Shadow and Rose

by Lady Norbert

A/N: Thanks so much for all the favorites and follows!

Chapter Four: Wildstone Clasp

A roughhewn gem in a deceptively simple setting. Great skill was required to fashion this to look primitive and yet still elegant. Morrigan has an eye for quality that defies her wild nature.

Andraste have mercy... well, I guess She did or I wouldn't be writing this. My thoughts are all over the place so I don't even know if what I'm writing is going to be intelligible later. I'll try starting where I left off last night.

The evening passed off decently, and the morning came quickly enough. The battle was near at hand. Duncan took Elissa and myself aside, and I finally got to hear about what was decided at the meeting with Cailan. I was really disappointed, to be honest, but by Cailan's own request, I was not to enter the battle! He chose Elissa and myself to climb to the top of the Tower of Ishal and light the signal beacon, which would tell Teyrn Loghain to bring his men to Cailan's aid. After that, we thought we might have a chance to help with the fighting, but Duncan didn't seem to entirely think so.

I had the treaties among my gear, as Duncan had requested, and for some reason I had also thrown this journal in with them. I don't know why. It was a good idea in the end, because I would have lost it otherwise, but I'm getting ahead of myself.

Duncan bade us farewell, reminding us that we were now on our own and that he expected us to live up to our roles as Grey Wardens. I felt a little sorry for Elissa, having this much responsibility thrust on her after being a Grey Warden for less than a day, but she seemed to take it in stride. Her mabari - Toby, I had to go back and look in this journal for his name - followed us as we started for the bridge to cross the gorge and enter the tower. We were both knocked to our knees as a projectile slammed into the side of the bridge. Some of the soldiers on the bridge went down and didn't get up again. In the distance the trees seemed to be burning, despite the rain that was falling steadily.

We reached the far side, where a guard stopped us. The Tower was lost, he said. Darkspawn had found a way up from underneath, come in through some forgotten tunnel or something like that. We would have to fight our way to the top floor, but we had no choice. There was a mage nearby who attached himself to our party as Elissa, the dog and I rushed into the fray.

There didn't seem to be a particularly right way to do the thing, really, so we just took the enemy as they came. With the mage casting protection spells at us, and healing spells when they were needed, it actually wasn't too hard. We cleared the first floor of darkspawn and headed upstairs to do the same to the second floor. Part of the tower was already destroyed, which limited the amount of space we had to clear. Elissa was unstoppable, running around throwing open doors and taking the darkspawn hiding in different rooms by surprise.

On the third floor we encountered a bunch of darkspawn amid a group of cages holding mabari. I don't know why they weren't out fighting with the other dogs, but they sure looked eager enough for battle. Elissa's a quick one, I have to say - she hatched a plan almost immediately. She rushed at a nearby darkspawn and bashed it to the ground with her shield, and while it was disoriented she ran to a lever stuck in the floor and threw all her weight against it. This opened all of the mabari cages at once, and the dogs made quick work of the darkspawn that we didn't kill ourselves. Once the enemies were all dead, the dogs (I mean, other than Toby) ran out of the room.

"At least now they have a chance to escape with their lives," Elissa said.

Up we went, and up, and finally we were on the roof of the tower. While Toby and I killed the darkspawn we found up there, Elissa ran for the signal fire and wrestled to ignite the wet wood. The mage helped her, using his magic to dry out the kindling, and as the last darkspawn body hit the floor the flames burst forth. The signal was lit. We did it.

Maybe it was silly of me, but I felt kind of proud - of both of us - and I couldn't help saying it. "You know, I think we work well together!" She looked at me, kind of surprised, and then she smiled. It was the first time I've seen her really smile since we met; well, it's not as though she's had a wealth of reasons to smile. I wouldn't mind seeing her smile more often... but I'm getting ahead of myself again.

What happened next... I still can't believe I'm even writing this. I can't believe I'm alive to write it.

