The Phantom Menace of Carealot

Disclaimer: I do not own: Slayers, Care Bears, Yugioh, Aladdin (Disney version), Beauty and the Beast (Disney version), That's So Raven, Castle in the Sky, Saved by the Bell, Walker, Texas Ranger…yes I said Walker, Texas Ranger! I used to hate Chuck Norris but then I saw the movie "Sidekick" and I was like "OMG he doesn't take himself seriously! I love him!" and then I watched Walker and while he was still his royal kickbuttness (and the show is titled after him) he lets other characters be the hero and quite often I might add! It's more of an ensemble show than a "Chuck Norris" show. I love Trebek by the way! Anyway…no harm intended.

Warning: if you are lactose intolerant, diabetic or have any kind of bad heart condition please stop reading NOW! There is so much cheese and sugar in this chapter (and in future chapters by the way!) that I can't stress it enough people! So be good to your brain and turn back now! Unless you think you're tough enough to handle it…Do you feel lucky? Well, do ya?

HAHAHA!

Well on with the show!

Episode 5: Setting the stage…

Zelgadis woke as the sun was rising. He practically jumped out of bed anxious to get the day started! He dressed quickly in a simple riding outfit that was in his closet. He grabbed the two fruits that True Heart gave him last night ate them quickly (for the jolt of energy he knew they would give him) and hurried out of his room. He needed to talk to Phil. He needed to be the first to tell him about last night. It was very likely - considering how gossipy Amelia's handmaidens could be - that the entire palace would know before breakfast what had transpired on Amelia's balcony.

'All of Saillune will know by breakfast if it's up to those three!' Brau commented amused. Zel and Golem groaned. He wanted to be the first to tell Phil but he realized it would not be possible as he passed a servant and the girl smiled and addressed him as "Milord" when she said her good morning and curtsied more deeply than she usually did! He ran into Phil standing outside his office on his way to an early session of Parliament. He was talking with Gen. Walker and his wife Alex who is a long time prominent member of parliament and was recently elected Prime Minister.

"Welcome back Zelgadis! Been away too long kid!" the general greeted cheerfully patting Zel on the back as he joined the group. His wife greeted Zel warmly with a friendly hug. This was not unusual of Alex Cahill-Walker. She was a very warm and friendly person but she was a very strong political figure. She didn't let titles or ranks get in the way of doing what was right!

The same went with her husband! The minute Zel meet Gen. Walker the man treated him with respect. He felt comfortable talking to Walker. He judged people by how they treated him and his people and since Zel was always serious and courteous in Saillune he won himself Walker's respect. Zel suspected it was largely due to Walker's influence that the palace guard and the army were so respectful of him not just because of his relationship with Amelia and Phil.

"Yes he certainly has! And we've certainly missed him around here!" Phil laughed as he agreed and Zel felt just a little less nervous as Phil patted him on the back too. He didn't mind at all that he could've lost a lung if it weren't for Golem's protection!

"I'm sorry…It couldn't be helped, I would've been back sooner but my mission took longer than I thought it would," Zel supplied with a slightly apologetic tone that only made the general, Alex and Phil smile wider.

"So we've heard!" Alex supplied with a grin. She and the general exchanged a quick amused glance.

"Catch you later kid!" Walker cheerfully called out as he waved goodbye to Zel.

"Your highness I'll wait for you in Parliament Hall," Alex politely excused herself and walked away with her husband.

"Phil I need to talk to you…" Zel began seriously. Phil cut him off with a boisterous laugh.

"Relax Zelgadis! Now is the time for celebrations! Amelia will be queen this year so after her birthday the three of us will sit down and have a serious talk about the future! Until then just relax and have a little fun for a change!" Phil laughed as he patted Zel in the back again and walked away. Zel frowned as Phil disappeared down the hall. This was not the conversation he'd hoped for!

'So basically we're on trial for the next couple of weeks,' Brau observed shrewdly. Zel just did not like the sound of that! He should've expected it however after all Amelia was his precious little girl! It would stand to reason that any man with courting intentions should be put to the test regardless of who he is. It's what any decent self-respecting dad would do. Phil was definitely no exception!

