A/N: I thought I should add that this story will contain spoilers for several episodes from season two and the ending for season one. And also if you haven't watched season two you might feel confused at times.
And I got my first review, so excited! Please keep them coming it would totally make my day
Chapter 3: Whatever Keeps You Up At Night
It happens again another night the next week. This time I'm just up surfing the internet and forgetting the time, when I hear her. I walk out into the hall.
"Lacey, where you out again?" I internally kick myself for the obvious question. I don't know what else to say.
"But I don't have a shift 'till two tomorrow, so it's okay right?" Her slurred voice suggests that she is more than tipsy and she's swaying from side to side. She almost falls over and drops her keys. I lean forward and catch her. She regains balance, but doesn't let go of me. Instead she smiles at me and says: "I like these late night encounters." I don't know what to respond. There's something in her eyes, something intense and I look away. "It's okay, right?" She repeats, when I say nothing.
"Sure, I'm just a little… worried." I force myself to look up again.
"Hey, don't worry about me", she says in a soft soothing voice. "It won't interfere with my work, I promise." Her blurry voice makes her words a little muffled, and I don't quite trust them. I don't tell her that though.
"Lacey, are you really okay?" I ask her. She smiles and nods.
"I'm great. A few drinks just make me sleep better that's all. I'm gonna go to bed, see you tomorrow." She gives me that squeeze again and lets me go. I stand in the hall for a while after she's closed the door. I can't shake the feeling of being worried and I don't really take comfort in the fact that she's drinking to help her sleep. Maybe I should suggest she go see Doctor Hopper.
I never do though. The next day she is up and smiling, serving coffee and salads to people. Mary Margaret Blanchard and David Nolan are sitting in a corner looking like a newly made couple, not able to take their eyes of each other. I have rarely talked to Mary Margaret, but I feel like on some level we know each other. I know I barely know her, she a teacher at the school and she's roommate with Emma Swan, the new girl, but other than that I don't know much. Still I feel like we're familiar with one another, in another life maybe, if I believed that stuff. I get that feeling sometimes, like something is wrong. Maybe that's why I've always felt so out of place.
Lacey covers a slight yawn with her sleeve. She sees me watching her, and smiles cheerfully. If I didn't know better I would never suggest she'd been up drinking all night. Of course she did say she only had a couple of drinks. Maybe I'm overreacting. I ask her about it when our shifts are over.
"Can I ask you something Lacey?"
"Sure", she says and sits down on the bench beside me. We're just putting up the last couple of chairs and taking in the sign.
"How do you sleep at night? I mean it's been nearly two months and last night you said that you needed to drink to sleep."
"No, I sleep okay. The drinks do help, but I can sleep without them."
"Because if you couldn't you'd tell me right? I just think that we've gotten, you know, close, so if anything was wrong-"
"-I would tell you. Definitely. And yes I also think we've become close." She smiles, a warm smile with a hint of something I can't quite place. "I'm glad I ran into you that night."
"Me too", I say and return the smile.
Billy turned up at my door a couple of days after asking if I wanted to go out with him. I told him yes because I couldn't see why not, which lead to me sitting here at a restaurant eating a rather fancy meal and listening to Billy talk. He's telling a story about some crazy customer he had the other day.
"So he just starts yelling at me for no reason at all, I mean I changed the tires for free, because sure it was our mistake, but he just won't calm down. He starts going after my friend who just put away the flat ones, yelling like some maniac. So I'm thinking, man or mouse, Billy? And I go for him, I cut him off, throw him out of the shop and… I'm talking too much, aren't I?"
At the change in his voice I swing back into focus.
"What? No no, please tell your story. So you threw him out?"
"Yeah, well", and he goes on to tell what then happened and somehow I lose focus again. I can't even remember what their mistake was in the first place. There is something that bothers me about finding Lacey coming home so late. I mean everyone can forget the time, I do that sometimes myself, but drinking alone? Isn't that supposed to be a bad sign? I don't know how often she does it, but it seems like quite a bit. Maybe I'm overreacting, I mean I have done my fair share of drinking; it evolves into a habit I think.
Still, something I saw in her face worries me.
