She awoke on a crisp Tuesday morning to see Dudley Dursley standing in her bedroom with a cupcake and frosting. A tub of frosting, she noticed. Oh my Merlin... She sat up slowly and glanced at Dudley in surprise. "Happy Birthday... and one year."
"But... My birthday was last week and trials were-"
"Yeah, but you weren't here for your birthday, and we never got around to celebrate," Dudley shrugged. "That was my attempt at London, but it sort of failed before it could end properly. And we're going to miss our one year, so... I thought I'd roll them all into one."
She gave him a heart felt smile, still amazingly groggy, but she hugged him, careful of the cupcake, and then took it from his hand when he offered it to her. "How did you get in here?"
"I knocked on the door and Angelina let me in," Dudley shrugged. "Your mums out, it seems."
Of course she was. Aquila yawned and glanced at the frosting. "So, what is this all about?"
"Well, since you decided for my birthday a few weeks ago to get me a season pass to Arsenal and wake me with an ice cream cake, I've done something just slightly better. The cupcake is for your birthday. The frosting, on the other hand..." He ripped off the lid to reveal an unopened package. Oh, Merlin. He held up two spoons shortly after. "I figured what's better than ice cream? A shitload of frosting."
"God, I love you," she murmured. "Did you make these cupcakes?"
"Er, no... Mum did, but there's twenty-three more still at my house for you to devour. Probably safer for you she did, anyway. I have no idea how to cook."
"You're fattening me up," she giggled, licking at the icing on top of it, before sighing in content. "I have a confession to make. Polly made your ice cream cake."
"Er, I knew that," Dudley chuckled.
"Oh, well, good, cause it's true," Aquila smiled. He settled himself on her bed, mindful of her feet tangled in the sheets, and sighed in content. "I'm going to miss this."
"You leave in three days... are we going to talk about it yet?"
"Can we start on the frosting first?" she asked. And even though it wasn't really her birthday, she still didn't want to let it ruin the moment.
He passed her a spoon before tearing at the tin covering. He waited until they both had a spoonful before sighing. "Happy one year anniversary."
She smiled, plopping her head on his shoulder. "Happy one year." She glanced towards her clock, her eyes widening. "Why did you get up at six in the morning to get over here?"
"Because I know you wake up early," Dudley chuckled. "So I had to wake up even earlier. This is an ungodly hour, I hope you know."
"I don't blame you for thinking so," Aquila giggled. She took her first mouthful of the frosting and moaned in absolute to die-for happiness. She loved frosting. And he was right. It was much better than ice cream.
They sat in silence, staring at her wall by the front window, content with the fact that she was sitting there with her boyfriend at six in the morning eating frosting. It didn't get better than that. "Have you given any thought to university yet?" she asked.
"Lots of places," he admitted. "But not quite sure yet. I'm thinking anywhere that's not close to London at the moment would be great. Safer probably." She agreed. "But nowhere too big, but nowhere too small."
"Go where you want to go," Aquila encouraged. "It's your future, your career."
"Er, yeah," he muttered.
By the time the container was half-empty, she approached the subject. "I don't think it would be fair to you ... if, while I'm gone, you had to wait for me the entire time-"
"So, what do you think we should do, then?" Dudley asked. "Break up?"
"We could go on a break," Aquila offered. "For the year I'm gone. And... and see what happens in that year. And if, at the end, we want to go back to each other, I'm all for getting back together." She sighed. "It's not the best I can come up with, but I think it'll be the best."
"Yeah, okay," Dudley muttered.
"And... that way you're not stuck in a relationship while I'm gone, and I'm not left worrying constantly that you don't lose interest because I can't reply to any letters."
"Stuck in a relationship?" he echoed. "Aquila, I don't consider myself stuck in a relationship right now... why would I then?"
"Because... I don't know," Aquila admitted. "I didn't mean to say it like that."
"Do you feel like you're stuck in a relationship with me?"
"You know that's not true," Aquila argued, but Dudley didn't seem to believe her.
"Do you not want to date me?"
"Dudley-" Aquila started.
"Or do you not? Or is Quidditch more important to you?" She swallowed, lifting her head to see that he was angry. And by his expression, he had thought about this for a long time. This was something he truly felt. She felt horrible that he had been thinking this, for a while now. Because he shouldn't have. "Because, it seems to me that Quidditch will always be more important to you than anything else you set your mind to."
"Dudley, that's not true," Aquila said firmly. "You know that I love you-"
"Do I?" Dudley asked, standing, setting the frosting on her nightstand. "Do I know it? Because right now it doesn't look like that, Aquila. It looks like you're being bloody selfish and going off and starting your life while I'm stuck here, picking up the pieces while you're gone."