We had just relaxed the smallest bit when the door burst open. Suddenly the whole roof of the tower was swarming with darkspawn. We barely had time to react - the mage (I feel so bad that we never even got to know his name) went down almost immediately, and Elissa took three arrows to the throat. The last thing I remember was trying to get to her, trying to help her, and then blackness. I think I got brained from behind.

The next thing I knew, I was waking up in an unfamiliar bed, wearing only my smallclothes, and a familiar voice was sort of chuckling. "Awake, are you?"

I had to take a break from writing, there, to eat a little something. My hostesses, for lack of a better word, have been civil and reasonably kind.

Anyway, I woke up in this unfamiliar bed. Standing over me was - and I couldn't make this up if I tried - Morrigan's mother. I tried to sit up, and she made this gesture that clearly indicated that I was supposed to stay put. "You took quite a blow to the head. I wouldn't be in a rush to be on your feet if I were you."

"What happened?"

"You were in the tower. I turned into a giant bird and plucked you off the roof."

"...is that a joke?"

"It might be. Make up a better story yourself if you don't like mine. The point is, you're alive, which makes you a bit different from the rest of your order."

I froze. "What... what do you mean?"

She sighed. "There's really no good way to explain this. The battle is over, and the darkspawn won. Ostagar has fallen."

"The Wardens? Duncan? The king?"

She shook her head slowly. "All lost, I'm afraid."

"But we lit the signal fire! Teyrn Loghain was supposed to bring his reinforcements!"

"Is that his name? My daughter saw him and his warriors fleeing. Apparently he felt that retreat was the more prudent option."

"...no."

"Oh, yes, I'm afraid so."

Loghain betrayed us. He betrayed Cailan - betrayed Duncan - betrayed us all. I still can't believe it. I don't want to believe it.

"Maker have mercy." I was sitting up now, and holding my head. "Wait - Elissa! Where is Elissa? She was on the roof with me!"

"That would be the young lady Warden with a polite tongue in her head, yes? She's in the other room. I rescued her at the same time I rescued you."

"She's alive?"

"I believe that's what I just said, but you're not the brightest specimen I've come across, so I'll repeat myself. She's alive. Still unconscious, my daughter says, but alive. Her injuries were more severe than yours."

"You saved us both?"

She clucked her tongue at me. "Maybe they hit your head harder than I realized. Your memory seems to be vastly addled."

"Can I see her?"

"Considering she's not wearing much more than you are just now, I don't think she'd appreciate you walking in there while she's asleep. I'm sure she'll be up and around in a day or so. Be patient."

I'm trying, but it's not easy. Elissa is the only other Grey Warden left in all of Ferelden, if Morrigan's mother is to be believed, and I just want to see with my own eyes that she really is here.

As soon as I was allowed to get up, I went through my gear. Everything seems to be there, and so I sat down and started bringing this journal up to date. I still can't believe...

Elissa still sleeps, but we did have a development of a different sort this morning. I heard barking outside and went to investigate.

I can't begin to figure out how he did it, but somehow, Toby survived the sacking of Ostagar. He got himself down from the tower and out of the encampment, and managed to track his mistress all the way here. I know they say that the loyalty of a mabari is beyond human comprehension, and that only death itself can separate a mabari from the master it chooses for itself, but I was still stunned.

I had to explain his presence to Morrigan and her mother, but they took it fairly well in stride. He seems to have accepted the explanation that he can't go into Elissa's room, at least as much as a dog can seem to accept anything. Maybe he's just relieved to find himself someplace safe.

She's awake.

Maker's breath, I don't think I've ever been so glad to see someone in my life.

I wasn't quite sure how to greet her - I almost hugged her, I was so relieved, but we don't know each other very well and that seemed rather awkward. I think she was glad to see me too, though, and she was certainly glad to see her dog. I can't blame her; she probably figured he died at Ostagar.