Billy calls for the bill. He's really a gentleman, won't even let me look at it, but pays for the whole thing. I'm not used to guys treating me so nicely. It used to be 'I buy you a drink, but I'll expect something in return'. Billy just leans over the table, takes my hand and says: "You're really beautiful Ruby."
I smile, not sure what to say. I've taken Lacey's advice of toning the whole outfit down a bit. To Granny's utter relief. I'm starting to feel comfortable in it.
His hand if more rough than Lacey's I notice, but of course a man's hand would be. And he has such a nice face. I sit there, looking at him, smiling at his compliments, somewhat realizing, that that's it. He has a nice face and he's a gentleman. I don't feel anything. I think I used to, but it's gone now. So when he asks me if I want to go for a walk, I say no, using the early shifts as an excuse, even though Granny has made Lacey take half of them. It's cheaper to use us that the few other girls she has working for her. I rarely talk to them, so I don't know what they think of it.
"You know, I have to be up and ready really early. I'm sorry, I probably should have told you this, when you asked me out."
He smiles. I can tell he's a little disappointed, but he tries to hide it. "No, it's okay. At least let me walk you home."
So I let him. I'm about to say goodnight, when he pulls me in and kisses me. In that moment I try all I can to dig out some emotion, search for the kick I'm supposed to get out of this. I think to myself, why can't I just fall for this guy? He's so sweet and gentle, he not an idiot from the bar like former boyfriends, but I still feel nothing.
I'm determined not to let him see my own disappointment, so I smile at him and stroke his arm.
"Night Billy."
"Can I see you again?"
"Um... Sure, we'll figure something out."
He smiles genuinely and the sight stabs me with guilt.
"Good night then Ruby."
I let go of him and walk inside, through the diner. Granny hasn't even gone to sleep yet. She's standing behind the counter, cleaning it like some senior bartender.
"Well, you're home early. You know it's Lacey's early shift, don't you?"
"Yeah I know", I say and try to avoid eye contact. Sometimes she sees right through me and I can't handle a third degree questioning right now. Rather I feel like throwing something. My frustration is building in my gut, and I feel like it might end up suffocating me at some point.
"How was your date?"
"It was great. Night Granny."
"Suit yourself", she says in a low voice, but I hear it and I think she knows. Then she adds: "Good night, Ruby."
"So?"
I'm sitting in the empty, closed diner, looking at Granny's stock counting, when Lacey comes sneaking in.
"So what?"
"Your date with Billy? You decided to see him again?" She sits down in front of me with an expression that tells me I won't get off until she has heard every detail. I'm happy to put down the papers, but I wish she wouldn't talk about Billy. It's hard to talk about something, on which your own feelings are unclear.
"He asked, so I said yes. It was fine."
She is having none of that, so I tell her how we sat in a restaurant and he told me stories from work and I told a few of the diner. I tell her what the place was like and what we ate.
"You don't sound too excited", she says, her eyes still fixated on mine.
I shrug. "I don't know. I guess I don't really feel that kick, you know? It's a shame, because he's such a great guy, I mean he's sweet and all, but… that's it."
"Yeah I get it. Um, I think. It's not like I have a lot to compare with."
"Right, sometimes I forget that you don't have any memories." Honestly, I I'm starting to forget it. At first I thought about it all the time, but now that Lacey has settled in so well and seems so fine I kind of forget. Now I think about the drinking.
"I know, it's weird. But um… Why did you kiss him then? If you don't really feel it?"
"I don't know, I mean, he started it and… I didn't want to upset him."
"You're such a good person Ruby", she tells me with a small smile. Then she gets up.
"Do you want to go out for a few drinks?"
I shake my head. "I might run into him. I told him I had the early shift. Which reminds me, you have the early shift. Sure you should be going out?"
"Oh right", she says shaking her head at herself. "I forgot. Better stay then." So instead we sit and talk until midnight. Despite the fact that Lacey doesn't have that many stories to share she seems to be quite the talker. It's fascinating to hear her speak. I don't think I've ever known anyone with such light in their eyes when they talk. Or with that accent for that matter. It's endearing really and I'm not sure why it fascinates me that much. Either way I let her talk.
A little after midnight we part, but when I lie in my bed ready to sleep I could swear that's the sound of our back door opening. My good ears tell me that Lacey has gone again, but my brain tells me, she said she wouldn't. I'm probably half asleep already, hearing things.