The Distance That You Can Never Reach
I can hear them through the certain I shouldn't be here, I shouldn't be watching. I know that if I'm caught I'll be whipped but that's the price I be for being a slave. There is no light and no dawn which will rise for me, as much as I want it to my freedom will never come, because after all I service the conqueror in her bed chamber. I'm there for her when she needs to relive the tension its funny how I've come to love this dark haired woman and even I know it's wrong to. I've seen her do brutal things that would turn your stomach. She's evil to her staff and her servants, people say I'm lucky because in general she's nice to me. What they don't understand is that I have to suffer the sex which can be just as painful. I'm so torn I know better I've been a slave for most of my life I know you don't fall for your master. You never open your hear or it will be your death and your feelings have no meaning in the grand scheme because a horse has worth more than you. You may not wear a collar but all is spoken for and you have no choice or say.
Funny how it is that tonight I would give anything to be in place of Marc Anthony's place even though may be painfully. Right now it feels like a rejection but that's just my mind playing tricks because it's no rejection I'm not a free woman so I can't claim to be the conquerors lover. Gods I hate the sounds of pleasure right now I want to scream but I know no ones listening so it turns to a silent scream that tears at my stomach. It not fair but then the world is never fair, despite all your wishing some things will always be, as they are far beyond your reach, it's the painful truth of this world. I'd like her to always come to me I'd like her to love me but I know that she loves no one. It's not like the conqueror of the known world would care for the whims and views of a slave anyway.
I realize I've been watching there sex for far too long from behind this curtain and now I feel myself carefully stepped away towards the slightly open door. I know better than to linger if anyone sees me it will be my death and so I find myself fading back in to the darkness. I guess I should always accept that I'll always just be the object on the side. No one ever cares for the object on the side it's the one you push off when you're not looking. It's the one you throw away because the others always look better. It's the one you replace in the end when you're done and I know all to well that the conqueror does get bored of her things in the end be they gifts or people. There's always something better out there waiting in the wings I'm just the blonde of the moment and she'll find another just like me one day. Its funny I'm sometimes wonder whose more the weak me or her? I do it as a service because if I don't I'll die for disobedience yet with most of her deals she seals them in the bed room and I'm there just to fill in the rest of the time. I walk out of the room wiping the tears away from my eyes as I move quickly towards my room. You can never love and you can never be given love I guess it's just the way things truly are. Love comes to you when you don't want it and you hate it later for showing its face because you can't escape it and in the end it does nothing but torment you…
Silvermoonlight