Chapter 8: You're Alive?
I'm floating on something high up in the sky for the next couple of days. I don't know exactly what it is, but I'm floating. The sneaking around so Granny won't know is somehow turning me on; it's a little embarrassing to be honest. Sometimes I feel that she looks at me like she knows something. She never says a word, but she shakes her head at me sometimes. Lacey and I try to talk normally during shifts like we used to, but it's hard to stand a feet away from each other, when all I really want to do is go classic movie-style and wipe a table clean and throw her on it. I don't though. Usually we can get by with stolen looks and good spirit until the late night and of course Lacey still attends both the AA meetings and her weekly appointment with Doctor Hopper.
Every so often though, the heat won't settle.
Lacey sticks her head around the corner.
"Ruby, could you come help me in the stock? I'm getting an odd number with the count." She gives me a crooked smile, which I return. One I hope Granny doesn't notice. It's early in the afternoon and we have two customers, who have already received their orders.
"Coming", I say and leave my note block. I swing around the corner in a dancing motion and into the giant freezer that holds our stock. Lacey closes to door behind me and pushes me against it. Her lips are on mine instantly. The heat is making me forget that we're in a freezer. Her hand moves on the inside of my t-shirt and I bury my hands I her hair while kissing her neck.
"Aren't I sneaky?" She asks, sounding a little short of breath and kisses my bottom lip.
"Very", I say and we laugh. We kiss once more and I open the door again. We have a mirror at the back wall which has come in handy a number of times in the past week. I straighten my clothes and redo the ponytail before reentering the diner. I do ponytails a lot these days.
"So is the stock in order?" Granny asks.
"Very much so", I assure her and smiles at her. She shakes her head lightly and continues writing in the book for the hotel guests.
The nights are sleepless, too short and full of kisses on skin. Lacey moves with grace and a magic touch that is unlike anything I've ever experienced.
"How do you know to touch me like that?" I ask her one night after regaining my breath.
She laughs and answers: "I honestly can't say." She leans in and licks my lips.
"Teach me", I whisper against hers. I see her eyes widen, but then that teasing smile forms on her pretty mouth and she kisses me again, this time taking my hand and leading it.
After the first two weeks or so the undeniable need to be all over each other settles just enough for us to get through the workday and get out of the house.
This evening we decided to go see a movie in the small Storybrooke cinema. They don't have that many good movies in there, but none of us really noticed what was going on up there on the screen anyway. The dark comes in handy and since very few people were in there we had a corner all to ourselves.
When the movie is done the outside has gone dark too and helps us hide.
We walk down the street hand in hand, Lacey's head leaning against my shoulder and the light from the diner is approaching too quickly.
"I wish we didn't have to hide", Lacey says softly.
"I know, I'm sorry. I just need more time." I keep thinking I'll have some epiphany, telling me how to break this to Granny, but it just doesn't happen. "I'm sorry", I whisper again.
"It's okay. Hey, stop for a second." She turns around to face me. Her hands leave mine to cup my face. "I can do this as long as you need. I'm more worried about you."
"I just don't know how to tell her", I whisper against her face.
"You'll figure it out." She stretches up to kiss me, soft and tender. I close my eyes and try to forget about telling Gran. Her forehead leans on mine and she's smiling against my lips.
"I just wanna stay like this."
"Me too."
I kiss her and stroke her hair gently. At some point it's getting cold, but it's not until Lacey starts to shiver that I really notice.
"We can go inside if you want."
"I am feeling chilly. We'll go somewhere tomorrow, when we both have the day off."
"Sounds good", I say and brush over her beautiful face with a finger before letting her go. "I can't believe my luck, that you were too tired to walk on up to Mr. Gold's shop that night."
"Me neither. But it was colder then than now. Come on, let's go in." She chuckles. For a moment I think about just taking her hand and walking in like that, but I'm afraid to. Instead she's a few steps ahead of me and opens the door.
"You were late out tonight", Granny says, but she smiles a bit anyway.
"We got talkin'. No alcohol I promise. I better go to bed, the early shift's mine. Good night Granny", Lacey says and turns around. "Good night Ruby." The little smile is playing at her lips.
"'Night Lacey." I know I shouldn't stare at her with Granny standing right there and everything, but I can't take my eyes off her.
"What's up with you, girl? Sure you didn't take a sip of something?" Granny asks, breaking my trance. I shake my head, but I'm pretty sure I'm still smiling.
"No, just zoned out for a sec. You need any help?"
"No, I'm fine. Go sleep it off", she says. I hurry up the stairs before she says any more.
