"We need to march now. We do not have any more time to waste," Jaime insisted angrily, after he had listened to the various objections and alternate plans from the Dornish lords and knights, which had come to Sunspear. A congregation of snakes and daggers, where every man and woman had a plan of his or her own. And the few things they had in common were fear of the ruling prince of Dorne and the common enemy in King's Landing.
They had met in one of the many rooms at the Tower of the Sun, to discuss their final preparations for the war. Lord Harmen Uller was the most frustrating, as he had his own plans and schemes for this war. That was no secret at all, especially after Doran Martell had more or less forced him to obey or else he would have ended up as a traitor to Dorne and the ruling family. He was still particularly bitter about this and the entire meeting would have been impossible, had it not been for the ceaseless effort of Lady Delonne Allyrion, who had done everything in her power to keep Dorne united and the lords focused on the war ahead of them, when all Prince Doran would do, was to watch in silence, his eyes betraying the countless new plans that were forming in his mind, when he watched whom he could trust and whom he should be wary of.
"And what do expect us to do? March on King's Landing and occupy the city? You are not your father and the Usurper is not as insane as Aerys Targaryen, so he would allow us entrance without a fight. As we are, our forces are too weak to break through the enemy lines." Ser Gerold Dayne interjected. The knight looked challengingly at Jaime, waiting for a reply.
Jaime wasn't sure why, but this man was certainly against him, no matter what he had tried. Ever since he had arrived, the man who likes to style himself as the Darkstar, had not wasted even one opportunity to insult him. So far the insults had been veiled carefully, but with every moment his attempts became more brazen.
The other lords waited almost nervously for the moment he would snap. Especially Lord Quentyn Qorgyle's son, Ser Gulian and Ser Symon Santagar, who had positioned themselves carefully, to intervene, should it come to blows. But Jaime kept his temper in check... for now.
"I am not saying that we should march on King's Landing. Taking the city will not end the war. The Usurper isn't there. From what our spies have reported, he cares little for his family's survival. All he cares about is revenge against the Targaryens." Jaime replied, as he watched the Darkstar critically. He couldn't say that he was happy about this. To talk about the death of the Usurper's family, for it was his family, too. His sister and her children. But he tried not to think about Cersei these days, they had both chosen their sides and now they would have to deal with the consequences. At least he tried to convince himself... but it was so hard...
"The Reach needs us now more than ever. We have no other choice but to cross the Red Mountain's through the Prince's Pass and join them in their fight against the Usurpers pillaging troops. They are brutalizing the people of the Reach as we speak," Lady Delonne interjected with great urgency.
"And then what? Join them in their stalemate? We have to strike them down, while their armies are still scattered and weakened. Once the armies of the Riverlands and the Vale have joined that fat swine, they will overrun all of our defenses and obliterate our armies. And we cannot count on the Stormlands to remain neutral for ever," Lord Uller said derisively. "Let the roses fight their war, they are doing us a favor by keeping the Usurper busy."
"Pah, even in the unlikely case that they manage to overrun the Reach, they cannot take Dorne. Our land cannot be conquered. Not even the dragons of Aegon the Conqueror and his mighty armies could do that." Ser Gulian said with a laugh. Jaime could only shake his head, when he saw how much the man actually believed his insane proclamation. A foolish exclamation from a foolish man who had not seen the true face of war. A man who did not understand the situation they were in.
"You sound so sure of your own words, be my guest and ride with us in the first row of our cavalry, when we charge at the enemy. Then you can show us how unbeatable Dorne really is," Jaime told the arrogant knight.
The Darkstar snorted when he heard this, before he said, "And of course you will be there, in the first row I mean. Or will you continue where you have stopped in the last war?" Another slight against his honor, but Jaime managed to keep quiet, though his temper was rising. "Oh, so silent now. Or are you just waiting for the right moment to stain your sword with the right blood?"
"What are you insinuating here? That I would betray Rhaenys? I would rather die than harm her." Jaime almost yelled at the man. Ser Symon had his hand on his shoulder now, ready to keep him from lashing out.
But it would not come to that, for now. "Enough of this madness. We are here to plan our war against the Usurper and his ilk, not to fight amongst each other," Doran Martell barked angrily. So far he had allowed the barbs and slights, that Jaime and Gerold traded all the time. Why though... Jaime had not idea. "We will proceed as planned. Tomorrow the army will march for Yronwood, where it will meet with the other Dornish lords. From there on Ser Jaime will lead the troops into battle. That is final."
