Mathias' POV

I laid awake the whole night, thinking about our talk. It didn't help that he had his arms wrapped around my waist. Every time I would shift, he'd let out a groan causing me to still. My mind would not get off the trying subject and it started to feel more real. It's not just the fun time like before, he has a family that comes with him. Don't get me wrong, I had a great family life. A loving mom that encouraged me along with an attentive dad that taught me sports and how to stand my ground. I like children just find, but for some reason I don't think I can see myself being a kind of parental figure.

Finally deciding that I wouldn't be able to get sleep, I carefully got out of bed. Padding to the living room, I grabbed my phone from the charger, and headed out the door. Dialing the first number I could think of, I waited till the line picked up. "What do you want at this time of night?" Lukas' voice whispered.

"You raised Emil for a good amount of time." I stated, thinking of a smooth way to ease in to my question.

"Yes, you know this. If there is not a better reason than to state something you already know, I will have to kill you." His usual monotone voice had an underline of anger to it.

"How was it? Was it really difficult for you to adjust to being a father figure or were you just able to jump in to it?" I asked leaning over the guard railing.

There was a pause on the other side of the line. "Mathias." He let out a deep sigh. "Why are you asking this now? Can't it wait till the morning or when I'm not busy?" I could hear Lukas typing something.

I took a deep breath. "Berwald wanted me to take a trip to Sweden with him and I think become more involved with his kids." I said running a hand through my hair.

The typing stopped and everything went silent. "Did you tell him about your discomfort?" He finally asked.

"Uh….Sort of." I shifted from one foot to the other. "I told him I'd have to meet them first and that might be a little much right now." I waited for Lukas response that, would most likely, make me feel dumb.

Another deep sigh was released. "Idiot. You need to flat out tell him that those sort of situations don't make you comfortable. He needs to take your feelings about this in to consideration and go at a pace you're okay with." His typing continued. "To answer your previous questions though, no it wasn't easy. There were many times I felt like a total failure and Emil hated me." I hummed to let him know I was listening. "When dealing with these type of situations there will always be an adjustment period for everyone. They'll try to push and see what they can get away with and see if you're really going to stay. On the other side, you'll be learning things they like, don't like, and who they are as a person. It'll be rough at first but I'm pretty sure you'll do better with it than you think you can."

I smiled. "Thanks Lukas. That really helped."

"Yeah, well I have to find some way to help you, otherwise you'd keep me up all night." Lukas tried covering up his kindness. No way was he going to let it out that he actually cared.

"Who says I'm not going to keep you up either way?" I asked playfully while raising an eyebrow, even though I knew he couldn't see it. "So what are you working on?" I asked hoping to get something from him.

The typing stopped again. "Mathias." His voice was soft and almost comforting. "Go try and get some sleep. I'll see you in a few days and we'll talk more about your problem." He said before typing once again, leaving no room for argument. "Good-night."

"Night." I breathed out before hanging up. This crisp night air reminded me so much of back home. Taking a deep breath, I let my eyes close and thought back to my younger days. A time when my dad would regularly take me out on his boat or play football with me and when my mom would teach me how to bake. A soft smile graced my face as a breeze ruffled my hair.

"S'nice huh?" A deep voice startled me out of my thoughts.

I whipped around to see Berwald shutting the door. "Yeah it is. What are you doing up?" I asked taking in his devastated appearance. "You looked like you were comfortable."

He shook his head and joined me on the rails. "Woke up to go to the restroom and you were gone." Berwald stated pulling out my cigarettes and taking one out before he handed them to me.

"Sorry, I couldn't sleep." Nodding, he light his stick. "Since when do you smoke?" I laughed, though I was a little shocked since I don't think I've seen him smoke.

Handing me the lighter he took a drag. "I quit my second year of college." He said looking it over. Berwald then looked to me and I could see that he saw my concern. "Tino made me quit. Didn't really want to. So why couldn't you sleep?" He asked as I light my own cigarette.

