I won't beg you to stay with me
2020
Over the years, Nana learned to call him when he was, as she called it to his irritation, "between distractions". She shared everything of Aiko with him, starting with demanding he be there when she gave birth.
"As moral support," she'd told her mother. When the blue haired, black eyed baby had been delivered and put into her arms, however, Nana had sighed. "I wish he looked at least a bit more like me. At least attempt to keep the story that he's Shinjiro's..."
But her mother said nothing, and the father's name on the certificate was left blank, so everyone could continue to pretend that the poor deceased was the child's father.
And Joe found himself, not in the role of father, but of babysitter, of guardian, of uncle. Nana took daily photos of her baby, sending them to Joe at all hours of the day. It was almost to the point that some of the men he so-called "dated" thought that he was cheating on his wife.
"She's just a friend who loves her baby," he would say when they came up for air. Then he would turn his phone off, and Nana would yell at him the next day for ignoring her.
Shin left for South America the day after he turned twenty nine and graduated. Letters came weekly about the good he was doing for children in poverty stricken countries. He was learning Spanish and Portuguese quickly, surrounded by people who only spoke those languages. Shuu and Jun arrived almost two months after Shin left, the oldest taking over Shin's old room while Jun stayed with her widower brother and nephew for a while.
"We're going to get a house," Shuu said early one morning as his brother yawned and nodded. Joe tried his best to keep from bringing men over while his brother was staying with him, but he sometimes forgot. The first time he'd stumbled into the apartment with his hand down an attractive blonde's pants had been a shock, sure, for Shuu, but they'd quickly realized their schedules wouldn't match up too often, so the risk of another such embarrassing incident was low.
The night before, Joe had been in bed with a handsome man who had demonstrated exactly why he was so popular with the late night bar crowds, and Joe made a mental note that he needed another box of condoms as Shuu spoke.
"Somewhere out in the country, away from all this city... mess." Joe wanted to tell Shuu he wasn't doing drugs, that he was just having a bit of fun, but just like everyone else, Shuu wouldn't believe him. "We know what we're looking for, so we shouldn't have to stay too long."
"You're my brother," Joe said, finally looking at Shuu. He was tired from his nightly escapades, wondering how Matt had done it in high school, but he knew he was being as safe as he could. "I love you, and you're always welcome to visit."
And then they'd hugged, something Joe couldn't remember ever doing so with his oldest brother.
Within a few weeks, Shuu and Jun were gone. Moved out to the middle of nowhere, just like when they'd traveled Europe together. And before Joe could throw himself back into his life of almost-random, nearly-anonymous sex, Nana took it upon herself to visit every chance she got.
"Grandma's living out in Shimane, now," she said when Aiko was two. He had always been a quiet baby, looking around the world through glasses just like Joe always had. Nana loved taking her old pink hat from when she was a teen and plunking it on his head to keep him warm. "So little Aiko needs to spend more time with his Godfather, isn't that right, sweetie?"
"Don't we need to have a church proclaim me 'Godfather'?" Joe asked, encouraging his son to play with the white seal plushie Nana had bought.
"Whatever," Nana had said, and then she'd laughed. "Hey, Joe, I'm going to be pulling a few overnights at the clinic in a week. D'ya think you can take Aiko then? Keep him safe, and all that?"
He knew what she was asking, and he stuck his tongue out at her. "I'm not going to bring boyfriends home when I'm taking care of Aiko."
"I don't care about boyfriends," Nana laughed as Aiko grabbed Joe's glasses and switched them with his own. "It's all those f-buddies." She looked at Joe and gave him a tiny smile. "I worry about you, you know. You're Aiko's 'uncle'."
"I'm fine," Joe reassured, looking through Aiko's tiny glasses back at the toddler who giggled and crooned. "I drink a little, but I don't get drunk. I don't do drugs, and I don't always sleep with them on the first date. I do have some standards."
"I remember," Nana said, fishing in Aiko's diaper bag to find his snacks. "Just be sure that you do."
And so it was, as Nana got more and more work, that she would drop Aiko off with Joe more and more often. Overnight shifts, double shifts, even some nights where she just went out with her friends to complain about her lack of boyfriends since Shinjiro died; she knew she could trust Joe with his son, though they never quite said it that way.
"Big brother is going to watch you for the night," Nana told Aiko when he was seven. Joe wondered often how much the boy knew, as he'd seen him one day looking through an old photo album where Joe had stashed the original sonogram image. "Now, you have everything you need? Mama's hat and little Sesame Seed?"
