The next two weeks were wonderful. Jane seemed back to her normal self. Rather than staging stilted, overly-romantic dates, they had mundane evenings in most weeknights and tried to explore new things they were both interested in on weekends. Coming up with ideas proved to be an exercise in compromise.
Looking down at Boston from the basket of a hot air balloon, Maura was glad she had talked Jane out of her original proposal. Maura wasn't acrophobic – she just didn't believe throwing oneself out of an airplane was the wisest way to spend a Saturday. But she thoroughly enjoyed the peacefulness of floating through the air. Once she got used to the noise.
Jane looked like a kid in a candy store as she pointed out the landmarks she could recognize. Maura was thrilled Jane could be so open in her delight. Gone was the artificiality of their first date. This is what being together should be like, Maura thought. Having fun, enjoying new experiences with someone you cared about. She hadn't even been struggling with the physical element of their relationship. It was nice to build a foundation without the complication of sex getting in the way.
The metaphorical high that had accompanied the literal one didn't even last through the drive home. Instead, it gave way to their first fight.
Jane had spent time with her family without Maura since they began dating, and Maura tried to be understanding. Jane would downplay the events, insisting it was just a low-key dinner or that she would just be stopping by to drop something off, and Maura let her. She didn't want to push for Jane to tell her family anything she wasn't comfortable with. But Angela's birthday party was scheduled for that evening, and it was something Jane would have invited her to when they were just friends. Maura was tired of not pushing and made her displeasure known.
"Explain to me again why I can't come to your mother's party." Maura hated the high-pitched tone of her voice, but she was committed to pinning Jane down on the issue for once.
"I told you, it'll just be a few extended family members eating lame cake and making uncomfortable small talk." Jane's eyes cut over to Maura and then back to the road.
"If you don't want me there, just say it, but don't lie to me. Frankie said half the neighborhood was coming. He assumed I would be there." Maura was equal parts mad and hurt.
Jane opened her mouth as though she was going to answer, but then reconsidered. She took a breath and held it. Exhaling loudly, she ran her hand through her hair.
"I just –" Jane began. "I can't –" she tried again. Finally, she gave Maura a pleading look. Maura felt no temptation to let her off the hook.
"I don't think I can be with you around my family and have them not figure things out. My mother would know in an instant things have changed between us." Jane stopped, as though that explained things.
Still unclear on Jane's thoughts on openly dating a woman, Maura was hardly satisfied with the answer. "Would that be so bad? Are you planning on us dating indefinitely but keeping me away from all family gatherings? Because I'm not okay with that."
"Oh, so you've told your parents we're together? We'll be summering with them in their house in the south of France?" Jane apparently thought the best defense was a good offense.
Maura was determined to have the victory, even if it was a pyrrhic one. "Fine. If it'll get you to let me come to the party, I'll call my mother and tell her about us right now." She pulled out her phone.
Jane turned her head to make eye contact briefly, and for a moment Maura thought she would be forced to go through with it. But Jane shook her head.
"I won't call your bluff. But don't think that's the last word on this issue. It's not fair of you to push me to do something with my family you haven't done with yours."
Maura considered. They should have had this conversation weeks ago, when there wasn't a deadline looming
"Okay. We clearly have more to talk about on this subject. But I didn't ask you to tell your family about us – I just asked to come to an event your friend Maura would have come to. You're the one acting like it would be the end of the world. For as much as I've participated in your family's activities, wouldn't your mom find it odd if I didn't come?"
As they stopped at a red light, Jane rested her forehead against the steering wheel. She sat up and gave Maura that desperate look again.
"It's not you – and it's not us. You know my mom. She's always trying to set me up with any available man. And she wants grandchildren like she needs air. I'm not ready to deal with her reaction to all this." The light turned green, and Jane turned her eyes back to the road.
