Part 38
Michael sighed as he settled into one of the chairs and grabbed the remote, slouching down and flipping the television on. He made the rounds, stopping on all 10 channels and continuing on his way when he reached the ones airing commercials. He wasn't interested in the hunting shows so he jumped right over them. He paused on the weather channel, listening long enough to determine that the possibility of snow was once again in the forecast. Big shock, he thought with a roll of his eyes. His eyebrows lifted in interest when he landed on a hockey game, but it was just highlights of a recent game so he kept going. Around and around he went, momentarily sitting up straighter when he landed on an old episode of Bewitched.
Maria glanced over her shoulder when she heard him let loose with a laugh. She smiled when she saw what he was watching, shaking her head as she went back to washing dishes. He had made dinner so she had volunteered to wash the dishes, something she knew he hated to do. He had a goofy laugh but it was music to her ears and it was the most beautiful things she had ever heard. She finished the dishes and dried her hands, hanging the towel over the dishes in the draining rack to dry it out before walking over to the living area. Michael reached up to take her hand when she came to stand beside him and she smiled when he pulled her down into his lap.
"Today was a good day," she said, holding up a decorated sugar cookie.
He smiled and broke it in half, shoving a bite of the cookie in his mouth. "Not bad if you enjoy freezing your ass off. Which, just for the record, I don't."
"You had fun though." She traced over his features with her forefinger. "You and Maggie and Miss Cindy," she teased lightly.
Michael started to respond to that but someone knocked on the door before he could speak.
"Open it up, Guerin. It's like the friggin' North Pole out here."
He grunted at the sound of Kyle's voice. "I thought we were spendin' the evenin' alone?"
"Maybe he just needs to… I don't know, borrow something."
"You have 10 seconds to get this door open, Michael!"
He nodded when Isabel's voice carried through the door. "Uh-huh, and he needed Isabel to hold his hand to come over an' borrow somethin'?"
"Well, maybe…" she trailed off when she heard the murmured conversation on the other side of the door and realized that they now had four people at their front door. "Okay, I don't recall anything being said about everyone coming over here."
He growled when she shifted, wiggling off of his lap and squeezing into the small space he wasn't occupying. "Guess that means you want me to get the door?"
"It's cold, I'm not gonna stand in front of the open door and get a case of freezer burn."
He kissed her as he stood up, snagging the throw lying over the back of the second chair and shaking it open. He draped it over her before going over to the door and moving the kitchen chair, turning the lock, and opening the door. "Someone call a meeting we're not aware of?"
"Impromptu meetings are your thing, El Capitan," Kyle said as he kicked the snow off of his boots and followed Isabel and Liz inside.
"Well, you're all here and neither of us remembers anything about you bein' here."
Kyle leaned over to take his boots off and carried them over to sit them by the fireplace. "Maria, you decent over there?"
She snorted and peered at him over the edge of the blanket. "Did Michael open the door for you?"
"Hmm, good point. So, Isabel figured we should knock out a few things since we have an evening alone."
"Correction, we had an evening alone," she said with a glare at him. "Now we have a cabin full of people."
"We still have a costume to be fitted," Isabel said, motioning for Max to set the bag he was carrying down on the small dining table.
"Hey, don't look at me," Max grumbled when Michael shot a look at him that came dangerously close to incinerating. "I'm the one she's dressing up as a friggin' elf. Do you see anything close to excitement on my face?" He dropped the bag on the table, careless of the red velvet material springing free from the opening. "No, you don't. And why? Because I don't want to dress up like a stupid friggin' elf. I'm a grown man for God's sake!"
"Okay, Liz, looks like I'm gonna have to give you the same advice I gave Maria just a couple days ago," Kyle said with a grin.
"If you dare impart your advice on me I'm liable to hurt you," Liz hissed at him.
"It was very good advice," he defended himself. "El Capitan's a helluva lot more relaxed than he was prior to my expert advice."
"Sex is not the answer to everything. What kinda Buddhist are you anyway?"
"The kinda Buddhist that doesn't get laid," Michael said, catching just the last of their hushed conversation. "Although in Kyle's defense, sex may not be the answer to everything but it's a good place to start."
