Ok, so I basically wrote this chapter in my head while walking around Paris, that's why I managed to do it so quickly. Rating has gone up. I hope you like it, and I'd really appreciate it if you left a review, it makes me so happy when you do. x
She woke up while it was still dark. They were lying facing each other as they had done last night, facing one another, their arms wrapped tightly around each other's bodies, they had hardly moved. She had slept with her face buried against the T-shirt he was sleeping in, the warmth of his chest serving for a pillow. His eyes were closed. She didn't want to disturb him, so she extracted herself as gently as she could, beginning to roll slowly to the side of the bed.
"I'm not asleep," he told her, opening his eyes, making her jump a little, "Please don't go."
She relaxed gratefully, sinking back down to lie beside him, touching his head gently, brushing her hand over his hair, touching him, trying to make herself believe that he was back in their bed beside her.
"How long have you been awake for?" she asked him.
"Since five," he replied.
"That's four hours of sleep," she pointed out, "At most."
"I've learned to sleep in short shifts," he responded.
She let out a sigh, but remembered what he'd said last night about not talking about what had happened until he was ready to. She stroked his cheek gently, asking him;
"Do you feel alright though?"
"Yes, I do," he replied, "This is the best I've felt in a long time."
He kissed the top of her head and she smiled up at him.
"Me too," she told him truthfully.
Stretching her arm back around his chest, she pulled him close to her again.
"I missed you so much," she told him softly, resting her head against his T-shirt again.
His hand rubbed in broad circles over her back through his old flannel pyjamas that she was wearing, which she had adopted years ago.
"I missed you too," he replied quietly, "It feels so good just to be next to you again."
"I know," she responded quietly, "I know. For me too."
Their legs had twined back together, their limbs seemed to be locking them into each other. And then his head bowed down to hers, their lips pressing tenderly together. It was almost strange and new to be kissed again, but still familiar, as the scent of him. She liked it. She let out a quiet sigh, parting her lips under his, allowing herself to remember the taste of his mouth. She sighed again, working her hand between their bodies, holding onto the front of his shirt with her fist, pulling him even closer to her. His hand was in her hair, holding her head softly.
"What time did you say you had to be in today?" he asked her.
"Nine," she replied.
"We have time," he told her softly, so gently suggestive, "If you want to."
She smiled against his mouth, pressing another kiss there. And then she paused for a moment.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" she asked him.
He pulled away a little further to look at her.
"It's been nine years," he reminded her, as if it was necessary, a look of confusion on his face.
"I know," she told him softly, "But-… I don't know. I want you to be sure. I want to know that you don't have to do this just for me."
"I do," he told her softly, kissing her again, "I want to do it for you and I want this, I promise you."
She smiled, wrapping her arms around his neck, kissing him in reply. They kissed for long long moments, re-learning the feeling of one another's bodies, kissing each other slowly, thoughtfully.
"Lissy," he asked her after a few moments, "Can I ask you something?"
"Of course you can," she replied.
"Did you ever-…"
"What?" she prompted him softly.
"Did you ever think about pursuing anything else when I was gone? Did your pursue anything?"
"Are you asking if I slept with anyone else?" she asked him quietly.
She wasn't sure if she was surprised or not that he asked her. She must have been at least half-expecting him to wonder. But a painful lump rose in her throat all the same.
"Partly, yes," he replied, asking plainly "Did you ever think of finding someone else? I mean, I understand if you did," he continued softly, "It was a long time, and you might have thought that I wasn't-… going to come back. It doesn't matter if you did, really, it doesn't. But I'd still like to know."
She realised that his question was in no way accusing, simply curious, genuinely questioning, wanting to know what had happened to her while he'd been gone.
"It would have mattered," she insisted softly, "It would have mattered very much. And, of course, I didn't, Joe, there was no one else. I've told you before," she continued, smoothing her hand over his cheek, "You are the only man I've ever loved, the only man I want to be with, in any way. I've told you before, I never really liked sex until I was with you. No one else crossed my mind in that way. No one else ever came close to you. So, you know, you'll have to be a bit gentle with me, at first."
He eyes were closed, listening to her voice. He smiled at this last, though, and opened them.
"I love you," he told her softly, opening his eyes, "I love you so much, Lissy."
"I love you too," she replied.
His arms engulfed her and he held her close. His hand stroked her hair, caressed the back of her neck, trailed around her body, under her breast to the buttons down the front of her pyjamas.
"You're like my Penelope," he told her softly, kissing the line of her jaw, whispering in her ear, explaining a moment later, "Faithful to the last."