"I understand. I really do. I just wish you had talked to me about this instead of putting me off. Maybe your mom will figure things out if she sees us together and maybe she won't, but now there's no opportunity to do this on your terms. She's going to grill you if I don't come, and if I do you're going to spend the whole time being paranoid. Chances are your odd behavior will be the thing that clues her in." Maura had a sneaking suspicion Angela wouldn't be all that surprised however she found out, but she wasn't sure Jane was ready to hear that. Then again, maybe it would help.
"Great. Apparently I'm coming out to my mother today." Jane pulled up to the curb in front of her apartment. The fact that she had driven there instead of dropping Maura off was a positive sign. Morbid fascination with Angela's reaction aside, Maura really did want to be there to support Jane if she needed it. If she got to see everything firsthand, what was the harm in that?
"Coming out, you say?" Maura asked as they got out of the car. She decided if they were finally going to rip the band-aid off, so to speak, of the family issue they may as well deal with the label issue also. "Coming out as what? Lesbian? Bisexual? A straight woman who couldn't resist this one beautiful medical examiner?" Smiling at Jane, she hoped the rest of their conversation wouldn't be as tense as it started. Working through challenges together was one thing, but out-and-out fighting was another. Especially when she knew there would be no make-up sex.
"Geez, Maura. I thought you of all people would be against labels. Why does telling someone I'm dating a woman have to mean anything more than that?" They entered the building and Jane pressed the button for the elevator.
"Fine. Maybe I'm curious. We haven't talked at all about what our relationship means in the broader context of our lives. It's been wonderful to be alone together, but after awhile it's not sustainable. We either have to consciously hide the nature of our interactions or learn how to be a couple around our friends and family. I, for one, am not in favor of hiding, and I didn't take you for someone who would be either."
"I'm not afraid, if that's what you think." Jane leaned against the elevator wall opposite Maura, her arms folded across her chest. "Or ashamed." Her expression softened. "I just don't like putting my business out there."
The elevator stopped and they exited. As they walked down the hall, Maura thought about Jane's words. She wasn't close with her family and had few friends. Her co-workers were the people she spent most of her time with, and she didn't have a problem with them knowing she and Jane were together. Like Angela, Maura thought most of them wouldn't be surprised. In fact, there were probably a few who would only be shocked by the fact that they hadn't been together longer.
But Jane was different. She was a private person in a prying family, and she felt some need to prove she was more than a stereotype. Hoping most of the real issues were Jane's own and not the people's around her, Maura believed the hurdle wasn't insurmountable. A positive reaction from even one person might help Jane relax.
Once in the apartment, Maura led Jane to the armchair and sat down on the end of the next to her. The party was in two hours – she hoped that was long enough to calm Jane down and make a decision about her family. Where to start? Perhaps the very beginning.
"Jane, tell me about the first person you dated. What was he like? What did your family think?"
Jane gave her a funny look but started talking. "I was a senior in high school. He was the son of a friend of my mom's. I hadn't been interested in dating – I was busy playing basketball or running track. But prom was coming up, and my mom was desperate for her only daughter not to miss all the hoopla. You know I love driving Ma crazy, but it meant so much to her. Bobby Gianetti had been asking me out for weeks – probably at the behest of both of our mothers – so I finally said yes. Ma took me shopping for a big poofy dress and made me get my hair done."
Maura smiled at the image. "I'm sure you looked lovely."
"I looked ridiculous. But in the end the whole thing was kind of fun. Lame, but still fun. We went with a friend of mine from the basketball team and her date. So afterwards Bobby and I kept seeing each other. Mostly double dates with Katie and Mike. My mom was thrilled. She was always inviting Bobby over for dinner and asking him tons of personal questions. He was nice enough, but he went off to college and I stayed at home for junior college. Ma was devastated when we broke up. But overall I think she was relieved I had dated anyone at all. She was concerned I was asexual or something."
"I know the feeling," Maura muttered under her breath.
"What?" Jane asked.
