Chapter 17: Tamed Or Untamed?
I am only vaguely aware of the wind blowing by my face, the soft ground underneath the wolf's paws. I don't know where I am, but the wolf does. I have finally let my real inner monster break lose and I'm directing it towards the center of town, but the road taken is not mine to decide. I see in glimpses only partly conscious in my wolf-form, the way I was before I met my mother and learned to control it. I feel a fundamental thrill about the fact that I'm even partly awake. It's better than before, back when I killed Peter. That was an absolute blackout, not unlike yesterday when I killed Billy. This time I have thoughts of my own, I can think while the wolf races towards the end. I can send thoughts out to the people I will miss, when the mob kills me and it will all be over.
There's fresh air as my consciousness comes back into focus. I can hear them. I can see the fire from their torches. The sight of them flashes me back to the first mob that chased me away. The wolf howls. It feels frightened and trapped in this town, because it too knows that it can't escape here. The animal has a greater will to fight and live than my human self. It has fewer thoughts. It howls again as I'm pushed out of its mind once more.
I'm standing between containers and I hear the sound of the ocean. A man is pointing a gun at me. It confuses my wild mind to know what a gun is, since I don't by nature recognize the thing. I know by instinct that it's dangerous though and I take a step forward and growl louder. He raises it.
It fires.
The bullet is sent adrift and the gun hits the ground. I turn my head to see a woman I know I should recognize standing on top of a building holding a crossbow. Granny. This is Granny.
I growl again, confused and frightened.
The crowd of humans in front of me lead by the human with the gun is shouting and filling my ears with noise. I try to make them back off by growling louder.
Someone is calling a name. I think it's mine. I sharpen my claws against the hard ground ready to leap forward and tear the stranger up if he comes any closer. I bare my teeth at him.
"Ruby?"
Somewhere in the back of my mind the voice feels familiar.
"Ruby, I know you're in there, so listen to me. It was Spencer, not you." It was Spencer, not you. Spencer. The man with the gun. The man in front of me now. It's David? "Don't let him trick you into thinking you're a monster".
Who are you calling a monster, I roar and get ready to launch at him. He backs away immediately, looking remarkably unthreatening. I subdue to a low growl and try to make out the words.
"-right. Poor… poor choice of words. Please. Ruby, I know you." He knows me. He's David. "I know the real you and I know you can control the wolf."
The wolf. Me, I'm the wolf. I feel my body calming. I'm the wolf.
"Ruby." He keeps saying my name. Ruby, that's my name. My name is also Red. He whispers it again.
I feel something shifting into focus. I'm Ruby. I'm Red. I'm the wolf.
"Ruby?" He keeps saying my name as if to remind me that I'm a person. And I am. It starts coming back. This was how I learned in the first place. By accepting the whole truth, the wolf and the human. I am both, just like Snow says, my best friend. I can see their faces before my eyes now. Snow, who is gone, Granny who's standing on top of the building pointing her crossbow at Spencer. It was Spencer, not you. So it really wasn't me. I recall words David said to the crowd just before, that was caught by my wolf ears, but not understood: He stole her cloak and killed Billy in cold blood to make it look like a wolf. All to get you to think I wasn't leading this town as I should. The cloak. My hood. I realize that the thing hanging from David's hands is my hood.
"Ruby, it's me, David."
I nod to tell him I recognize him now, but I don't think he understands me.
I see all their faces before my eyes again. I go through it all backwards. Getting here. Running from the library. Escaping the library by chaining Belle to the pipes. Kissing Belle. God, that kiss…
I sit down, lightheaded, but finally in control again.
David throws the hood over me.
I feel my body shiver and shrink back into human size. As I look up I'm staring directly into his friendly eyes. He holds out a hand and helps me up. My body is a little shaken from the sudden shift in form.
"You saved me", I tell him.
He smiles at me. "You saved yourself. I just reminded you of what you already knew."
I can't believe that this optimistic fool was actually right. Belle too. They really were right.
"I didn't kill Billy?" I have to hear him say it.
"No. Spencer did. We found your hood in his car." I smile out of relief and almost feel bad because I remember that poor Billy is still dead. Sweet Billy with those warm eyes and gentleman manners.
There's a noise from the crowd, which looks torn. Half the people look confused and embarrassed. I see Maurice, Belle's father shoot me a mean glance before leaving. It makes me think of David commenting on him calling out anti-gay curses earlier in the day. There's an issue that can't be helped with a red hood.