Aiko nodded, his mother's faded pink hat on his head and his once-white seal clutched in his arms. He hugged his mother tightly and looked to Joe, the older man his spitting image.
"C'mon, Aiko," Joe said, reaching out and letting the boy take his hand on his own. "I got your room all fixed up for you, just like you like it."
"Here's his bag, Dr. Kido," Nana teased, setting a blue and gray duffel on the couch. Joe had only just graduated and become an M.D. a few weeks ago, and was already on his way to becoming the JFCR's most promising brain surgeon. "It has a change of clothes and his toothbrush. You have a nightlight in his room, right?"
"Of course," Joe told her, with a roll of his eyes. He wasn't one to make a fuss over being called 'doctor' and Nana knew it. "You act like I haven't had Aiko over before."
"Sorry," Nana giggled. She reached up to tuck back her hair, the half-butterfly clip slowly losing its strength to hold her bangs. "I'm in the running for Head Nurse, and I really don't want to blow it. Give Mama kissies."
Aiko giggled as Nana smothered his face and top of his head with kisses, making loud suckery noises at him like she always did. She hugged him tight and straightened her scrubs, finally leaving. Despite her ambition to be head nurse, she hated having to leave Aiko behind.
"So, Aiko," Joe began as he grabbed his child's bag. It would be placed in Shin's old room, the space long since converted to Aiko's bedroom. "How's school been?"
"I'm doing really good," Aiko said with a bright smile. "I'm the tallest kid in second grade."
You'll be the tallest until high school, if you're any more like me, Joe thought, but he didn't say that outloud. Aiko already had a father: a wonderful man named Shinjiro who would have loved his son, had he not been taken so early.
Aiko looked up and asked politely, "How have your boyfriends been?"
Joe almost laughed at the straightforward question. Though he was careful and never brought men home when Aiko was visiting, he didn't hide his preferences around him. And the child, raised in such open environments, never thought to judge. "They're doing just fine. So, what did you want to do today? Watch TV? Read a book?"
Aiko was smart, vastly intelligent, and Joe was careful to cultivate without being overbearing. The last thing he wanted was for his son to fear the sound of a deadbolt on the outside of his room as he was forced to study over and over.
"I want to watch TV," Aiko decided.
"Ah, you're up for some cartoons?"
"No." Aiko sat on the couch, finding the remote. "There's a documentary on sea turtle migration today, and I want to see the second part of it."
That was to say, Aiko didn't hate studying at all. Unlike Joe, who had been forced to be the overachiever, Aiko was willing to do it all on his own.
"All right, then, " Joe laughed, ruffling Aiko's blue hair. "But I want to hear you make a ruckus – I'm not your mother and I won't allow perfection in my house."
Aiko just rolled his eyes at the joke and pulled out a thick book of Shakespearean plays. "If I draw on the walls, will you read an act to me?"
"Use Sharpie and I'll read you a whole play."
"Your child is very odd," Joe told Nana the next morning when she arrived to pick him up. He was still wearing an old pair of slacks he used to sleep in and had just thrown on a wrinkled dress shirt to answer the door.
Nana tried to laugh, but ended up yawning. "What did he do this time? Recite the names of all the different types of sea mammals?"
Joe invited her inside and she sat at the table next to Aiko who was finishing his bowl of corn flakes. The boy had awoken before Joe and fixed his own breakfast, only calling for help when he was too small to reach the cabinet with the sugar.
"Nothing of the sort," Joe said, making himself and his friend coffee. Nana was fussing with Aiko's hat, smiling and hugging him tight as though she'd been gone a week instead of overnight. "He only made me read him about half of Othello. In English. Shakespearean English."
"Really? Othello?" Nana pouted at her son who was smiling proudly into his spoon. "And yet you make me read you A Midsummer Night's Dream. I swear, you love your Uncle Joe more than you love me. Oh, thank the gods, coffee."
Joe grinned as Nana almost burned her tongue on her drink, sneering at it. "How was it last night?"
"Ten car pileup at midnight," Nana said, impatiently blowing on her coffee. "I helped with stitches all night and we even managed to reattach a foot someone lost. We're thinking he'll even get to keep it."
"I'm glad you helped someone's feet," Aiko said, hugging his mother as he stood to run his bowl to the sink. He tried to reach the faucet to wash it, but Joe took it from him.
"You've been enough of a helper lately. Why don't you and your mother go watch TV for a bit, hm?"
"But I made the mess, I need to clean it," Aiko pouted. He hated being told not to help.