"See? Someone who appreciates what I have to say."
The girls all rolled their eyes and Liz grinned as she rid herself of her gear and sat on the arm of Maria's chair, wedging her sock feet under the other girl's thighs. "It's insanely cold out there!" She sniffed the air as she got comfortable and she made a face. "Maria, not to be rude or anything, but what is that smell?"
Maria just grinned and shrugged. "I was kinda in a tuna melt mood."
Isabel watched them as Maria shifted, offering Liz half of her blanket, and feeling a little bit jealous at their closeness. She made a face and wrinkled her nose. Liz was right about one thing. That smell had to go. She turned her head to the side when Kyle started rummaging around in the kitchen and she wandered around until she located the cinnamon scented candles. They would do, she decided as she lit them and then used her powers to enhance the scent, making it stronger and erasing the foul scent of tuna lingering in the air.
"Love the coffee mugs," he remarked, turning the mugs on the counter around. "You guys got hot chocolate?"
"Make yourself at home, Valenti," Michael muttered. "Just leave Tigger and the Bear on the counter. Hot chocolate's in the cabinet over the coffee pot."
"Thanks, I will." He put a pot of water on the stove and pulled down what he needed for hot chocolate. "Iz, you want one?"
"Yeah, thanks." She started pulling the Santa suit out of the sack, shaking it out and laying it across the table.
He dug around, looking for marshmallows while he waited for the water to boil. "So, El Capitan, looks like you're up for your fitting." He turned to grin at Michael as he pulled mugs down from the cabinet and set them out.
"Yeah, let's stand around and discuss how that's not gonna happen," Michael muttered acerbically.
"Look, I'm too short to pull off the Claus," he pointed out reasonably. "Max, well, the guy's gonna be an oversized elf prancing around in green tights, so he can't do it. Besides, if that's your other option, do you really wanna do that?"
Michael glanced back and forth between Max and Kyle before turning to stare at the red velvet coat Isabel was holding out to him. "Gimme that damn thing," he said, snatching it out of her hands and ignoring her triumphant grin. "Fascist," he muttered, not caring that she heard him. He shrugged into the jacket, frowning down at the way that it hung on him. "Oh, yeah, this looks great."
Isabel sighed and looked around the room, smiling when her eyes landed on the bed. "Maria, I need a pillow… or two."
Maria got up to go and grab them while Liz got up to walk over to the others. She bit back a smile when Isabel started buttoning up the coat and Michael smacked her hands away. This wasn't going to put him in a good mood, she thought. And the night had looked so promising. She snatched the pillows up and carried them over to Isabel, wincing at the thunderous look on Michael's face. Oh, he was not a happy camper.
"Alright, we'll try it with one pillow first," Isabel decided. "Michael can hold the… No, Maria, you hold the pillows against him and Liz, you take this rope and run it around him. It's only temporary; we'll get a belt for later. Right now we just need to see how you're gonna look all jiggly and jolly."
Maria bit her bottom lip at Isabel's words. At this rate he was going to blow within a matter of minutes. She held the pillow against his stomach, pressing the ends against his sides so Liz could reach around with the rope and tie it in place. "I'm sure this won't take that long," she whispered as she looked up at him. Once the pillow was snugged up against him she pulled the jacket around him but before she could button it Isabel started speaking.
"No, no, no, we're gonna need that second pillow. This…" she waved her hand over him, "this isn't jiggly." She lifted her gaze to scan his features. "We'll work on the jolly part later."
Kyle made several trips from the tiny kitchen, bringing the mugs of hot chocolate over and setting them on the table. "Okay, that's Tigger for El Capitan, although there's nothing bouncy about you, my friend. Winnie the Pooh for Maria, which is acceptable since you are a true friend. Piglet for Liz since she's Pooh Bear's best friend and a generally timid creature. Max, there's only one possible mug for you." He grinned and slid the one with the bluish-gray imprint of a donkey on the side. "Eeyore since he's the voice of doom and gloom as well as a good friend to Pooh Bear." He grinned at the two remaining mugs as he picked up one and held it out to Isabel. "Rabbit of course because Rabbit is one of the smartest animals… and because Rabbit gets pissed when Tigger tromps all over his garden." He shot a grin at Michael. "That's you and this Christmas thing, that's the garden, in case it wasn't clear. That just leaves me." He picked up the last mug and smiled to himself. "Owl… easily the wisest of the woodland critters."