"But..." Harmen Uller tried to object, clearly displeased to be the one who would receive orders, instead of giving them. But whatever Doran Martell knew about the angry lord, it was a secret important enough to keep the man quiet.
"The hour is late and we all are tired. We have been cooped up in this room for hours. Maybe we should retire for now," Lady Delonne offered calmly.
"Yes. There is nothing more for us to discuss at the moment, so we might as well retire," Doran acknowledged. He had a pained look on his face, as he stood up. These days he could only walk with the help of cane, even now he was leaning heavily on it, to hobble out of the room as dignified as his aching joints allowed him to. The gout had obviously gotten worse, Jaime mused as he watched the man leave. It was the most likely reason why he had chosen him to lead the troops, instead of leading them himself, from a safe place in the rear of his army.
No more words were needed and the lords and knights left the room, one by one. Jaime watched them leave, as tried to calm himself. It wouldn't do to return to his family with so much anger on his mind. Especially now, when Allyria was still not talking to him. Now, when his daughter's death was still so fresh on their minds and the hurt so ever present in his own home.
And his anger flared once more, when the Darkstar smirked at him, on his way out. But at least the man had shown enough foresight to not stop and try to continue with his mockery or else Jaime would have likely taught him a lasting lesson in respect.
"Ser Jaime," the Lady Delonne was the last who had remained and it was obvious that she had done so to speak to him. Some more words of wisdom, collected in her many years on this world. There was something about this woman that reminded him of his own mother. The authority, hidden beneath a mask of wisdom and gentle forcefulness. He made a mental note, not to underestimate the head of House Allyrion.
"Yes, Lady Delonne?"
"One last piece of advice from me, if you wish to take it,"
"I would be glad for any help you can offer me," He sighed. It was the truth. In all his years this was actually the first time he would have no one to rely on. Not his father, not the Princes Doran or Oberyn. Only himself. He would have to fight Rhaenys' war and keep her lords in check. It was almost disconcerting, just thinking about it.
Delonne smiled kindly at him, before she said, "Leading your men into battle is never an easy task and though you have to keep your mind on the fight, never forget what you are fighting for. I lost my husband in the battle at the Trident, but his brother was with him and brought back not just his body, but also his last words. In the end, his thoughts were with his family. It gave him strength, even to face death itself." He wondered why she had said it like this. Were his problems with Allyria this obvious to others? They had tried to keep this away from prying eyes. Obviously, they had failed. But he knew that the wisened lady was right. His family was his strength, his reason to fight. Where his father only saw his legacy, Jaime saw his brother, his wife and children... and his sister.
"I shall remember your words. Thank you, Lady Delonne."
She smiled kindly, before she turned to leave. But she did not disappear without sharing one last tidbit of wisdom, "And never forget, your enemies are not necessarily on the other side of a wall. Good night, Ser Jaime. And may the gods protect you in this war. They know that the princess needs you more than anyone else in this world." Then she was gone and he was the last remaining person in the room. But he left soon after her.
It was already late at night, when Jaime had finally returned to his quarters. The planning until the very last moment had taken its toll on him. He felt so damn tired. But no amount of sleep could ease this feeling. But he knew, that this would change as soon as they had reached their first battle field. In the end he had no doubt, that he was born to be a warrior and not a diplomat. Oh how he hated it to spend his time with those insufferable lords, instead of spending his last days with his family, before he would have to leave them behind. They were important, just like Lady Delonne had said. He had barely seen his youngest children since he had returned from Highgarden. And all the other lords did was test his patience with their petty grievances. Especially Gerold Dayne had been a constant thorn in his side. He could hardly believe that this man was a relative of his wife.
But even though this man was from the same family, Jaime never talked about this with Allyria. Their moments together had always been filled with a tenseness that he was not used to. Their daughter's death had left a hole in their family that they just could not fill as it seemed. It was a strain on their relationship and he worried about what it could lead to, once he had to leave for months or even years, to fight Rhaenys' war for her. And fight he would. And he would win, so all of them would be free of the constant fear of what might loom in the darkness.