'Well we really have nothing to worry about,' Golem put in still glowing with optimism from last night's events. He was right though unless he did something humongously moronic that hurt Amelia or Saillune or both there was really nothing to worry about. He loved Amelia and he'd been waiting too long for this chance! No way was he going to screw up now!

'That's right Zel! Nothing can stop us now!' Brau cheered. He hurried to his princess' quarters hoping that the others hadn't gotten there yet so he could be first to greet Amelia this morning. As he neared her room he happily looked forward to another "assault" like the one last night!

Raven Baxter – royal dressmaker and fashion consultant to the princess – and her trusty sidekick Chelsea hurried at top speed through the corridors of the palace towards their princess' quarters. They'd heard from Lizzie who'd heard from Miranda who'd heard from Lisa who'd heard from Kelly who'd heard from Tifa who'd heard from Yuffie that Lord Greywords and the princess were finally "together"!

"Oh this is so exciting Chels!" Raven enthused as they hurried down the hall. She would actually get to show off her fashion skills by dolling her highness up like the princess from a fairytale that she was! Something she hadn't been able to do because of all the lurking jerks. No way was she wasting all her artistic skills on those unworthy sightless idiots! Lord Greywords she was sure would appreciate her talents and the princess was such a lovely subject to display her art. Raven is truly passionate about fashion!

Chelsea yawned and asked again why Raven had gotten her up at the crack of dawn. Chelsea had about as much I.Q. as Gourry did with the same goldfish memory syndrome and though Raven was far more patient than Lina sometimes the girl couldn't restrain a heavy groan of exasperation.

"Chelsea focus! We have to make sure the princess looks her absolute best today!" Raven snapped in exasperation.

"But Rai…I don't think he cares about that…" Chelsea replied confused.

"That's not the point! Oh never mind!" Raven finally gave up as she knocked urgently on the princess' door and Jessie Spano – parliament intern and Amelia's political advisor – opened the door. Raven and Chelsea rushed in.

"Good you're here! The maids spotted Lord Greywords on his way to Prince Philionel's office! Hurry!" she informed excitedly as she ushered the two young women in. Raven and Chelsea wasted no time! Lisa Turtle – hair dresser and make-up artist for Amelia – arrived just as Raven set to work on selecting and adjusting Amelia's outfit for this morning.

Amelia was so excited that she was positively glowing and her happiness was contagious! They all oohed and aahed as Amelia showed off the first of her three gifts. Raven made sure to pick the dress to compliment the new magical jewelry. The girls chattered happily as they worked. Even workaholic and serious minded Jessie put aside her political agenda and joined in on the fun! Once Mai, Anzu and Yuffie arrived it was almost a party!

If you were to come upon the scene and didn't know any better they would seem to you as just a group of young women all about the same age waking up from a slumber party and continuing their private festivities. Relating dating anecdotes, trading banter, sharing beauty tips and just laughing and enjoying their youth without a care in the world but though each young women had a "civilian" job that they enjoyed each was also a highly trained warrior whose job was to protect the princess should the need arise. Nothing is ever what it seems…especially in Saillune!

There was a short rap on the door sometime later and Anzu hurried to answer as Jessie closed the doors to Amelia's bedroom. Zelgadis walked into Amelia's sitting room and observed that the door to Amelia's bedroom was closed. There was a large table out in the balcony being set up for breakfast but no food had been laid on it yet. Zel frowned and wondered aloud if he was too early and if he should return later.

"Oh no Lord Greywords! Her highness is expecting you this early! She will be out in a minute!" Anzu reassured him excitedly and invited him out to the balcony to wait for the princess offering him a cup of his favorite tea. He politely refused.

"I won't find any listening devices will I Miss Anzu?" he teased as he walked out onto the balcony and removed his jacket. The girl blushed, shook her head and with a deep curtsy she excused herself to go get Amelia.