"Never mind. Tell me who came next," Maura encouraged.
Jane blushed and ducked her head. "There was this girl. Diane." She looked back up at Maura with a wry smile. "In my English 101 class. She had her own apartment and we used to study together. One night we kissed. It was totally different than kissing Bobby. I felt so much more in that one kiss than I did in all the fooling around I did with him."
Maura felt an odd combination of relief and jealousy. "I had no idea. What happened next?"
"A couple of days later I was in my criminology class and the professor started going off on 'dyke cops.' How you have to watch out for them because they only want to bust the balls of their male co-workers and sleep with the innocent straight females ones. It felt like everyone in the room was looking at me while he was talking." Jane rested her elbows on her knees. "Maura, all I ever wanted to be was a cop. And just as I was waking up to these feelings about Diane I find out they might hurt my chances of a career."
"Jane, I'm so sorry. I hate that you felt like you couldn't be yourself." Maura held Jane's hand and gave it a squeeze. "So what did you do?"
Jane sat back and sighed. "I'm not proud of it. Basically, I stopped talking to Diane and threw myself into getting the best grades I could so I could get into the academy. She called a bunch at first. Ma wondered what was up. I never explained anything to Diane – I just cut her off. It's horrible. I was a total chicken."
"You were young, Jane. And prejudice is hard to deal with at any age. But I hope you don't think Frost or Korsak or even the lieutenant would have a problem with you being with a woman. They'd probably be jealous."
Jane managed a small smile. "Deep down, I know that. But that's because they know me, and they know you. But what about everyone else? What if that's all anyone thinks about – hey, there's that lesbo-cop. I bet she pees standing up and secretly hates men." Jane looked agitated.
"Jane. Honey. I know you've heard plenty of negative comments from your colleagues about lesbians. And I don't mean to downplay that. But it's 2011. Same-sex couples have been getting married in Massachusetts for seven years. BPD marched in the pride parade this year."
Jane folded her arms across her chest. "Knowing it in my head and living through it are two different things."
"So what about your family? What do you believe in your head about how they'll react? I know getting from here to there may not be something you're looking forward to, but they love you. For all you squabble, there's so much love among you I can't imagine anything changing that."
"I've just never talked about that kind of stuff with my family. Pop doesn't seem all that interested. If I'm happy, he's happy, and that's all there is to it. Tommy was too busy with his own problems to get into my business. And Frankie loves to tease me, but I can handle him. But Ma, Ma's going to make some huge deal out of it. Whatever she feels about it, it's going to be all she can talk about. I don't want to deal with that, and I don't want to put you through it."
"I think your mom is great. She's the polar opposite of mine, and I love that. She's already welcomed me into your family." Maura decided it wasn't speculating if there was indirect evidence to support her theory. "Don't you think maybe there's a chance she even already suspects?" she posited.
Jane looked stunned. "But I've never said anything or done anything that would give her that impression."
Maura's expression was incredulous. "Jane. Really? She's your mother – don't they say mothers always know? And you remember that conversation we had about all the things we used to do that regular old best friends don't do? Don't you think she noticed some of those things?"
Jane's expression now held a measure of hope.
"What did you say about how your mom treated your first boyfriend – she invited him over to dinner all the time and asked him lots of personal questions? Think about how your mom interacts with me."
Jane nodded. "She invites you over to dinner all the time and asks you lots of personal questions."
Maura's eyes were triumphant. "Exactly. So maybe showing up together at this party will be no big deal, even if your mom does get the confirmation you think she will. Sure, maybe she'll be dramatic about it, but she's dramatic about everything."
Jane laughed ruefully. "True. With any luck Tommy'll come home in the next couple of days and she can freak out about him."
It seemed Jane had come around to the idea of telling her family about their relationship, but Maura never liked to assume. "So what do you want to do tonight?" she asked, looking into Jane's eyes.
