Zelgadis Greywords and the Magic of Carealot

Disclaimer: I do not own: Slayers or anything else that ends up on this story! There are way too many crossovers for me to list them all so I'm not gonna!

Nougatch-Hemlock: is a poison that Capt. Janeway says one of the Q's staying on her ship used to kill him self. Apparently it is so horrible that even the advanced technology of the federation has no antidote! I'm not sure whether it is a fictional poison or not. Trek can be very tricky with their pseudo-science! At any rate this is a fictional story so I am doing my homage to my beloved Voyager through that little cameo! Yay!

I need help…If you had to name Martina and Zangalus' little girls what names would you give them? For the life of me I can't come up with anything that sounds like it belongs in Slayer's world. Maybe Mary Kate and Ashley...

I'm kidding! I swear!

Ok on with the show…

Episode 7: "What we have here is a failure to communicate…" – Cool hand Luke

The thing with fairytales is that people just can't get enough! It's all very cheesy but it gives people something simple and cheerful to talk about. It brings the most unlikely people together. The highest born most refined lady could be seen chatting cheerfully with a local tavern wench because she was more likely to have heard the latest developments from one of her "friends" in the palace guard. People in Saillune forgot class distinctions and came together as one. A miracle of love…

Ah love…Ain't it grand!

Unfortunately Zel ain't getting any!

It sucks to be the hero when you want to be "the boyfriend" and do "boyfriend things" with your girlfriend and there's twenty maids lurking about polishing doorknobs waiting for the next chapter!

It sucks to be the hero when you think you finally got away for a moment only to find that they found some other way to spy on you!

It sucks to be the hero when you get pulled into a dark closet by your pretty girlfriend and just when things are about to get interesting there comes yet another nosy well-meaning little maid or handmaiden looking for the next hot scoop!

It sucks!

'What good is it to be the "hero" when everyone is watching your every move?'

'Easy Zel!' Brau tried to reason with an already wound up Zelgadis as he threw the bed sheets off of himself and got up just as the sun was rising. He stomped towards his bath and out of a slight bit of rebellion he refused to wear the fashionable outfit Raven sent for him. Instead he pulled out his regular clothes! Last night he'd nearly lost his cool with Anzu after he found another shell-like listening device. It was the fourth one in as many days! He chose instead to walk away and let Amelia deal with it.

'She doesn't mean any harm you know…' Golem added in an attempt to appease his hot-headed counterpart.

'Are you sure about that!' Zel thought angrily. Like a typical broody boy Zel misinterpreted their enthusiasm. To a broody boy like Zel all this attention was suddenly seen as a form of distrust toward him. Because like all broody boys his motto is: The world is out to get me! You can't really blame those broodies for their paranoia though 'cause nine times out of ten it is!

'Besides she's their future queen…It comes with the territory,' Brau added but he didn't sound happy with his own reasoning. Zel sighed heavily as he went through his morning routines. He had thought about that at first but after a while he became suspicious because it seemed they were over-doing it! They never made this much of a fuss when Phil and Amelia were being targeted for assassination or any special occasion! Why should this be any different!

So because of all this attention he hadn't been able to sit and have a serious and private conversation with Amelia. He'd been away for six months and during his journeys he'd had plenty of time alone to think. He felt in the past four years that he had changed. Not just in the way his powers worked but in the way he looked at his life. True he'd been in denial trying to convince him self that he didn't need anyone. But from the moment Amelia's lips touched his he knew he couldn't go back to the way he was.

His life until now has been nothing but an endless road. He was a man trying to leave behind a painful past and avoiding an empty future on never ending roads. He concentrated on immediate destinations so as to not dwell on the fact that he had no where really to be and no one waiting for him. There was no "home" to go back to or family to visit. So when your life doesn't allow you to dream of simple things you tell yourself you don't need them. They are a useless waste of time or so he had told himself they were!