Max snorted and leaned back against the sink with his arms crossed over his chest. "Owl, huh? If memory serves he couldn't even spell the word owl."
Kyle just rolled his eyes and took a sip from his mug. "Think you've got your tights in a twist, El Presidente." He leaned one hip against the table and watched Liz secure the pillows to Michael's front and then Maria buttoning up the coat over his jiggly 'belly'.
Isabel ignored them and stared down at the mug Kyle had placed in her hands. She could smell the extra chocolate, see the extra marshmallows piled into the mug and drizzled with chocolate. Her eyes filled at the realization that he had remembered her telling him the way her dad had always made her hot chocolate.
"Say, do you guys have any games? Cards maybe?"
"Don't you have somethin' to do?" Michael growled. "Update the stupid planner maybe?"
Kyle pretended to consider that for a moment. "Hmm, no, that's already done, but thanks for checkin'."
Michael watched him when he pushed away from the table and wandered around in the kitchen, looking things over.
"Okay, I think we need to see the pants too," Isabel said as she tapped her thumbnail against her bottom lip.
"Then you'd better look in that bag over there," Michael said as he shook his head. "I'm not some little doll you can play dress up with."
Max rubbed his hand over the lower half of his face in an effort to keep from laughing at his friend's disgruntled expression. He'd already been through the humiliation of his fitting and Michael had been only too happy to mock him. "Sucks, doesn't it?"
"This whole thing sucks," he snapped, grabbing the oversized pants and pulling them on over his jeans. He frowned down at himself when the pants came halfway up his calves. "I'm not doin' this," he muttered, shoving them down again.
"Stop!" Isabel insisted, motioning for him to pull them back up. She crouched down in front of him and tugged on the hem of the right leg. "Kyle, we're gonna need more material. I can fix them without it, but we have to make it look like we're doing this normally."
"Okay, I think we can swing that," he said agreeably. "Hey, can I have a cookie?"
Maria looked over her shoulder. "Sure."
"No."
She rolled her eyes at Michael's grumpy response and nodded at Kyle, mouthing a 'go ahead' before turning back to the fitting. "Michael, I really don't think it's all that bad."
"I don't see you dressed up like a fool."
"Are you calling Snowflake a fool?" she asked with a pout.
He sighed and shook his head. "No. Look, we've established that this stupid thing's too short, so can we get on with this insanity? I had plans for tonight and havin' all of you crammed in here wasn't part of it."
Max shrugged one shoulder when Michael leveled a glare at him. "Don't look at me. I'm not the one who's making people dress up."
"Max, chill out, girlfriend," Maria said, elbowing him gently. "Dayna said they're not really tights."
"Really? Because that's kinda what they looked and felt like today," he grumbled.
"She said what you'll be wearing is more like the coveralls we've been wearing outside."
Max turned his head to glare at Kyle. "What I was tryin' on today didn't look anything like any kinda coveralls."
"Okay, well, maybe they got the wrong costume earlier today."
"Great, so I was dressed up like a leprechaun for nothing?" His eyes narrowed as he studied Kyle. If that stupid outfit hadn't been what he was wearing for this Christmas nightmare he just knew Kyle had been behind it.
Isabel was watching the others and she could see that Kyle was minutes away from being on the receiving end of trouble from two irritated hybrids. She sipped her drink, tasting the hot sauce laced into the sweet chocolaty goodness. "Kyle, I think this would be the perfect time for you to take a break. You could use some downtime."
Kyle froze, his mug halfway to his mouth, lips pursed to take a drink. He lifted his head, mouth slowly closing as he straightened up from his slouch against the table. "Really?" A night off? The cabin all to himself for a while? He chugged the last of his hot chocolate, wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, and hurried to wash his mug out and place it in the drying rack.