We learned that Morrigan's mother's name is Flemeth, the same one in the old Chasind legends, and therefore really is the Witch of the Wilds. So she says, anyway. We had to have a long talk about what to do next, but we've decided to take the treaties that Flemeth had stored for us and go to the mages, the elves, and the dwarves to talk to them about the Blight and ask for their aid. I've also recommended that we go to Redcliffe, to bring matters to the attention of Arl Eamon. I would like to think he's forgiven me for my childish anger, and I know he'll do anything he can to help us fight off the darkspawn. With any luck, he can persuade the other nobles to do the same. We have to try.

It's still hard to accept that we're the last two Grey Wardens in the whole of Ferelden, but there it is, and that means it's up to us. I had a frightening moment where I thought Elissa was going to back out, but she promised that she'll stay with me. And then she had the presence of mind to thank Flemeth for saving us, something I had utterly failed to do. She really is a very good diplomat. I think if she doesn't mind, I'll let her do most of the talking.

To be honest, it's probably best if she just steers the whole mission. My mind is so clouded with grief over the loss of the other Wardens - the loss of Duncan - that I have a hard time thinking straight. If I didn't have Elissa to follow, I wouldn't even know in which direction I was walking.

Walking we are, though, on our way to the village of Lothering - all four of us. Oh, yeah, Morrigan has joined our party. Not my idea, nor Elissa's, nor even Morrigan's for that matter. Flemeth insisted that her daughter accompany us. We've stopped for a breather, so I've scribbled all this down while the ladies are otherwise occupied. Morrigan knows about which berries and whatnot are safe, so she's collecting us something to eat, and Elissa is examining a map of Ferelden. Not sure where she picked that up, but it's bound to come in handy.

Lothering is... depressing.

Many of the people who have fled the southern areas that are being invaded by darkspawn have ended up here, either on their way to somewhere else or simply because they haven't got any idea where else to go. So there are a lot of refugee tents. We encountered trouble just by walking into the village when we found ourselves confronted by bandits. They've been milking ten silvers out of every group that comes here, claiming it's for the upkeep of the imperial highway. I think even Elissa's dog could see through that story. Once they got a taste of what we could do with our blades, and Morrigan's staff, they were only too happy to clear off. We were disgusted to find that they'd apparently killed a Templar, whose body lay nearby, and we reluctantly took the locket from around his neck before disposing of it properly. I'm hoping we can turn it over to the Chantry and they can return it to the slain knight's next of kin. The name inside the locket indicates that its owner was called Ser Henric.

Morrigan and I are not getting along. She doesn't like me, I don't trust her. I feel a bit guilty that Elissa's stuck in the middle but I don't know what to do about it. She's doing her best to keep the peace.

The people here need a lot of help, and while Morrigan disdains Elissa's tendency to try to "solve every problem we come across," she doesn't try to prevent it. So far she's given money to a child whose mother was most likely killed by darkspawn, gathered herbs for medicinal poultices for the local Chantry, and led us on a small chase around the village to dispatch three more groups of bandits who have been preying on the refugees. I'd like to know where she gets all her energy.

So now we've added to our numbers. Two more, in fact, and I'm not sure which one is the odder.

First, we stumbled across a Qunari soldier being held in a cage. He's confessed to the murder of a farming family, which naturally does deserve punishment of some sort, but for the first time since we met, Morrigan and I agreed about something. Keeping him in a cage and leaving him to be destroyed by darkspawn is not a fair sentence. Elissa introduced herself, which drew some confusion from him about the fact that she was polite to him. (I'm noticing a theme among the people we meet. Elissa's good manners are a recurring cause for surprise. Have we really fallen so far as a society?) Anyway, she promised to try to have the Chantry turn him over to her custody, since we need all the warriors we can get.

Before we could go to speak to the local Revered Mother about the situation, we decided to give some custom to the little public house. A hot meal at a real table sounded like a good idea to me, but inside we found trouble. Some of Loghain's men were there, and one announced that they'd been looking for a woman matching Elissa's description. Somehow, Loghain's aware that she and I survived Ostagar; at the very least he suspects as much, probably because he knew we were the ones who lit the signal fire and had some small chance of escape. That's bad enough, but what's worse is that he's spreading the tale that Cailan fell at Ostagar because the Grey Wardens betrayed him - and he's put a bounty on the head of any surviving members of the order.