Jane took a deep breath. "Come with me to the party. Ma won't make a scene with everyone there, but we'll stick around until they all leave and talk to her and Pop and Frankie." Jane's look of resignation softened into one of devotion. "I need you to believe this was never about anything having to do with you. This is about me and my issues and my wacky family. You – you're the best thing that's ever happened to me, and I'm trying so hard not to screw that up."
Maybe too hard. Maura sighed internally, trying to keep her outward appearance one of patience. She really did understand at least the root of some of Jane's issues, as she called them. Her family, her profession – they didn't contribute to healthy relationships. But at some point Jane was going to have to get it together and trust other people, Maura especially. What Jane saw as being thoughtful or protective was starting to feel like condescension.
"If this is going to work, you've got to talk to me about why you're doing what you're doing. I've spent the past few months trying to figure out if you were ever going to tell anyone anything about us," Maura admitted.
Jane threw up her hands. "Why didn't you just ask me? You've never held back your opinion before, so I assumed your silence on the subject meant maybe you didn't want them to know. Maybe you didn't want to deal with the repercussions. And it's not like you were shouting about us from the rooftops."
Maura stifled her instinct to immediately deny any blame in the situation, but she took a breath and reconsidered. Long-term, she wouldn't allow Jane to use her natural aversion to all things relationship as an excuse not to speak up, but she had to acknowledge she hadn't done her part to ensure clarity of understanding.
"It seems we've been here before, in the short time we've been together. Neither one of us brings up the questions or concerns we're having, and it leads to misunderstanding. It's not uncommon for people in new relationships to focus on the positive and avoid anything that could lead to a disagreement. Perhaps I took for granted that the foundation of our friendship would help us avoid those missteps. We may have made improvements in some areas of our interactions, such as how we spend our recreational time. But there are elements to a romantic relationship that aren't present in a platonic one, and we haven't successfully figured out how to navigate those."
Jane looked uncomfortable. "So what do you suggest, Dr. Isles? Couples counseling?"
"As effective as I believe such interventions can be, I don't think we're in need of those services quite yet." Maura tried to soften the clinical tone she had slipped into. "We just need to trust each other more. You need to trust that I care about you and want this relationship to work, no matter the issues we face, and I need to trust that I can bring up anything and you won't be scared off."
Jane relaxed a bit. "Do I throw off that bad of an anti-processing-feelings vibe that you're worried I'll run away? I'm not the best at bringing things up, and I promise I'll work on that, but please don't think you're going to scare me out of this relationship. I'm still a little stunned you want to be in it with me, but there's no way I'm going to push you away. At least, not on purpose."
"I suppose I've never been that successful in relationships myself, so it's unfair of me to act as though I'm an expert," Maura admitted. "Let's promise to confide in each other like we always have, and I'm sure we can get through anything."
"Including my mother finding out we're together?" Jane was smiling, which was really the answer itself.
"Absolutely."
Jane was becoming more and more agitated as the party went on, and not because she was concerned someone would find out the nature of their relationship.
"Geez, Maura, did you put on some kind of extra-special man-magnet perfume this morning?" she muttered out of the corner of her mouth as they stood next to each other in the crowded living room. "I know you're hot, but you have to admit this many guys hitting on you is unprecedented."
The latest in a string of Jane's cousins and the Rizzoli's neighbors had just accepted Maura's polite decline of an offer to refresh her beverage.
Maura looked across the room to see Mrs. Rizzoli watching them. She tilted her head in a questioning gesture, and Angela winked in response. Interesting. And a little absurd. As much as she enjoyed the Angela's warmth and openness in contrast to her own mother's, Maura suddenly became conscious that she really was a meddlesome woman. And that Jane's inability to speak about something directly was most likely a result of being raised by someone who would rather jump to conclusions than ask a question. And that if she and Jane stayed together, Angela would become more and more involved in their lives.