'Besides I made a better one!' Anzu thought mischievously as she returned to Amelia's bedroom. As she entered an eager Amelia was barely being restrained by Raven and Chelsea as they made the final adjustments to Amelia's dress. She wore a simple white sun dress with off the shoulder straps and little yellow daisies embroidered on the hem and the heart shaped bust line along with matching sandals. Her hair was pulled away from her face and held back with little pins which were covered by bright yellow daisies that Lisa braided lightly into her hair.

"He's waiting in the balcony!" Anzu announced excitedly "Oh and Raven you'll be happy to know he did dress up this morning in one of the outfits you sent for him!" she added gleefully.

"Which one!" Raven asked excitedly as she clapped with joy and gave Amelia one more quick check. She tightened the ties in the back of Amelia's dress to push up her bust line and make it just a little more revealing despite Amelia's protests that it was too tight. The girls giggled and Amelia blushed as Anzu described the black riding pants with silver crossing belts, white shirt, perfectly polished boots and matching black jacket that he removed as soon as he stepped out into the balcony.

"Definitely a good choice for today," Raven commented with a serious look on her face and an air of professional appreciation. She was the fashion expert after all and she took her job VERY seriously! She was glad she'd picked the white dress for Amelia. They would compliment each other well. She said as much and was rewarded with Amelia's lavish praise and grateful smile as the young princess left her room.

As soon as Amelia was gone Anzu busted out her new listening shell affixed itto the wall in Amelia's room that was nearest the balcony and they all crowded around it to listen…

"Wow!" was all Zel could say at first. He recovered quickly with a mental slap from Brau and Golem and added a 'Good Morning' to it. Amelia just giggled slightly as she replied in kind then wrapped her arms around his neck so she could kiss him. When they came up for air Zel found it a little easier than last night to form coherent thoughts.

"This dress reminds me of that time we were on our way to Solace," he began as he pulled her towards the couch. She wrapped her arms around him and held on tight.

"Yes, two years ago we had so much fun!" she sighed dreamily as she curled up against his chest. It was rapidly becoming her favorite spot!

"We stopped in that field full of yellow flowers and you and Lina made little crowns with them," he continued with a far away look. She looked up and listened intently.

"You were so happy…when you smiled at me your face lit up so brightly that I felt my heart stopped for just a moment. You looked so beautiful… After that whenever I felt alone or lost I always thought of that smile and I knew exactly where to go and with whom I wanted to be…" he concluded softly stroking her cheek. Her eyes were wide her heart beat wildly and she found herself speechless once more. She did the only thing she could think of and Zelgadis willingly submitted once more to Amelia's "assault".

"Oh he is good!" Raven pointed out admiringly. Yuffie, Anzu and Lisa giggled in agreement. Mai and Jessie rolled their eyes.

"Please! That line had more cheese in it than a grilled cheese sandwich!" Mai protested.

"Yea! I think I need to go brush my teeth now from all that sugar too!" Jessie added in mock-disgust. Mai laughed.

"Yum, I like grilled cheese and on sweet bread might be even yummier…" simple-minded Chelsea said suddenly.

Everyone sweat-dropped!

Anzu rolled her eyes and chastised her. Mai and Jessie laughed.

"I can't help it! I didn't get to have breakfast!" Chelsea whined. Everyone groaned loudly.

"Chelsea really…" Raven began but suddenly stopped she went completely still as Raven's "special" ability activated and launched her mind briefly into the future…

On a dark corner in the back of a crowded ballroom two men with selfish evil looks on their faces conspired. Prince Akmed from the Desert kingdoms and Prince Gaston from the Mountain kingdoms smiled evilly at each other as they briefly shook hands.

"Alright then the first one to get rid of the freak gets the princess!" Gaston said in his deep haughty tone.