"You can't win, Joe. I've tried, but he always manages to out-do-gooder me, the thoughtful little brat. Besides, as much as I would love to laze around until my next shift tomorrow, I need to go home and do some laundry. All my scrubs have had some kind of bodily fluid spewed on them by now."
"I understand. I have to get ready for my own shift in an hour, anyway." Nana stood and he hugged her tight, patting Aiko on the top of his head. "I'll be out until tonight, but there's a spare key under the mat if you two need anything. Remember where I showed you, Aiko?"
The boy nodded. He'd always been told that if anything should happen, he could always take comfort at Joe's apartment, though he was too young to understand what could ever make something like that happen. He took his mother's hand in his, secure in her safety and love, and the pair waved goodbye to Joe.
Joe yawned as he made himself another cup of coffee, drinking it as he wandered to his room to rifle through his closet. His own overnight shift rotations had ended a few days ago, and he still hadn't completely managed to change his internal schedule yet. He finished his sugar-laden caffeine and set the cup on his dresser, quickly switching out of his "lazy clothes" and into something resembling presentable. He was a doctor now, all on his own, he had to keep reminding himself. No more running to residents to double check his every move; he was the one the patients would turn to and he had to at least look like he knew what he was doing.
The coffee was just barely starting to hit as he drove to the JFCR, balancing out the sugar that was making his hands shake. There was an emergency room on the first floor, and he smiled politely as he passed and walked to the elevator. The nurse at the desk just rolled his eyes, ignoring Joe as much as a nurse could ignore a doctor.
Joe felt bad - of course he did - but he had very clearly told Jiro what he was and was not interested in. It wasn't Joe's fault that the overnight nurse was more his type. As the elevator dinged and rose to the third floor, Joe sighed. He would have to lay off dating nurses from the ER until things settled down, it seemed.
"Good morning, doctor," came a familiar voice as the elevator opened to his floor and Joe grinned.
"Dr. Midori! I haven't seen you in a while." Joe hurried down the hall to his old mentor, the man grasping his arms with quivering hands.
"Just 'Midori' is fine now. I retired a few years back." Midori smiled, looking at Joe's white coat with his name embroidered in fresh black thread. "I think our new generation of doctors will be just fine, however."
"You've always been liberal with praise," said Brad, one of Joe's friends, approaching from his office. The man was an American, a fresh transfer who had graduated in Joe's class, but he was just as polite as anyone else.
"Because you two have always deserved it," Midori said with a solemn nod. "Really, I can't think of one doctor here who doesn't deserve such words."
"I can think of a few," Brad grumbled, crossing his arms.
"What happened?" Joe asked. Brad wasn't one to put down his peers, so this was unusual.
"There's this guy down in Pediatrics and he's... Well, let's just say he's not fit to work with kids. A few years back, when I was doing my Pedes rotation, I was following him when he was giving this kid a shot. Just a little baby mind you, probably about two or so. He's talking with the dad, then out of nowhere, he just stabs the hell out of the kid with the needle.
"That dad," Brad sighed and shook his head. "I don't think he usually went to the doctor because he seemed like he wasn't sure if it was normal, but the jerk just told him something about kids being brats before he takes off. Poor baby probably ended up with a scar or two. I turned him into the review board, but the dad didn't complain, and I was just a student back then, so nothing ever happened."
"And just who was that?" Midori asked. If there was one thing he hated, it was doctors acting like they were above everyone else.
Brad looked away, embarrassed. "To be honest, as soon as I could get out of Pediatrics, I ran for it. I completely forgot his name – Toma or something like that."
"I'll have to look into it," Midori mumbled. "I may not have my coat anymore, but I didn't loose any of my pull. I'll check into it, see if he had any other complaints."
"I feel it takes a special kind of personality to work with kids," Joe said and Midori nodded his agreement. "My brothers almost convinced me to go into pediatrics but... I think I can help out a lot more where I am now."
Brad just laughed, slapping Joe on the shoulder. "You're just lucky because you're specialty and don't have to mingle with us 'common' doctors too often."
It was a testament to Nana's years of friendship and care as Joe easily flipped off his friend, the men laughing as the sound of a pager went off.
"Speaking of specialties," Joe said, looking at his waist. "It seems like I'm needed back downstairs."
"Good luck," Brad said. "And don't let Jiro be too much of a bitch – he's already sleeping with Minato."
"I'll keep that in mind," Joe called as he hurried to the elevator.