"I promise you, I'm coming back," Aquila insisted. "Just because I'm gone for a year doesn't mean that I'm not coming back! I'll be here, bright and early, in a July afternoon, ready to -"
"How will I know?" Dudley demanded. "How will I know that you don't die out there, Aquila? Or that you're hurt? Or that ... I don't know, something bad happens? I won't know! Because you'll be out living the life with Lynch and lal of his little buddies, and if something bad happens, you can't get in touch with me."
She swallowed. "If I'm hurt... because of the war or something, someone would tell you, Dudley-"
"And what if they don't?" he demanded. "I'm just supposed to sit here and think to myself every time I see something bad on tv that it's okay, that my girlfriend probably wasn't there - oh, wait, she doesn't want to be my girlfriend anymore, because she wants to go fuck Lynch-"
"That's not what this is about," Aquila argued strongly. "I don't want to fuck Lynch. I have no intention of doing so-"
"Why is Quidditch so important to you?" Dudley repeated. "Why, Aquila? Why is giving up her entire life to play Quidditch for a year so important to you?"
"Dudley, you know it's been my dream since-"
"How do I know that you won't end up ... married to that bastard that your mum signed you to marry?"
She swallowed. "Dudley-"
"I don't, Aquila," Dudley snapped. "I don't know. And what if it happens? We'll never see each other again. Don't look at me like that- Angelina told me everything about it. Everything it would entail - it's disgusting, and how can I be ... be perfectly content if I know that there's a risk you could be kidnapped and forced into that!"
"You don't-"
"Exactly," Dudley agreed. "I don't. So, I'll ask again, why is Quidditch so important to you? That you're risking this. This life we had together, this future you have- because you'll always be in the news, and they'll always know where to find you. And if Otterburn gets mad? If he decides he wants you? What's going to stop him? The team? Because no one was there to stop that bridge from falling until its too late. Who's to stop you from being kidnapped until its too late?"
"What life?" Aquila cried. "All we do is sit around and do nothing! It's nothing, but sitting around, watching movies, eating! We don't do anything!"
"Did you want to do something different? Because last time I checked, you didn't. Last time I asked, that was okay with you-"
"I don't know," Aquila admitted pitifully, running her hands along her face as she rose from the bed, moving around the room. "I want more, but I don't. I love you, I love sitting around with you and doing nothing, but I can't do it forever, Dudley. I have to... to do something. To be something more! I can't be a housewife. I don't want to be a housewife. That's why I'm not getting married. I never want to get married. I ... I can't just sit back and do nothing. That's not who I am! I travel the world, I meet people from everywhere, I try exotic food, I research phenomena - even though I hate research - and I can't just sit on a couch every day and stare at a tv box. I'd go mad!"
"I'm sorry I can't be a wizard that can sweep you off of your feet and take you Paris for the weekend, or guy you glorious mansions or all of the tickets you could ever want. I'm sorry I'm not the perfect guy for you, Aquila," Dudley snapped.
Her heart broke at how little he thought she meant to her. She never meant to make him feel inadequate. "That's not what I meant- I love you... You don't have to be perfect for me, because... you're already perfect to me."
"Apparently not," Dudley cried. "Apparenty, I make you stir crazy because I don't bloody do anything!"
"You've felt it to," Aquila argued. "The bloody elephant in the room whenever we're together. Because we both knew this was coming. We knew that when I left, things would be different. And they are going to be. Whether it's the war or ... or between us, I don't care, I don't know, but it's going to be different Dudley. Whether you like it or not, it's going to happen."
"Why? Why is it happening? Why are you using this entire," Dudley waved his arms around him, "situation. If you're unhappy, why didn't you tell me? Why wait until now? I can't change anything if you don't tell me you're unhappy! So stop being a selfish bitch and talk to me for once!"
"I was trying to talk to you!" Aquila cried. "I've been trying to talk to you. Please, I don't want to fight. I don't want this to end with a fight." She turned to Dudley, tears in her eyes as she stared at him from across the room, breathing heavily. Bitch? He thought she was a selfish bitch? "I'm sorry you think that... I wish it were different, but it's not, Dudley."
"Then why even try?" Dudley demanded. "Why even get to know me? Why is it that weeks after we met, you're inviting me to Quidditch excursions - with your dead boyfriend's ticket, might I add. Is that why we're dating? So you can get over your boyfriend? Everyone thinks it! Angelina, Fred, George, bloody hell, even Miranda and Gavin. I'm not one of your kind. I don't belong in your world. But now you've gotten me all tangled up in your world, in the war, in the fighting and your friends, and it's not fair-"
"You would have been involved in the war no matter what!" Aquila shouted. "Don't you see that? Your family has been denying the war since Potter's parents died sixteen years ago! Well, guess what, Dudley? They would have come for you no matter what. They would have murdered your family in their beds no matter what. That's what they want. That's not what dating me did. I've changed nothing regarding the war. They want you, they want Potter. And you're only safe because Potter's underage. If he wasn't? I guarantee you wouldn't be here right now. I guarantee that ... you would have been dead before I even knew you. This all would have happened no matter what, Dudley. The bridge, the villages, everything!"