Michael and Max exchanged a look when Kyle buzzed around the cabin, pulling his gear on in record time. Dressed for the cold temperatures he made his way to the door and turned to look at Isabel.
"What time should I come back to walk you over to our place?" he asked.
Isabel shook her head. "I can get Max or Michael to walk me over." Not that she needed anyone to walk her home, but it would make him feel better.
Kyle watched her for a moment, trying to decide if she would actually have one of the guys walk her over to their place. "Okay, I guess I don't need to leave the door unlocked or wait up for you?"
She snorted to hide the smile. "No, I've got my own key," she said, holding her hand up. "And it could be a while, so… enjoy your downtime."
"Why's he get a night off?" Michael demanded as soon as the door closed behind Kyle. "He updates your planner and screws around with light bulbs… how can he need a night off?" He glared down at Liz when she pulled the thin rope tight to tie it. "Cut it out!"
"Michael, quit being such a bear," Isabel snapped. "Kyle puts up with your surly personality all day long. The least you could do is give him a break." She shot a glare at her brother. "That goes for both of you. Would it have killed you to help him with that pen today?"
"Did you know that outfit I was wearin' today wasn't that stupid moronic reindeer costume?"
"Reindeer wrangler," she corrected.
"Whatever!"
Isabel walked around Michael, looking his outfit over as she tapped her bottom lip thoughtfully. "You know, Max, he played a prank on you. So what?"
"A prank that the rest of you were in on him with?"
"Why don't you just chill out? Yes, Dayna played along with him, but so what? He's letting off a little bit of steam."
"At my expense."
She rolled her eyes. "Alright, fine, he won't do it again, okay?" She squeezed in between Liz and Maria and poked the pillows filling out the front of Michael's Santa coat. "Hmm, I don't know," she said as she pushed them around, "what do you guys think? Do we need to take the coat in a little bit or maybe just make him… fluffier?"
Michael endured the poking and prodding for all of thirty seconds before he shoved their hands away. "That's it! I'm not doin' this. I want everyone out. Now!" One of the large black buttons flew off of the coat when it didn't give in response to his tugging. He paid no heed to it as it bounced across the floor, jerking the coat off and throwing it on the table.
Maria motioned for the others to give them some space as she reached out and grabbed his hands, stopping his erratic movements as he tried to free himself from the pillows tied to his middle.
"This's bullshit, Maria! We could come under fire here and how am I supposed to do anything with a bunch of pillows strapped to my body?"
She was watching him, trying to pinpoint what had set off his agitation. He had started to relax and he had spent the day with Maggie, decorating and goofing off. He had played football in the snow with the others. They had come back to the cabin and he had made dinner. She reached out to stop the red velvet jacket when it inched toward the edge of the table, pushing it back to the center to keep it from landing on the floor. Of course, she realized. "Michael."
His agitation dropped just a notch when she called his name in that voice that commanded his attention. He just didn't have the words to tell her how much wearing this stupid costume brought back memories that he'd rather not deal with.
"Look, maybe we don't need to do this tonight, okay?" She stroked her thumbs over the insides of his wrists. "Hey," she reached up to cup his stubborn jaw, lifting his chin and meeting his gaze, "we've had no indication they're coming. Liz hasn't had any premonitions…"
"Yeah, and the one she had last time nearly came too late," he bit out.
"Maybe you and Max should hang out for a while, take a break from things." She motioned to the television behind him. "You guys could watch a game or something. Go over to their cabin, relax for a while." She leaned in and brushed her lips against his. "We'll have our night, okay? Just spend some time with Max and unwind a little bit first." She winked at him. "You'll enjoy it more when we're together."
He snorted at that, but after a moment he nodded. "Get me outta this thing." As soon as she smiled and reached around to unknot the rope he looked over at Max. "Hey, Evans, whatcha say we head over to your place and come up with somethin' to give Valenti a little payback?"
"Crisis averted," Maria mumbled ten minutes later when the two of them headed outside.