Joe stretched as he sat his tray down in the lunchroom, despite how early it still was. He'd already dug skull fragments out of two people's brains that day, as well as a slew of basic stitches and checkups, that he was glad to be off his feet for just a few minutes. Even Jiro on the first floor hadn't had the time to be snarky at him.
He was just about to dig into his sandwich when someone coughed politely behind him. Joe turned to look at the tall man standing there. His black hair was swept neatly to one side, a single lock curling around his dark blue eyes, lit up by a small, shy smile.
"I hope you don't mind my intrusion, doctor," he said as politely as he could with a formal bow. "But if you're not expecting company, would you mind at all if I sat here?"
"Of course not, go ahead." Joe smiled, pushing the chair opposite him out with his foot. "It'll be nice to talk to someone for a bit."
The man's eyes warmed instantly, and Joe tried not to melt. He was running out of nurses to date in the ER, so maybe a doctor from another floor...? "I'm Dr. Kido, a brain surgeon specialist."
"I'm Dr. Tomaru Itsuwari, a pediatrician." Suddenly he laughed, a warm rumbling noise that absolutely did not remind Joe of Matt. "Wow, I was just looking for an empty seat, I didn't think I'd end up sitting next to a real doctor. Man, surgeons are so awesome – you get to save people all the time. You're like gods, or something."
"Don't say that," Joe encouraged, blushing, as Tomaru dug into his own lunch, a fruit bowl Joe had been considering before buying his sandwich. "We're not gods at all. And pediatricians are much more important than surgeons, I believe. We just stitch 'em up and send 'em out, but you guys spend all that extra care and attention with the children."
Tomaru smiled. "You're right. I feel it takes a special kind of personality to work with kids."
Joe blinked, taking a moment before he remembered to chew. "It's funny," he said after swallowing. "I was just talking to my friend upstairs and I swear I said something like that."
"Really? I guess we must just think alike then." And then Tomaru reached out, casually placing his fingertips on Joe's knuckle. "This may seem rather forward, but I've noticed you around lately and I was wondering if you would want to go to dinner with me? I know a nice place just down the street from here. Unless, of course, you're working an overnight, in which case... breakfast?"
Joe blushed and tried to move his hand away, but Tomaru grabbed him lightly, firmly. Those blue eyes were sparkling and Tomaru grinned, a dashing, devilish smile that made Joe's insides weak.
"I-It's fine," Joe heard himself breathe, lost in that oh-so-familiar look. This was a man he could date for a while, someone he could get to know. "I actually just switched to days, so dinner would be fine."
"Perfect timing," Tomaru said, no purred, as his own pager went off. He ignored it, more intent on staring into Joe's soul as he stood. "I'll meet you in the lobby, and then I'll give you a ride to the restaurant."
"Actually, I drove today, so I can meet you there if you tell me the address," Joe offered.
Tomaru's eyes flashed in the same terrible way Shou's always did, and Joe almost flinched away like when he was young. But then the look was gone, and Joe wasn't sure if he'd imagined it or not as Tomaru gave him that wonderful smile. "Of course, of course. Why don't you give me your number and I'll text it to you?"
Information was exchanged as Tomaru finally looked at his pager. "Looks like I'm needed upstairs. I'll see you tonight, Joe."
Joe watched Tomaru walk out of the cafeteria, already wondering what the other man would feel like, would taste like, when his cell phone suddenly began to ring. He jumped, wondering if Tomaru was already calling him when he saw Nana's tired grin beaming up at him.
"Nana, hey," he greeted. "Is everything ok?"
"More than all right," Nana squealed. "I finally have a date!"
"What a coincidence, so do I," Joe laughed as Nana made a noise at him.
"Yeah, well, I mean a real date, not just someone to woo-hoo." Joe insisted that his was a real date too, but Nana ignored him like she usually did. "He's super sweet – American, but really quiet and nice. I agreed to come in for a few hours - you know, to save for Aiko's birthday coming up – and he came into the clinic right after I did with a laceration on his right hand. He slipped on a knife while he was cooking or something, and we got to talking while I was stitching him up. I noticed he had this really cool number thirteen tattoo on his left hand and he said it was the name of his old band back when he lived in Texas.
"Then, out of no where, he asks me out, like, to lunch later this afternoon! Ah, Joe, I'm so super stoked! I haven't been on a date since Shinji left our mortal plane." He could hear Nana bouncing where she was, chirping excitedly into her phone. "Can you believe it? Someone wants to date me – a single mother who works twelve hour days!"
"That's wonderful," Joe congratulated. "You did catch his name, right? And Aiko knows about your date?"