A sister of the Chantry was also present, a red-headed girl with an Orlesian accent, and she tried to intervene on our behalf. Loghain's men weren't having any of that, of course, so we had to fight them. To our surprise, the sister actually joined the fight, and had her share of blood spatter by the time Loghain's men yielded. Elissa spared the leader and told him to give Loghain the message that the Grey Wardens know what really happened at Ostagar, and he and his surviving cronies fled the scene at once. The sister, who introduced herself as Leliana, expressed her relief that Elissa had demonstrated mercy. She looks to be about Elissa's age, while Morrigan I think is a bit older even than I am, though not much.

Leliana then explained that she wanted to join our party. Seems she's had a vision, or so she claims, directing her to do more or less exactly that. The vision was corroborated, in her mind, by the sudden blooming of a dead rose plant on the Chantry grounds. It's a bit too weird for my tastes, but Elissa... well, she's leading the group, she has the right to decide who comes or doesn't. And as she put it, it's probably foolish to turn away help when it's offered freely.

We ate quickly and headed back to the Chantry. There was a man ranting outside about the approach of the darkspawn. He spotted Elissa and shouted that she was the first, that he could see the darkness about her - could he possibly sense the taint? But why about her and not me as well? No, he must have been simply mad. Elissa spoke to him calmly, soothing him and getting him to share his story. Somehow she was able to bring some kind of ease to his troubled mind.

Inside the Chantry we encountered a figure I recognized from Redcliffe - Ser Donall, one of Arl Eamon's knights. He had some disturbing news for us. It seems Eamon is gravely ill, and no one can figure out what's wrong with him or how to cure it. Desperate, the arlessa has charged several knights to seek out the Urn of Sacred Ashes - the last mortal remains of the prophetess Andraste - in the hopes that a pinch of the ashes could restore him. Ser Donall is on the trail of a Brother Genitivi, in Denerim, who has been researching the matter. He also said that he was looking for Ser Henric, a traveling companion from whom he'd been separated.

How she remembered it, I'm not sure, but Elissa recalled that this was the name inscribed inside the locket of the knight whose body we encountered. She gave it to Ser Donall, who confirmed the identification. He was, naturally, saddened to learn of his friend's death, but grateful to at least know what had become of him, and promised to take care of returning the locket to Henric's relations. One less thing for us to worry about, I suppose.

We found the Mother, who was alarmed to learn of Grey Wardens in her village. She promised to keep our presence a secret, but couldn't offer any other assistance. Elissa inquired about the Qunari, and with Leliana supporting the request, the Revered Mother consented to turn over the key to his cage. She gave us all a blessing before we left, and I was surprised when even Morrigan bent her knee to receive it.

We returned to the cage and released the Qunari, who identifies himself as Sten. This isn't his name, though, it's apparently his rank in the Beresaad. That's the name of the Qunari vanguard. He doesn't talk much, and definitely doesn't like being asked questions. He tolerates them from Elissa, I guess because she's the one who arranged his release, but it's clear he doesn't appreciate inquiries.

There's a windmill on a tall hill in the middle of the village's meadow, not far from a stream, and we've made camp between the two landmarks for the night. We probably could have tried to sleep in the Chantry, but they're pretty much stuffed with refugees and I think we're better off where we are. Nobody's likely to bother us here. I'm keeping the watch right now.

Hang on.

Elissa was having a nightmare, I could tell by the way she was thrashing. So I moved over to sit near her until she woke. They're pretty normal for a new Grey Warden; I still get them from time to time myself. The taint connects us to the Archdemon, and we can hear it and see some of what it's doing. Eventually, Duncan said, we learn to block it out. He probably never had the chance to explain that to Elissa - I'm thinking there are a lot of things he never had the chance to explain to her. Never will. Guess it's up to me.

As if I can take Duncan's place, in any sense. I'm just a bastard who had enough dumb luck to escape the fate of my brothers.