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Kyle stood in the center of the living room and turned in a small circle as he looked around, letting the silence seep into his soul. It had been a long day and his muscles ached. The panels for the reindeer pen had been heavy and Eddie had lost his grip on one of them at one point and it had dropped forward and landed against Kyle's right shoulder. He rolled his shoulder at the memory, wincing at the stiffness he could feel setting in. He hadn't really thought much about it as the afternoon wore on, but after coming inside and thawing out it had made its presence known.
His gaze landed on the sewing machine taking up most of the breakfast table. He should've known when Isabel sent him up to collect the sewing machine that it was gonna be a long day. As soon as Julia had showed the case to him she asked if he needed help with it and he just shook his head and gave her a smile. And he hadn't needed help with it, but 25 pounds could sure get heavy when carrying an awkwardly shaped piece of machinery down the driveway. It couldn't be more than an eighth of a mile, something he could run full out without breaking a sweat. But that didn't account for nearly two feet of snow on the ground or slick, icy patches that seemed to creep up at the most inopportune of times.
He made a face at the sewing machine as he recalled slipping and sliding and nearly dropping it on several occasions. "Hernia in a box," he muttered, slapping his palm against the case as he bypassed it to walk into the kitchen. Like it was even gonna be used. He browsed through the cabinets, looking around for the bag of potato chips he had bought the other day. He fisted the air when he found them. "Sour cream and onion." He walked over to the loveseat and flopped down, opening the bag and reaching for the remote at the same time. He muted the television and flipped through the available stations for a few minutes, the quiet crunching of the chips the only sound in the cabin.
His eyes glazed over and he finally dropped the remote and just munched on his chips and stared at the coffee table in front of him. He tipped his head to one side, studying the hinge that he was pretty sure had been crooked just a couple of days ago. Isabel, he decided with a smile. It had probably driven her nuts until she just couldn't look at it for another minute. He turned the television off and dropped the remote on the cushion beside him as he dropped his head back against the couch.
What a day, he thought. It had been a long one. A good one, but a long one. He smiled at the memory of chasing Maria around and goofing off with her. All the years they had gone to school together and he never would've suspected that she would turn out to be one of his best friends. His mind wandered over the day and the impromptu football game that had started when Brian had found the ball in the barn. It made him remember Saturday afternoon games in the backyard when he was a kid. He had been ready to call it a night when the girls had come out of the house though. And Michael and Max thought they were the ones who had it rough? He snorted at that. Let one of them try to keep Isabel happy.
"How do you get yourself into these things?" he asked, his voice loud in the cabin. "Running around hauling sewing machines that'll never get used, putting pens together for friggin' reindeer, and playin' the role of the Christmas Nazi's secretary." He shoved another handful of chips in his mouth and wondered what the others were doing. "Doesn't matter," he mumbled, spraying chip crumbs over the front of his shirt. He sat up and brushed them away. "You've got the place all to yourself and you're sittin' here talkin' to yourself. Get up and take advantage of it, Valenti."
He nodded to himself and got up to put the chips away, pulling out the little portable radio he had found in one of the cabinets. He plugged it in and turned it on, finding a suitable station and cranking the volume up before going into the bathroom and turning the shower on. An actual hot shower, he mused. He loved Isabel to death, but the girl tended to use up the majority of the hot water and he didn't terribly enjoy cold showers. He was taking advantage of having a little bit of time to himself.
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Max slouched down on one end of the couch, staring at the television without seeing it. The volume was turned up well beyond what was necessary for them to hear the game but he barely heard it. He didn't care for his assigned job for this Christmas thing. He didn't want to spend his time around kids, being reminded of what he had lost. It was difficult enough to keep that under control without the constant reminder, but this would put him in constant contact with kids. What kid was gonna just ignore the opportunity to check out a live reindeer? Every day he walked a fine line, trying to balance his emotions over the loss of his son with his feelings for Liz. A lot of that had to do with pushing so much of it to the back of his mind. That was going to be hard to do when those memories were being brought to the surface every time he turned around. His attention was pulled away when Michael suddenly sat forward, energetically gesturing as he yelled at the television.
