Chapter 4: Welcome To The Rabbit Hole
I hear her coming in again. It wakes me up. I must be listening for it on some subconscious level, because most nights I wake up around four or five and I hear the vague sound of Lacey's footsteps and I know that she's been out again. It's most days in a week now. It can't be about playing pool with the guys anymore and if it's to help her sleep, that wouldn't make it any less disturbing. I don't get up this time even though I want to. Instead I promise myself that I have to make her stop.
The following night the diner is bursting with people, celebrating that Emma has won the run for sheriff. She seems great, Emma, and I'm definitely more content with her as sheriff rather than that Sidney Glass. I think he's like a minion of Regina's; it seems like that when they talk to each other in here. I don't like anything the mayor does really, although we have no proof that it was actually her who locked Lacey up. Regina is almost never in here, only briefly to pick up Henry and she and Lacey have never met. I wonder what would happen if they did? I'm not even sure Lacey would recognize her, but the other way around for sure. Most likely Regina would ignore it; I mean what can she do now, unless she wants to go to prison? I wish I could talk to the guy who freed Lacey, but none of us knows who he is.
Lacey's quiet tonight and as soon as her shift ended she disappeared in her room. Of course she doesn't know the town like Granny and I do, but she doesn't seem to want to either. Not these days anyway. She's too tired from all the drinking maybe.
When the diner clears out and I go check on her, her room is empty. So she has gone already. Early this time. Or maybe she just went for a walk. I ought to give her a change.
The chance lasts a few hours.
The music from The Rabbit Hole is audible all the way from across the street. I've had it. I'm gonna just go in there and tell Lacey to stop with the drinking. I'm gonna take her home and have her explain to me what's going on. I can't deny the problem anymore. The wolf is roaring angrily in my gut, cheering me on.
At the same time I'm somewhat nervous about what I'm going to find.
I walk hesitantly inside and take a look around. Lacey is nowhere to be seen, so I walk up to the bar.
"Good evening, beautiful", the bartender says. First I think that he's a creep, but a second look on his friendly face tells me that he means no offence. He's washing off the counter just as I always imagine them do in stereotype.
"Hi, I'm… Looking for someone."
"You're gonna have to be a little more specific there, beautiful", he says and pours a large beer for someone sitting at the counter. The guy receiving the beer spares me a glance then turns around again.
"It's Ruby. Her name is Lacey, she's, um, a little shorter than me, has dark curly hair, pretty blue eyes and a foreign accent. Is she in here?"
"That does sounds an awful lot like Lacey. She's over there by the pool table. Has been here a lot lately."
"Yes, I figured. Thank you."
"Anytime."
Just as I turn around I hear Lacey's voice, shouting something. I catch her attention.
"Lacey! What are you doing?"
"I'm playin' pool. Come join me." She has a smile plastered to her face, but she's so drunk she can hardly stand still without tilting.
"We are going home now because you have the early shift, remember?"
"Can't you just tell her I'm sick?"
"Oh you are sick Lacey, sick at pool. Quit kicking my ass!" Some guy yells. He's probably as drunk as she is.
"Lacey, now", I say.
"Stop muckin' around Ruby and leave me alone. I'm winnin'!"
After several attempts to get her to come with me I give up. Still I can't bring myself to leave her so I sit at the counter with the bartender and wait until she drops. At five a.m. she staggers over to the counter and almost throws herself onto it.
"Martin! Last round."
"I think you've had enough now Lacey. Let your friend here take you home."
Lacey turns her head and looks surprised at the sight of me sitting there.
"Ruby, you're still here?"
"Yes. Can we go now?"
"One more."
"She won't have just one more you know", Martin says. "That girl's bottomless when it comes to booze."
"But she doesn't have any money", I say, horrified at a sudden thought: What if she has stolen them from me or Granny? With all that she has supposedly been drinking over the past weeks – and I know it's been weeks, because I noticed the signs – she must have spent a lot.
"She has some, but she mostly gets guys to pay for her. Wins it at pool and such. That one over there must be close to broke." He points out the guy who was playing pool with her a couple of hours ago.
This still means she has taken some. Unless the small salary she gets paid in cash in addition to broad and lodging covers it. Granny decided to give her a little extra when she gave her the morning shift. Granny really likes her.
Lacey is staring at me with dreamy eyes.
"You're really pretty", she says. I am somewhat pissed off at her for stealing our money and making me take her shift tomorrow, not to mention the fact that she's drinking this much though she claimed to be fine, but still her comment makes me smile, even though I try not to.
"Let's get you home." I sneak an arm around her waist, which is a little uncomfortable since she's shorter than me, but it's the only way I can keep her steady.
"Good night, Martin was it?" I say and try to walk out the door with Lacey dragging her feet and talking black.
"Yeah. Good night Ruby. Give Lacey my best, when she's conscious again."
I try to sneak Lacey in without waking Granny. She will throw a fit if she sees how drunk Lacey is. I'm not sure I manage to stay quiet with Lacey already half asleep and no help at all when it comes to dragging her down up the stairs. I find her key in her bra and take it out. It's a weird feeling to be touching her breast like this, even if it is just for a tiny moment and I feel a kind of heat in my gut. I shake it off and get her inside. It doesn't take long to realize that I can't leave her like this, so after I put her into bed I get in on the other side and sleep there for whatever few hours I have left before I have to get up and cover for her. There is no way she'll be ready at seven a.m.
"It's not your problem, Ruby leave it alone. I'm fine." Lacey puts away the last plates and turns around to face me. Her voice is low. Probably because she doesn't want Granny to hear.