But who was he kidding though? He did want a home… A place to belong to and protect… A place where he could love and be loved… A place where he could be himself without fear of rejection or persecution… He loved Amelia because of her ability to see past his faults and accept him as he is. He liked Saillune because the people were open-minded enough to see the man he is and not just Rezo's spell. Amelia represented everything he so desperately desired and had told himself many times he couldn't have. He had spent so much time and effort burying his feelings that now that they were surfacing they were beginning to overwhelm him.

He needed to share all of this with Amelia. He needed her to understand what he wanted and how he felt. More importantly he needed to know what she wanted! When he left six months ago she was still talking about traveling and seeing the world being miss crusader for justice! Is that still what she wanted to do? Parliament was pressuring to get her on the throne…however…how will being on that throne change Amelia's plans? Has she thought at all about marriage and family? Or is it too soon still for her to even consider that subject?

He wanted to know but how could he pour his heart out? How could he talk to her about his deepest and most secret hopes and fears when no sooner do words leave his mouth when they're all over the street market gossip mill! It was frustrating to say the least! If Amelia wasn't quite ready he was ok with it. He could wait. He could be patient if he needed to be. But he needed to know! He just needed to know and it was frustrating that he couldn't talk to her without his every word and action being dissected by the entire country!

'We just need to be patient…Once her birthday celebrations are over everything will calm down and we can clear all of that up!' Golem suggested in a sad little rumbling tone. Not being able to spend much time alone with Amelia was taking a toll on Golem the most! He finally pulled on his regular boots and left the room. He would have to hurry to Amelia's room. He would only have a few minutes before his friends showed up to have breakfast with them.

All in all if it weren't for Amelia's soft lips and eager embrace he would put this week in the category of: The worst week ever! It was simply awful to spend your days discussing military strategy with old generals or surprise guest speaking at Saillune's Military Academy. Being ambushed by lobbyists and aspiring politicians on his way to lunch with his friends was no picnic either. Dodging journalists and nosy maids while keeping an eye out for Phil's not so subtle tests of character was definitely no fun at all!

It took some effort to keep his neutral expression in place as he made his way. Fortunately no one noticed how "out of sorts" he was this morning. They were too distracted by the fact that he was wearing his regular clothes rather than one of the many fancy outfits that Raven had prepared for him. Yuffie opened the door to Amelia's quarters and couldn't hide her surprise at not seeing him in one of Raven's creations. His morning greeting was just a few degrees cooler than normal and Yuffie did not miss that!

"Her highness will be out in a few minutes. Would you like some tea?" she asked cautiously. He answered wordlessly with a shake of his head and leaned on the balcony to wait for Amelia. Surprisingly enough Zel's only amusement was those two bumbling idiots that tried unsuccessfully to assassinate him. He smirked in amusement. It was a joke really!

Their first lame attempt had been to create a rock avalanche when he rode out to meet with Amelia and his friends for a picnic. It had been easy for him to simply order the stones to stop and pile themselves safely and neatly at the bottom of the cliff he was riding past rather than sweep him away – horse and all – and crush him. One of the new powers he received from Golem allowed him to control the earth element without the need for help from spells. He chuckled slightly.

Their next lame attempt was to put poison on his soup bowl. It was so pathetic that he had actually seen their hired flunky put the drops of Nougatch-Hemlock in his bowl before everyone sat down to dinner. He could've cast a spell to turn the soup into clean water but where's the fun in that! He actually drank most of it and cast the water spell on what remained so as to not endanger any of the dogs that get the table scraps. He excused himself early from the dinner table feigning a stomach ache. He informed Capt. Kaiba of who the current culprit was and said person was immediately arrested.

The poison should've killed him within a few minutes but thanks to the abilities afforded to him through Brau he was impervious to all poisons and curses. He had to give them one thing though: they covered their tracks well! Every single would-be assassin caught could not identify their employer. Not even with truth spells or potions! The look on their faces when Zel appeared unharmed at the ball later that evening had been priceless! He smiled as he wondered what sort of pathetic attempt they would come up with next…

Yuffie returned to Amelia's bedroom with a confused look on her face.