Michael slapped his thigh when all of his yelling and cursing at the referee did nothing to change his mind about his call. "What a moron," he muttered, slumping back on the couch. "Can you believe that call?" He rolled his eyes when he glanced at Max and realized he wasn't paying any attention to the game. "You're not even watchin' the game." His tone was lightly accusing, tempered only because he could see that his friend had something on his mind.
Max shrugged and focused his gaze on the television. "Hockey's not really my game." He snorted and motioned to Michael's face. "Doesn't really look like it's your game either."
"I didn't do that bad," he defended himself and turned his eyes back to the game. "Would've felt better if I hadn't slid across the ice on my face at one point, but you live and learn."
"And that lesson would be…?"
"Always wear a face mask." He motioned to the screen. "Now see? That right there was a sweet shot."
Max went back to staring when Michael started arguing with the television as if the players could hear him. His stare was broken when the camera panned past a little girl holding a stuffed animal and he glanced at Michael, thinking over the past few days and how easily he seemed to have adapted to being around the little girl.
"What do you think when you look at Maggie?"
The future, he thought, but didn't say. "I don't know," he grunted, his eyes scanning across the screen as he followed the puck. "No!" he roared when a player on the opposing team took possession of the puck.
The action on the ice was frenzied but it was all lost on Max as his mind wandered back over every time he'd seen Michael with the little girl. He had never imagined seeing his best friend walk around with a stuffed animal tucked in his jacket, making a pinky swear, or sharing Santa secrets with a little girl. He had eased into the role with seemingly little effort and somehow it suited him.
It barely registered when Michael suddenly shot to his feet, fisted hands high in the air as he shouted triumphantly when his team scored. "Hey, Michael, do you ever, ya know, think about having kids with Maria?"
Every sound in the room narrowed down to the last four words to come out of Max's mouth and Michael slowly turned his head to look at him. "You're the second person to ask me that tonight," he said, shaking his head as his arms slowly dropped back to his sides. "What is up with everybody?"
"I've been watching you with Maggie. You've just got a way with her. You're so open with her."
He narrowed his eyes. "Is this about to turn into one of those chick conversations that we both know I don't like to have?"
Max sighed and dropped his head back against the couch to stare up at the ceiling. "You must've thought about it before. Having kids with Maria, what it would be like…"
Michael growled under his breath. He wasn't interested in having this conversation right now. Time to turn it around. "What's goin' on with you, Maxwell?"
"You ever wonder how things would've turned out if you'd made a different decision? Taken a different path?"
He turned back to the television. "No."
Max shrugged, not bothering to call him on what was obviously a lie. "Sometimes… all the time really, I wonder how things would've been different if I'd been able to keep Zan. I wonder if making the decision to keep him would've meant Liz and I wouldn't be together now. That whole thing with Tess, I don't know if we could've gotten past that if she'd had to look at him every day."
And here we go, Michael thought, watching the two teams battle for possession of the puck. He was only listening to Max with half an ear, focusing on the game rather than most of what was being said.
"I don't know what to do, Michael. I feel like I'm stuck in the middle. I miss my son but I don't want to hurt Liz."
Michael sat back and looked over at him. "You know the answer, Maxwell."
Max's eyes shot to his friend, confused. "You've been spending too much time around Kyle," he muttered, glaring at him when his gaze went right back to the television. "You wanna share just what you think that answer is?"
"No!" Michael yelled as he jumped up and went off on the players again.
"Michael?"
He turned to look at Max again. "What?"
Max finally reached over and snatched up the remote, viciously stabbing the mute button. Silence fell over the cabin and he ignored the look of irritation on his companion's face. "This's serious, Michael."
He dropped back down onto the couch again, sighing deeply as he rubbed his face with both hands. "Look, all you've gotta do is talk to her about it. She'll understand. She's Liz and you two have that whole interstellar soulmate connection goin' for you." He shook his head. "And while I might not be the expert on relationships, you two aren't past that whole Tess thing. If you were you could talk to her openly about Zan."
"Yeah? Well… What do you know anyway?"
Michael shrugged. "My point exactly. Let's just watch the game and leave the talkin' to the girls."