"Just thinking about some things. I came out to clear my mind before I went back to bed." He gave me a questioning look, but did ask anymore about it. We smoked in a comfortable silence, just enjoying one another's company. Looking over to the Swede, I couldn't help but notice how a peace he looked. His beautiful sea foam eyes were clearer since he must have left his glasses inside, which made me wonder how well he could see without them. "Hey Ber?" I asked and he turned his gaze to me, squinting as if he was trying to get me in to focus. "I need to tell you something." I said, licking my lips that seemed to be way too dry.

"What is it?" He asked calmly.

"I don't think it would be a good idea or me to meet your kids." I stated, not even having enough courage to look him in the eyes anymore.

There was a pregnant pause and I could feel the air tense. "Why not?" He asked sounded a little hurt.

"I just don't think I can be a parental figure. Sure, I'm cool with baby-sitting some of my friend's kids, but they go home and I'm able to be the fun uncle. But it's different when you're having to actually be fully responsible for them around the clock." I thought Berwald would laugh at my concern, but I was surprised when he started nodding his head.

"It is scary at first." He said staring unfocusedly at the parking-lot. "Tino and I thought we'd mess up when we first brought each boy home. It gets easier the longer you do it, but I don't think anyone can be perfect at it." He let out a chuckle. "Plus, I don't think you'll have to be a parent around the clock. Tino will most likely have them a good portion of the time." He stated as he stomped out his cigarette.

When I finally turned towards him, I noticed a faint smile on his lips. "I'm pretty sure they hate me though." I voiced and his face neutralized.

"Can I suggest a deal?" He asked seriously and I nodded in response. "You meet them once and if you three don't like one another, you don't have to get involved with them anymore unless you want to."

I studied his features, trying to see if he was joking. When I didn't see any I slowly nodded as I mauled it over. "Alright." That's what I said, but the more I thought about it the more I tried to look at it from his point of view. "Um, maybe you could invite them to stay next weekend? I could pick up shifts during the week so I can get those days off?" I asked him.

My heart fluttered when I saw his eyes shine. "That sounds good." Berwald said gazing back to the parking lot and we fell in to silence again. "This was really bothering you wasn't it." He said sounding shocked.

Shifting, I let out a deep sigh. "Well, yeah. I'm not used to being put in that role." I couldn't help but reach for another cigarette after throwing my last one over the rail. Before I could put it to my mouth and light it, Berwald took it from between my lips. "Hey! Give it back." I demanded, holding out my hand.

"You'll do fine. You're understanding and have a great personality. They'll love you." He said putting the stick behind his ear and leaning in to give me a light kiss. "You don't need to stress about this.

I'd be lying if I said his words didn't make me feel better. "Fine." I said giving him my own kiss and taking the cigarette to put back in the pack. "I guess you want me to came back to bed so you can get sleep for work tomorrow. Am I right?" I asked teasingly, already knowing the answer.

Berwald just smiled and lightly pulled me by my arm back in to the apartment. It might have been that I was tired, or the Swede was a comfortable temperature, but I think it was mostly that he helped clear my mind. I don't know how he was able to do it though. Throughout my life, I seemed to always feel like I was the one comforting one of my co-workers, a child, I even have been that support for Lukas though he allowed me to lean on him. But with Berwald, he just made me feel safer. Laying back down, we both ended up shuffling around for a few minutes, trying to get comfortable. The blond settled on laying on his back, while I decided to curl up just about on top of him. His chest rocked me as he chuckled causing me to as well.

After we calmed down, we ended up just looking in to each other's eyes. It felt like I could drown at any moment, but I wasn't scared since I knew that Berwald would be there to catch me. "Did you really mean what you said out there?" I found myself asking in a low tone.

"Of course." He muttered, running his ran over my cheek in a soothing manner.

I smiled and leaned in to kiss him before suddenly having the exhaustion hit me and I was able to drift off to the Swede drawing slow circles on my back. No worries of the future bothered me at that time and it could arguably be the most peaceful sleep of my life.

A/N: This one took me a little longer due to work and school, but hopefully I can get a break soon to relax and clear my head. I would like to thank anyone who is reading and especially the people who are reviewing! It helps me try and focus on the story more than letting my mind wonder lol. XP