Oh dear. Maybe Jane was right to want to keep things just between us. Maura took a deep breath. "You're right, Jane. It must be frustrating for you to have to endure this. Perhaps we should just say our goodbyes and leave now. In fact, I don't think anyone would mind if we just slipped out – we've already spoken with Frankie and your dad and wished your mother a happy birthday."
Jane did a double-take. "What? We had a big fight this afternoon because I wasn't going to take you to this party and now you want to leave before the big moment? I was this close to planting one on you to get Cousin Gary to go away." She narrowed her eyes. "Wait a second. All these guys talking to you – did Ma put them up to that? She already knows, doesn't she? And she's just trying to force me into admitting it. Her old plan of pushing guys on me didn't work, so now she's pushing them on you. Sneaky." She shook her head. "But why does that bother you? I thought you were all for getting things out in the open and you couldn't wait to witness the whole scene."
Maura remembered her promise to be honest but didn't think that meant it needed to be the brutal kind. "Well, I thought, perhaps, a little more time to keep things just between us would be nice. Why involve other people when we're still figuring out how to be a couple?" She hoped her tone sounded sincere.
No luck. Such were the perils of dating a police officer. Jane snorted. "You realized how much my mom interferes and decided maybe you weren't so keen on inviting that into your life."
Rather than retreating into the cautious shell she had been hiding behind before, Maura's discomfort seemed to embolden Jane. She put her arm around Maura's shoulder. "Nope, you're not getting off the hook. If we're together, that means you get to share my pain in dealing with my mom. My whole family, for that matter. Maybe I should go ahead and make the big announcement before everyone leaves."
Maura's eyes widened. She was certain Jane wasn't bluffing. What a roller coaster of a day. From the high of the balloon ride to the dip of their fight, back up to the shared decision to come out, and now down to the realization that she might be in over her head, Maura wasn't sure what else could be in store for them.
"No, no. I think we should just stick to the original plan. We'll talk to your family once the party ends. That will be drama enough." Nervous as she suddenly was, she smiled up at Jane. This was the person she fell for – someone whose confidence made her that much sexier. Maybe this would be for the best.
An hour later, Jane was washing dishes in the kitchen while Maura dried them. Dishpan hands were not ideal for a medical examiner, Maura claimed. Angela was at the door saying goodbye to the last guest, and Frankie and Frank were picking up beer bottles from the living room.
"Last chance for both of us to back out," Jane said to Maura as she handed her the plate she had just rinsed. Her tone was sincere, but her face still held the expression of amusement it had since Maura tried to convince her to escape.
Maura considered. Earlier in the day she would have been mad at Jane for trying to weasel out of what they had agreed on, but now she appreciated Jane's consideration of her own anxiety.
She looked into Jane's eyes. "No. This is for the best. For us to move forward as a couple and for you to be able to be open with your family. It's going to be fine. I'm sure your mother won't –" Maura hesitated. "I'm sure she'll be – "
"Stop trying to be tactful. She'll be a nosy nuisance, but it'll be OK. Better for her to bug us about something new instead of the same old why-can't-you-find-a-man nonsense." A devilish grin appeared on Jane's face. "Besides, I'm looking forward to messing with my mom. Follow my lead when she comes in."
Maura gave Jane an appraising look but decided to let her handle the situation however she wanted. "I'll do my best," she said as she went back to drying dishes.
The Rizzoli men were just finishing bagging the trash when Angela joined them all in the kitchen.
"Great party, Ma," Frankie gave her a hug.
"Thank you for inviting me. It was a lovely event," Maura wasn't sure of Jane's plans, but she wasn't going to suspend her manners while she waited.
"I'm so glad you were able to come." Angela leaned against the counter opposite the sink. Maura detected a slight smirk as she asked, "So, did you meet anyone nice tonight?"
Jane raised her eyebrow at Maura and spoke up. "Ma. You've got to stop throwing men at Maura."