"Alright," she told him with mock sternness, "You don't have to explain your references to me. I might not have done Classics but I have read things. You're not the obscure bastard you think you are, Molesley."
He snorted with laughter, and she did too, pulling him closer to kiss him again. He had the front of her pyjama shirt open now, he was looking at her skin.
She felt alarmingly self-conscious. It had been no exaggeration the night before; her body had changed a lot in the last nine years. In her own opinion she had become visibly older. Poor man, he remembered her body as it had been when she was barely out of her teens. This was a sorry sight for him to come home to. But he didn't seem to think so. He was pressing kisses down onto her collarbone, he was cupping her breast in his hand, kneading it softly. She remembered the way his body had changed, what had been done to it. He had seen far worse than an ageing woman. In the past he had seen her come back here covered in blood, he had washed her, he had cared for her, he had held her in this bed. He had seen worse that this.
He was still raining kisses down onto her skin.
"You're so beautiful," he told her softly.
She sighed in relief, hearing him say it out loud. He heard her, raising his head, looking into her eyes. He seemed to comprehend her anxieties all at once.
"You smell the same," he told her softly, "You feel the same. You're like coming home. I love you so much."
She wanted to weep with joy this time. He bowed his head to her chest, taking her nipple into his mouth, pushing the flannel shirt off her shoulders. She gave a quiet moan.
"Are you still on the pill?" he asked her softly.
"No," she replied, "There was no point."
"Oh, right," he said softly, drawing away a little, "We'd better-…"
"No, it doesn't matter," she told him quietly, quickly, but with a firmness in her voice.
He looked at her in surprise.
"It doesn't matter, I'll take care of it," she told him swiftly, "Just stay with me. Make love to me and stay with me."
"Are you sure?" he asked her.
She nodded firmly.
"Kiss me," she asked him, "Please."
He did so, and she worked her hands under his T-shirt, allowing their lips to part only to whisk it over his head and off. Her hands rested against his bare chest, his skin was so warm against hers. His hands held her hips, then, slipping down under the waistband of her pyjamas, stroked her skin, cupping her bottom and pulling her close to him. She stretched her legs out, wrapping one over his hip, linking it around his waist. He rolled her onto her back and she raised the other, both legs wrapping securely around his waist, her arms cradling his shoulders and neck. Their mouths met each other stroke for stroke, kissing each other softly, soundly. Caressing the curve of her hip, his fingers moved smoothly to her front, seeking out her folds, slipping between them. With his other hand he gently nudged her knee away from his waist so he could remove her pyjamas. She lay naked before him for the first time in years, and his eyes swept over her appraisingly.
"You're even more beautiful than I remember," he told her in a whisper as he lay back down beside her, half over her, his hand reaching back between her legs.
His fingers trailed slowly between her folds, offering her a semblance of the pressure she needed. She knew he was teasing her deliberately, he had always liked to do this, and she liked it too. But she wanted to feel him too. She tilted her hips into his touch, making him increase the pressure. She sighed softly as he took the hint and touched her more firmly, rubbing circles on her sensitive skin. He dipped his fingers inside her and she gasped in surprise, sitting up a little. He met her, kissing her mouth, calming her, sinking his fingers deeper inside her. She groaned with pleasure, closing her eyes. It was so good to feel him like this again. But she wanted more.
"Joe," she asked him softly, "Please."
He smiled softly, letting her know that he would not tease her this time.
He slipped his pyjamas off and lay back down beside her. Once again, she wrapped her legs around his waist.
"Come here," she murmured, encouraging him to roll over her, again, "I want you."
She moaned out loud as he moved his hips and pushed inside her.
"Are you alright?" he asked her, "We can stop."
"Don't you dare," she told him, her hands on his face, making him look at her, "This is-… wonderful. Just this. This is all I've wanted for so long."
He kissed her tenderly, moving his hips a little.
"What about this?" he asked her.
"Yes," she murmured, kissing his shoulder with her lips apart, "Oh, yes."
He moved his hips again, thrusting deeper into her.
"Yes," she groaned, "God, yes."
Her hand gripped the back of his head as he pushed into her again, rocking his hips repeatedly and she rose to meet him, arching her back, pushing their bodies together. She kept kissing his shoulder, sucking hard as his fingers worked down between their bodies, pressing at her centre, and he pushed her over the edge. His own climax followed seconds later, and he spilled himself inside her. Their bodies collapsed together and her fingers trailed gently up his spine as she felt his heart hammer into hers, wanting to calm him.
She closed her eyes, kissing his cheek once. She was so glad they had done this. They had shared so many secrets while they'd been together, and now if they could not talk just yet, she wa glad they had this, at least.
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