His children were already asleep, as he walked through his family's chambers. But much to his astonishment Allyria was still up. This was most unusual. She had rarely waited for his return in the last few weeks. In fact she had mostly avoided him lately and devoted all her time to her remaining children. It was not just Joanna's death, but also Arthur's abrupt leaving that had changed her. But why was she awake now?
She sat outside, on the balcony from where they could see the inner courtyard of the large mansion. It was eerily quite and the only movement that could be seen was the flickering light of the torches, carried by the patrolling guards.
Jaime joined Allyria and sat down on a chair next to hers. But she did not acknowledge his presence at first. She had seen him, but she obviously ignored him. He accepted it, for now and was content with just sitting by her side. He had come to the decision that pushing her would not change anything. But that was easier said than done. Her silence was quickly grating on his nerves. And he had barely managed to calm himself since he had left the meeting.
"Will you finally talk to me, Allyria?" He finally asked, when his patience had come to an end.
She looked at him, her face an impassive mask, as she replied, "And what do you want me to say, Jaime?"
"Something! Anything!" He was not surprised when he realized how desperate he sounded. This silence was just too much... far too much.
"What would it change? Nothing. Nothing would ever change, Jaime."
"But you cannot tell me that you are happy like this, Allyria. I have allowed you your space after all that has happened, but this has to end. I am tired of seeing you suffer in silence, ignoring me in the process." Jaime said strongly, as he jumped up from his chair and stood in front of her, to block her only way to escape this talk.
"Happy? I have not been happy for a long time. I have lost my daughter..." Her amethysts eyes were filled with so much repressed anger and desperation, when she looked at him. He had never wanted to see this look on her face, no one from his family was supposed to ever suffer like this. But he knew that he was powerless to stop it.
"So have I!" Jaime thundered, "She was my daughter, too."
"Really? You could have fooled me, Jaime. Not once have you grieved for her. All you do is plan for war. All you do is create more misery." She spat at him, her eyes filled with the silent accusation that he was responsible for Joanna's fate. Worse yet, he knew that he was not innocent in this. He was at fault, just like all others.
"Has it never occurred to you that all I do is to keep you safe? To keep our children safe? To keep Rhaenys safe. I do not wish for this war, but we have no choice. I am so damn tired of fending off that fat swine's assassins. I am so damn tired of knowing that my children will never see my home or inherit was is rightfully theirs, just because of that bastard and his unnatural hatred of all Targaryens. I have no choice but to fight, so all of you have a future. There was not one moment of rest for me, ever since the day I saved Rhaenys life." How often had he returned to that day in his thoughts. How often had he thought about what might have been, had he acted differently. Had he not killed Aerys and allowed him to burn the city. Had he not gone to save Rhaegar's family. Had he been faster, stronger, better, so he could have saved Elia and Aegon as well. But this was what had come from his actions and now he would live with it and do his best to protect those he loves.
"I hate it. I hate it, Jaime." Allyria said tearfully, as she jumped up from her seat and crashed against his chest. "I have already lost my daughter and my son, now I am about to loose you, too. I can't take it anymore."
He was taken aback for a moment, before he embraced his sobbing wife and held her close, "Arthur is not dead, he is in the east, with Oberyn. He is safe," he tried to soothe her, but to no avail.
"He could be dead as well. We all know how reckless Oberyn is. I... I am just so afraid to loose all of you..."
"You have to be strong, Allyria. For Damon and Myra. They need you. Arthur and I can watch out for ourselves, but the twins still need you. You must not fall apart because of your fear for our lives. Be strong, for them." He implored her.
"I cannot loose you. I have already lost so much because of those monsters. They took my brother and sister from me. Now they have taken my daughter... I just can't..."
"I cannot promise you that I will return. Tomorrow I will ride to war and no one can predict what will happen. But I can swear to you that I will do everything in my power to come back to you. I would fight all seven gods at once, if I had to do it in order to keep our family save and together."
"I had hoped this all would be easier by distancing myself from you..." She confessed quietly, "But it wouldn't work... I... No matter what happens, no matter what it takes. Just come back to me, Jaime."
He did not answer, he just held her in his arms for what seemed like an eternity. Finally knowing why she had ignored him for so long had eased some of his worries. It was like the gap between them had suddenly become much smaller, though he wasn't sure if they would ever be able to overcome it completely. But in only a few short hours they would be separated once again. He might never see her again. All he could do now was savor those last few hours he had with the woman he loved. It would have to be enough for a long time to come.