"What is it Yuffie? Is Zel here yet?" Amelia asked concerned.

"Yes Princess but he doesn't seem himself…he seems a bit…distant this morning," she replied hesitantly. She turned to Raven and told her he wasn't wearing the outfit she sent for him this morning.

"What! Why! Is there something wrong with it!" the girl fretted nervously.

"How should I know? I didn't ask! He had a scary look on his face when I opened the door," Yuffie replied annoyed. Amelia laughed.

"It's ok Raven! Zel's just probably tired of all the attention. He likes to keep a low profile all the publicity is probably starting to get to him," she explained calmly. Her handmaidens didn't seem reassured by her explanations as they exchanged wary glances.

"Don't worry! He just needs a little break that's all! It'll be fine!" she reassured cheerfully and left the room. As soon as she was gone Anzu busted out her fifth listening device. Lord Greywords was not acting like himself and this definitely qualified as a hot scoop! Mai yanked it away from her before she could activate it.

"You people are getting carried away with this! We already lost a week's wages because of this incessant spying and I don't want to lose any more!" Mai lectured angrily. Jessie stood and agreed with Mai reminding them that Amelia had threatened that the next time she caught them spying it would be a month's pay! Yuffie rolled her eyes and snatched the device back.

"Stop being a wet blanket!" she retorted and handed the device back to Anzu. Raven put her hand on the device to stop Anzu.

"Jessie and Mai are right you guys," she said seriously. Chelsea nodded her agreement.

"Yea…how would you feel if you're out with your boyfriend and all your friends are watching everything you do and listening in to everything you guys say?" she added. The girls frowned as they considered Chelsea's words.

"Wow…that would suck!" Lisa put in contritely.

"I hadn't thought of it like that!" Yuffie admitted guiltily. Anzu sighed and with a penitent look on her face she put the device away.

"Let's go down stairs and leave them alone for a little while," she suggested solemnly. They all agreed and they left Amelia's room together. Anzu went to let Amelia know they would wait for her downstairs. She shrunk a bit at the suspicious look Zel cast at her and flinched at the lack of a smile on Amelia's face. She curtsied quickly and practically fled from the balcony. Her curiosity was ruining the fairytale! She vowed she would make it up to her princess as they left…

Amelia walked out into the balcony. Zel was leaning against the rail smirking mischievously. He turned when she arrived and smiled more fully for her. She returned his smile and eagerly accepted his embrace. He sighed heavily as they sat down and Amelia looked up at him concerned.

"Are you ok?" she asked studying him curious. He opened his mouth to say something but promptly closed it and shook his head.

"I'm just tired," he replied. She frowned and shook her head.

"There's something on your mind that you're not telling me," she countered patiently. He smiled tiredly and cast a quick glance back into the room. He could sense the presence of another one of Anzu's little devices.

"Nothing that can't wait…" he replied resignedly pulling her close and they wrapped their arms around each other once more. Amelia frowned…

"They're not listening…" she began but she was uncertain. Her handmaidens were sometimes a little too determined! Especially Yuffie and Anzu!

"So maybe they're watching?" he countered unable to keep a little teeny bit of bitterness from creeping into his voice. Amelia squeezed him a little tighter.

"I'm sorry Amelia…It doesn't matter… It's nothing that can't wait," he reassured her as he held her tight. He kissed her deeply then not caring anymore who was watching or listening. He wanted her to know somehow just how much he needed her. Their kiss came to an abrupt halt as Anzu approached timidly to inform Amelia that she and the rest of the girls would be downstairs waiting for her.

Zel studied her with suspicion. He wondered whether she managed to create a device that could listen from all the way down there. The girl blushed guiltily and then curtsied and fled the balcony. Amelia smiled at him but the suspicious look on his face didn't go away right away. At the rate this whole thing was spiraling out of control he figured he'd have to take Amelia to another world in order to get some privacy!

