She didn't spend as long fretting over clothes, because she had Jarvis tell her what Pepper and Natasha were planning on wearing, and planned her outfit accordingly. Jarvis also told her that Tony spent a good deal of time talking Thor out of wearing his full armour, including the helmet, which Miranda was glad for. Thor in full armour made her nervous, because it seemed like he was itching for a fight, and having his hammer around certainly did not allay her fears.
She settled on a dark green dress that revealed just the right amount of cleavage, and allowed her to not have to shave her upper legs. Because honestly, it was winter, and she wasn't going to go to all that trouble if no one was going to see them.
Ron wore a nice shirt and trousers that weren't jeans, so she counted that as a win.
When they arrived, gift bags in hand, most of the other guests were already there. There were the usual Avengers, of course, Tony in an expensive looking suit, Pepper at his side supervising him in a gorgeous blue dress. Miranda envied her. Bruce and Clint were both wearing purple dress shirts, but where Clint's was light, Bruce's was dark, nearly black. Thor still had a cloak on, but he was wearing Midgardian dress, not Asgardian, which was impressive. The woman he was clinging to like his life depended on it, who must have been the Lady Jane, was wearing a long purple gown that looked foreign, and Miranda wondered briefly where she got it. The one who must have been Darcy was poking at Thor and beaming at him, looking fantastic in a dark blue dress that didn't go anywhere near her knees. There was an older man hovering near them, and he must have been the scientist. He wore a shirt and a tie, and a kilt of all things. Miranda didn't think he was Scottish, going by his name, which was something unusual, but she couldn't be sure. Agent Coulson wasn't there yet, but Director Fury was, in his usual black leather. Another surprise was that Maria Hill was there as well, looking stunning in red. She was speaking in low tones to Natasha, who was wearing a black dress that could no doubt hide at least three weapons.
There was a small mountain of presents, both in gift bags and wrapped boxes, next to the artfully decorated tree that Pepper had spent most of the previous day decorating. Miranda tugged Ron by his sleeve, and pulled him along with her as she set her bags down next to the pile.
"My favourite non-nurse lady," Tony exclaimed, and she rolled her eyes. He'd called her a nurse once, and she nearly bit his head off, and spent half an hour drawing a chart to detail how an emergency care practitioner was different from a nurse, especially considering she was a paramedic first. He made sure to never make that mistake again.
"Tony," she said graciously. "I'm glad you've managed to not set yourself on fire."
Last she'd seen of Tony, he was in his lab, and she was dropping off food and water to make sure he didn't pass out before the party. He was working on developing something that involved pyrotechnics, and she backed slowly out of the lab before she could become a casualty.
"It was no big deal," he said, waving a hand. "Dum-E handled it."
She narrowed her eyes at him. "Tony Stark-"
"I'm kidding," he said, rolling his eyes. "Believe me, Dum-E is not that good. Besides Jarvis is a big tattle tale. Did you bring me presents?" he asked, eyeing the bags she'd just set down.
She feigned confusion. "I thought we weren't supposed to?"
He made puppy-dog eyes at her. "Oh, come on, you know just as well as anyone that it was a total lie. Pepper made me do it."
Pepper swatted him on the arm with one impeccably manicured hand.
"I stand corrected, it was entirely true," Tony backpedalled.
She rolled her eyes at him. Ron had wandered off and was speaking to the man in the kilt, and Agent Coulson still hadn't arrived with Fitzsimmons, so she had nothing better to do than humour Tony.
"Yes, there is a present in that pile for you," she cooed. "But only if you're very good, and don't horrendously insult anyone until we open them."
"But-" he protested. "I've already started drinking!" He held up his glass pitifully.
Miranda shrugged. "I can always keep it. Or, you can make me a drink, and I'll think on it."
Tony's eyes narrowed. "You drive a hard bargain. But I think I can convince you."
She beamed, and he sauntered off to the bar to mix her a drink.
In the meantime, Agent Coulson showed up, with his scientist, no, scratch that, scientists, in tow.
Fitzsimmons, it turned out, was actually two separate people. Leo Fitz and Jemma Simmons, both scientists with SHIELD.
Bless them, they were both British. Fitz was wearing an oversized jumper with a pair of nice trousers, and Simmons was wearing a blouse and dress pants. Coulson was in his trademark suit. Miranda didn't think she'd seen him wearing anything but a suit.
Apparently with their arrival, Tony decided it was time for food, and shepherded them all to the dining room where the table was laid out like it was the bloody last feast.