"Well, maybe it wouldn't have!" Dudley shouted back. "Maybe-"
"Unbelievable!" Aquila cried. "You're denying everything? You think that this wouldn't have happened?" she demanded. "But because of me, the world's falling around us?"
"It's not fair, Aquila," Dudley groaned. "It's not fair that after being so caught up in your world, I'm shoved out of it just as quickly. I didn't fall in love with your world, I fell in love with you. And I don't care about any of it, if I don't have you-"
"It's not your world, Dudley. And this one isn't mine," Aquila said after a moment, swallowing. "That's the truth. You know it. And... I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry I couldn't do more for you. I'm sorry that I'm getting a career started for me - one that will open up millions of doors, and you don't want to wait a year for when I come back. Becuase, if you can wait just a year, can you imagine? The war might be over, we don't know. And... and we could explore the world together, be happy together-"
"What about my life?" he asked. "I've got school, and my own job to set up. Because in my world, we don't have these amazing opportunities, like you. We don't automatically get a job right out of high school. We have to go to University, maybe even get a Masters or Doctorate, before we have any chance at the job we want. And I'm not giving up my career because my witch girlfriend wants to bask in the joy of hers."
"That's not what I'm saying at all, Dudley, and you know it. When I come back, we can talk then about the future, but-"
"What if you don't come back?" Dudley demanded. "What then? I spent a year putting my life on hold? Only for you to not come back?"
She sighed, shaking her head as she didn't know what else to say, but what she had already said. "I promise to come back."
"No, you don't," Dudley snorted. "You promise to not think about me for a year, and then after the year's over, give me the light of day again, maybe. If you think I'm worth it then, because I'm not exciting." She swallowed, opening her mouth to argue. "So maybe you shouldn't come back."
"Dudley-" He turned, grabbing her door and making a move to leave. "Dudley! Dudley, don't you dare leave-" She took a deep breath and started to follow him, but he was fast, thundering down the stairs. "Dudley, wait! Please, I don't want it to end like this-"
And she grabbed his arm, using all of the strength she had to shove him into the wall, to make him look at her and meet his eyes. "Look me in the eye," she demanded. "And tell me that you don't want me to come back. Look me in the eye and tell me I'm a bitch. And that I shouldn't be playing Quidditch. And that I'm an idiot. And that-" her voice cracked and she swallowed, trying to keep the tears away. The anger slowly dissolved from his face. "Look at me and tell me that you never want to see me again. Because if you can do that, I won't try out. I'll stay here, and... and work on trying to do something else for my future."
There was silence a moment as they held each other's gazes, and he sighed. "I think you're an idiot." She nodded, biting her lip. "And I think you're putting yourself in danger. And I think that you should have told me you were unhappy..." She felt her eyes well up with tears. "But I don't think you should give up your dream for me. It's just not fair... I fell in love with you, and now you're going away."
She sobbed, relieved. She loved him, so much, but giving up Quidditch for him, it would have strained their relationship more than going and playing. She felt his hands brush away at her tears. "And... I think," he continued. "That you should go, and try out, and play for Ireland, but... I'm going to hate every second of it."
"I'll come back," Aquila whispered, kissing him and resting her head on his chest. "I promise. Because I love you. I don't care how many movies we watch, or how many couches we wear down, because I love you and you make me happy..."
He released a shakey breath and she felt moisture on her cheek where his own tears had fallen. "God, I just don't want to lose you."
"Then you won't," Aquila promised.
"So a year."
"Anything we want, with whoever we want. And if you find someone else, or I find someone else, then... we go from there," Aquila said quietly. "We have to promise to sit down and talk, okay? That... we'll talk to one another about it, and then go from there."
"Okay," he said quietly. "I'm not happy about it, but okay."
"We're like a fine wine. We have to breathe before we can taste better."
He chuckled and Aquila lifted her gaze, only to find he was looking at her with an expression so pure it made Aquila's heart swell. And then their lips met, causing a cascade of love to pour out of each of them.
"Where's Angelina?"
"Mentioned something about her boyfriend when I stopped by."
She nodded, tugging at his shirt. "Upstairs, now."
His grip tightened on her hips and she jumped, wrapping her legs around his waist and they didn't break lip contact as he carried her up the stairs, to her bedroom, slamming the door shut. And then she was on her bed, her head dizzy from being dropped so carelessly, but he was over her, pulling off his belt as Aquila struggled to get her shirt off, her hair getting caught in the button and she groaned as she tried to untangled it, but she just gripped the base of her hair, and the button, and pulled, effectively damaging her hair, but she couldn't care at the moment.