"No, you're not. Lacey I'm worried. You look like you haven't slept in days and you stay out every night, it's not healthy."
"Neither's bein' locked in an asylum for god knows how many years. At least I get fresh air now." That concludes the conversation. Her eyes are on fire when she looks at me right before turning on her heel and leaving the diner. I'm stunned into silence. She never talks to me like that. Not long after I hear the door to her room closing and I know I won't get through to her tonight.
The next morning she's up taking her morning shift, smiling at me, but I notice the lack of energy in her every movement.
She's keeping a distance though, and maybe it's just paranoia, but I get the feeling she doesn't want to talk to me. The only time she speaks to me that day is when the late shift is over and she taps me on the shoulder.
"Lacey, I-" But she stops me.
"Please don't, Ruby. Just wanted to say that Billy's standin' outside asking for you."
I look up and see him waving at me through the glass. I sigh and get up. Reluctantly I go out to meet him. He moves in for a kiss that I can't bring myself to return.
"Is there something wrong Ruby? You haven't answered me for the last week."
I sigh again. Even before I open my mouth I can see it in his face. He knows what I'm about to say.
"Look, Billy, you're a really great guy, I mean that."
"Oh, that's never good."
"I'm sorry, it's just that, I don't think I'm putting as much into this as you are and I don't want to do that to you. I don't know how else to explain it."
His turn to sigh. I can't stand that hurt, disappointed look on his face. I hate letting people down.
"Did I do something? Just tell me."
"No", I say and shake my head to emphasize. "You did good, It's not that. I just don't feel it, I'm sorry."
"Well, I guess I have to thank you for being honest."
"I'm sorry", I repeat.
"Don't be", he says and smiles a bit. It conceals his hurt poorly and I feel horrible. The wolf isn't roaring this time, it's whimpering.
"I really wish it worked, please believe that."
He nods. "I guess I'll see you around then. I have to go." He turns around and leaves. I stand there for a minute, watching him go while trying to understand just why I don't feel anything other than guilt.
I try to honor Lacey's wish for me to let her problem be her problem, but that's just it. How is it just her problem, when I'm up worrying about her anyway? The staying away only lasts one night, the one after that I get dressed at three o'clock at night and go down to the Rabbit Hole again. I'm greeted by Martin.
"Hello again, beautiful. Looking for Lacey?"
I nod. "Yeah, she's here right?"
"Always is these days. Just over there by the pool table." It comes into vision when you're standing at the counter, but concealed from the door. Lacey is taking a shot. She's wearing that dotted dress, I notice. She looks good in it.
"That girl can really play", Martin says, interrupting my thoughts. "Fools decided to play her for drinks. Lacey never spends a dime." I guess that's good, because that means she's not stealing money from us.
"I should take her home."
"You can try, but my guess is you'll end up like last time."
I smile vaguely at him and walk over to the table. When Lacey sees me a smile appears on her lips.
"Ruby! What're you doin' here again?"
"I've come to take you home. Look, I know you said that it's not my problem, but it is! So please come home with me."
"Come home with me", one of the guys playing with her says in a mocking impression of my voice. "That's hot."
"Shut up Mikey", Lacey says and shoots another ball. It hits home right away and the men yell words that are impossible to interpret.
"Lacey?" I say and she finally looks at me.
"No Ruby, I'm just havin' fun. I'll come home and sleep in a few hours."
"It's three o'clock Lacey!"
"Just till the end of the game then, okay?" That irritable voice and spark in her eyes are returning. I nod reluctantly and sit by the bar watching her. Even when the game is finished it takes another argument to get her home. And not before she gets her reward drink.
"Just something to sleep on", she says and offers me some. I shake my head, deciding not to speak. I'd rather not say mean things right now that will make her not come home at all. Instead I keep it in, let it boil and use it for strength when I drag her up the stairs one more time.
The pattern continues. It's not always the same Lacey I'm met with though. Last night she was obviously annoyed, but tonight she's sweet and almost flirtatious.
"Can't I just buy you a drink, while you wait for us to finish the tournament? I can win you the next one", she says. She's standing so close that it takes my focus away from what she's actually saying to me. I notice how good she smells. She's playing with my hair and touching my arm, while talking and I have to recall her words one more time to answer correctly. I say no. She's standing over me as I sit by the bar and there's a lock of her curly hair that falls into her face a lot. I keep wanting to reach up and gently tug it away, thinking about touching her face, but I'm afraid to. There's a kind of heat in my stomach again.
Eventually she's off to play another round of pool and I'm left sitting here, watching her.
The next morning she's once again refusing to talk and I'm out bringing her home the following night, this time more mad than before. There no flirtation in the air this time.
"It's your early shift for god's sake Lacey!"
"I'll just take a sickie", she says and drinks on. I snap the glass from her, which brings the fire back in her eyes and I'm in for another hour of trying to persuade her to come home. At one point I think about just leaving her, but as I grab my jacket I can't bring myself to put it on. I can't leave her. She's driving me crazy, but I can't leave. What if something happened? I doubt she can find her way back to the inn.
I finally get her home, get her out of her clothes, feeling way too self-conscious about undressing her, but there's no way she'll be able to do that herself. I hold her hair while she throws up and standing there over the toilet with her I realize I can't leave her now either. So I sneak out to get some of my stuff and sneak back into her room. She has only managed to crawl into the bed. I get into the other side of it. This way I can at least make sure she doesn't drown in her own vomit or something equally horrifying. The wolf rages on, but it's not as strong as before. It wants to hate her just a little bit, but I can't.