A/N: So originally I wanted to end it here and have a sweet make up, but I ended up doing it differently. Mostly because there's a lot of emotional aftermath to be dealt with after Ruby's suicide attempt, something they chose not to focus on in the show, I guess. Since this story is essentially about Ruby, I thought I should, so we have a couple more chapters to go. Hope you like it and as always, comments are greatly smiled upon.

Chapter 18: Returning To The Scene Of The Crime

The feeling is inexplicable. It's power, it's freedom. It's sucking in every nuance of the air and feeling the texture of the forest floor in a whole new way. More intense than before. I'm awake and I'm aware of everything as I finally settle in to my wolf form with the acceptance and joy I have had once before. All my senses are heightened and my mind isn't clouded by human speculation. I'm only enjoying the moment and matters like Belle and crossing realms and angry mobs are but small prickles in the back of my mind. They hold no meaning as I run. The wild animal nature takes over as I pass tree by tree, flying through the forest, tracing the perimeter of the town border, careful not the cross it. I wouldn't give this up for anything in the world, not now.

I've forgotten how clear and vivid everything is through the senses of the wolf's body. I chase a rabbit, catch up with it in a second, but don't kill it. It's only a game this time and I'm not hungry. I don't have to kill. At last the choice is mine to make and I choose not to.

I howl as I run, letting out all the bad air in my lungs and draw in the fresh.

I never want to change back.

It's only as the wolf time comes to an end and my human thoughts emerge from the back of my mind that I know I have to. I want to stay wild and untamed, flying through the forest as I please, but I know I can't.

As the wolf time ends with the familiar shiver in my body, I shift back to human form. I know I could shift back again, but I also find that I can't run forever, not in a metaphoric manner anyway. The wolf could carry my anywhere, if not for the cursed borders, but it wouldn't solve my problems.

Sooner or later I have to face the town.

They might accept me and they might not. After all my reasons for handing myself over to the mercy of the town still stands, they just seems less pressing now that they saw I can control myself. Whether they actually believe it is another matter. I can only hope, but at least the menace leading them on is behind bars, the same ones I was just hours ago.

It's early in the day. The sun is coming up and the town is awakening. I wonder what this day will bring. More mobs with torches or acceptance? An assuring thought hits me: Most of them seem to put up with Regina. If they can handle an evil queen looking for redemption, sure they can handle a tamed werewolf.

That's one problem as close to solved as it gets, I guess.

Getting Snow and Emma back is something else entirely. My best guess is that it involves talking to the Dark One. I'd rather David and Regina take care of that conversation. I think he would be more reluctant to help if I started showing my face. He always seems to have something up his sleeve though. In the last week it's been my hood, before he handed it over to Spencer. There must be something else, equally powerful up there tomorrow.

Then there's the matter of Belle. I wonder how mad she is. How hurt or traumatized. I have to figure out what to say.

I start wandering into town with this thought in my head. I walk slowly, reluctantly because I don't know what to expect. Will she even talk to me?

I decide to swing by Granny first and let her know that I'm okay.

"Anyone home?" I ask as I step into the diner. There's a 'closed'-sign hanging on the door since most of our stock has probably gone bad, but if I know Granny right she's in here working somewhere.

"Out here Ruby!" She calls from the kitchen. I find her moving food around, a hopeless battle to keep everything cooled.

"How are you feeling?" She asks me as soon as I enter.

I smile. "Good. Great actually. It felt so good to be running again."

"Mm-hm. And you're fully in control again?"

"I am."

"That's good news. And we'll be receiving a new freezer tomorrow. Until then I'm trying to save as much as possible." She pauses and then walks all the way up to me and grips my arms tightly while piercing my eyes with that stern Granny-look.

"Granny-"

"Don't you ever do something like that again, you hear me girl?"

"I-I hear you. I'm sorry."

"Yeah you better be. Trying to put yourself down like that. What were you thinking?"

"I'm really sorry, I was just so scared and everyone hated me and I couldn't control the wolf…" I trail of, caught off guard by the single tear in the corner of my grandmother's eyes. "Granny, are you crying?"

"Don't ever do that again."

"I won't. I promise."

"Good." Then she pulls me in for a hug tighter than the grasp she had on my arms. I squeeze her and almost tear up myself. Not once during my headless suicide plan did I think of how it would affect Granny. Guilt wash over me and I squeeze her a little harder.

"You're gonna choke me, girl."

"Oh sorry!" I let go. Granny wipes her eyes. "Now help me with the food, we might be able to save some. If not the town will be having beer for breakfast for the next week."

We work in silence for a while.

Mindless work like this only keeps me thoughtless for so long. The thought of talking to Belle keeps coming to the surface, jabbing at me until I can't take it anymore.

"Granny, did you… talk to Belle? When you released her."

She shakes her head. "I had David do it. Was too busy with all this mess. She wasn't happy though." She doesn't say anymore, but gives me a look instead. Nothing else needs to be said. Another thing I silently promise to never do again.

She adds something after all: "You shouldn't have chained her."

"I know. I know. Look, I have to find her and talk to her. Can I go please?"

"Sure. Make sure she's okay."

"I plan to."

I leave the diner and head straight for her apartment on top of the library. I still have no idea where to start other than fifty kinds of apologies. I just hope she'll talk to me long enough for me to explain. Belle's a reasonable person, or at least Lacey was when sober, so I can only assume Belle is too.

The library's closed. I can't help but take this as a bad sign. I find my way to the apartment on top and knock on the door with a racing heartbeat so fast it makes the wolf twitch within me.

No answer. I try again. Still nothing.

My racing heart sinks. Perhaps she's just ignoring me. I put my ear to the door. With my wolf hearing I should be able to hear her move around or even shift in a seat if she's actually there.

