and looked to Tony, confused.

"Don't worry, I had JARVIS do a full scan of it, I'll print the joke off for you later."

"What are you, three?" There was no venom in Steve's voice when he spoke to Tony- for once.

"I didn't do it!" Tony laughed again and tried to force his face into a more serious expression (with limited success), "Scout's honor!"

Natasha was drying her hands on a towel when she came into the living room, "Any luck finding her?"

Steve shook his head, "Couldn't get far though, most of the farm is mud right now. I went out far enough to see the buildings are still dark. Wherever Inessa is hiding, she doesn't want to be found."

"I'm sorry," Mallory came out from the study, "I really thought she'd come around by now."

"WHICH ONE OF YOU FUCKERS TURNED OFF THE HOT WATER IN THE MIDDLE OF MY SHOWER?" Clint's roar drifted down the stairs.

Everyone looked to Natasha. "What?" she shrugged, "How was I supposed to know that if you turn on the kitchen sink, the dishwasher, and flush the downstairs toilet at the same time it screws with the upstairs shower?"

"Did you do this then?" Bucky demanded. He was halfway up his forearm, and the joke continued all the way to the edge of his shoulder plate. It would take forever to peel off the magnets one by one.

Natasha frowned, "I'd use stickers. You're dealing with an amateur."

"We shouldn't be screwing around, we should be finding Inessa," Bucky grumbled, "especially in this weather."

"If there's anything Nadi was always good at, it's finding a way to get by. She's somewhere safe and dry and warm. I just hope she gets back here soon, our Director needs me back at HQ. I leave tomorrow evening and I want to see her before I leave."

Steve walked over and hit Tony on the shoulder, "You said we could track her with the implant, what's the deal?"

"The deal is," his glance to Mallory was so subtle even Natasha didn't catch it, "I agree with the decision to let her find her way back. She knows where we are. Just keep the windows open when you cook dinner- if the wind isn't blowing in rain. She'll smell food and come home. She can't hold out forever."

Banner disagreed on this point, "What if she's injured or the toxin is building up again? She was closer to getting a refill than she was to when you installed it."

"JARVIS?"

"Toxin levels are reading as minute. Miss Inessa has another three days before levels become dangerous."

"I'm not fighting this battle again," Steve threw up his hands and went upstairs to find fresh clothes. Mallory glanced up as Clint came down.

"I'm going to write another letter to Nadi, in case she doesn't get back in time."

Natasha raised an eyebrow, "You write a lot of letters."

"I haven't even known my best friend was alive for seven years. We've got catching up to do." Mallory jogged up the steps before Natasha could pry any further. Tony knew, but only because she needed him to keep JARVIS from reporting Nadya's location. Her excuse to spend so much time in Inessa's room was thin, but it worked. Natasha wasn't on the pre-approved list, so she had to be kept out of it.

Inessa's Room

Mallory flipped on the lights and closed the door behind her. She locked it, picked up a pillow from the bed, and set it carefully at the bottom of the door to block any curious eyes peeping under it (not that any of the Avengers were likely to try that). Just in case Natasha came snooping, Mallory sat down with her back against the door. She could explain away the pillow (a back cushion) and the locked door (to keep anyone from opening it into her). She cleared her throat twice, and Nadya came out of the bathroom.

When Steve pronounced the "grounding" and they stripped her of her powers, Nadya had been determined to hide and never come back- the first night of torrential, icy rain had brought her back. As far as the others knew, she was still in the wind, but Mallory helped keep her hidden upstairs. At least for now- until she was ready to face the rest of the group. Nadya was of the same mind as Mallory- they hadn't seen one another in so long, she was willing to forgive Mallory's compliance with the Avengers plan if only to have time to spend with her friend. Mallory pulled from her pocket a new Stark invention- lovingly dubbed the "Cone of silence". When she activated it, it sealed her and Inessa in a bubble, cut off from everyone else- they could hear the Avengers in the hall (if they made enough noise), but Natasha could have an ear against the door itself and not hear them.

"They're worried about you, you know." Inessa just shrugged and looked away. Around Mallory, her improvement was massive, most conversations were now done fully-spoken and with eye contact. "Nadi-"

"Inessa." when she spoke, it was still in a harsh whisper, even without the added temper.

Mallory shook her head, "I can't get in the habit of calling you that, sorry. You're still Little Nadi to me."

"Then Nessie."

"Little Nessie. Fine. Hey- I learned something about you today. Sam said they were trying to get you to practice being in this form again, you keep taking strolls out-of-body. Do you remember when you first learned to do that? What grade were we in? Fourth? It used to give you migraines for days. You hated doing that."

"Like being cross-eyed. Headache still."

"Then there's another reason you should just go with this," Mallory pointed out. "By the end of it you'll stop falling out of your body, and you'll stop getting headaches. Two years isn't so long, really. It just feels like it at your age, youngin."

"I know exactly how long two years is." Inessa's whisper silenced Mallory for a time. She couldn't argue with her there.