"Agreed! The first to kill Greywords wins!" Akmed agreed in his nasally voice twirling his pointy villain's moustache. Then each man went their separate ways the evil look on their faces making their intentions plain to see…

Raven's mind returned to the present with a shiver. Her usually cheerful open expression replaced by one of horror. She didn't waste any time answering questions from her friends/coworkers and ran to the balcony to warn the intended target of her vision…

Zel was lost once more all thoughts of breakfast parties or anything else completely gone from his mind. To say that he was happy was a gruesome understatement! So when Raven ran screaming his name into the balcony it didn't register very quickly. When it finally did he was annoyed at being interrupted but when he saw the look of horror on the girl's face he quickly reconsidered.

"What is it Raven?" Amelia asked beating Zel to it.

"Vision! I had a vision! They're going to kill Lord Greywords!" the girl fired breathlessly. Amelia sucked in a horrified breath and pulled Raven to the couch. The rest of Amelia's handmaidens came right behind her.

"Who's going to try and kill me Ms. Raven?" Zel asked calmly as he immediately relinquished his seat to the girl who looked rather distraught. Amelia patted her on the shoulder and as Raven caught her breath Zel listened carefully as Raven explained the details of her vision. Raven is obviously a seer but her ability to foresee the future was extremely limited and somewhat unreliable which was why she was Amelia's fashion advisor rather than fortune teller!

Raven can only see a few seconds into the future which incidentally made her an excellent archer but fashion was her true calling! On a rare occasion she could see a few days into the future but they were usually very short and incomplete scenes of inconsequential things. That she had captured information so vital and detailed was unusual. Furthermore, just like most of Amelia's handmaidens, she was extremely loyal to Amelia with a very romantic heart and the idea of the fairytale's hero being removed from the story was disturbing to her. If she could prevent it then she would do whatever it took even if it meant interrupting the love scene!

"So you see I had to came and tell Lord Greywords right away!" Raven concluded solemnly. Zel nodded pensively. Amelia and her handmaidens looked unhappy and his princess looked like she was about to launch into one of her self-righteous tirades. He smirked and preempted her.

"I figured something like this might happen," Zel commented calmly. Amelia blinked surprised and the attention turned to him.

"Think about it…These guys are spoiled rich brats accustomed to getting their way. They've spent a week here and gotten nothing from Amelia," he began calmly as they all gathered closer to listen.

"And that's exactly what they'll keep getting! Nothing!" Amelia raged. Unfortunately for her though since it was a vision of the future Akmed and Gaston hadn't technically done anything yet so to punish them without just cause was unlawful. Her hands were tied! She reached out to take hold of Zel's hand and he gave her hand a slight squeeze of reassurance.

"To them it will seem that in less than one day I undid all the progress they believe they made…" he continued explaining.

"Hmph! Progress! Now there's a laugh!" Lisa pointed out angrily. She like all the other handmaidens had been on their toes since the loser gang arrived trying to keep them in line. They resented the prince-lings as much as the guard did for their disrespect towards their beloved princess! Jessie jumped in then too.

"So they'll take it as a humiliating defeat and retaliate in whatever ways they can to save face! We can probably expect attacks against your character as well Lord Greywords," she put in seriously her politically inclined brain already spinning ways to anticipate and counter such attacks.

"Oh it's on now!" Raven declared forcefully. The rage and indignation the girls felt gave Zel an odd sense of comfort. They were angry not just for Amelia but for him as well. It was strange that so many people would care about what happened to him. His cynical tendency made him think at first it was just for Amelia's sake that they were protective of him but he wasn't so sure anymore. Since last night he was a little more willing to believe and trust in others…

"Capt. Kaiba should be preparing against the temper tantrums that the less bold will likely inflict upon the staff but perhaps I'll have a chat with Gen. Walker this morning and give him the heads up too," Zel suggested his calm demeanor and exceeding confidence was starting to restore the good mood of Amelia's happy staff. Amelia however did not seem very happy with any of these explanations.

"I still think I should send the whole selfish lot packing!" Amelia grumbled angrily and amidst the heartfelt agreements of her staff she muttered something about letting Lina fireball them to her heart's content. Zel allowed himself a slight smirk of amusement as he imagined his friend using them for target practice.

