CHAPTER EIGHT

"What's the time?" Marina asked.

They sat at in the departure lounge of the Galeão International Airport.

"12.10." Vanessa replied without looking up from her tablet.

Marina looked down the corridor. Boarding would start any second. She'd lingered as long as she could before going through customs, much to Vanessa's annoyance, checking her phone every few minutes, looking over her shoulder as they made their way to the gate just in case she caught the sight of Clara's face. Each minute she didn't arrive was hope dying, each minute was her heart fracturing a little more. She pulled out her phone again, dialing Clara's number and again it went to voice mail.

"Stop it, Marina! She's not coming."

"You don't know that," Marina whispered miserably, "She can still make it..."

"She's not coming. What did you expect? I told you from the start it would be like this."

"Please, Vanessa, please... just, I can't stand your lectures." she said and hugged herself. If Clara didn't come...if Clara didn't come...

Minutes ticked by and boarding started. Marina hung back, watching the line grow shorter. Finally it was just them standing amongst empty waiting chairs, the quiet hum of the air conditioning and the harsh halogen lights.

"Last boarding call for flight 122 to Paris, last call." came the voice over the intercom. The boarding attendants looked to them expectantly.

"Come on," Vanessa said kindly gave her her hand. "It's time to go."

Marina looked up to her best friend, at that smile on her face and she hated it. It seemed so smug and self satisfied, triumphant even. She felt sick to the pit of her stomach and she looked to the plane that sat on the tarmac waiting for them to board and she didn't want to go. Paris, which had seemed full of promise and possibilities the day before now seemed pale and drab like a grey, desolate winter's day. She thought she might scream.

"Don't touch me." she growled when Vanessa placed her hand on her arm. She watched Vanessa appraise the situation.

"Come on, Marina. We have to get on that plane now."

"I don't want to go."

"Oh my God!" she exclaimed, turning to the boarding attendants, smiling and letting them know they'd be there in a minute with a wave of her hand before turning back to Marina, "You're being a child! You're getting on that plane!"

"Leave me alone. You can't make me." she said her voice rising.

"Marina!" Vanessa hissed, "Don't make a scene. I can't help it if Clara isn't here like you wanted, but seriously, girl, grow up."

She sat down beside Marina and looked her earnestly in the eyes. There was understanding there, pity even. "I get it, Marina. I get it. You're heart is breaking. But we have a job to do. We have people waiting for us, we can't just abandon our commitments because of this. Clara will be here when we get back."

"You don't get it, Van. I can't keep doing this. I can't. I thought I could wait forever and maybe I could have before but after the photo shoot ...it hurts me not to be with her. I need her, Van. I need her and I thought finally - I hoped she'd come..." Tears welled in her eyes and she swallowed the lump in her throat, unable to continue. Vanessa tentatively place a hand on her shoulder and when Marina didn't resist she took her in a hug and kissed her hair.

With the arms of the person she didn't want around her, Marina wondered what happened to who she used to be. Carefree, unattached, untouchable. She'd like it that way. She'd had the power take it or leave it, to seduce whomever she fancied and go when she grew tired of them. Never had her heart ached so much, never had she felt less in control.

She'd know. In that first moment, she'd just known that it was done, she was in love. And she'd rejoiced. Because the concept not getting Clara was alien to her. She couldn't have foreseen that she'd be sitting here, in an airport, completely broken down as if the cosmic hand of fate had finally finished grinding her down and now she was only dust.

"I know, it hurts," Vanessa said, rubbing her back. "I know. But we have to get on that plane, okay? I'll take care of you, my love, we can get drunk in the plane, on a ridiculously expensive bottle of wine and watch some crappy movies, okay? And when we get to Paris, I'll take you to that little cafe we both love and we can re-live all of those happy memories we made in that city together..."

Marina didn't want that. Her heart wept at those words. Maybe before Clara she would acquiesced because she'd thought she'd been in love with her, or at least she'd told herself that. But if she'd been honest with, even then she'd known that the love she had for Vanessa was only one of great affection and nothing more. Now the thought of rekindling their romance was an anathema to her. It made her insides curdle because she'd touched the purity of real love and nothing less could ever be okay. She'd never find this again, she knew.

Marina sat up and looked at the plane through the windows. There was only one thing that she truly cared about that could never let her down and it awaited her in Paris.

"Let's go." Vanessa said, wiping her tear stain cheeks away. "No more, no more crying."

They stood, walked to the the boarding counter and handed over their passports and boarding passes.

"Wait!" came the breathless voice behind her. Marina swung around and there she was.

"Oh for God's sake!" Vanessa exclaimed.

Marina dropped her carry on luggage and ran towards Clara, pulling her into her arms.

"You came, you came." she said and hugged her tightly, burying her face in her neck and breathing her in.

"I came."

They held each other as though their life depended on it.

Vanessa cleared her throat behind her.

"Well, isn't this touching." Vanessa said.

"Vanessa -" Marina turned to see that pinched look settle on her face. All the softness from the moment before was gone and she could see the disappointment curl in on itself to strike like a snake.

"You know what. Maybe it's me who shouldn't go to Paris. Since Clara has seen fit to abandon her ailing husband and her son to be with you, Marina, I wouldn't want to intrude." She pressed her lips into a taunt smile and looked to Clara. "And there are so many things that need to be sorted with the studio, so I think I'm just going to stay here and see to those."

She pulled out a folder and handed it to Clara.

"Here, this is everything you need to know. I'm sure you'll do a wonderful job. Knock yourself out." she said venomously.

She looked to Marina who stood there. She seemed to hesitate as if waiting for her to say something, stop her maybe, protest at this sudden change of plans. She didn't. Vanessa seemed to register this, rocking back on her feet and sucking in her breath. Marina could see betrayal in her eyes, hurt and anger. She wished she wasn't the cause of it.

Then, without looking back, Vanessa squared her shoulders, straightened her spine and she marched back down the corridor.

xxxxx

As the airplane waited for Vanessa's luggage to be retrieved, Marina gazed at Clara who fluffed around putting a book in the pocket of the seat in front of her, fiddling with her safety belt, shifting and re-shifting in her seat to find a comfortable position. Finally she settled and sighed. Marina took her hand and Clara seemed to become fixated as their fingers intertwined, the forest green colour of nail polish against the pale colour of Marina's skin.

"I need to change the colour of my nail polish" Clara said vaguely and started when Marina's free hand brushed her hair back, finger tips trailing along her neck. She grew still and her breath caught as Marina shifted closer until the tip of her nose found the pulse point just below her ear.

"You came." Marina murmured.

"Marina..."

"No one cares."

"Oh God, Marina, you can't do this to me in public..." she whispered with a tremble.

Marina moved back, smiling.

"You came." she said. "You have no idea how happy that makes me."

"I came." Clara agreed warmly, "I can't believe I came!"

They laughed, giddy, like teenagers. Marina kissed Clara's hand and then grew serious.

"What happened?"

"I couldn't loose you, Marina. I couldn't give you up."

"And Cadu?"

Clara's eyes said it all.

"It's over, Marina. Our marriage is over."