It must be some kind of record here. Another update for you!
Enjoy~
In between Salem and Rolla we stopped for a short break and I decided it was a good time to call my Mom. I dialed her number at the payphone and listen to the ring.
"Hello?" Came her voice and I almost burst into tears.
"Hey Mom." I said in a soft voice.
"Roxas?" She said, her voice going shaky.
"Yeah, it's me Mom. How are you?" I asked.
"Oh Roxas! I'm fine, how are you? Where are you?" She asked, her voice growing stronger with each question.
"I'm fine Mom. I'm actually calling because I want to invite you to Jefferson City for a little vacation. Vincent and I have rented two rooms we'd like to spend some time with you." I said and there was a pause.
"That's silly for you to pay to stay somewhere when you can just drive a few hours back to St. Louis." She said. I sighed.
"Mom, you know we can't go into St. Louis. Axel has left us alone but we don't want to push it. Come to Jefferson, take a break from that city and enjoy our company." I said as I rubbed at my face.
"Alright Roxas. I'll leave tonight then. I won't tell anyone where I'm going just that I'm getting out of the city." she said and I chuckled a little.
"Alright, I'll call you form the hotel and give you the information once we're there." I said just as I heard the distinct sound of Vincent's crutches coming up behind me.
"Alright Roxas, be careful. I love you." She said and I smiled again.
"Love you too." I said before hanging up. I turned to Vincent who had a plastic bag from the convince store in his hand. I took it from him and inspected it's contents.
"Coke and chips. Looks like lunch to me." I said with a smile. He just stared at me.
"She gonna meet us there?" he asked. I started back to the car with out answering, forcing him to follow.
"Yeah." I said. "She didn't say anything about Cloud. I guess he's doing better." I heard Vincent grunt and I knew there was an invisible eye roll that went with that noise. I said nothing though as I bypassed his side of the car, not opening the door for him and getting in on my side. He slid in shortly after with very few muttered curses. He tossed his crutches into the back and dropped the bag in my lap as he slammed the door.
"He's my brother." I said, my voice soft as I removed the constants of the bag and set them in the center console.
"Yes, I seem to recall that bit of information." he said as he opened the soda and took a swig. "And yet it would seem, that you're the one who needs reminding. If I remember correctly you're the one who shot him." It was said in such a cool tone that I felt as if the words had burned my insides. I glared at him.
"Yes, yes I did. And who's ass was I saving when I was forced to shoot my brother?" I asked/snarled. His cool red eyes met mine and I felt the anger whoosh right out of me.
"Mine." He said, his eyes on mine. "And I don't want you to forget why you had to shoot him. I don't want you to forget that he had a hand in my torture and yours." He handed me the soda and I looked away. "Don't forget that he held you down and shot you full of drugs and then helped dump you in the woods, left for dead." I closed my eyes.
"He's my brother." I said.
"Don't Roxas." he said as he grabbed my arm and forced my eyes back to his calm ones. "Don't start feeling guilty over what you had to do."
"Alright, I get your point." I muttered as I started the car and pulled out of his grip.
"I hope so Roxas. Guilt over it will only get you killed. If you come up against him again be sure to aim to kill this time." he said as I pulled out of the parking lot and started north again. I ignored his comment but knew he was right. "Because he will be."
I felt a piece of my heart break off at the truth of that. It was one thing to know that Axel was after my blood...but my brother.
"A bridge I'll cross when I get to it." I muttered as I turned the radio back up and snagged some chips from the bag.
We arrived at the hotel right on time to check in to our rooms. We made sure my mom's room was ready and paid for before we moved our bags into our room.
"Her room is just across the hall from ours." I said as I followed Vincent down the hall to our room, carrying all our bags. He had to keep his hands free in case he had to go for Cerberus. Or, that was the excuse we had both used so as not to hurt his pride. He stopped in front of our door and slid the card in. He pushed the door till it hit the wall with a thump. I moved into the room and dropped our bags by the king bed.