"Oh yes Lina would love that!" he commented with a hint of amusement. Amelia giggled as she too pictured it and with her good mood restored somewhat so was the rest of her staff. She smiled sweetly at him and that was Raven and the rest of the girls' cue. Raven jumped up from her spot.

"Well we'll just go and get out of the way now and y'all go ahead get back to what you were doin' 'k…" she offered smiling and pulling Chelsea along with her. The rest of the girls followed cheerfully plotting evil ways to preempt those rotten spoiled prince-lings!

"Can we have some grilled cheese sandwiches now?" Chelsea insisted as they left the balcony. Amelia giggled as the girls groaned Chelsea's name as one! Her frown returned however as the door closed behind them. Zel retook his spot next to Amelia on the couch. She opened her mouth to say something but he brought his fingers up to her lips to stop her.

"Amelia I will be fine," he reassured her putting all of his confidence behind the statement.

'But they made her stop smiling and for that we're gonna kick all their asses!' Brau hissed angrily and Golem wholeheartedly agreed. Zel pushed back his anger and focused his mind on restoring Amelia's smile. He wrapped his arms around her waist.

"After all we've been through together don't you think we can handle a few spoiled prince-lings with injured prides?" he asked calmly. Amelia thought about it for a moment then smiled. Yes considering the adversaries they had encountered in the time they'd known each other a few spoiled brats with bruised egos should be nothing in comparison. She sighed in relief and wrapped her arms around him again. This time it was Zel who initiated the make-out session. His indignation was temporarily forgotten as Amelia melted into his arms.

Lina and Gourry were the first of their friends to arrive that morning. Intent on finding food they had paid no attention to the happy gossip that the palace staff was trading this morning. So when they barged into Amelia's room and stepped out into the balcony their jaws dropped at the scene they encountered. Zel and Amelia were making out like it was the end of the world!

"Good morn—whoa!" Lina exclaimed as she took in the scene.

"Well it looks like you won't have to play matchmaker after all Lina!" Gourry cheerfully pointed out. Lina smiled up at him.

"We knew it was gonna happen sooner or later anyway right!" she replied and Gourry laughed as he agreed. Her stomach grumbled then and her smile disappeared.

"But you know I wish they'd leave it for later! I'm hungry! Hey you two quit it already let's eat!" Lina shouted. Zel raised his hand briefly in a shooing away gesture without breaking his current position then wrapped that arm back around his intended. Well it was a good thing Gourry has quick reflexes or Lina would've pounded Zel into dust! Being dismissed in such an offhanded manner was not something Lina could take very well from anyone not even her best friends! Thankfully Chelsea chose that moment to show up with a little plate…

"Grilled cheese sandwich anyone?" she offered cheerfully. Lina's eyes lit up with joy! She and Gourry inhaled the two sandwiches on Chelsea's little plate!

"I made them with cinnamon raisin bread!" she cheerfully explained as she invited them back inside where she had prepared a large plate full of them! By the time they had wolfed down the last bite Amelia and Zel finally emerged from the balcony. The servants rushed to the balcony after they left to set the breakfast out on the table.

"Good morning Ms. Lina!" Amelia greeted cheerfully. Lina smiled back.

"Yea! I would wish you the same but it looks like you two are already having a REALLY good morning!" she countered in her usual smartass way! Amelia blushed deeply and Zel just rolled his eyes in mild annoyance but refused to rise to the bait. Sylphiel arrived then with Lord Dincht who had run into her on her way into the palace as he was making his way to the training ground with the relieved guards. He had decided to forgo his workout for that morning and invite Sylphiel out to breakfast.

She accepted on the condition that he accompany her to say hi to her friends first. They didn't stay long at any rate and left soon after promising to catch up with them later. Filia and little Val arrived soon after escorted by Capt. Kaiba. She cheerfully greeted everyone and happily congratulated Amelia. Amelia blushed once more as Capt Kaiba had informed Filia of the recent developments between her and Zelgadis.