It all feels so unreal. Like walking around in a dream, only this time I would never want to wake up. I can't believe my own head, I sound like a love struck teenager. I sound like Ashley, when she first met her boyfriend. The only difference is that I don't get to enjoy it with the world around me, but for now I prefer it this way. I don't mind putting off the moment of truth where I tell Granny for just a little while longer.
Besides there's still something exciting about sneaking around I guess. Like stealing kisses when everyone is looking away, holding hands underneath tables when we're out somewhere. I would never do that at home, it would take Granny two seconds to find out. It's always out of the house. Like right now.
"What shop did your Granny say we should buy from again?" Lacey asks. She's walking right beside me, not holding my hand, but brushing against it from time to time. I can't help but smile, whenever I feel her skin. Whenever I do she'll look at me and snicker.
"It's just around the next corner."
When we turn the corner we are met by Mr. Gold. The brushing against my hand stops instantly. I don't like Mr. Gold very much; he seems a little shady somehow. And superior, like he knows something no one else does. I'm not as opposed him as Granny, but I'd rather not talk to him. I've walked by him many times, and he usually just ignores my presence, walking on with his cane.
Only this time he stops dead at the sight of us. My first thought is that he's seen something. He's an older guy, he could easily be prejudiced. Upon second look I don't think that's it. As usual he pays no attention be me whatsoever. Instead he's eyes are fixed on Lacey.
"Belle", he whispers. I look at Lacey, who seems just as confused as I am. Who's Belle?
Mr. Gold seems to be in some kind of trance. He walks close to her and reaches out a hand. Lacey doesn't move away, but let him gently grip her arm. I'm fighting every urge to pull him away.
"You're real… Alive", he says, barely audible. I start to think the man has lost his mind. "She did this to you." She? Regina? Does Mr. Gold know something about that? I open my mouth to say something, but one look from him tells me it's a bad idea. I also notice that there are tears in the corner of his eyes. Instead I stand by in silent confusion.
Finally Lacey pulls away.
"I'm sorry, do… do I know you?"
Mr. Gold is actually crying now. I'm nothing short of stunned. I didn't think the man had emotions. "No", he says. "But you will." Then he hugs her. Lacey's eyes widen and she stands useless for a moment. Then she gently pushes him away.
"I've really got to go now, Mr…"
"Gold."
"Mr. Gold. Well, good bye." I take that as a cue to start walking again and I tug gently at her hand. She follows me. Mr. Gold follows us with his eyes until we're finally blocked by the wall of the supermarket.
"That was weird", I say as soon as we're inside.
"Yes, it was like he… knew me somehow. Mr. Gold. He was the man I was supposed to go find that night I found you instead."
"Yeah. Well, he's a strange man. And he seems to know about Regina, so message delivered I guess."
"Yeah, I reckon. Let's not talk about it here."
I nod and instead we find the items Granny asked us to get without talking. Every now and then when the row is empty we sneak a kiss. I can tell she's a bit distracted though.
That lasts all day. When everything is cleaned at the diner I go to her room and find her on the bed looking out the window.
"Sometimes I wonder if I have a family out there", she says after I've closed the door behind me. "Maybe not here in Storybrooke, but somewhere in the world."
"I couldn't say", I admit. "But probably, I guess."
"I should go look someday. Think it's one of the things that made me drink. Not knowin' where I'm from or who I am. It pains me sometimes, not knowin'."
"I understand", I say and sit down beside her, leaning against the wall at the end. When she turns around she doesn't seem sad, but somewhere in between sadness and curiosity. "Never knowing your parents, I get that. Mine were killed in a traffic accident, when I was little. I've always had Granny of course, but sometimes I wonder what it's like to have parents."
"That must've been horrible." She crawls over to me and leans against me, resting her head against my shoulder. I wrap my arms around her, hugging her to me. I can feel the warmth from her body like this and I don't feel horrible at all right now.
"I honestly can't remember them. It happened so long ago."
We're silent for a bit, watching the black sky through the window.
"Do you think I'll ever get my memories back, Ruby?"
"I don't know. Doctor Hopper hasn't come up with anything?" She tries to shake her head against my shoulder and I get all of her soft curls into my face.
"No, not really. He says it's a long process."
"I hope it works someday. As long as you won't forget this", I say into her hair. She turns her head to face me.
"I don't want to forget anythin' ever again. Especially not this." There's that teasing smile again and I can't do anything but return it. "Enough talk of this. Do you want to watch a movie with me?"
"Sure."