"Of course I got his name, I'm not you, you know." Joe wished he'd never told her that story and insisted it was only the one time. "It's, um... Oh jeeze, I was so excited I kinda forgot. But it's just some letters: S.U. or T.W. or something strange like that. And I'm already leaving early today, so I should be home on time even after my date."
"Well, I'm proud for you, then. And you tell S.U. or T.W. that you have friends that will stand up for you if he breaks your heart."
"Oh, please, like you know how to throw a punch." Nana laughed. "But it's still sweet of you to threaten him without even meeting him. I'll call you later and let you know how it went." And then the line went dead as she hung up.
Joe just smiled and shook his head. He hoped Nana was able to find someone that wasn't frightened off by her high status and child – she really deserved someone to treat her well. Just like he was hoping Tomaru would be the one to treat him well. He finished his lunch quickly and decided that, while he had the time, he would go to his office and review his dictations from the past few days.
His office wasn't large, but it wasn't as cramped as some he'd seen. Being a specialty surgeon sure had its perks, he supposed, smiling every time he remembered Brad's jealous looks. He kept it plain and simple: medical journals on the shelf across from him and the desk was only half-filled with assortments of pens and papers. He looked at the files he'd set in front of him, but instead of opening them, he reached into the small side drawer and pulled out a rusted monstrosity.
At one point it had been a bronzed seal, hand crafted out of old clock parts. Now, the seams where it had been welded together were rusting, rivers of green verdigris coating one flipper that had broken away when Joe had thrown it in a fit of teenage rage, mad at the wonderful blonde that had given it to him on Valentine's Day. Joe sat back in his chair, fingers running over the seal as he wondered, just like he did every time he held the treasure, why Matt had gone to all the trouble. It had been his first Valentine's Day with Sora and he'd only gotten her a heart-shaped locket, nothing special, and yet he'd given Joe something he'd created all on his own.
Joe sighed, putting the seal back in it's usual spot in his desk drawer. He was never able to tell what Matt was thinking, especially when it came to Sora. The pair had bundled themselves away from the rest of the Children. For a while, Joe had thought that they had moved to America for Matt to follow his dream of working at NASA, but Izzy, through Kari, had found out that they were still in Odaiba. They just... didn't interact with anyone else anymore.
Joe had just grabbed his first file and flipped it open when he was suddenly plunged into darkness. All the lights in his office shut off, and he heard the popping sound of his desklamp burning out. Just as he was about to curse, to pull out his cell phone and call maintenance, there was a deep hum and, one by one, his lights came back on.
"What just happened?" Joe asked outloud. The clock on his desk was flashing, but not 12:00 like it usually did after a power outage.
"1:13?" Joe looked at his cell phone, the 24-hour clock reading back to him 13:13. "How weird..."
The doctor stood, intending to find out if his assistance would be needed. For the power to flicker in a hospital, something bad was sure to happen. He shut his office door behind him and looked up. The decorative sconce by his door was flickering, the lightbulb inside on the verge of popping like his lamp had.
"Hey, Joe," he heard Brad call from down the hall. "You ok?"
"Yeah, I'm fine," Joe said distractedly. He pulled his attention away from the hall light and looked to his friend. "Is everything all right?"
Brad just blinked. "Of course we're good. Why, what's going on?"
"The power outage," Joe insisted. "We can't just be 'good' after that."
"There was no power outage..." Brad said slowly, quirking an eyebrow. "It's not even raining or anything outside."
"But my office..." Joe looked inside through the window on his door. His lamp was still out and his clock couldn't be seen from the hallway. "I just had my lights flicker."
"Probably just the wiring in there," Brad told him with a shrug. "You should call maintenance to check up on it – there might be a fire hazard in those walls."
"Y-yeah..." Joe shook his head as the light by his door finally evened out to a steady glow. "I'll go do that right away... Actually, while they're in there, I'll do some clinic hours – I need to pass the time before my date tonight."
"Is this one going to be a date-date? Or another one like with Jiro?" Brad laughed as they began to walk to the elevator.
"You and Nana," Joe sighed with a smile. "When will you two believe that I can, in fact, have a relationship?"
"Once you've finished your rounds on the oncology nurses should suffice for me," Brad laughed and Joe glared. "But seriously, I hope you have fun. Who is it with?"
"Ah, his name is Tomaru." Joe looked closely at Brad as he frowned suddenly. "Everything ok?"
It took a moment for Brad to blink back to reality. "Oh, yeah, sure. It's just... that name sounds really familiar..."