I set on the bed by the little bed side table where the phone was and watched as Vincent moved around the room. He checked the closet and the bathroom before he came back over and sank into a small arm chair by the little dinning table by the only window.
"Clear?" I asked with a hint of amusement. He shot me a cold look before he let his head drop back and his eyes closed. I picked up the phone and dialed out before dialing my moms number. She answered after only a few rings.
"Hello Dear."She said and I smiled a bit.
"Hey Mom." I said as I relaxed into the bed. I gave her the name of the hotel and our room number. "We've got the key to your room I'll meet you in the lobby."
"Alright dear, I'm about thirty minutes from there still."
"Alright. See you soon then." I said before we said bye and hung up. I looked back to see that Vincent hadn't moved and appeared to be sleeping. I sighed and got up taking both our room key, and my moms with me. I moved silently toward the door. I pulled out the browning I had tucked into a holster at my lower back, made sure it was loaded and put it back before slipping out the door silently. I moved across the hall and slid my mom's key into the lock and preformed the same performance that Vincent had done on our room.
I double checked the closet and even under the bed. Couldn't be to careful. When I was satisfied I left and went out to the lobby. There was a few couches pressed up against the wall across form the check in counter. I seated myself there and glued my eyes to the doors.
Not even twenty minuets later my mom strolled into the lobby, carrying a small overnight bag. I stood, a smile on my face and started over to her. She finally spotted me and her face lit up.
"Oh Roxas!" She said, tears in her eyes as she wrapped her arms around me and squeezed me tightly. I buried my face in her shoulder and breathed in her scent. The scent of home, the scent of safe.
"Mom." I breathed. "I'm so glad you came." She pulled away and framed my face with her hands.
"Of course I came." she said, searching my face. "And we didn't breath a word of were we were going to anyone." I felt my face cloud with confusion.
"We?" I asked and my voice was weak with dread.
"Your brother and I of course." She said with a bright smile as she released me. "Now what is taking him so long?" she asked as she turned toward the door. "There wasn't that many bags to carry."
My heart was pounding and I was frozen as my mind raced. I needed Vincent, why had I allowed him to fall asleep. Fuck, fuck fuck.
"There you are!" My mom said and my eyes met the cool blue of my brothers as he came through the doors carrying two suitcases. He moved toward us and I took an automatic step back, my hand going for the gun at my lower back. He set the bags down by our mom and slowly stood back up, his eyes on me. Mom seemed to sense the tension.
"Now don't be like that Roxas!" She said as she moved to stand between us, her back to Cloud. "He misses you as much as I do, he might work for Axel but he's your brother first and fore most." I almost laughed but the sharp look in Clouds eyes had me swallowing it. "He and Leon were recently injured on the job, Cloud got off with a slight limp but Leon is in physical therapy, it's been hard." she said. I had to fight the bitter smile that was fighting to make itself known.
He hadn't told her.
"Is that so?" I asked, keeping my voice cool. "I'm sorry to hear it. Glad your better." His eyes were murderous. I heard the distinct sound of crutches and I turned to find Vincent moving toward us. He had his face carefully controlled but I could just make out the carefully controlled rage.
"What a coincidence." I said as Vincent joined us. I slid my arm through his and could feel the tension in his arm as he clutched at the crutch. "Vincent was hurt recently as well, on a job." I gave him a soft smile and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. "We're managing." I looked back over to see my mom's eyes filled with sympathy and Clouds blank once again.
"You poor dear." she said as she took his arm from me. "Let's let these two get our bags. Will you show me to our room?" Vincent let his eyes slide to me, I gave a slight nod and he switched on the charm like a pro.
"But of course Mrs. Strife." he said, smooth as silk. They started toward the hall that led to the rooms. I felt my heart rate spike as they got farther and farther away. Cloud and I both kept perfectly still as we watched them walk away. As soon as they were down the hall way I turned, gun out and pointed only to find a gun pointed at me as well. I kept my face calm as I did a quick scan of the lobby only to find it deserted. My eyes went back to his.
"Either shot or put it up." I snarled at him but made no move to put up my own weapon.