After standing there for two hours I have to assume she's not.

I knock one last time, just in case she's sleeping very still, but receive nothing. She's not there.

I walk back into the street, which is now full of people. It's a regular week day, so people are out working. I recognize a lot of faces as the ones in the mob just yesterday. I receive a broad variety of looks. Some still have the same spiteful look in their eyes as yesterday or maybe slightly subdued, now that no one is leading them on. Others look embarrassed. These looks make me walk a bit taller. Their eyes admit that they were wrong. One even comes up to me and apologizes. I smile politely and thank her for apologizing, but know in my heart that it will take more than that to forgive her. There are people who shy away from me and people who act as if nothing has happened. These I don't like particularly more than those with hateful glances. It makes me angry that they think it means nothing, like they didn't almost participate in my public execution. Sure Spencer held the gun, but they lit his way with torches.

I push the building anger aside. Now is not the time.

I wager my options. The next possible places she would go would probably be either her father's or – the wolf snarls at the thought – Rumpelstiltskin's. Neither place is somewhere I want to be.

Her father's seems more likely, since she broke up with Gold. Or maybe that's just wishful thinking. The two men might hate me equally, but only one of them can actually physically harm me.

I know that Maurice French, Belle's father, owns a flower shop. I found this out during the countless times I watched her right after the curse broke. The smell of flowers in abundance is a pretty easy thing to go by and I find him quickly.

Cautiously, I enter the shop. There's a bell ringing just like in Gold's shop and Belle's father comes out with what Granny refers to as a customer friendly smile. I recognize it. It's the kind of smile you put on when you have to look presentable and eager to please, but really something's bothering you.

As soon as he sees me his smile disappears.

"What do you want?" He asks in a hostile voice.

"I just want to talk to Belle."

"I'm not gonna let you near her. I don't want your kind around my family."

I thought I was prepared for the resistance this man was gonna meet me with, but his cold voice and that hateful look in his eyes makes my blood boil.

"Yeah, which kind is that? Werewolf? Or gay?" I snap at him. His small eyes squeeze tighter together.

"Neither should walk this earth."

I compose myself just in time before I start growling at him. He stands up straight, safely behind his counter with his arms crossed as he eyes me with disgust. It makes me want to tear his face up. I take a deep breath and try again in a calmer voice.

"Look, Mr. French I just want to talk to your daughter. Are you really gonna hide her from me?"

He laughs coldly. "Ha! I would, but I haven't even seen her since yesterday. We had a fight because she insisted on helping you. Foolish girl. Thanks to you she isn't welcome here anymore."

"You sent your own daughter away? What kind of man are you?" It's out of my mouth before I know it.

"I won't stand here and tolerate this from you. Get the hell out of my shop, you little freak."

This time I actually growl at him, a deep animal sound that rips through my throat. I watch with satisfaction as his eyes widen in shock and fear and he takes a step back. I walk out before he can say anymore.

Outside the twilight is creeping over the sky. I barely step out onto the pavement before a 'closed-sign is hung on the door to the flower shop. It's a little early to close, but I guess he got scared. I'm pleased. I just hope it won't infuriate Belle further that I scared her father. On the other hand, if he basically disowned her for trying to help me, I guess she'll be able to look at the funny side of it.

Now my steps feel even more reluctant and heavy as I head for Gold's shop in the other end of town. I could get there in the matter of minutes if I ran, but I take my time as I try once more to build up the courage to talk to the man. The real monster.

To be honest I don't know which thought makes me the most nervous: That he's disappointed his plan of hiding the hood didn't have me killed and he decides to finish the job, or that Belle has run back to him now because of what I did. God help me, if she told him I locked her up with chains he'll reduce me to ash in a heartbeat.

Too soon I reach his door. Most stores are closing up by now, but his seems to always be open. I guess this is the best place for keeping up his hobby of deal-making, so why bother closing at all. Does he even sleep? Does the Dark One obey human requirements like that?

I don't know. Either way he's in there, I can hear him walking around with his cane. I take a deep breath and push the door open.

He's standing by the counter, looking at me with an expression that is impossible to interpret. He says nothing as I walk hesitantly deeper into his weird shop.

"I need to talk to Belle."

"You have some nerve comin' here", he says. The way he says it makes it sound like a snake hissing. His face pulls back into a mean sneer that makes him look less human and more like the making of darkness, which he has become. How Belle ever saw any good in this man I can't comprehend, but I guess I shouldn't be one to talk.

"I just need to apologize to her. If she's here-"

"Belle's not here."

Despite his menacing voice I can't help but feel relieved. I try to hide my smile and know that I fail.

"My promise to Belle still stands, but I'll promise you this: The second you get out of control again in the same town as her, I will personally have you put down."

The same reckless rage boils up in me once more as I say: "So you won't leave it to guys like Spencer next time? That was such an elegant loop hole you found there."

"Careful dearie", he hisses.

I ignore the piercing stare. "So I take it you don't know where she is?"

"If I knew, you would be the last person to tell."

"Yeah I figured", I say and walk out. I have to remind myself to walk out with dignity rather than sprint for the door, suddenly terrified that he's gonna kill me with a sith-lightning or something.

Out into the now full dark streets I run to a secure distance before trying to figure out my next move. I'm starting to worry. None of the places she would usually go to seems to be it. I even go back to her apartment one more time and I stand listening at the door to the library and peep through windows to see if she's in there. The obvious places are empty.

Then it hits me. There is another place, so painfully obvious that I didn't dare think about it before now. Of course it's not a familiar place to Belle, but just yesterday she admitted to Lacey shining through.

I run towards the Rabbit Hole.