People are being pushed around and David and I hurry over there to find Granny on the ground.
"Granny, are you okay?" I exclaim. I quickly help her up.
"I'm fine."
"Where's Spencer?" David asks.
"He ran. Pushed me down and ran away. Go get him, go!"
I know what she means. His scent is still strong and there's a clear track of him leading away from here. Following him now that my wolf-powers are at its best will be child's play.
We get in David's car and I lead him to the beach.
We find him hovering over a fire.
"You think you can hide from a wolf?" I snarl at him. The wolf might be contained under the cloak, but its wild, untamed hatred for this man still floats in my blood, now that I'm fully connected to it.
David walks in front and they talk. My mind is drawn to something else. The animal in me is stealing away my focus as I replay my goodbye to Belle. It somehow saddens me, because she finally gave in to me and what did I do? I locked her up in her own library and went to have myself killed. And I didn't try to hide that fact. Different emotions keep washing through me all in a few seconds. Being proud of myself for controlling the wolf again. Being worried that Belle might not want anything to do with me after the stunt I pulled. Being thrilled that I'm still alive. It also hit's me just how terrible a move it was to lock Belle up. I had limited choices at hand at the moment, but thinking back I might just have chosen the worst. Lacey started drinking due to the trauma of being locked up. I have nothing left, but to hope Belle is more resilient. Suddenly I'm positive she won't want to see me again ever.
There's a shift in the atmosphere. David has suddenly become more cautious and Spencer is wearing that mean, creepy smile again.
"… You'll never see your wife and daughter again", I hear him say as he draws something from the coat and throws it into the fire.
The hat. The portal.
David yells in pain and pushes Spencer aside. I stand frozen and watch the flames eat the black fabric of the hat, realizing Snow and Emma's way back have just been lost.
David is pulling out a gun and pointing it at Spencer. For a moment I want him to shoot. For a moment I want to rip my hood off, change back into the wolf and devour this conscienceless, evil man. Then I recall the feeling of being a killer and I don't want that blood on David's hands after he just saved me.
"David, don't!"
He doesn't fire the gun, but stands there staring at the smirking Spencer with a shaking hand. With a pained groan he drops it and falls to his knees on the sandy ground.
After locking Spencer up, we return to his apartment. His, Emma's and Snow's, at the moment only occupied by him and Henry. David is standing with his back turned to me, gazing at the sleeping boy. I stand from a distance, watching them both while hugging my hood close to my body. Honestly I don't need it, now that David has helped me regain control over the wolf, but I wouldn't be able to bear human form until in a few hours without it. I used to hate this thing, but today it feels like my most precious possession.
"He may never see his mother or grandmother again. How am I gonna break that news to him?" He looks up at me.
"You won't have to", I tell him. I feel like I should be the optimistic fool now with David looking so tired. Also I want to believe it myself so badly, because otherwise I won't see my best friend again. I find that after all that has happened these last days I do believe my words.
David doesn't seem to though. "Travel between worlds is as hard as it comes. Fairy dust on its own isn't enough. It took an entire curse to get us here in the first place and without the hat-"
"You'll find another way", I interrupt.
"You don't know that." It saddens me to see the hope vanished from his eyes. David, who's always ready for a fight and never gives up. Just like Snow.
"But I know you", I tell him. "And I know you'll never give up until you do. And David, you're not gonna be doing this alone." Hell, if I'm gonna sit here doing nothing to get my friend and her daughter back. Besides, now that Belle might not want to speak to me again I need something to distract me. Crossing realms will do fine.
He finally smiles. "Thank you."
I smile back. Then I ask him: "Do you mind giving Granny a call?" I need to get out of here now. First things first, I can't wait to run off the anxiety, fear and despair my days has been filled with.
"Sure. Why, what for?"
I head for the door, longing to get outside now that David seems to have it together again. "I may have left Belle chained up in the library. Somebody should probably…"
"Unchain her?"
"Yeah." And it can't be me. It just can't.
"I'll take care of it", he says and I smile gratefully at him. "Where are you going?"
"I wanna do something I haven't done in a very long time."
"Yeah, what's that?" David asks with a crooked smile, like he already knows the answer. He knows the real me after all. My smile grows wider as I pull of the hood and give it to him.
"Run."
And I do. I start down the stairs already feeling my body responding to wolf time again, now that I'm no longer covered by the magic of the hood.
I run down the street as I change.
I break out of my skin and into the coat of fur, howling ecstatically as I start running for the forest.