"You first little brother." he said, his voice as cool as his eyes. I said nothing. "I should kill you." he whispered and I slid a bullet into the chamber.
"I could say the same of you." I said as we started at each other over the barrels of our guns. I wasn't sure how long we stood there but a noise by the counter had us both sliding our guns out of site.
"You shoot Leon." he said and I could tell he wanted his gun back. I glanced over to see the hotel lady had taken up her post at the counter once again. I bent over and picked up two of the three bags.
"If that's the best you've got then I deserve to kill you ten times over for the shit you've done to me." I said softly as I turned and started toward the hall way. I heard him hesitate for a moment before he followed me.
We came to Mom's door to find it propped opened by the slap lock. I pushed the door opened and went in to find Vincent and her sitting at the small dinning table sipping coffee. As soon as Vincent laid eyes on me he relaxed. Not visibly but a tension around his eyes went out.
"You two all caught up?" Mom asked me as I set the bags down by the bed. I glanced back as Cloud set his bags by the closet.
"As much as can be hoped for." Cloud said as he took a seat on the bed.
"Well, we're thinking dinner in a few hours?" Mom said as she looked at me and patted Vincent's hand. "Give us all time to rest up a bit."
"Sounds good Mom." I said as I went over and kissed her forehead. "Our rooms just across the hall." She smiled up at me and took my hands in hers.
"I'll see you in a few hours then." she said. I pulled away to help Vincent stand, I'd polish his ego later. I was feeling shaky and needed the excuse to touch him. We left the room and got into ours. I closed the door behind us and slammed all the locks home. I whirled around to find Vincent strapping Cerberus on.
"We should have seen this coming." he said as I moved over to my bags and began digging around for my smaller gun that I could strap to my ankle.
"I'm sure he told Leon where he was going." I said as I rolled up my pant leg and strapped the holster on. "If he hadn't yet he has now."
"Even if it's true and he's indisposed because of the bullet he'll send back up." Vincent said as he pulled a duffel bag out form under the bed and dropped it on the bed.
A knock came to the door and we both froze.
"Who is it?" I called.
"Cloud." came the muffled answer. Vincent unzipped the duffel bag as I moved toward the door. My heart was pounding as he pulled out a saw-offed shotgun from the bag and moved to stand on the other side of the door. I unlocked the door and pulled it opened enough so that he could see me and enough that Vincent had a clean shot threw the door.
"Mom is in the shower. We need to talk." he said.
"Okay, but before we start. Vincent is behind this door with a sawed off." I said and just for emphasis he cocked the gun.
"Understood." he said and made no move to get out of the line of fire. Brownie points for him.
"So talk." I hissed.
"What Mom said is true." he said and I could just taste the guilt under his words. "I am your brother. Above everything else, we're blood, and I'm sorry that I've forgotten that lately." This time I didn't bother to hold back the laughter.
"Change tactics Cloud because I'm not buying what you're selling."
"Believe me or not. But it's the truth. I am sorry. But not sorry enough to forgive you for shooting me and Leon." He said as his eyes went cool once again. I let my own eyes go cold and I took a step toward him.
"You have got some balls acting like what I did was uncalled for." I said. "You helped fake Vincent's death, you helped hide him, drug him, brainwash him, torture him! You're damn lucky that the shot wasn't fatal!" I snarled.
"He left me Roxas." He said and I jerked back a little, as if I'd been slapped.
"What?" I asked confused.
"Leon, he broke it off with me. Said he couldn't look at me the same, not after what I did to you." His voice broke for a moment and I could see the sorrow in his eyes. I let it sink in for a moment before I closed my face down again.
"Then he's a better man then I gave him credit for." I said as I turned from him.
"I was doing my job!" he snarled and grabbed my upper arm. "I told you I couldn't protect you from Axel!" he hissed as he spun me around. I heard Vincent move to stand in the door way and I waved him down as I glared at my brother.
"I hope that keeps your warm at night Cloud." I said as I met his eyes once again. "Tell me, if Dad were standing here could you sell that line to him as well?"