Tony had ordered in, since he seemed to be unable to cook. From experience, Miranda knew that letting Tony in a kitchen was a bad idea. That was what led her to treating burns. Not fun. The other Avengers had varying degrees of skill, but none of them would have wanted to cook for so many people, so takeaway it was.
Tony, being Tony, had ordered the widest variety of food known to man, ranging all the way from traditional 'American' food like pizza and fries, all the way to the shawarma he seemed so fond of, and everything in between.
Plates were provided for everyone to pile their food on, except for Thor and Steve, who were given platters. Miranda admired Tony's thoughtfulness.
When everyone had heaping plates of food, and they were all seated somewhere in the giant living room, whether on the couch, in various armchairs, on furniture, or on other people's laps, Tony began passing out presents like a super rich attractive Santa Claus. He passed out his presents first, which were brand new, top of the line Stark Pads.
"Specially engineered to withstand super soldiers, lightning wielding gods, green fists, acid spills, falls from heights, and smashing." He looked at each of the offending individuals as he spoke. They managed to not look miffed, except for Steve, who always looked vaguely guilty at any mention of him breaking things. She figured it was a Depression thing.
No one mentioned how each Stark Pad was individually designed, like Clint's featuring arrows, and Miranda's with little stethoscopes. Even Ron's was decorated, and Tony couldn't have spent more than five minutes in a room alone with him, if that.
Fitz and Simmons seemed utterly in awe that Tony gave them anything, let alone personalized Stark Pads. Miranda remembered the email Tony sent out, clearly stating that he wouldn't be giving gifts to the other guests, which apparently was a load of bullshit. Tony was like that.
He passed out everyone else's gifts after, moving on from his gifts and all the praise and thanks he was getting from everyone. Tony seemed allergic to genuine admiration, for all that he seemed incredibly self centred and narcissistic. She wasn't a psychiatrist, which was lucky for Tony, because he'd be diagnosed with a dozen different things by now.
Natasha had gone for the socks angle, which made Miranda incredibly grateful for not doing that. Natasha's choices were rather inspired though, and personalized. Fuzzy socks with unicorns for Clint, which he seemed genuinely amused by. Fury received black socks. Natasha pointed out that embroidered on them, also in black, were tiny bulldogs. Coulson received socks with lines and lines of text, which Miranda assumed was paperwork. Even Fitzsimmons received socks, with obscure scientific references that she didn't understand.
Clint went for gag gifts, getting pretty much everyone Hawkeye pants, which she didn't even know they made. She'd seen the other Avengers lingerie before, but had never seen Hawkeye. Miranda had faced the fact a while ago that Hawkeye seemed to be the least marketable Avenger. The kicker was the delivery method. He shot the tightly wrapped gifts at each of them.
"Something small, with a side of heart attack," he said cheerfully, while everyone else glared at him between ducking behind sofas and avoiding arrows. The tips of the arrows were blunted, and Miranda knew how good of a shot Clint was, but she still didn't want to risk it.
Bruce gave gift cards that were carefully tailored to every person's interests. Darcy received iTunes, which she seemed thrilled with, and muttered something under her breath about men in black.
Thor had gone for Asgardian food, and when he'd brought it all back, Miranda couldn't say, but there it was. He mostly brought desserts, cakes and biscuits and the like. They looked very interesting, if somewhat dangerous. She wasn't sure she'd be sampling all of them, at least, not until Tony had run some tests.
There were also pyjamas, an assortment of weapons, office supplies, slippers, and gloves in there, all from various people, to varying levels of seriousness.
Her gifts were near the end of the pile, so when Tony finally handed them out, she was feeling rather inadequate. Still, they seemed pleased with their scoodies, and the design that each of them received. She'd pondered a long time over whether she should give each of them themselves, and finally ended up buying one of each, to be decided later. It was more of a last minute, spur of the moment thing that she decided who would be getting who, and she thought it turned out for the best.
Natasha ended up with a Hawkeye one, Clint ended up with a Black Widow one, Thor received a Thor one (mostly so he'd stopping wearing his helmet indoors), Bruce received a Hulk one, Steve got an Iron Man one, and Tony got a Captain America one.
They all seemed ridiculously pleased, which could have been the alcohol.
"What is it?" Clint asked, turning it around in his hands, like the answer would reveal itself to him.
"It's a combination of a hood and a scarf," Miranda explained.
Thor put his on triumphantly, beaming. "A fine garment!" he declared. "Most suitable for the Midgardian weather as of late."
Clint smirked as Natasha slipped hers on. "It's a good look," he noted, popping his own hood on.
Natasha rolled her eyes at his theatrics, but Miranda noted that she ran her fingers lovingly over the H on the top of the hood, and smiled slightly to herself.