"What?" Angela threw her hands up. "She doesn't deserve a little happiness? Just because you're not interested in any man I introduce you to doesn't mean Maura wouldn't be."
"She's seeing someone." Jane had a smirk of her own.
Angela's face fell but she quickly pasted on a cheery smile.
"Oh. That's great, Maura. Tell me about the lucky guy."
Maura glanced at Jane, who gave a small nod. Perhaps Maura could have a little fun before the drama hit.
"Well, it's a co-worker," she began, "who is tall, with dark hair."
"Hey, it sounds like Frankie," Jane's dad piped in.
Frankie shot an alarmed look at Jane. "Not me. Nope."
"What else, Maura?" Jane's eyes were twinkling.
Maura narrowed her eyes at her girlfriend and continued. "The person I'm dating can be ornery and contrary but has a warm heart and a wonderful family."
"Wait, are you cheating on me?" Jane asked indignantly. "Because that doesn't sound like me at all. Okay, maybe the heart thing, but certainly not the rest of it."
"Very funny, Jane." Angela crossed her arms. "As if you'd ever get up the nerve to ask out Dr. Isles."
Jane raised her eyebrow at Angela and inclined her head towards Maura. "Tell 'em, Doc. Who asked out who?"
"You did. And it's 'whom.'" Maura couldn't help herself.
"Whatever. See Ma, you have to stop trying to set up me or Maura because we're taken. By each other." Jane took a breath and waited for her mother's reaction.
She didn't have to wait long. "It's about freakin' time!" Angela exclaimed. "I thought you'd just pine away forever, didn't I, Frank?" She turned to her husband.
He nodded. "It's true. She kept wanting to intervene, but I convinced her not to."
"All those setups were Ma not intervening? I shudder to think what would have happened if you hadn't held her back, Pop." Jane leaned back against the counter. "So what was the deal with that? If you knew I had feelings for Maura, why did you keep making me go on dates with every man you could think of?"
Angela shrugged. "I figured you'd either find one you liked or be driven so nuts you'd finally admit you really wanted to be with Maura."
"And tonight, with the parade of guidos lining up in front of Maura – what was that?" Jane asked.
"I decided my strategy wasn't working so I came at it from another angle. I just wish I'd have known I'd already achieved success."
"Yeah, Ma. You deserve all the credit for Maura and me getting together."
Jane addressed her brother. "You've been quiet, Frankie. What do you have to say on the subject?"
Frankie punched Jane lightly in the arm. "Way to go, sis. And Korsak owes me five dollars."
"What? You and Korsak talked about my love life?" She turned to Maura. "See, I told you the whole work thing would be a nightmare."
Maura opened her mouth to speak for the first time since the Rizzolis began processing, but Jane had already turned back to Frankie. "What did you guys say?"
Frankie looked abashed. "Just, you know, how you two were always together. And how you give each other these puppy dog looks."
Frankie flinched as Jane backhanded him in the stomach. "Hey!"
"Hey yourself! I don't know what you're talking about. Maura, back me up."
Maura thought back to all those moments she and Jane shared and decided the looks between them could have been categorized as "puppy dog."
"Sorry, Jane. I think he's right."
"Traitor. Still, why were my brother and ex-partner discussing this anyway?"
"Technically, your current partner was discussing it too. And, for the record, Frost thought you two were together as soon as he started working with you."
"Good grief. How do any of you get any work done when you're gossiping like girls?"
"Enough!" Angela broke in. "This is something to celebrate, so stop arguing. Maura, welcome to the family. Officially, since I feel like you've been a part of us for awhile."
Maura accepted the hug Angela offered. It was a genuine embrace, not like the air kisses she got from her own mother on the rare occasions they saw each other anymore. Mrs. Rizzoli may have been on the opposite end of the spectrum than Mrs. Isles in terms of involvement in her children's lives, but it was nice to feel really cared about.
She almost reconsidered when the next words out of Angela's mouth were "So, how soon can I expect grandbabies?"