"That's it!" he suddenly exclaimed. Amelia looked confused for a moment.

"Amelia, tomorrow when I go to Carealot to get the Care family why don't you come with me!" he suggested excitement lighting his eyes again. She smiled enthusiastically.

"What a great idea! Yes! We'll leave after breakfast! We'll stay all morning at least!" Amelia enthused; her good cheer restored. Zel smiled with his confidence restored. He kissed her again looking forward eagerly to tomorrow…

Lina and Gourry were the only ones to come to breakfast with them. Martina and Zangalus decided on spending time with the children before she had to go and attended to her duties. Filia and Val were having breakfast in town with Capt. Kaiba and his little brother Mokuba. It was a minor miracle that the man was actually taking part of the morning off. Very likely Val and Mokuba ganged up on him and guilted him into it! Sylphiel was spending an awful lot of time with Lord Dincht so once again she had not come around for breakfast. As Zelgadis sat down to have breakfast with his friends he envied Sylphiel and Zell for a second.

'Yea…I bet nobody spies on them!' Brau commented crossly.

'He's so lucky…he gets to spend all kinds of time with his love and nobody bothers him,' Golem added envious. He had seen the goofy-happy look on Zell Dincht's face yesterday when he was working out with the rest of the guys. Once he was done he had rushed away without even talking to anyone. Not even his best friends Squall and Cloud!

His week seemed to hit rock bottom then. Gourry had left to go shopping with Lina and Zangalus went to collect his kids from the daycare center and go spend some time with them. Squall and Cloud left to find their wives and he was left all alone. Gen. Walker invited him to go have lunch with him and Commander Trebek but Zelgadis had politely declined.

He figured the general was just trying to be polite perhaps because he realized that with Amelia busy with her duties Zel had been completely left out. But pride aside he really didn't feel like having his brain picked apart by Walker and his commanders. By now Zel had realized that Walker was just helping Phil out in determining how good Zel would be for both Saillune and Amelia. A sensible thing to be sure any good father would do but Zel was sick and tired of having to watch his back constantly and monitoring carefully everything he said and heard!

He had instead locked himself in the library trying not to be angry and feel sorry for him self. The librarian had been more accommodating than usual and let him have her office so that he would have some privacy. He had skipped lunch and spent nearly all day browsing through thick volumes of Saillune history. If the librarian hadn't come to remind him of the dinner he was supposed to attend that evening with Phil and Amelia he would've spent the rest of the evening there brooding silently.

Amelia was to meet Martina and several other princesses for another meeting with the Prime Minister today. Then there were other obligations she would have to see to. She had a pretty full schedule! Zel decided that he would go find something to do on his own until tonight. The palace guards were throwing Amelia a birthday party and Zel was actually looking forward to it. Unlike all the stuffy balls and luncheons he had to suffer through this week he knew that party would actually be cool!

The palace guards were legendary with their parties and Zel actually preferred them. Mind you getting an invite to this party was not easy! If you were not cool you were not invited. It didn't matter how rich or high-born you were. If you were not a fun person you were not allowed in. Period! They had the best food according to Lina and as far as he was concerned the most easy going atmosphere. That party was the talk this morning at the table! Well he was talking because as usual Lina Gourry and Amelia were ravaging the breakfast table…

Much too soon did breakfast come to an end. He figured that before anyone realized that he was yet again being left out he would leave the palace. Pity was something he could not stand! Excessive pride is a broody boy's greatest fault after all so he made sure he would be the first to leave! Most of the prince-lings had left so he need not worry about Amelia. Capt. Kaiba's men would take good care of her while he was gone.

Only Charmles, Pavan and a few others had remained to save face by joining Amelia's committee for the formation of a formal league of nations. Gaston and Akmed had of course remained under the pretense of the league but Zel knew it was to continue attempting to settle their bet! Amelia was in no danger. He was their target and he knew she could take good care of herself. He decided he'd pay a visit to the Ingalls. He pulled Amelia aside and let her know where he was going. He gave her a kiss goodbye promising to see her tonight at the guard's party and teleported directly from Amelia's balcony to the front gate of Farmer John's house.