Amelia tried to coax little Val to come and say hi to her but Val clung to the person holding him at the moment: Capt Kaiba! Little Val was a moody and anti-social child and there were very few people he would go with. He sometimes liked Amelia, he felt indifferent about Zelgadis or Gourry. He liked Martina's little girls well enough but was indifferent to Martina and Zangalus.

"Come back with Filia-mama Val. It's time for breakfast!" Filia entreated gently holding out her arms expectantly. Val shook his head and clung tighter to Seto. He liked Jillas and Gavros of course but they stayed behind to run Filia's shop while she was gone. The only person in all of Saillune who could coax Val to do anything was Seto. No one knew exactly why since Seto Kaiba was not exactly the affectionate type. He was very serious and was never seen with small children but to look at those two together and not know who they were you'd think they were father and son!

"If you don't mind maam…I can take Val to the Guard's day care center. My brother Mokuba is helping Mrs. Morris there today. I will see to it that he has his breakfast," he offered politely and seriously. Val cheered and begged his Filia-mama to let him go. Mokuba was one of Val's favorite playmates and Mokuba loved playing big brother to Val. Filia knew all of this of course so she relented. The Kaiba brothers were the only reason why little Val tolerated the long trips to Saillune.

Zel watched with a thoughtful expression as a contented smile appeared on Kaiba's face as he left with Val. He wondered what it was about Val that made Mokuba and Seto so happy to see him. Valgaav had been a first class psycho after all and Seto was a brilliant, loyal and honorable soldier without a single blemish on his record. He's never even been late to work once! The only thing they had in common was that they were orphans who knew little to nothing of their family origins.

He knew Seto did not know all the details about their adventures with Filia. Filia had requested that they not tell anyone she and Val were dragons. Seto was attracted to power perhaps it was just his never ending search for power that made him so attentive towards Filia and so fatherly towards Val. He could sense the power within them. However it still didn't explain why Val liked Seto so much! Or why Filia was so trusting towards Seto. One of these days Zel was gonna find out…

'Wonder what he would think if he knew?' Brau puzzled as they all moved out to the balcony to have breakfast. Martina and Zangalus showed up then saying that Kelly Morris had come by early and offered to care for their little girls. Martina wasted no time in teasing Amelia. Zel just shook his head and ignored her as he greeted Zangalus.

'He'd probably ask her to marry him!' Golem joked and he and Brau laughed. Zel didn't think it was too funny. It was likely not all that far from the truth! He took his seat next to Amelia and all thoughts came to a screeching halt as she reached under the table and laid her hand on his thigh. He smirked at her boldness and she just smiled back sweetly and innocently.

'Naughty Princess!' Brau commented amused. Golem could only rumble happily. Lina gave them a sour look.

"Hey you two quit it we're trying eat here!" Lina shrieked at them. Zel laughed.

"Since when has anything we say or do stop you from doing anything Lina!" he retorted. Gourry mumbled something with his mouth full that sounded like 'He's right Lina!'

"…Especially eating Ms. Lina!" Amelia added cheerfully as her hand strayed a little farther up Zelgadis' leg much to Brau and Golem's delight. Zel gulped and reached down quickly to hold her hand in a vain attempt to stop her from adding fuel to his already fevered brain. Lina thought about it for a second.

"You're right! More for me!" she declared happily and dug in with the frenetic energy that only Lina was capable of! He watched as Amelia and his friends dug happily into breakfast. But as he took a little fruit and a few other small items Zel found that he had lost his appetite. Well it wasn't really that he wasn't hungry it was just that what he was craving at the moment was definitely not the croissants!

Amelia poured him a cup of tea and he turned to thank her as she returned to her seat but it took quite a bit of concentration and self-discipline to keep a straight face and his voice even. The view her dress afforded him in that moment did nothing to help stop the fire that was about to rage out of control in his mind.

'Uh…Zel…I think we're in trouble…' Brau commented softly. Golem was silent as Zel chewed half-heartedly on the little bit of breakfast he'd managed to rescue and place in his plate!

Why am I taking the time to explain about a side character like Seto? Well every hero needs a sidekick! Tag Seto! You're it!

Thanks for reading and reviewing!