"Don't you talk to me about Dad!" he snarled. "You have no right! I was with him in the end, held his hand as he died, as he asked for you! All because you chose your stupid hurt feelings over your family!"
"AND HOW IS THAT ANY DIFFERENT!?" I snarled at him, finally losing my cool. "How is that any different then you choosing your job over me?! How are you any better then me? I thought I was doing what was best for me. Thought I needed to get away from Axel. But you, you're willingly letting him rip our family apart. YOU ARE WILLINGLY HURTING ME AND THE ONES I LOVE." I was screaming now and had shoved him several steps back, forcing him to let go of me.
"And for what?" I asked and I felt the anger drain away. "For a Job?"
"Roxas.." he said and I saw the tears but I just shook my head.
"I'm sorry that Leon left you, but it's your own damn fault. I'm sorry that it took getting shoot and Leon leaving you for you to realize what you were doing." I glanced back at Vincent and felt a little guilty for the pain that he was probably in by standing on his leg this long.
"Do us all a favor Cloud and go back home. I don't want you here anymore then you want to be here." I moved back to Vincent and took the gun from him. "He's not worth it love." I whispered into his ear. I gently pulled him back into the room and closed the door.
He locked it and turned on me quick as lightening. He knocked the gun from my hands and had me against the wall in seconds flat.
"For a guy in a cast you sure do move quick." I said, my breath hitching in my throat as he pressed his forehead to mine.
"Do. Not. Ever. Put yourself between a sawed-off and it's target again." he said, his eyes boring into mine.
"You wouldn't have shoot me." I said as I wrapped my arms around his neck. He pulled away from me so quickly that I stumbled away from the wall. He sank onto the bed and dropped his head into his hands, his fingers burying into his hair. "Vincent?" I asked, and a worm of doubt was sneaking up my throat. He looked up at me and the utterly defeated look on his face had me kneeling at his feet, clutching his hands. "What? What's wrong?" I asked.
"I'm a killer. It's what I do. What I've always done. Just now, when you stepped in front of the gun and blocked my shot, I thought, 'I can take them both out, save us all a lot of trouble.'" he said, his eyes locked with mine. I couldn't help it, I jerked back-standing and reaching for the gun at my lower back. His eyes never left my face though and the lost look stayed there.
"But as soon as the thought passed through my brain I felt sick with myself." he said and he sounded disgusted. "I couldn't do it Roxas. I couldn't kill you." It was my turn to feel confused and a whole hell of a lot hurt.
"I don't understand Vincent." I said because he was looking at me as if this was some big news.
"Roxas!" He said, as he stood and started to pace but quickly remembered his cast. "I'm a killer!" He said as he turned back to me. "I've never looked down the barrel at someone and thought 'I can't kill them.' I've told myself that I shouldn't kill someone. But not that I can't." His face was pleading with me now. He was trying to tell me something but for the life of me I couldn't get past the fact that his brain had suggested killing me.
"You're gonna have to spell this out for me. I'm far too confused." I said but my hands relaxed away from my gun. He groaned and ran his fingers through his hair.
"Forget it Roxas." He said as he grabbed his crutches and headed for the bathroom. I watched him go and then collapsed into one of the chairs.
He had contemplated killing me. Had looked down the barrel at me and seen an opportunity to end it. All of it, and he hadn't taken it, said he couldn't have taken it. It meant something but I was feeling like I was drowning here. This required a phone call. I dug out the cell and hit Variedy's name in my contacts before slipping out of the room.
"Hello Roxas dear" Came Phystie's voice.
"Phystie, I need to talk to Vareidy." I said as I paced down the hallway and toward the emergency exit.
"He's not in and won't be for the rest of the day. What's wrong?"
"Nothing. I mean well not nothing but nothing I can't handle. I mean I think I can handle this but I'm..."
"Roxas you're rambling. Tell papa Phystie what's happened." I pushed the emergency door opened and sucked in a breath of fresh air. The door slammed closed behind me.