"Master Zelgadis!" Little Laura called out cheerfully as she spotted him. The stone fence she and her brothers had been building looked like it had finally been completed. As Laura called out for her parents and her brothers he instantly began to feel the stress of the past few days melting away. He ruffled the little girl's hair and allowed himself to be mobbed by her and her brothers. Their mother invited him to accompany them to the fields and he gladly went along. He figured a little manual labor would be just the thing to release some of this tension built up inside him.

"Can you teach me a new spell Master Zelgadis?" Laura asked hopeful. He smiled and patted her on the head.

"Sure Laura! After we help in the fields," he replied surprising him self with the soft paternal tone that came out of his mouth.

'Why does it surprise you Zel? She's a piece of us,' Brau reasoned calmly. It was true! In order to create Laura's new body Zel used a portion of him self so technically you could say Laura was their little child too. He smiled as the little girl jumped around happily and hurried off into the corn fields with her siblings. Her father was already out in the fields and he waved cheerfully at Zel. He trotted up to join them feeling at peace as he took up a place in the Ingall's routine…

Amelia sighed as Zel disappeared from her balcony. Once more she'd be stuck with all the preparations and paperwork required for her coronation along with all her other duties while Zel would be off somewhere where she couldn't reach him. It was frustrating! But despite all that she could say she was having the best week of her life! Her idea for the League of Nations was starting to take off. All her friends had gathered for her 21st birthday and Zel was the most awesome boyfriend a girl could ask for!

He was charming, considerate, exotically handsome and a great kisser…sigh…Not to mention smart! After all daddy had been going on and on about how well Zel could word fence with the oldest and sneakiest of politicians! And Gen. Walker and his commanders were impressed with his ability to strategize on the spot! He could side swipe even the most determined of journalists, dodge the most eager lobbyists and he was a very eloquent public speaker according to the headmaster at the academy.

'He's perfect!' she sighed wishing she could've gone with him… She envied Sylphiel and that distracted dreamy look on her face yesterday morning. She had a hard time hiding her jealousy as Zell Dincht showed up and Sylphiel gladly skipped away with him. However because of her hectic schedule she hardly got to spend any time with her Zel and when they were alone he was so…passive! She had listened with a touch of envy as her girl friends discussed some of the intimacies they shared with their men.

She wanted to do those things with Zel too! She wanted him to more aggressive and at first she thought he was just too much of a gentleman to make those kinds of bold moves! This morning she finally realized why he wasn't and she could kick herself for not noticing sooner! How can you get "physical" with someone who is spied on 24/7? Of course she should've realized what Zel was capable of especially after that memorable – yet rudely interrupted – incident in the storage closet of her office. Tonight she would fix that!

Zel returned late that evening. He had skipped the formal dinner and instead ate with the Ingalls. He teleported into his room to wash up and change there would be no ball to attend tonight so he chose his most comfortable outfit and shoes. Again not one of Raven's creations! He left his room and headed straight for Amelia's room. Lina, Gourry and Filia were there and the rest of his friends would meet them at the party.

When they arrived at the academy's auditorium the party was already in full swing. He pulled Amelia into the dance floor right away and they happily threw themselves into the cheerful frenzy!

'Tomorrow!' he affirmed to himself. Golem and Brau echoed his affirmation. Yes tomorrow he would explain everything! After all what better place to share his feelings than in place that exists solely for that very purpose: To help people share their feelings. He had a good feeling about tomorrow!

In the immortal words of Lionel Richie: "There's a party goin' on right here! A celebration to last throughout the year...Celebrate good times come on!" Yea right like it's ever that easy when you're dealing with a broody boy! They can be such a pain in the patella!

Well whatever! In any event…

LET'S PARTAY! WHOO HOOO!

Thanks for reading and reviewing!

Now on to the next chapter!