"Changing topics- someone used those little cut-out word magnets to write a dirty joke on Bucky's arm. They wrapped them all the way from the fingertips to the shoulder plate. Every bit of metal is covered, just about. They're trying to figure out which one did it. Oh, and Natasha pranked Clint, but you probably heard that shout. I'm willing to bet you're on the edge of a full-on prank war. You used to kick ass at those. That damn poker-face of yours."

Inessa remained quiet and looked at the floor. She rubbed the back of her neck, around where the implant was. Her skin was gouged and gashed around it- the results of her unsuccessful first through fourth attempts to remove it before the shock knocked her out. Mallory leaned to the side to get a look, "Does it need more medicine? You shouldn't mess with it, you'll get an infection."

"Thanks mom."

Mallory laughed, "Did I ever tell you I found out my mom wanted to adopt you?" Inessa glanced up at that, interested, "Yeah! No joke- she had a lawyer advising her and she'd filled out all this paperwork to sue to have you taken away from Dimitri. She wanted to get your permission to go forward. Apparently she was planning on taking you aside at my birthday party the week after you vanished. If we didn't have Hydra to worry about now, I'm sure she'd be more than happy to get that ball rolling again."

"I have to- have to stay here. Here I get revenge. In two years." It was a contender for the longest speech she'd given.

"Then get your ass in gear, girl," Mallory kept her tone light, Inessa still didn't respond well to any kind of tough act. "No one is asking you to piss away two years sitting in here. As soon as you go through that door, Natasha will start training you to spar. You can learn fighting, how to be a super-spy, how to be awesome. They're on the phone with SHIELD constantly- trying to find a good shrink to help clear up your head. Look at how much power you've got now- how many more things can you do than before? When you're stable- when you can focus without jumping at everything- how much more powerful will you be? And you have to train for two years, but if you can prove to them you're willing to work on it and be patient? They might turn off that speaker and let you have your powers back sooner!"

Inessa just shook her head, "And next time? They turn my power off when they want. They lock me here when they want."

"Until you're 18? Yes. But once you hit that age they'll remove the implant entirely. You'll be completely free to do what you want. To use your powers day in and day out, if that's what makes you happy. Sitting around feeling sorry for yourself won't get you there though."

"Let me think. Change topic."

She'd said all she could on the subject, so Mallory gave in to Inessa's legendary stubborn-streak, "Fine. What should we change topic to? Oh, hey, remember Kelsey Schmidt? That little skank who always acted like she was so superior just because her father was a lawyer?" Inessa nodded, "Well guess who got knocked up junior year of high school."

Mallory kept Inessa entertained with idle gossip and caught her up on seven years worth of stories and adventures. She knew her audience wasn't entirely paying attention to what she was saying, but it felt good to act like a schoolgirl again with her best friend.

The Loft

"Wait, I do not understand," Thor frowned, "does she not know the man is the Phantom?"

"No," Banner was the only one who'd read the book, "she thinks the Phantom and the Angel are two different people."

Natasha shook her head, "But they just did a whole song where she was talking about the Phantom being the one who's been stalking her."

"Pedo alert," Clint grabbed a handful of popcorn and started working his way through it.

With the rain showing no sign of stopping, the Avengers were forced to make their semi-nightly fire-pit meeting an indoor movie night. Each Avenger suggested one movie, then they drew from a hat- no one would admit to requesting "The Phantom of the Opera"- but Thor agreed to the choice with the most enthusiasm. Apparently Asgard, while having epic poems sung before large gatherings, had no concept of musical or operatic theater, so he was very keen on the movie.

"What is a 'pedo'? And I still don't understand if she knows he is the Phantom or not." Thor made a mental note to request the novel from Banner later.

"I'm not explaining that one," Natasha put her hand on her nose and the others rapidly followed suit- childish, but effective. The honors went to Tony.

In the movie, the Phantom was chasing after a backstage man. They struggled above the performance, the Phantom slipped the nose around his neck-

Inessa slumped into the empty seat next to Bucky and Clint jumped just as the man's body was thrown from the rafters and the music reached it's climax. He spun around to see who'd sat down but Mallory put a hand on his shoulder and shook her head. With the rain thundering outside, no one had heard the two enter.

"Nessie, for what it's worth, I'm s-"

Mallory cut Steve off with a whisper, "-it's OK. Don't push her." her tone was not unkind.

Natasha was sitting on the floor in front of Clint. She reached over and patted Inessa's knee, but said nothing. Bucky held the bowl of popcorn to her. She ignored it. Steve glanced back at Mallory and mouthed a simple thank you. As she walked around the couch to grab a seat, Sam and Banner both held up a hand for a quiet high-five.

After a few moments Thor broke the silence once again, "Well does she know the Angel and the Phantom are the same person or doesn't she?!"

Four out of eight Avengers threw popcorn at him.

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*This wasn't the prank-war, don't worry!