"Vincent and I had a fight, I think." I said and I could almost see the eye roll on the other end of the phone.
"So you called Variedy? For what? Hear him tell you what an idiot you are? He's the last person to ask for relationship advice from, trust me."
"I just thought advice from one Psychotic killer about another would be best here." I snapped and had the pleasure of hearing Phystie laugh.
"How bout advice from one psychotic killers lover to anther?"
"Probably better." I said with a chuckle as I ran my hand threw my hair. "My mom brought Cloud with her." I heard Phsyties sharp intake of breath.
"And why wasn't that the first thing out of your mouth. I'd think that was a little more pressing then a spat with your boo Roxas!" His voice was getting edgy.
"I can handle my brother and even if I can't my mother can. He came to mine and Vincent's room and tried to apologize, Vincent was behind the door with a sawed-off, I got in the way for a moment when I was yelling at my brother. When the situation dissolved and we went back into our room Vincent told me that he had thought about killing me. Thought about taking out both me and my brother to just end it all."
"Then you're lucky to be alive."
"He said he couldn't do it. Said that as soon as the thought came to him he felt disgusted with himself." I said and I was pacing again. There was silence on the other end. "I know he was trying to tell me something but I can't think around the fact that he even thought about killing me!"
"Have you never thought about killing him? Even when he was hurt and couldn't fend for himself?"
"What?! No!" I said, my anger rising. "Of course not!"
"And why is that?"
"Because I love him!" I snarled into the phone and then it hit me.
"His mind is logical Roxas. It was a logical thought to have, to end it all by killing you. But logic never beats the heart."
"Jesus, Marry and Joesph." I muttered as my eyes went wide and my thoughts all lined up. "He just told me he loves me." Phystie chuckled and it brought me back to the here and now.
"Take it easy on him, trust me on this one. People who have trained themselves to kill, to be detached and distant have a hell of a time trying to open up too someone. It's going to take time, and it's going to be hard as hell but every small step they take is worth it. Every shred of affection is worth the battles you'll fight."
"Thank you Phystie." I said, my eyes locked with something off in the distance.
"No problem. Good luck." he said and then the line went dead. I let my hand holding the phone drop back to my side.
I had thought that our conversation before we'd left the safe house had been as close to an I love you that I would ever get but I had been wrong. I shook my head and went back into the hotel through the lobby. I gave a small wave to the girl at the desk as I passed. I moved down the hall and my palms were sweaty.
I paused outside our door for a moment before I took a deep breath and opened the door. Vincent was standing with his back to me, his suit case opened on the bed. His bare back shimmered with droplets of water and his long black hair was heavy with it. I let the door close behind me but said nothing, just stood and watched him.
"The shower is available if you'd like to wash up." he said with out looking back at me. I tossed the cell phone onto the chair by the door but made stayed where I was. He glanced back at the phone in the chair and then turned to me, his eye brow raised.
"Who'd you call?" he asked, his red eyes locked on mine.
"Variedy." I said. "He wasn't in."
"Hmm." he said before turning back to his suit case. I was frozen. I didn't know what to say, what to do. How to fix this.
"Vincent..." I started but he cut me off.
"Drop it Roxas. Forget it." he said with out looking back at me. Now my anger was rising again.
"Drop it? You thought about killing me!" I hissed at him and finally moved over to him and grabbed his arm. He turned but kept his calm.
"And yet here you stand. Alive and breathing." he said and his words sliced to my core. "Maybe you should focus more on that then the random thought that popped into my head at a time of high stress." I felt the tears that wanted to spill but I'd be damned if I let them.
"I love you." I snarled and he flinched back from me, jerking out of my grip. Okay, that hurt. I took a deep breath. "I love you." I said again, this time much calmer. His face was completely shut to me but he turned away to stare at the wall. "Why is that so hard for you to say?" He said nothing just continued to stare at the wall. I huffed and stormed to the restroom, slamming the door behind me.