And then Dudley was kissing her, his dog tags brushing against her skin, making her jump. "Since when do you not wear a bra?"
"I never sleep with a bra," she murmured. "I don't have on panties either." He groaned into her mouth, before tugging at her athletic shorts, leaving her completely exposed underneath him as he climbed onto the bed. A flick of her wand cast his shorts and boxers to the floor and he wasted absolutely no time as he pulled her hips closer to him.
Aquila wrapped her legs around his waist and suddenly, he was inside of her, and her back arched with the delicious feeling of him inside of her, and their skin pressed against each other, making the angle so... perfect. And then he was thrusting inside of her, and her hands dug at his skin, a cry leaving her lips as he thrust harder into her, deeper, and she felt so... alive. Like every nerve in her body was thrumming.
"I'm sorry," he murmured. "For what I said-"
"I'm sorry... too," she gasped. And she used the force of his next thrust to flip them so that she was straddling his waist, leaning down over him. It caused them to be separated, but Aquila quickly remedying the situation by sinking down on his length, taking him in fully. He groaned, his eyes squeezing shut at the feeling.
And then their bodies were moving and she was lost, trying desperately to be found... to find something. Find him? She didn't know. But she just wanted something.
The orgasm crashed over her, making her jerk against him, and then she was kissing him, moving for more - more direction, more something that would lead her to him, to his own pleasure. She didn't know how long they shifted, changing positions, doing everything they possible could because they knew... deep down, that this would be one of the last times for a long time and she wanted her memory of him to be ... to be as complete as possible.
She didn't know when she fell asleep, but it was some time after they had both been spent, and she had finally eaten the cupcake on her nightstand. He gathered her into his chest, as if exhausted himself, and sighed softly into her hair as she closed her eyes, the dogtags tangled on her fingers.
She awoke, groggy, aware that it was sometime late morning, to an incessant pecking on her window. A bloody owl, which meant it was probably the Prophet. It was the best way to find out what had happened in the world if she didn't have access to the Order 24/7.
"There's a bird at your window."
"Tell it to piss off," Aquila muttered, her body shifting so that she lifted the pillow under her head, using it to effectively block out the pecking noise.
She felt Dudley shift out of the bed, approaching the window and then a rush of air came into the room, as well as flapping wings and hooting. "Piss off," Aquila groaned, throwing her pillow towards the bird. "Take the paper with you-"
Dudley chuckled and made a go at the bird, and it let him take the paper from his beak before it stared at him curiously. "What does it want? Like a cracker or something?"
"Give it a handful of coins on my dresser," Aquila muttered. "And then it'll fly out. Bloody bird." This was why she liked her owl. It didn't bother her when she was asleep.
She heard the clinking of coins and then the swooping of the owl as it left. And then silence, or close to it as he seemed to be woking on flipping the paper open. "Can I have my pillow back?" she asked quietly. "Or I might steal yours."
The pillow was tossed at her and she snorted, keeping her eyes shut as she shoved it under her head, shifting in an attempt to get comfortable again. He slid back in the bed, still as naked as he had been during their coupling, and she rested her head on his shoulder, her pillow forgotten, cracking open her eyes as he stretched the Prophet out in front of him. Images of a burning home was on the front page, Aurors attempting to put it out, but to no avail.
"Are those Wizarding Fire fighters?"
"Those are Aurors," she said quietly. "Our law enforcement, rescue team, danger ... squad. They're trained to deal with pretty much everything." She sighed quietly. "What was the family's name."
"Um..." He was obviously more awake, as he was reading the article. "Abbott?"
Aquila jerked. "What?"
"Yeah, the Abbott family."
"Casualties?"
"Mrs. Evangeline Abbott and Mr. Henry Abbott, both Ministry workers... did you know them?"
"Their daughter is in Harry's year," she said softly. "What happened to her?"
"She's missing."
"That's awful," Aquila said softly. "She's such a sweet girl. Hufflepuff, always helps a few Ravenclaw first years with their homework. She tutors Herbology... Neville must be heartbroken."
"That kid that we met last year?"
"They began dating a few months ago," Aquila admitted. "They both help my Herbology professor with repotting plants..." Aquila frowned at the picture of Hannah Abbott, staring at the camera with a grin. A friend must have supplied the photo.
"She's pretty," Dudley admitted. "Are all magical people pretty?"
"Typically. We're all inbred so we get good genes... Hannah was Muggleborn, I think..." She stared at the picture and Dudley flipped the page, reading a few reports about the Millenium Bridge incident, before flipping even more to tragic stories. The gossip page, which gossiped about the latest marriages and dates, and Harry Potter, of course.
"I didn't know it was this bad," Dudley admitted.
"It's only going to get worse," Aquila sighed. And it was true. Because he would only get stronger with each passing day he was out there... and it meant that they were only getting weaker.