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"Well, that went over well, don'tcha think?" Liz asked as she looked at the abandoned Santa suit lying on the table.
Maria just rolled her eyes and snorted. "The night wasn't supposed to end like this. Michael was doing so well when he was with Maggie."
Liz chewed on the inside of her cheek. "He's so good with her."
A face-splitting grin appeared on Maria's face. "He is, isn't he? We actually talked about what our kids would be like one day. Well, he didn't bring it up or anything. I asked him if he could see us with kids someday. He surprised me when he said he thought he could see that for us one day."
Liz smiled at her friend. "Oh, Maria, that's wonderful! I'm so happy for you."
"Why does that surprise you?" Isabel asked absentmindedly as she straightened the pants to the Santa suit and ran her palm over the material to extend the hemline. "Michael spent his whole life searching for home only to find it right here with you. That man's home is wherever you are. When we had the chance to leave earth, he's the one who walked away from it…" she trailed off when she glanced up and saw the look on Maria's face, realizing that she was unintentionally picking at old wounds.
"And then I turned around and walked away from him," Maria said quietly. "That's what you're thinking, right?"
"What? No!"
Liz chewed on her bottom lip as she glanced up at Isabel. "Did Max… did he hesitate when you guys were getting ready to leave?"
Isabel swallowed hard. This was not a conversation she was prepared to have. "Why would he hesitate at that point? You were pushing him away, pushing him at Tess. He never had any interest in destiny but he was so confused and he had no idea which direction he was going in. And Tess used that to her advantage. Do you really think she didn't know that his heart wasn't hers? She knew you were a threat, you would always be a threat, and it escalated her efforts to translate that stupid destiny book."
Maria got up and held her hands up between Isabel and Liz. "Okay, let's cool it before one of us says something that can't be taken back."
Too late, Isabel thought. "No need to bother." She quickly folded the Santa suit up and pulled her coat on. "I'm leaving now." She hadn't meant to say that, hadn't known she was even thinking it, but now it was out there and she couldn't take it back. Why had Liz had to ask that question?
"Isabel, you don't have to – "
She waved off Maria's attempt to get her to stay. "No, I need to work on these costumes. I'll just see you tomorrow." She made her escape before either of them could say another word.
"You know she didn't mean it, Liz."
"Yes, she did. She might not have intended to say it, but she meant it. She blames me for Alex's death. And if I hadn't pushed Max at Tess maybe she wouldn't – "
"No, don't even say it!"
Liz forced a smile. "Let's go back to talking about Michael and your future children," she said, her eyes silently begging Maria to drop it.
Maria sighed and sat down on the bed, patting the mattress next to her. It wasn't the right time to pursue that subject so she respected Liz's request. She thought back to his answer and smiled at his response to her comment about their children being beautiful. "It gave me hope, Liz," she said when her friend sat down beside her.
"For the future?" Liz asked.
"Well, kinda. Hope that one day he'll be able to trust me like he used to. I know we're gonna have to really talk to each other about what happened in the past if we're gonna make this work." She paused and picked at a loose thread on the quilt before looking up at Liz. "Speaking of talking, I've never seen Max get so worked up like he was early about his elf costume. And what is with his attitude towards Kyle?"
Liz just stared at her hands, unwilling and unable to talk about it.
Maria reached over and took her hands. "Listen to me, Chica. I love you and I know you, and Max, well, Max is my girlfriend too," she said, giving a little laugh as she tried to lighten what she was trying to say. "Liz, you've gotta talk to Max about your feelings where Zan's concerned."
Liz gave her a knowing look as she nodded reassuringly, although she wasn't certain which of them she was trying to reassure. "I know, you're right, and it's just…" she reached up to brush away an escaping tear, "God, it's just so hard to put it into words and I don't want to hurt him. Once I let it out I won't be able to take it back." She fought to hold her emotions in. "I can see his loss and I can see how it affects him." She shook her head. "I just don't want to make it worse for him."
Maria pulled her into a tight hug and sighed. "Liz, sweetie, if you two don't talk soon, it's only gonna get worse." Her conscience chose that moment to put its two cents in. And you'd do well to take your own advice.