To hell with him! I started the shower and was sure to slam things around a bit, just to show how pissed I was. Childish? Maybe, but fuck off. I took my sweet time in the shower, soaking in the hot water and trying to relax out the tension that was lacing my shoulders and back.
By the time I got out and went back into the room he was gone. His suit case was still on the bed so I knew he hadn't left for good. I moved over to my duffel bag and pulled out a clean set of cloths, blue jeans and a black t-shirt. I strapped on both guns again and pulled my leather jacket to hide the gun at my lower back. I pulled on socks and shoes before leaving the room.
"Well it's about time!" came my mom's voice from down the hall. I gave her a sheepish smile and went to her.
"Hey Mom, sorry." I said as I hugged her again.
"It's alright love. Cloud and Vincent are waiting outside for us." She said and I felt my heart rate spike for a moment before I mentally slapped myself. Vincent is a big damn boy, he can take care of himself.
"Alright, well lets join them then." I said as I let her lace her arm with mine.
"So how are things?" She asked me and I smiled.
"Things are great Mom. Vincent and I are really happy, well for the most part." I let out a breathy laugh. "I'll probably scare him off eventually." I said and it was her turn to laugh.
"Oh honey, Vincent doesn't look the type to scare easily, if at all." she said as we approached the doors to the parking lot.
"No he doesn't but I'm sure I'll find what does." I mumbled as we exited the building and where joined by Cloud and my fearless lover. He was looking fantastic in black jeans and a pin-striped button down rolled up to his elbows.
"I asked the lady working the desk as to what this town has to offer in way of good food." Vincent said as he leaned over and pressed a kiss to my cheek. I tried to hide my confusion but don't think I succeeded. My brother was looking at the both of us suspiciously.
"What did she suggest?" I asked, gently linking my arm with the one that was wrapped around his crutch.
"There's a steak house up the road she said that's pretty delicious." he said but addressed the other two with us now. "If that's alright with you two."
"Sounds great!" Mom said as she hooked her arm with Clouds. "We'll take separate vehicles." she said and before I could protest they were already on the other side of the parking lot. I rolled my eyes but moved away from Vincent as soon as they were in their vehicle. I started toward the SUV but was stopped by his voice.
"You shouldn't have said that too me." He said. I froze and turned slowly back to him, reining in my temper.
"I'm sorry. I thought I was just translating for your twisted way of saying it." I said, temper still in check.
"If that was what I had meant then that is what I would have said." he said and I felt the stab straight through my heart. My breath whooshed out of me and I clutched at my stomach.
"Woah, okay then." I said, my eyes probably a little too wide. "Let's go get some dinner then." I turned from him and kept walking till I got to the SUV. The door was unlocked when I climbed into the drivers seat. I let my forehead rest against the steering wheel as Vincent got into the car. He shut his door and a thick silence fell over us. Too thick, I may be drowning.
He held out the keys for me.
"Let's get this over with." he said and the bitter laughter ripped out of my chest as I took the keys.
"Yes, I'd hate to make you put up this charade for much longer." He showed he did indeed have a brain by keeping his damn mouth closed the rest of the drive to the restaurant.
We got out and joined my mom and Cloud inside. Cloud made eye contact with me and he looked a little too smug about what he saw in my face. My mom turned away to wave down our waiter and I very, unsubtly and maturely flipped him the bird.
Which only made him laugh.
I found myself reaching for my gun only to be stopped by Vincent grabbing my arm and leaning over to whisper in my ear.
"I believe you told me- He's not worth it..." I turned to him, my eyes glaring daggers.
"Still can't say it?!" I asked, my voice a little loud. My mom was eying us now so I reined it in, and smiled. "Sorry, disagreement over vocabulary." I glanced over to Vincent who was now brooding at the table. "So mom! How have you been, what have you been up to?"
Mom started on her usual rant about neighbors and going-on's in our neighborhood and tons of things that I just didn't give a shit about. But I was a loyal son, I smiled and nodded, even laughed a few times. Eventually Vincent and Cloud joined in as well and dinner wasn't a complete disaster.
Who was I kidding?